She did it. She got herself knocked up and is going to spawn. I am going gun shopping at lunch to find something that will end my life quickly and painlessly. Can't handle her being pregnant for the next nine months. Just can't. Every day will be just about her and only her. What if the gun misfires though and it leaves me in a vegetative state where the only thing that is in my mind is this photo of her and I have to live with it, never moving staring at me for the rest of my life. Oh, the horror.
Please tell me I'm wrong and that the stories and whispers I am hearing today are my imagination. Please tell me no one would be willing to enter there without a hefty bag for their protection. Please, oh, please make it go away. Make the voices stop.
She can't let Nicole have all the attention with little Harlow.
ReplyDeleteIf it is true, I don't want to hear about it 24/7
her publicist says its not true..for now
ReplyDeletefood baby? hope. pray.
ReplyDeleteUnless she is bloated and needs to fart it looks like she is preggo. That dress really shows some kind of bump.
ReplyDeleteHold on, I have to close my windows. It's raining blood.
ReplyDeletebreathe enty breathe... did she blow up over night? cause she did not have a bump at the mtv awards...
ReplyDeleteThe thought of her procreating makes me ill - she kills her fricking dogs left and right because she forgets about them - how the HELL can she ever think about having a child...
What's that "fool the paps" show on MTV? Maybe they're filming new episodes?
ReplyDeleteshe knows exactly how she looked in that dress - the smug smile is giving it away. I suspect she's sticking her stomach out, just to increase the effect. With that said, she is absolutely the type that would get herself knocked up to compete with Nicole. I don't think it's true though. The thought of her spawning is too much to bear.
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, then I fully expect to see Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse galloping down my street shortly.
ReplyDeleteAnd spawning with THAT guy? I'm sorry, does anyone here find him good looking at all? And is it just me or is he Nicole's hubby's twin or something? Spencer and Heidi make 3 million a year and the simple life is breeding? Does anyone else hear the Twilight Zone music?
ReplyDeletegod hates us.
ReplyDeletedon't worry EL if you end up in a vegetative state we'll blame it on not wearing a seatbelt.
emily- wtf??? yes they are twins..lol.
ReplyDeletehere's the beelzebub's minion w/out spawn belly at the mtv awards on Sunday
ReplyDeletewww.justjared.buzznet.com/gallery/photos.php?yr=2008&mon=06&evt=paris-movie&pic=paris-hilton-mtv-movie-awards-2008-04.jpg
Joke's on her. She's at a difficult age (rising 30, I think?) Pregnancy will age her; she's starting to look like her mother already.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she borrowed Nicole Kidman's bump for the photo.
ReplyDeleteOh adrian, I hope it's Kidman's pillow, or Kutcher's lousy prank skills.
ReplyDelete...Otherwise, I'm going to have to jack myself up on Xanax and Kahlua and lock myself in the house just so that I don't march down to my local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end my own life in a blaze of glory..... Ha ha ha!! Kidding. Please, don't sent ATF over....
Oh, let it be fake, fake, fake fake.
I never thought she would breed, with the possibility of ruining her figure and a stretched out vagina, oh wait, that probably was never a real concern. This is the only way she will get attention here, it's a smart move on her part, now magazines will be forced to document her nine months and how it is changing her life, wait, I thought prison was supposed to have done that, make her a better person...oh well, prison, kiddo...something has to work, right?
ReplyDeleteHow in the hell could Benji Madden do this to us!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm boycotting his band as of now. It's relatively easy for me considering that I never listened to them anyway.
Like the previous poster, I'm shutting my window now, because I'm sure the sky is going to start dripping blood any moment.
If there ever was a day to consider suicide, today is definitely that day considering this frickin' picture.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh, *I* get it -- it's partly jealousy of Nicole Richie and Halle, but also a pre-emptive strike before the other Nicole, Brangelina's twins and Cash Warren-and-what's-her-name's kids arrive.
ReplyDeleteBetcha she's negotiating the pic rights already. And when she gets more baby gifts than the British royal family, will she give them to charity? Oh, hell to the no. She'll send them to a consignment shop and keep the cash.
She doesn't take care of her animals you think she will take care of her babies.
ReplyDeleteCome on, Ent. Everybody else is doing it. You know that's the reason to have a child.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm sure the b/f is wearing protection 'cause deep down he doesn't wanna be attached to THAT all his life.
And because we all know if it was left up to Paris, well, she doesn't know where babies come from. Someone probably told her that if you put a pillow under your clothes for 9 months you can have a baby.
Here's to hoping that it's a bad I.B.S. flareup (which I sincerely do not wish on anyone, well, except maybe for Flaris here...)
ReplyDeleteno way. just like nude nicole preg photo spread....not gonna happen.
ReplyDeleteI hope if there is a baby she names it Mr. Biggles.
ReplyDeletethere is absolutely no way this woman will carry a child to term any time soon.
ReplyDeleteshe would NEVER give up her coke binges, tequila shots and bulimic tendencies - NEVER.
wear a fake bump for press? HELL YES. have a baby? no way.
Also -- does she think that if she has a baby and maybe even gets married before her grandfather dies, he'll cut the baby a chunk of his estate in a new will?
ReplyDeletedear enty,
ReplyDeleteif she is indeed pregnant, will you promise not to write about it? because just the possibility that she is pregnant -- and the thought of six months of paris-rubbing-her-belly shots -- is making my eyeballs bleed.
thank you.
love,
bippy
when Benji and Joel's mother got pregnant, I guess J got the "hot gene" and B got the "not hot gene"
ReplyDeleteBrenda:
ReplyDeletefor sure. Benji got the "Boy George Impersonator" gene....
Paris does strike me as the kind of person to think, "Ooh, publicity/baby picture money" but she does not strike me as the kind of person to actually want a baby.
ReplyDeleteOddly I'm not completely icked by the concept of her having one, because I would expect that the child will immediately be passed off onto a nanny, which would be the best thing for the kid and indeed, for the world...locking dogs in closets while you're gone for days is one thing but even Paris surely has enough sense to know that you can't neglect a baby like that.
I AM however icked by the idea that a baby = publicity and the subsequent wave of baby-bump/fake 'me and my bundle of joy' pics that PH would no doubt have set up. The time it takes to set up those shots is the amount of time total that Paris would spend with the kid.
I wouldn't think Paris had that much stomach to push out that far.
ReplyDeleteIt is actually raining here, I must step outside and see what if falling from the sky!
kate, before you go outside...don't forget to take a Crucifix with you. Or is it garlic?
ReplyDeleteDear Ent,
ReplyDeleteWhat Bippy said.
ragdoll: best to take both...just to be on the safe side
ReplyDelete:)
please, god. please let it be a food baby.
in jesus name i pray, ahmen.