Gwyneth Paltrow Needs To Shut It

You know the really sad thing about all of this Gwyneth Paltrow talk lately? She doesn't even have a movie she is promoting or anything. That means she just decided she wanted to get in all of our faces and tell us the world according to Gwyneth. No, not Garp. Although, I think John Lithgow dressed as a man is an improvement over Gwyneth sometimes. He wasn't Garp though was he? That movie was really good. I wonder how come the movie channels don't repeat the hell out of that movie. "I mean, I had mine surgically removed, but..."

Anyway, Gwyneth is interviewed in the new issue of Elle UK because, well she pretends she is from the UK and so they like her. Hell, I don't know why they did. They did get some great quotes from her though because one thing, she knows how to do well is say the wrong thing.

Let's take a look shall we? (Mr. Rogers hand waving you in)

'I just got out of sweatpants, out of mummy mode. I love fashion , but when you're breastfeeding and you're a stone-and-a-half overweight, it's demoralising to try to wear good clothes.'

I know that since this is a UK magazine they might have put in the stone and a half part instead of Gwyneth so I am not going to say anything about that, or even the mummy thing. I am going to give her a break to show I am kind and fair. What I am ticked off about is the fact that she says that she was 21 pounds overweight. (A stone equals 14 pounds) I don't think Gwyneth gained 21 pounds her entire pregnancy and by whatever time she went out you know she had lost most of it. In this quote she is referring to that black dress she wore to a premiere where she looked like she was walking the streets. Yeah, that one. So, I don't get her quote. What is she trying to say? That she lies about how overweight she was? That even if she weighed 21 pounds more than she does right now that she would still be in desperate need of a double-double from In-N-Out? I just always feel like she is trying to relate to the "everyday person" when she really has no clue about average anything and lives in her own world.

Except for one thing. This actually almost made me like her for the 5 seconds it took me to read the sentence. "Man, I wish smoking didn't kill you. I'd be smoking right now. I miss it." You know what? That is probably the most honest thing she has ever said in an interview at anytime.

She also says that when she is 70 she is going to start again and is counting down the days until that event. Hey, at least she has a retirement goal.

Now, the statement that confuses me the most is that she says that she and Chris Martin will NEVER walk a red carpet together because HE doesn't want them to be a public couple. Of course, this weekend they are going to walk the Grammy Red Carpet together so there goes that whole line of questions.