If you thought Canyons would be the worst movie to be released in the past decade, you might be right. Judging by the trailer, it is going to be very, very bad. And when I say bad, I mean so bad, that I had to struggle through the 90 second trailer. If this movie is actually released, it could let Katherine Heigl off the hook for worst movie box office ever.
When the trailer can't feature any dialogue, OR well-lit scenes with the stars, you know it's not good.
ReplyDeleteI'm so depressed that I don't have speakers hooked up at the moment. Is this the one with her and the porn star?
ReplyDeleteThis made me LOL. Also loved the improper use of quotations throughout.
ReplyDeleteLove that "serious/scared" face in the top picture! Thats dedication to her craft!!!
ReplyDeleteRemember the old Batman TV series? It looks like the exact same guys are making porn. I kept waiting for the "Kapow!" on the screen.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, this looks like it could be a campy schlockfest like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. If it's got lots of Lohan softcore porn, it might actually make money.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I thought. It's (probably, hopefully) supposed to be ridiculous and campy.
DeleteDid people actually get paid for this?
ReplyDeleteOT, what ever happened with her Chateau Marmont bill?
Can't have anything but gutter low expectations for a movie staring a junkie and a porn star
ReplyDeleteOh, and apparently LL is going to "star" in Lady Gaga's next video.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it's about a coked up, drunk has-been.
@Amber, yes, it's LL and porn. Seriously, this looks like it should be a funny or die video!
ReplyDeleteLILO could unwittingly become the queen of Schlock
ReplyDeleteWait, LL made two movies this year? That must be up 200% from last year.
ReplyDeleteI love how the music in the trailer is trying to imply it's some type of 60's caper movie, about porn.
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ReplyDeleteIsn't Demi Moore the current holder of the worst box office ever award?
ReplyDeleteThey tried to go for that 60's movie look. Don't know, might become one of those campy movies everyone likes.
ReplyDeleteDid my nephew send this to you? He is pretty Rico Suave when it comes to that IMovie
ReplyDeleteThiz gonna be Shitacular!!
@Darkmyst - Cutthroat Island lost the most money. Zyzzyx road (Heigl) only made $30.
ReplyDeleteno way this makes it to theaters straight to dvd sounds better!
ReplyDeleteIs this for real?
ReplyDelete"Wow!" Was that a "parody" of 1950's "B" movies? Because it was so "wierd." I mean, I was just "totaly confused." Is it a "real" movie? And what about this "James Deen?" "Really?" "Not interested."
ReplyDeleteive seen alot worse......
ReplyDeletewe all have
just cause lindsay has so many haters you cant listen to most reviews
id give it a c--he looks lost
james deen is a straight "gay" porn actor who is fairly well hung-like 8-9 inches
ReplyDeletethis movie was to be his "legit" start
bret easton ellis is great and he like it so....
No, he does straight porn
DeleteYeah. He is fine.
ReplyDeleteBest LILO acting I have seen in ages ;)
(If you watch the trailer she doesn't say anything and you only see her twice or so)
CHEESY CHEESE.
ReplyDeleteawful...
The whole movie is just words on the screen. There's no actual dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI don't make fun of people's looks, just once in a while really bad plastic surgery bc thats their fault (unless I really feel bad for them or she's just a bitch who deserves it)... U know what's coming....
Lindsay is starting to look like Eric Stolz in Mask.
This looks like someone's film school senior project.
ReplyDeleteLOL @katsm0711
ReplyDeleteYou set that up perfectly.
x
i get it that the editing is supposed to be a nod to the 60s new wave & post-neo realism movement in film...but i don't know if that nod is meant in homage or as mockery. either way, your average viewer isn't going to get it.
ReplyDeletegood luck, ll.
was that supposed to be funny because I can't stop laughing
ReplyDelete@Pookie
ReplyDeleteLOL
How are you using post-neo realism here? '70's porn?
;)
Generous, you are.
The trailer looks like it's in a time warp...circa 1967
ReplyDeleteoh and it's awful...
@katsm: Really? There is no dialogue at all in the movie?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think they overused the quotes. Movies and characters do go in quotes but the "huge" was a little silly.
And yeah, it looks "Valley of the Dolls" campy.
i was one who actually liked, I know who killed me...and I loved american psycho, hardcore looks good too from what I read last night, and LL really does have legit acting chops, so I def will watch this.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like a better homage tp grindhouse movies than the movie "Grindhouse"
ReplyDeleteLike a fan made video on youtube. I think they missed their mark
ReplyDelete@OMAMA - I LOVED I Know Who Killed Me. Obviously not because it was a cinematic masterpiece, but it's so freaking fun(ny) to watch. Same with Jennifer's Body, and this other movie called Ginger Snaps.
ReplyDeleteDid they make it look awful on purpose?
ReplyDeleteuh, James Deen is not gay. Read his blog.
ReplyDeletePaul Schrader directed "The Canyons;" he isn't a raging incompetent, so I'm guessing he's going for comedy here. The whole thing could very well be a big huge misfire, but I don't see the goofiness of that trailer as being anything other than carefully chosen.
ReplyDeleteWow that looks catastrophic
ReplyDeleteI'm confused....is "The Canyons" referring to a description of Lohan's va-jay-jay????
ReplyDeleteActually - this looks like it's going to be awesome! I love the old campy flicks.
ReplyDeletePaul Schrader directed this - He's written some of the greatest movies ever - his work as a director is hit or miss - I think he's trying to go Paul Thomas Anderson/Dario Argento here and I'm not sure he pulled it off.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't going to win Lindsay that Oscar she wants sooooooo bad though.
When Kickstarter goes wrong...
ReplyDelete@ Amber - If you don't have speakers you really didn't miss much - just some cheesy bongo/beatnik music.
ReplyDeleteAnd we are surprised Why? Looks bad and stars LiLo what did everyone expect? I know she will win an award for this mess a Razzie.
ReplyDeleteoh raelynn: excellent!
ReplyDelete@Brian - LOL!
ReplyDeleteAll this film needs is Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo making cracks about it from the front row seats.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Pretzel!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how badly she's ruined her face. Ugh.
Damn .. that music had me on the look out for Annette and Frankie and a polka dotted bikini.
ReplyDelete