Today's Blind Items - K.K.I.T

You say it like the passcode to a ninja lair, lurching your head coolly, casually - a little to the left: kkeet. But this isn't like other celebrity non-profits and foundations. You see: those were almost universally founded for one of two specific reasons, or both. The first is to lure barely legals into their midst. So, the back in the day think tanks and meditation institutes by folk singers and poets, and more recently the scholarships for young female filmmakers and Valley orgs encouraging college kids to drop out and make fortunes. The second is to launder the reputations of the benefactors who engage in worser things: I mean, even the dead and convicted traffickers gave money to NGOs opposed to...trafficking. 

But this one has a different purpose, and it's mooching...rent money.

I think you can guess who the founder is: an actor with more than one credit, but known almost exclusively for his performance on the stand. Some of the fellows are people you can guess too, including the one screen cousin, as well as more recently the tough guy turned soon-to-be unhoused person. 

What is their aim?

In the annals of celebrity not for profits, it's actually quite noble, at least because it's practical, and doesn't involve the violation of anyone (except for maybe the well off foreign donors who want a foothold in Hollywood, and this is apparently the best they can do). What does it involve? AI of a certain kind - the kind that's been around for decades. And chances are if you live in LA, and are a fan of poolside living - like the fellows - you've owned one, or at least operated one in the course of your reduced rent obligations. 

The technology was already sufficiently advanced that tinkering with it might produce actually amazing results: a robot that could chase the children in the sprinklers, barking and growling with the charm of 70s voiceover dogs, humping your leg annoyingly. But much like a secret menu at the hamburger stand, this "dog" will have secret features. The one comedian, known mostly for being a husband, suggested a feature for adults while visiting the institute. So when this comes out just know that it can also pleasure women the way the pool boy does, or men whose wives have left them for...the pool boy. 

But, of course, why can't you find it online. The answer is simple: you could, up until a decade or so ago. But faced with diminishing donations for poolside living + R&D, the organization went analog, sending out glossy quarterly magazines with copious back yard pictures of the fully undressed and recently unhoused - most all of them real or would be sub-B list celebs. And of course robots in compromising positions. I hear it's earned them a fortune.

One day, everyone will have or at least live in a cabana.