Every year for my birthday my mother buys me a World Almanac. Back in the day they were useful, but now it is easier to just Google. Before Google though those things were the best. It was like having the internet all jammed into 1,000 pages of a book.
Anyway, now for my birthday what I want is the official tabloid spin chart. I want whatever gadget they have which OK! Magazine spins every week to decide who is pregnant. I think they must have realized they have pushed the Jennifer and Angelina thing about as far as it can go because this week they say Kristen Stewart is pregnant. Apparently Robert Pattinson revealed this all backstage directly to Oprah.
Oh, and later the baby will have to, well, if you read the book you know where I am going with this. I actually think this is a very smart move on OK!'s part. No, not to make up another pregnancy story but to put Robert and Kristen on the cover. For some reason the tabloids have shied away with putting them on the cover, but if this issue sells well, look for Kristen to be pregnant more often and maybe even be hurt and losing 10 pounds in 10 days and showing off her new bikini body and how you can get one just like it.
Good, I was tired of the same old pregnant people. We needed new blood.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I don't really see Kristen Stewart playing ball with the tabloids over things like bikini bodies, and dieting. She's too surly (it looks like) for that.
ReplyDeleteShe seems like she doesn't work out so the "ideal bikini body" it's a bit far and she doesn't seem to play the tabloid/magazine game. Aniston did the whole "not cool Angelina" and I guess that when it all started.
ReplyDelete@Sue Ellen Mishkey ditto.
ReplyDeleteOh Enty-- my employer publishes World Almanac-- don't you want to buy a dozen or so?
ReplyDeleteMost celebs don't do anything for those bikini bodies features. The mag writes them and sticks a photoshopped pic on the cover.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see them try it with Kristen - she looks the type to kick their asses!
@Shannon - do they publish the Gardener's Almanac too? I couldn't find it this year...
ReplyDeleteThis was a joke they made on the show. Rob is carring the baby according to Kristen.
ReplyDeleteHa! Is it going to have a weird white trash combo name like Renesmee?
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who has thought Kristen is gay right from the get-go? As is Rob P.
ReplyDeleteI kdon't think Kristen is gay, just has bitch face. Rob is just British as in Is he gay or is he just British?
ReplyDeleteJeannies Bottle, I think they're both gay.
ReplyDeleteI don't care about either of these two, but I highly recommend watching today's Oprah - especially all you chronic dieters out there. Geneen Roth might change your life!
ReplyDelete"Oh, and later the baby will have to, well, if you read the book you know where I am going with this."
ReplyDeleteI haven't even read the books, but I know about this, and EWWWW!
Harriet: I love Geneen Roth. Once took a writing class with her, a long, long time ago. Her beliefs about dieting, food, bodies, culture, etc, were and are revolutionary. Thank you for spreading the gospel!
ReplyDeleteI think this is her second pregnancy cover. This should stir up all the Twihards on the forums for the next few weeks.
ReplyDeleteKristen is a lesbian, but Rob P. is not gay. I have it on good authority.
ReplyDelete@ Monica - my gaydar totally goes off with Kristen.
ReplyDeleteReally?? Kristen is gay?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sue Ellen, Kristin is so scowl-y that I'm not surprised it's taken this long for any real pregnancy rumors to start, and that she's usually not the subject of diet and exercise frenzies.
ReplyDeleteDid they photoshop his eyes? He looks weirder than normal.
ReplyDeleteI also get a gay vibe from Kristen, but a Euro vibe from Pattz.
Either way, I still don't care.
LOL @ Sporky
ReplyDeleteI though I read that KStew is bi?
When are they on Oprah? I need to remember to record it that day.