Crystal Harris went through with it this time. On New Year's Eve, Hugh Hefner got married. Apparently whatever Crystal could do to Hugh, Holly Madison could not do. Or want to do. Do you blame her though? Would you want to? After dumping Hugh just five days before they were supposed to get married last year and running off with Dr. Phil's son and selling her engagement ring, Crystal managed to not only get back in the good graces of Hugh but also marry the 86 year old who took a whole box of Viagra to try and celebrate his honeymoon which began at 5pm and ended promptly at 530p so he could get his 12 hours of sleep. Crystal appears to have worn white and then stripped to nothing for a photoshoot.
He's another year older now and another year closer to death than the last time they were supposed to get married - she knows what she's doing.
ReplyDeleteHef has a number of exes.I think it has been pre-planned that Cynthia won't inherit his fortune just a stipend for time and service..Hefner's daughter actually runs the day-to-operations at Playboy.
DeleteThe Mansion looks like most every old person's house I've ever been in: at some point, they just say "screw it, I'm not updating shit around here", and ride out their lives in the decor they put in place while in their 60's. It's like time just stops. I mean, look at that wallpaper (?) up there behind the staircase!
ReplyDeleteOh, I know! It's like when you see old people wearing pants that you just KNOW they bought back in the 70's!
DeleteChristopher, my mom JUST relayed a story to me about needing a red shirt for something, so she found one in her closet that worked great, after she cut out the shoulder pads!! Help me Rhonda - clean out your closet, folks!!!
DeleteAnd I'm not talking about people who can't afford new clothes, BTW.)
@frufra, I was totally thinking the same thing about the decor...it looks like it could've been my grandpa's remarriage--certainly not some multi-millionaire's festivity! I remember reading that the Playboy mansion is kinda nasty with worn/dingy carpet that shoulda been replaced sometime in the 90s, at least!
DeleteIs she on DeathWatch?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the bride wore vanilla perfume
ReplyDeleteYou win!
DeleteHahaha. That's great.
DeleteWhile I can't remember who was talking about how low class vanilla notes can be, that comment made me laugh!!
DeleteHahahaha omg perfect!
Delete@ rejected, love it! Hahaha!!!
DeleteYou are on today @Rejected! Between this and the Lohans as the Gilmore Girls gone wrong, you are killing me!
Delete*slowly puts down Santa Maria Novella Vanilla perfume* ;)
DeleteOoohhh, do you think Dr. Phil's son is just waiting in the wings for Hugh to croak, so he and Crystal can share that sweet Playboy money, and make sweet sweet luv in the grotto? And then, just like in a Lifetime movie, she dumps Phil Jr. right after Hef's funeral?
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ReplyDeleteChilie, I know you're right, but it's more fun to think about it in a Lifetime sort of way (at least to me) :-). The reality is far too pathetic to be very entertaining.
DeleteI really don't understand why Hef even bothers? Being married to her can't be any less lonely than not being married.
ReplyDeleteDo we know if they signed a pre-nup? I remember for the original wedding Hef said there wouldn't be one!
ReplyDeleteI totally forgot about that. Hopefully after the runaway bride stunt he changed his mind. Although, I think he's just a figure head now. The daughter runs Playboy,but some company owns it.
DeleteI honestly don't think he cares what she did... "yep, she's a skank who left me at the altar, she's only after my $$ and talked sh*t about me to anyone who would listen... I'm an 86 year old wrinkly old perv who gets to sleep with a 20 something hot blond "
ReplyDeleteI love Playboy gossip! I hope Hef is happy, although I prefer Holly to Crystal. I've been in his company several times. He's really a gentleman and very generous. Total opposite of Alec Baldwin.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I prefer Holly over Crystal any day. I hope there is an iron clad prenup and will in place.
DeleteDefinitely. Hef isn't stupid. I am almost certain that Crystal won't be getting a damn thing. I think Hef just wants to be married in the last years of his life.
DeleteFucking gross - both of them.
ReplyDeleteYUK
ReplyDeleteAm I the only person who doesn't buy the whole Hugh Hefner persona? I think all of this is a sham for the Playboy brand. There's no way these women sleep with that old bag of bones. No way.
ReplyDeleteFrufra - Dying over your description of the mansion decor. SO true.
She gets to play with old man balls. Hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteI don't understand these two. So shady!
ReplyDeleteHugh looks awful happy. I think he's smart enough to not be taken for anything he doesn't want her to have. I say if she makes him happy, go for it--and if she outlasts him, hope she gets well paid for her trouble.
ReplyDeleteThey both know what they are doing--nobody is fooling anyone so I say go for it.
Hopefully this is Dr Phil's single son, not the one married to the blond triplet?
I'm baffled at why he's getting married at the age of 86...? Is it a looking at the other side thing? Making right before he kicks the bucket, in case there is someone/thing (insert deity of choice) he may be accountable to? He's been *living* the carefree-boink-anything-under-age-25 life for decades.
ReplyDeleteBahaha I bet she thinks she is getting everything when he dies and that is why she did it. Little does she know, like Chilie said, his kids are going to get everything from Playboy.
ReplyDeleteBut if they're happy, eh, who am I to judge. I guess some people like playing with balls that feel like kiwis that have been left out on the counter for far to long and have begun to sink in on themselves and get all squishy and gross.
Ugh, the decor in that mansion needs to go! I've been obsessing over pinterest & diy blogs the past few days and I barely noticed the happy couple (smirk) because I'm thinking about what color I would paint the walls and stairwell.
ReplyDelete@ JSierra, eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww, that image, lol
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's the power of a 26 year old pu***. Maybe this one got him good and convinced him to marry her... Although, I do hope there's a prenup...
omg it looks like the crypt keeper just got married!
ReplyDeleteTimebob- title or no, you'll always be mayor
DeleteWhere did the title go?
DeleteAgreed! @timebob you will always be CDaN mayor to me ;)
DeleteI love your calmness in the storm of estrogen!
There goes the Barbi Benton reunion I was hoping for, she was the best of all his girlfriends.
ReplyDeleteBarbi is not a very nice person, so I'm glad Hef didn't reunite with her. I'll leave it at that. :)
DeleteI think you need to dish greenmountaingal!!! :)
DeleteI think there would be lineups of women who would rent themselves out in a salaried way at the Playboy Mansion. Sadly enough, I think there are probably girls who grow up with exactly that dream. They think it will make them famous, and at the very least, catch a rich husband.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that one of Tony Robbins' goals in life had been to marry a Playboy bunny, so I guess there are two sides to that.
It's pretty empty though -- what the hell would Hefner and Crystal have to talk about? You have to get out of bed sometime....
If I were he, I would at least want the girl to be a nurse...
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she has a "nurse" uniform. And instead of giving Hef his Viagra he gets a sleeping pill.
DeleteWell, it's about time that whippersnapper settled down.
ReplyDeleteI think it's more of a contractual arrangement. Hef gets to be seen with a pretty girl on his arm and she gets some security. I've never really believed his stud persona. Even his friends say that a hot night for him is a card game and some old movies. He doesn't party anymore and at times the mansion has been a glorified sorority house. If it works for them, it's ok with me.
ReplyDeleteGreenMtGal: Spill it girl! You obviously have some insider knowledge.
ReplyDeleteI really liked Holly better than Crystal too. And no way in Hell will this chick get it all. Hef is generous and will give her something but the lion's share will go to his boys and his daughter Christie.
Everyone remember he has a daughter too...Who, by the way, I saw pick her nose in first class when I was a flight attendant. Truly Christie was the one who brought the sagging Playboy empire back to it's former glory years ago.
I do have insider knowledge, but I can't get into most of it. I will say that Hef is very nice, very smart and a good guy. I've spent a lot of time in his company (not as a girlfriend), and I only have have good things to say about him.
DeleteBarbi Benton is a good actress - she does come off as nice, but is not. Sometimes people keep someone around because that person looks good.
@Sherry you are right about Christie. She brought Playboy back from the brink of extinction. But picking her nose? Eeewww!
The Mansion parties are a lot of fun. And yes, the Mansion does need a decorating update.
@greenmountaingal, have you seen Barbi's house in which she had a hand in a lot of the designing and decorating? It is the most god-awful thing I have ever seen..,when I saw her give her televised "house tour," I did not end up with a positive impression of her.
DeleteYessss....hideous. She should stick to modeling.
DeleteChystal is the new Anne Nicole Smith ... right Enty????
ReplyDeleteGa-ross!
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, at least Holly did seem to love him. This chick thinks she's on the Anna Nicole train, but is in for a surprise.
Ugh, that so called mansion!! Hef is like the male Miss Haversham. Creepy and gross. And her? If you told me she was sleeping on the bus station floor last week, i would believe you!!
ReplyDeleteI see they spared no expense on decoration...
ReplyDeleteI only heard of nice things about Barbi, she seemed pretty genuine anytime I saw her being interviewed and she was with Hef a long time so he must have not had a problem with her. I could not believe she is in her 60's now LOL.
ReplyDelete@greenmountaingal, unfortunately I agree with you that some people are kept around because of their looks...
ReplyDeleteAnd because you said he's a smart guy I'll believe he has a prenup...
Michael K's take on this photo had me giggle-snorting at my desk!
ReplyDeletePS Hef always liked Kendra more than Holly (or Bridget - yuck) but Kendra wasn't willing to do what Holly did, and that's why she wasn't girlfriend #1. I'll leave the details up to your imagination. ;)
ReplyDelete@ greenmountaingal, loving the inside info!
ReplyDelete@greenmountaingirl, love the dish! I did think while watching the girls next door (don't judge me) that every time Barbi Benton was on she seemed genuinely jealous of the younger girls in Hef's life.
ReplyDeleteOh she is. Much of her attitude stems from the fact that she was never a Playmate of the Month.
DeleteHe was smart enough to change his ways once he realized the girls would get what they want and leave. So instead of buying a car outright he'd lease it until they left. I'm absolutely positive she won't be getting much. He remained married to his ex wife, who lives right by him, for eons. He's an incredibly generous man if you consider these "girlfriends" as employees who get paid. The job requires you to be home at a certain time, do certain things, in exchange for a pay check.
ReplyDeleteI was under the impression, and could be wrong, that the women in Hefs life are there by arraignment. They get the publicity, hair and clothing designers and a place to live while he gets beautiful women at his beck and call.
ReplyDeleteHef is allegedly and old man but well preserved, a decent guy. He has a pretty good head on his shoulders about the girls. He would as there have been several decades of them.
I am pretty sure that Holly really wanted to marry him and had a hard time sharing him. He did not feel the same.
thanks guys, i'll be over at the bar with Mayor McCheese for drinks but never fear when shit hits the fan Mayor timebob will be here!
ReplyDeleteTuxedo Cat - Now you've got me wondering what their conversations would be like. Here's what I imagine:
ReplyDeleteHef: "So, this one day I was at the club with Frank and Bing..."
Crystal: "Bing? Ugh, Google is so much better."
@Zeeky
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHA!!! Totally! There are about 3 generation gaps in there....
One thing I cannot get through my head is that this woman dated Dr. Phil's son! Of all the least likely families to wind up associated with?
If Hugh Hefner were a nice 86 year old man with a regular pension would she be marrying him? No effing way.
@rejectedcarebear
ReplyDeleteYes, I'll just bet she did.
Hugh Hefner Got Married?? Hugh Cares.
ReplyDelete