Monday, May 25, 2009

I Smell Bonnie & Clyde


Jessica Biel doesn't really care about her movie career. I think we discovered that last week when she said those statements about her beauty hurting her for roles. Well, another part of her problem is that besides being an absolutely awful actress she also picks bad roles. You can be a horrific actress as long as you find roles that suit you being awful. Jessica Alba has made quite the living with that whole comic book character thing. Lots of money and no acting skills required.

Well, now Jessica really wants to put the stamp of mediocrity on her career. In an interview with Parade Magazine, Jessica says that she would love to star in a movie with Justin Timberlake. Oh wow. That would be awful. I swear the first thing I thought of when I read it was that what this world really needs is another Bonnie & Clyde movie. Until Gigli came along, it seemed like everytime a famous couple wants to shoot a movie together they always find some new version of Bonnie & Clyde. It is always awful and the careers are never the same again. The only reason Alec Baldwin came back out alive from his foray into that world was that it was 20 years ago and he burned every copy.


13 comments:

  1. GOOD GOD NO...........

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  2. don't hate, enty! we need another gigli to make us appreciative of the good stuff when it's released. plus it'd be interesting to watch jessilake go the way of bennifer 1.0, non?

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  3. Snort. I *bet* she'd love to star in a movie with Justin. Run JT!

    Sadly, I think they're already remaking Bonnie and Clyde with Hillary Duff as Bonnie - I know because (other than being a smuthound) Faye Dunaway is NOT impressed with the casting choice.

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  4. ooh i agree with Pookie, a shitty movie will for SURE seal the deal on that breakup.

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  5. Does she thinks she needs her "man" around so the relationship looks and sounds natural? Because that would REALLY take skills she doesn't have.

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  6. hahaha ardleigh, i swear i had the same thought...

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  7. Great idea, 'cause they've got such mad chemistry.

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  8. my thoughts exactly, moosh!

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  9. The only film these two closet-case no-acting PopTards could remake convincingly might be a musical version of "Brokeback Mountain". Or maybe "Myra Breckinridge".

    Justin's compelling star-turn in "Black Snake Moan" as a macho redneck soldier took a distant 4th place in skills behind Christina Ricci's anorexic hoochie shots.

    But with Jessica's thespian chops, the sky's the limit.

    Uhh...huh-huh.
    I said "thespian".
    Huh...huh.

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  10. He actually wasn't that bad in Alpha Dog. Granted, that's the only thing I've seen him do, but he didn't suck as much as Toby Keith in "Beer for my horses" (don't hate, House had a commercial break so I decided to check out a couple of minutes)
    It was so bad I couldn't look away.

    Learn from my mistake folks. Don't ever watch that movie.

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  11. Justin and Jessica look as believable together as Tom and Katie.

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  12. Shame she's not doing Bonnie and Clyde. The audience would cheer while she got shot.

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  13. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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