Monday, March 07, 2016

Today's Blind Items - Back In The Day/Old Hollywood

This star has faded somewhat. His career spanned decades -- TV, films, nightclubs mostly. He has sung in the past but is not really remembered as a serious recording artist.

Along with his famous A+ friends, he used to take to the stage and entertain people. He was an internationally famous star. So a charitable organization in Toronto decided it would ask this comedian to perform on stage to raise money for a charity.

The multi-talented star demanded $50,000 for one night, and the charity agreed. A date was set. Tickets sold out in no time. A chauffeur, was hired to go to the airport and pick up the living legend, and so he did.

Now, it was well known that this living legend had a long-time battle with alcoholism, and on this night, alcohol seemed to be winning. The chauffeur arrived at the airport in plenty of time and drove to the gate where he was told to go.

He parked, and waited in the driver's seat, just as he was supposed to.

The private jet pulled in to where the limousine was waiting. The jet's door opened.

Time passed.

No one came out of the jet.

More minutes passed. The driver double-checked. Was he at the right gate? Should he stand outside the limousine? Maybe he should've made a sign -- after all, perhaps another celebrity was arriving, and he'd gone to the wrong place to pick him up.

More time passed. People went into the jet, and they came out flustered, panicky even. But the star did not emerge.

On the tarmac, there was increasing agitation. The concert was scheduled for eight o'clock pm, and it was now past dinnertime. Some important-looking airport personnel were scurrying back and forth, going in and out of the plane.

The star had not emerged.

Maybe he was sick... or worse.

THEN ANOTHER LIMO pulled into the area and parked right alongside the other limo. And to his "shock and awe," two mob guys emerged and stormed into the plane.

By now, the driver was chilled to the bone and just wanted to get out of there with his passenger and none of the mob guys.

More mom guys emerged from the neighboring limo. The ones from the plane met the new arrivals on the tarmac. nstead of all getting into their limo, they got into the one driven by the scared driver.

"He's drunker than f---," said one.

"Drunk? That don't even BEGIN to describe it. He's three sheets to the f--king wind," said another.

This went on for a minute or two, and then the senior mob guy said,

"I don' care who this (BLEEP) is, I don't care where he comes from. But we paid this (-------) fifty f--king grand to come down here and perform, and if he isn't there on time, he ain't goin' home."

 

"Take him outta the plane and go to the hotel. Try and sober him up. He'd better put on a show."

Finally -- this was after seven pm, a couple of mob guys carried the A+lister out of the plane and dumped him in the limo and joined the A+ lister in the limo.

Not only did the star sober up, he actually "snapped out of it" and proceeded to give that audience the best three-hour show of their lives. He was funny. He sang songs. He told stories and chatted with the audience members. They loved it. The charity event raised a lot of money for their sick kids and everyone was happy.

 


38 comments:

  1. MontanaMarriott2:11 AM

    Jerry Lewis?

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  2. Tricia132:11 AM

    Jerry Lewis

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  3. Tricia132:11 AM

    +1
    :)

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  4. Derek Harvey2:12 AM

    jerrylewis

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  5. sandybrook2:13 AM

    Jerry Lewis

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  6. My favorite typo EVER on this site: "mom guys"

    Agree with everyone saying Jerry Lewis

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  7. So the Toronto charity was really a mom front?!

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  8. cebii2:39 AM

    + another one

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  9. Snarknado2:41 AM

    Dean Martin, just so he's not left out in the cold again when Jerry is mentioned, lol.

    I worked the telethons as a teen, so I got free tics to Jerry's "concerts"--(don't know what else to call them), but when I saw him it was 90% performance art and skits, and he sang very few songs, maybe two or three.

    Anyone volunteering for the MDA, plus patients+ their families, always got the rows upfront. You couldn't buy a ticket for those prime seats because he wanted them set aside for his Kids.

    One time, someone fell asleep and loudly snored through the last half hour. He did a whole bit about it that had the audience roaring with laughter and the guy snored right through it.

    This blind may be about Jerry, but I wanted you to know he really does have a heart of gold. Maybe a pickled heart, but it's real, all the same.

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  10. Kno Won Uno2:43 AM

    +++++++++++11111111111111111
    Also what, exactly, is "dinnertime" relative to 8:00 PM?

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  11. Simon2:48 AM

    Going out on a limb..Tennessee Ernie ford

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  12. Snarknado2:52 AM

    Also, some of the finest US doctors specializing in MD and the other 42 neuromuscular diseases, have immigrated to Toronto. The US has had so many restrictions, like the stem cell ban by Bush, etc., that its lost a lot of its best research facilities to other countries.

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  13. Snarknado2:54 AM

    Or Sinatra. Too obvs? Tiny Tim?

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  14. CrashDiego3:03 AM

    This reads like horrendous fan fiction.

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  15. lemon swizzle3:17 AM

    I highly recommend the podcast YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS . . . it's fantastic, and so many juicy, gossipy Old Hollywood stories.

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  16. Cinabun4:18 AM

    +2
    Enty still needs an editor, but @ least this one's funny. :-)

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  17. Cinabun4:20 AM

    + infinity
    True w/ MS + other non-neuro diseases (emphysema and cancer as well).

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  18. Addison DeWitt4:53 AM

    LEMON: I listen to that podcast, too. Does the narrator's voice get on your last nerve?

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  19. Lurky McLurkster4:56 AM

    I sure would be scared is a bunch of "mom guys" stormed my plane.

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  20. Dutch5:16 AM

    I am more afraid of moms than the mob. Do you know how crazy some of these PTA housewives are? It's scary.

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  21. Emeraldcity6:23 AM

    I have a vision of 10 Mrs Doubtfires storming the plane with granades and AKAs

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  22. thebutlerdidit7:25 AM

    Odd you would say that, because I've repeatedly heard differently, regarding embryonic vs adult stem cell. I have a number of friends/family that work here in ATL at the CDC & whenever that topic has come up, they've all agreed unanimously that adult stem cells ES cells are genetically unstable in long term culture, and are especially prone to chromosomal abnormalities and require extensive manipulation & genetic modifications. Can you tell me more about what they're doing in CA & how they've reached the conclusion the ESS are superior? I try to keep up to date on new scientific procedures and for some reason, get a bit geeky over this stuff. Thanks!

    Oh, and Jerry Lewis, about to celebrate his 90th birthday on March 16th. The only reason I remember his birthday, is because we share the day.

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  23. lemon swizzle11:12 AM

    No, I love her voice! I find it soothing! How funny! But the stories are great, non?

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  24. Snarknado1:16 PM

    It is strange that we have come together about this on a gossip site, so it must be meant to happen! I'll dive right in:
    MDA researchers in Ottawa, published in Nature Medicine on November 16, 2015, are the first to show that Duchenne muscular dystrophy directly affects muscle stem cells. - http://www.muscle.ca/research/research-news/#sthash.TnJoEyFa.dpufhave
    In the UK: Researchers developed a new approach using genome editing in stem cells that could potentially be used as a treatment for Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

    I'm going to have to split this into several posts pr else it will go into moderation for having multiple links.

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  25. Snarknado1:20 PM

    The original paper with 57 links:
    http://www.nature.com/nm/journal/v21/n12/full/nm.3990.html
    The research was dune in Germany, Switzerland and Ottawa, Canada

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  26. Snarknado1:21 PM

    UK research news: http://www.musculardystrophyuk.org/news/news/research/

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  27. Snarknado1:23 PM

    US research:http://quest.mda.org/categories/research/research-updates

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  28. Snarknado1:37 PM

    As Cinabun seconded, the US is not cutting edge anymore. But other countries are taking those big research bucks and doing a great job! Kudos to them!

    Sorry to high jack this thread, CDaNers, but I had to do right by my fellow geek.

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  29. Snarknado1:43 PM

    Or Caitlyn Jenners. You couldn't outrun them.

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  30. Jonathan Andrew Sheen1:03 AM

    And the moral of the story is, this guy was a true professional. Everybody else was crapping bricks, but he delivered, on time and in great form.

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  31. UpMyOwnArse6:52 AM

    Joey Bishop.

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  32. UpMyOwnArse6:53 AM

    Red Buttons.

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  33. UpMyOwnArse6:53 AM

    Georgie Jessel.

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  34. UpMyOwnArse6:53 AM

    Myron Cohen.

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  35. UpMyOwnArse6:54 AM

    Jack Carter.

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  36. UpMyOwnArse6:54 AM

    Shecky Greene.

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  37. so far my favorite blind of this year...
    like "mom guys" sense of humor too...

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  38. talldark&handsome1:44 PM

    I want to say Sammy Davis ,Jr. The Organization the March of Dimes. I know he is Mr.Entertaiment and more known as a song and dance man. But in reading some of these blinds, the info is often twisted. I know it might not be correct , but a few things are sticking out in this post. It's the description of the entertainer by the mob guys.

    “I don’ care who this (BLEEP) is, I don’t care where he comes from. But we paid this (——-) fifty f–king grand to come down here and perform, and if he isn’t there on time, he ain’t goin’ home.”

    It strikes me as something racially derogatory ( i.e. the N word- I hate that word by the way)

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