Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Jennifer Aniston Is Getting Married - For Real This Time

As much as I hate Kneepads, they do serve a purpose. After years of pulling them out and wearing them out for Jennifer Aniston, their hard work and dedication and superior kissing butt skills have got them a cover that says Jennifer is getting married after her latest movie wraps. Since no one will notice she is in it anyway and will probably be better off without her, she should just get married now. She could use the positive publicity boost and Brad Pitt's parents are going to need time to make arrangements to be there. Maybe bring the grandkids. Really put a smile on Jen's face.

48 comments:

  1. Will we be sending a group gift?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Agent - ha! And good morning, too!

      Delete
  2. I'll chip in a dollar for the gift!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol@Agent-my check's in the mail!

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Agent- Lol will you take an I.O.U?

    ReplyDelete
  5. My favorite - will you take a third party, out of state check, Agent?

    It was a hilarious joke, back when people knew what a third party out of state check was:-( . If I was on twitter:#old.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uncle Buck!! I still use that line every chance I get!

      Delete
  6. Good for her! Maybe that's why she's not eating lunch with co-workers--too much time spent wedding planning in her trailer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Karen, I thought the same thing!!

      Good for her. Next up is more baby bump sightings.

      I'm really starting to hate the words "baby bump". Thank goodness for a KFree month - I saw the magazine cover of them in Paris and GAG.

      Delete
    2. @Karen, I agree. Baby bump used to have some meaning . They used it when the pregnancy stage was so early, it barely showed. Now, it's being used to refer to any time before labor! What's next? "She's in her Manatee month. It should be anytime now...?" Will the 1st trimester start to be referred to as "baby bloat" to tell it apart from "Bump"? It's so demeaning.

      Delete
  7. You do realize that she won't actually eat with us at the guest tables right?
    In fact she will will go off by herself for most of the wedding, and just return for the receiving line and the gifts. But you must bow and kiss her ring first, and only speak if she talks to you first to ask a question.
    Anybody who doesn't abide by these guidelines will be rough-handed out the back servants entrance by the bodyguards. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you must not turn your back on her. Whilst departing, you must back away respectfully.

      Delete
  8. @Karen - good point. Apparently the wedding will be soon after she wraps on her current movie, which is scheduled to wrap March 8. Any woman with an upcoming wedding would be busy with arrangements.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Jamie 2, I'm spending a lot of time on mine and it's probably going to cost 1/10th or 1/100th of what hers will. Even if she has a wedding planner, she would be spending tons of time finalizing details.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Karen, when I was planning my wedding it took up so much time I didn't even think I had. Every weekend was a different venture but now that it's all over I kind if miss it. Good luck on everything for your big day!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tired of hearing about her. Old news, terrible actress. Couldn't care less if she's getting married or having a baby. Go away.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Enty!!!! Please spill as to what Jennifer Aniston has done to you, for you loathe her way too much to not have something be behind this hatred!

    ReplyDelete
  13. @LottaColada, thank you! We have a little less than three months to go AND we just closed on a house last week--busy busy. I can't tell you how many hours it took just to decide on the invitation wording--can you imagine planning a wedding that some of the wealthiest people in the world will attend? She's gotta be under some stress.

    Sidenote, I'd love it if Brad Pitt's parents did come to JA's wedding. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Karen - Congratulations! My best advice to you is to seriously, seriously budget to have a professional wedding coordinator there to handle everything on the actual day. Do not leave it up to a bridesmaid or relative. A pro will have everything running smoothly, so that you and your wedding party can actually ENJOY the wedding day. It will be one of the best things you ever budget for your wedding.

    @Lotta - my wife was getting her double Masters Degree at the time, so I planned our entire wedding. I just got all of her dreams and ideas, then gave her three choices for everything. It ended up being better than she could have imagined. The only thing that I didn't have anything to do with was her actual wedding dress. Never saw it or her until she stepped out of the limo to walk down the aisle. (We got married outside, at a beautiful setting, so limo had to drive up to the end of the outdoor "church/aisle" for her to make the entrance). She didn't cry at the wedding - I'm the one who cried when I saw her, she looked so beautiful. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm with @Jessi! Why won't you tell us, or at least hint to us why you hate her so much. You are more mean spirited in your posts about her than you are in posts about Oscar Pistorius. She must have killed somebody you love, or something.

    I will never understand this kind of hate for somebody. Even if they were rude to you once or twice. It is disappointing as I usually enjoy this blog but when a JA post comes up, I know I am going to be reading some viscous words from enty and the commenters. It makes me haz the sads.

    I feel the same thing about Anne Hathaway, btw. You guys are all so mean to her just because she is earnest and annoying. Can't you just roll your eyes and be done with it? Why y'all gotta be so damn mean?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Maybe we can all go in on a shotgun for a wedding present. How soon is she getting married?

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Karen, wow congrats on the house! We had the most trouble with the wording of the invitations! My husband's father passed away when he was a toddler and was raised by a stepfather but his father's family is still very much a part of his life and we didn't want to offend anyone. It was so stressful but when you try to please everyone it never works out. Go with whatever makes you and your husband to be happy.

    @Xander- I'm getting all teary reading your description! Finally some men who aren't afraid to admit their sincere emotions for their partners! That was a wonderful thing for you to step up and take the reigns. My husband was very involved with the decision process of pretty much everything as well. Except for the dress of course. Our favorite thing to do was the food and cake tastings! Man, I would love to do that just for fun again.

    ReplyDelete
  18. She looks happy. Good for her and maybe now these stupid rumors about secret hook-ups with Brad will finally stop.

    The only thing I'm only mildly interested in is if Victor Kiriakis will walk her down the aisle.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I highly recommend what my hubby and i did 43 years ago. Drove over to courthouse with parents and available sibs and got married. Out for lunch and done. Not everyone was happy, but hubby and i were.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Good for her, I hope she's happy. If anything, Kate Middleton should send her a note of thanks for making the paps back off for a week.
    Then again, KK is probably leaving a bag full of poop on her doorstep as we speak.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Bitch bought a fricking house with a vineyard in Bel Air last year. Ju$tin i$ hitting the jackpot!

    Remember when she married Pitt, they released ONE photo after the wedding? Guarantee she will be far less discreet this time around.

    ReplyDelete
  22. @Xander, that's so cool that you planned it! My fiance has been very good about helping when I ask and it is MUCH appreciated.

    @califblondy, Victor Kiriakis was great, but not as great as Stefano DiMera. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Basically Jennifer Aniston has one thing to sell, this 'Poor Jen' will-she-or-won't-she-find-Mr-Right story. Maybe two things, if you include will-she-or-won't-she-get pregnant, although menopause will kill that one off pretty soon, or at least change it into will-she-or won't she hire a surrogate/adopt.

    Bottom line: a happily-married, happily childless Jennifer Aniston provides not very much to write about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Personally I think she didnt want kids to begin with and is just too cowardly to admit it. Betty White admitted that she didnt want to be a mother and it didnt hurt her career one damn bit. I am so scik of Jackassinton's media manipulation.

      Delete
  24. @auntliddy: My ex and I did the same thing! Got married during lunchtime at the local courthouse, went straight back to our respective jobs immediately afterwards. I am cripplingly shy and would never make it down the aisle with everybody staring at me.

    Also, we were incredibly broke at the time. The entire "wedding" cost $60.

    @Karen, not in any way knocking your plans for your big day; you're doing it the normal way. I hope you have a lovely day.

    ReplyDelete
  25. @auntliddy: We had a no-fuss wedding, too. We weren't getting any younger and preferred to spend the money on a house and having a baby right away. 21 years happily married.

    ReplyDelete
  26. @Jamie 2, no offense taken. My parents did a courthouse wedding too, and they've been married nearly 38 years. There have been times though the process where I've thought that there way was much easier! :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. We went to the court house in matching cowboy boots and jeans. It was heaven and still is. Compatibility, folks, along with financial clarity and you'll have a rewarding marriage. But I still want to be the flower girl when EmEyeKay gets married.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ahh Congrats Karen!

    The only advice I can give you is, remember, something always pops up, and there might be a small glitch. No worries if it does, and treat your reception like the party it is. A wonderful party full of people wishing you two a lifetime of happiness, so enjoy!!

    One more thing.. the very first time you say something like "Where is my Husband" or "there is my Husband" you will giggle like a school girl and remember that moment with such fondness for the rest of your life!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Xander: That was sooooo sweet! Love your description of your wife. I hope you two are happy forever.

    I parrot the wedding planner idea. Wished I had someone there to make it all go smoothly. AND wished I'd listened to my friends who told me to get another caterer. Mine was horrid and I am a total foodie.

    And our invites were a total hit! We asked people to donate to some of our favorite charities or one of their own rather than spend $$ on us. (Although the Opster wasn't as keen on it as I was.) However as we had been living together 7 years it would have been ridiculous to give us gifts.

    We were able to do a wedding with 100 people and honeymoon for under $5K.

    Oh yeah Jennifer..Good luck this time out!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Another vote for minimal weddings: 22 years ago, a justice of the peace (and her husband as witness) met us in the riverfront park in Napa. We also had a celebration and dinner later for 20 close family and friends in Yountville. Great memories from both events.

    I wonder if anyone ever regretted spending too little on a wedding!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I always remember an ad in my building years ago: for sale: wedding dress, worn once by mistake. Laughed my ass off.

    I'd contribute to the wedding gift for Jen but she probably wouldn't accept Canadian $....

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. @Agent - actually a very small spoon would be much more appreciated by her, and certainly be her most useful gift!
    ;-)
    (sorry, couldn't resist)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are correct, Xander. It should have read:the The Big Wooden Fork and Small Spoon set.

      Delete
  34. I'll chip in two mud crusted pennies, a wooden nickel, and a three dollar bill with a pacifier sucking Bill Clinton's picture on it for the gift.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Now the big question...What will she do with her hair? I'll scream if she wears The Rachel down the aisle.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I wonder if he'll invite the stylist who dyes his eyebrows for him.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I was looking at the pics of the Oscar noms/winners and I saw the one down the bottom and thought 'Why is RuPaul so pale? And kissing an Oscar?'

    Then I was horrified to realise it was Adele.

    RE: Jen, I will not believe she is getting married until there is a wedding band on her finger and wedding pics.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm happy for them. Mazel!

    ReplyDelete
  39. and don't forget, no eye contact, from anyone! and Ramone Love, I love your name.

    ReplyDelete

Advertisements

Popular Posts from the last 30 days