Crazy Days and Nights: Canyons Trailer

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Canyons Trailer

If you thought Canyons would be the worst movie to be released in the past decade, you might be right. Judging by the trailer, it is going to be very, very bad. And when I say bad, I mean so bad, that I had to struggle through the 90 second trailer. If this movie is actually released, it could let Katherine Heigl off the hook for worst movie box office ever.

53 comments:

libby said...: When the trailer can't feature any dialogue, OR well-lit scenes with the stars, you know it's not good.; 7:35 AM
Amber said...: I'm so depressed that I don't have speakers hooked up at the moment. Is this the one with her and the porn star?; 7:37 AM
Staple611 said...: This made me LOL. Also loved the improper use of quotations throughout.; 7:40 AM
Unknown said...: Love that "serious/scared" face in the top picture! Thats dedication to her craft!!!; 7:45 AM
Elizabeth said...: Remember the old Batman TV series? It looks like the exact same guys are making porn. I kept waiting for the "Kapow!" on the screen.; 7:47 AM
Not A Ninny said...: I dunno, this looks like it could be a campy schlockfest like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. If it's got lots of Lohan softcore porn, it might actually make money.; 7:47 AM
OneGirlRevolution said...: Did people actually get paid for this?

OT, what ever happened with her Chateau Marmont bill?; 7:50 AM
CrazyCatLady said...: Can't have anything but gutter low expectations for a movie staring a junkie and a porn star; 7:51 AM
OneGirlRevolution said...: Oh, and apparently LL is going to "star" in Lady Gaga's next video.

I wonder if it's about a coked up, drunk has-been.; 7:53 AM
Silly Girl said...: @Amber, yes, it's LL and porn. Seriously, this looks like it should be a funny or die video!; 7:55 AM
Seachica said...: LILO could unwittingly become the queen of Schlock; 7:58 AM
Rose said...: Wait, LL made two movies this year? That must be up 200% from last year.

I love how the music in the trailer is trying to imply it's some type of 60's caper movie, about porn.; 8:01 AM
Darkmyst said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 8:10 AM
Darkmyst said...: Isn't Demi Moore the current holder of the worst box office ever award?; 8:11 AM
All about Eve said...: They tried to go for that 60's movie look. Don't know, might become one of those campy movies everyone likes.; 8:11 AM
Sunny said...: Did my nephew send this to you? He is pretty Rico Suave when it comes to that IMovie

Thiz gonna be Shitacular!!; 8:17 AM
.robert said...: @Darkmyst - Cutthroat Island lost the most money. Zyzzyx road (Heigl) only made $30.; 8:23 AM
Unknown said...: no way this makes it to theaters straight to dvd sounds better!; 8:24 AM
chopchop said...: Is this for real?; 8:36 AM
Goober said...: "Wow!" Was that a "parody" of 1950's "B" movies? Because it was so "wierd." I mean, I was just "totaly confused." Is it a "real" movie? And what about this "James Deen?" "Really?" "Not interested."; 8:36 AM
christopher said...: ive seen alot worse......
we all have

just cause lindsay has so many haters you cant listen to most reviews

id give it a c--he looks lost; 8:47 AM
christopher said...: james deen is a straight "gay" porn actor who is fairly well hung-like 8-9 inches

this movie was to be his "legit" start

bret easton ellis is great and he like it so....; 8:49 AM
GemTwist said...: That's what I thought. It's (probably, hopefully) supposed to be ridiculous and campy.; 8:57 AM
smash said...: Yeah. He is fine.

Best LILO acting I have seen in ages ;)
(If you watch the trailer she doesn't say anything and you only see her twice or so); 8:59 AM
parissucksliterally said...: CHEESY CHEESE.

awful...; 9:00 AM
stigs84 said...: No, he does straight porn; 9:08 AM
katsm0711 said...: The whole movie is just words on the screen. There's no actual dialogue.

I don't make fun of people's looks, just once in a while really bad plastic surgery bc thats their fault (unless I really feel bad for them or she's just a bitch who deserves it)... U know what's coming....

Lindsay is starting to look like Eric Stolz in Mask.; 9:12 AM
g.strathmore said...: This looks like someone's film school senior project.; 9:13 AM
Seonaid Divine said...: LOL @katsm0711

You set that up perfectly.
x; 9:19 AM
Pookie said...: i get it that the editing is supposed to be a nod to the 60s new wave & post-neo realism movement in film...but i don't know if that nod is meant in homage or as mockery. either way, your average viewer isn't going to get it.

good luck, ll.; 9:19 AM
Unknown said...: was that supposed to be funny because I can't stop laughing; 9:22 AM
Seonaid Divine said...: @Pookie
LOL
How are you using post-neo realism here? '70's porn?
;)
Generous, you are.; 9:23 AM
MISCH said...: The trailer looks like it's in a time warp...circa 1967
oh and it's awful...; 9:24 AM
Sherry said...: @katsm: Really? There is no dialogue at all in the movie?

I didn't think they overused the quotes. Movies and characters do go in quotes but the "huge" was a little silly.

And yeah, it looks "Valley of the Dolls" campy.; 9:36 AM
El Roy 13 said...: i was one who actually liked, I know who killed me...and I loved american psycho, hardcore looks good too from what I read last night, and LL really does have legit acting chops, so I def will watch this.; 9:38 AM
Bluevelvet said...: It looks like a better homage tp grindhouse movies than the movie "Grindhouse"; 9:49 AM
crichmond1000 said...: Like a fan made video on youtube. I think they missed their mark; 10:02 AM
Amber said...: @OMAMA - I LOVED I Know Who Killed Me. Obviously not because it was a cinematic masterpiece, but it's so freaking fun(ny) to watch. Same with Jennifer's Body, and this other movie called Ginger Snaps.; 10:23 AM
Beth said...: Did they make it look awful on purpose?; 11:01 AM
jax said...: uh, James Deen is not gay. Read his blog.; 11:29 AM
Nick said...: Paul Schrader directed "The Canyons;" he isn't a raging incompetent, so I'm guessing he's going for comedy here. The whole thing could very well be a big huge misfire, but I don't see the goofiness of that trailer as being anything other than carefully chosen.; 11:51 AM
Maximus said...: Wow that looks catastrophic; 11:53 AM
raelynn said...: I'm confused....is "The Canyons" referring to a description of Lohan's va-jay-jay????; 12:21 PM
MadLyb said...: Actually - this looks like it's going to be awesome! I love the old campy flicks.; 12:27 PM
Jason Blue Eyes said...: Paul Schrader directed this - He's written some of the greatest movies ever - his work as a director is hit or miss - I think he's trying to go Paul Thomas Anderson/Dario Argento here and I'm not sure he pulled it off.

This isn't going to win Lindsay that Oscar she wants sooooooo bad though.; 12:44 PM
Brian said...: When Kickstarter goes wrong...; 1:23 PM
Mango said...: @ Amber - If you don't have speakers you really didn't miss much - just some cheesy bongo/beatnik music.; 1:34 PM
old ;ady said...: And we are surprised Why? Looks bad and stars LiLo what did everyone expect? I know she will win an award for this mess a Razzie.; 1:56 PM
Sherry said...: oh raelynn: excellent!; 2:28 PM
MrWolf said...: @Brian - LOL!; 3:01 PM
pretzel logic said...: All this film needs is Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo making cracks about it from the front row seats.; 3:43 PM
mooshki said...: Amen, Pretzel!

I can't believe how badly she's ruined her face. Ugh.; 6:16 PM
Wil said...: Damn .. that music had me on the look out for Annette and Frankie and a polka dotted bikini.; 10:58 PM

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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Canyons Trailer

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