Well, Rob Kardashian has decided that he is going to go the Charlie Sheen route in life. According to Star, Rob has been boozing almost non-stop and his latest ex-girlfriend is actually a hooker he originally paid to have sex. So, not much different than his sister who got paid to have sex with Ray J taped. The hooker, predictably enough decided to sell her story to the magazine. I know, I know, who could imagine a hooker selling her story to a tabloid? Rob has been drinking every day and starts right when the clock hits noon. He loves hookers and apparently has a business that is tanking because of his drinking and screwing. Rob has a business? Being Lamar's shadow?
She probably makes him feel right at home.
ReplyDeleteAs one falls, hopefully the rest will follow.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteNot that I'm in the habit of checking dudes out...but Jeebus, does everyone in that family have a big butt?
ReplyDeleteI can live with the chubby. Hell, I do live with the chubby! I cannot, however, get past the booze and hookers. Awesome life choices, dude.
ReplyDeletemorning everybody. Well, They BOTH sell their bodies, get screwed and are paid to "enjoy it", and both jobs are held in low esteem by society....It's a match!
ReplyDeleteHe waits until noon? What a rookie.
ReplyDelete@Lucas, even before he gained weight, he had a bubble but.
I bet he has a bigass dookie bubble that needs to be pegged out...
ReplyDelete^Standard response for wtf posts.
G'morn, CDAN'ers!!
@Em - gotcha. Not that I have any room to talk or anything. But when I looked at that photo it was like whoa.
ReplyDeleteI Just realized... He's wearing the Good sweat suit combo. It's nice when they dress for the liquor store.
ReplyDeleteWhoa is right! He's got a girlie-butt!
ReplyDeleteMeanie, I was eating breakfast when I saw your post. Now... eh... not so much. *blech*
ReplyDeleteI think that's the swayback scoliosis butt pooch. It makes his gut more pronounced as his spine sways forward(very last week pregnancy looking)
ReplyDeleteIt's oK y'all. All he has to do is use Kim's new line of sKales. I hear they take 40 pounds off immediately.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how he's going to lose that weight if he's drinking so much. I'm trying to lose weight and I have to cut out drinking all together (mostly almost) because I get hammered and think FETTUCINI ALFREDO SOUNDS DELICIOUS!!!
ReplyDeleteLol @hunter!! I would always pig out when i drank, always greasy and fried fattening food. I packed on 60 pounds in 5 years and dropped it within a year after I quit drinking.
DeleteI remember my father once, loaded, eating tomaties with apricot jelly on them, lol. May be the reason he eventually gave up drinking, lol.
DeleteGood morning! I was gonna say what @misch did. Nasty.
ReplyDelete@gypsy I would like a sKale now haha. :)
By Jove! so he's dating his sister Kim?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't he shill socks? (at the seashore.)
ReplyDeleteHe's the only member of the K clan I don't completely hate. But dating a hooker must be just like being at home for him.
ReplyDeleteHe's really the lost soul of the bunch. Hmmmm. All the girls, no matter what u think if them, work, keep committments, make money, dont drink or use drugs. If u think about it, all the boys, including bruces, are a waste of life, have no purpose, dont work. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteHmm that is interesting. I guess Khloe isn't the only hermaphodite in the family.
DeleteShe's just a foot hooker he found while searching for foot models for his sock empire.
ReplyDeleteis he gaining some sympathy pregnancy weight?
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised Rob isn't using Quick Trim to lose some weight. It worked so well for his sisters. *eye roll*
ReplyDeleteHis business is being ruined by his screwing.
ReplyDeleteI'm still pondering that line.
Got...Rob got so fat.
ReplyDeleteHe's probably trying to drink away his conscience. Can't be in that family and have one.
ReplyDelete@ Frufra - Don't forget he has a tattoo of his mother's face on his arm. Instant female repeller!
ReplyDeleteRobert Kardashian Sr must be so proud of his family...and there was absolute no sarcasm in that statement
ReplyDeleteI wish I could start drinking at noon. Or even a doobie at noon then start drinking at 2 or 3.
ReplyDeleteYes, his job is something like designing socks. (Probably for his sisters' store.) For an ordinary person, that would be a perfectly good job, but with the opportunities and resources he has, that's pretty pathetic.
ReplyDeleteLardassian probably smells like a mix of butt crack, coke sweat, shame, self-loathing, 3 day old Taco Bell and Astroglide. With a blast of Axe Body Spray to freshen up.
ReplyDelete"Lardassian" - best word of the day. Thank you, @CDAN Reader! :)
DeleteOne by one they all fall down.
ReplyDelete@auntliddy: I'm cracking up now because I misread the first part of your comment as "the lost soul of the belch." That seems more fitting, somehow.
ReplyDelete@CDAN Reader - good God! I am going to pass on breakfast now, LOL.
ReplyDeleteHunter, thanks to your comment, I've been craving fettucine alfredo for 2 hours now. And I'm not even drunk.
ReplyDelete*fettuccine
ReplyDeleteIf it's a hooker involved isn't it called shopping instead of dating? As devoted as I have been over the years I would never say that I'm dating Best Buy. Although I do see Best Buy weekly almost. We're just friends. Really, I swear.
ReplyDeleteThese comments are hilarious, I guess we can thank the Kardashians for bringing out the best snark.
ReplyDeleteIt's nearly 5 in the afternoon here and I've just had a bowl of porridge to tide me over til dinner. I really picked the wrong thread to read!!
ReplyDeleteWen does he really have a tattoo of his Mum? The idea of that woman's face perm on anyone's arm is nasty.
At least they've got some more material for the next series, Kris has prob been delivering the booze & pizzas.
Rob's street walking anthem is "I love it when you call me big poppa"
ReplyDelete@skimpymist omg that cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteThis is sad. Out of all the krap from the Kardashians, I liked Rob the best. Thought he was genuinely likable on DWTS and I was hoping he'd find a place for himself...
ReplyDelete... I just didn't think it would be with a hooker. He needs to stop hitting the booze. He's looking rough. Like rode hard, put away wet rough. I usually only use that description for Kim.
I don't think I've ever heard him speak. Does he have the Kardashian nasal/whiny voice? That's gotta be so sexy in a man.
ReplyDeleteHe designs socks? Really? What did they put some ideas in a jar for Rob and this is what he pulled out?
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing one show where he couldn't comprehend why he couldn't live the lifestyle the girls were and Khloe (I think) had to tell him he needed a job. Nothing comes for free or something like that.
And is he pregnant too? Dayum on that fat ass.
Off to the store now to buy cream to make some Fettuccini Alfredo. Thanks Hunter! Thanks a lot.
now imagine if we all talked about a woman the way you talk about Rob...works both ways if you want society to change.
ReplyDeleteWe do or we would, if it was a known person drinking, sleeping wuth hookers and doibg drugs.
DeleteI know Jax I kinda felt bad about that. But I guess it's the juxtaposition of where he was previously. He's always been much thinner so it's hard NOT to notice he's much fuller figured now.
ReplyDeletethey violated kim on the cover of the nypost today
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/dressed_to_ill_in_ny_city_9a9aI1kxZoyWDD867vd5hM
with that said, rob seems like such a lazy fat ass
their all wide except kourt
He has to be in his second trimester! Rookie indeed. Beer is not only for breakfast. What is he thinking!!
ReplyDeleteAww. He's sympathy weight gaining with Kim. What a good brother.
ReplyDeletedamn! he did gain some weight. he's a jerk off, end of story.
ReplyDelete