Ted C Blind Item

Paulie Pecker certainly doesn't get as much attention as the other folks on his funny boob-tube series. Which is a skanky shame, ‘cause while they all land the big-time tabloid covers for their incredibly Vice-lite behavior, Paulie's out there committing some hilariously horny crap.

Take, for instance, P.P.'s latest escapade at a swanky Hollywood hotel, where he had taken a broad he was hoping to bed. Paulie wasn't just DTF tho, he was also...

Hammered drunk.

Which isn't too shocking, actually—we know Paulie and his pals can booze with the best of ‘em—but P2 seemed to be sporting extra-thick beer goggles on this par-tick night.

An onlooker described Pecker's cougarific "date" as mucho older and just as plastered as Paulie, with what little clothes she was wearing already coming off when the twosome popped into the lobby.

Unfortch, the hotel was all booked up. Paulie pulled the usual "do you know who I am?" B.S. and then tried slipping some cash to the staff, but he and his lady friend were still denied a room. The drunk duo finally gave up, but while they waited for a cab to come collect them, decided they just couldn't control themselves any longer.

Yep, they started going at it right there in the lobby.

The hotel workers and a few other guests checking in were not so pleasantly surprised to see Paulie's gal straddle him as the two started making out and pulling each other's clothes off. Body parts, lots of ‘em, were exposed.

He shoved his face in her boobs for some motorboat action and she shoved her hand down his pants and things were really heating up as the clothes came off. Which is when Paulie's hump buddy decided that they should slip away to the bathroom to finish the deed.

Cue the hotel staff, who kindly told Paulie and his pal they needed to hit the road. Which they did.

And It Ain't: John Krasinski, Ty Burrell, Rob Lowe