Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Randy And Evi Quaid ThisClose To Solving Their Own Murder


Attention reality show producers. Please tell me why I have to watch 18 hours a week of The Kardashians but none of you have made the trek up to Vancouver to sign up the Quaids for a reality show. They are gold. The great thing about having them as the subjects of your reality show is you don't need to do any setups. Just turn on the cameras and they will provide the plot and the drama.

One person who did make the trek to see them was an Esquire reporter who sat down with the couple for three hours. I know. How great was that?

You want to know how great the Quaids are? This is what they keep in their car with them. "A box of proof, carried everywhere they go, just in case. Flow charts. Circles, arrows, names — underscored, crossed out — photographs. Satellite images. A litany of slights and wrongs, and a bag containing $8 million in photocopied checks."

Can you picture them staying up late at night working these things out? And you want to give me 30 minutes of Kendra a week? Please.

Evi says the couple has interrupted their killers practicing how to kill them. She says they will be killed in one of three ways. "Their most likely end, the Quaids believe, will involve knives. Randy will be drugged in his sleep — "They know he has sleep apnea," she says — and Evi will be stabbed to death. Then they will put the knife in his hand. He will wake up and be locked away forever. Or he will kill himself in his terror and grief."

Their other choices are being hanged together or being found frozen in their car loaded with Demerol.

In the interview they claim RadarOnline is owned by the police. They also kind of take a jab at Scientology I think. They started talking about how Randy Quaid still makes money off Days Of Thunder and then Evi says, "The Days of Thunder angle is very interesting,"

As for catching the people who are going to kill them? "I feel like we're really close," Evi says. "We're this close to solving our own murder. It's the only way I'll be able to keep Randy alive."

This is the greatest interview ever. To read it all, click here.


23 comments:

  1. that. is. awesome.

    but why keep that in their car? now surely someone is going to try to break into it...

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  2. @Pookie: Oh, go on and give them something ELSE to be paranoid about! LOL

    Seriously, though, this is truly sad. I don't know what the stats are on two truly delusional paranoids hooking up, so I'm guessing they're on drugs that cause paranoia....

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  3. This is wiggy and wonderful, but I do have a bad feeling about Evi whacking him and saying "See, I told you so!"

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  4. @Cheryl Agreed. The top three ways they might be killed all sound more like potential suicide scenarios than murder scenarios.

    At some point you think the court would order a psych evaluation and be done with the charade.

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  5. I didn't know that you could catch crazy from a spouse. He's now officially as nuts as she is. She'll never get help unfortunately.
    A reality show would be awesome, but I doubt any contract they sign would be valid.

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  6. If I lived in Vancouver I would would hunt them down and wear a black leather jack and sunglasses. With a toy walkie talkie and pretend I was going to star whack them. Just to watch them go insane-er.

    Yup, I'm evil.

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  7. That's funny, timebob.

    I know somebody in Vancouver who might do this....but, I'm too scared of Evi to mess with these two.

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  8. These two are just like everyone else. They put their straight jackets on one buckle at a time.

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  9. "We're this close to solving our own murder..."
    Yes dear... it's called "meth addiction".
    There, I've solved the mystery, can I have a Scoobie Snack now?

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  10. now everyone knows randy has sleep apnea.

    sounds like they're planning their own suicides. this is way too creepy. i don't think it would make a good reality show. who knows how sick they actually are. to watch them would probably give me nightmares. crazy people are frightening.

    what was that grace kelly quote about hollywood?

    so glad i'm nobody. life is fun.

    **steps down from soapbox

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  11. I believe them. Hollywood is a messed up place.

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  12. While they're here they should take advantage of the sweet health care system we have and seek mental help.

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  13. While you can't 'catch crazy' I think that some people who are easily influenced can be turned into an equally as crazy a person as their spouse/significant other.

    A good friend of mine turned into a crazy, conspiracy theorist nutball who believes all sorts of whacky things about our government and society in general. She wasn't like that before, but she became thay way because her boyfriend was into all of that, and she became influenced by him. She was easily influenced and became a whack job. It can happen :(

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  14. anyone else ever see 'bug'? not an ashley judd fan but she was good in it and michael shannon was great.

    they remind me very much of the couple in that movie. he was a paranoid schizophrenic, she was a drug addict and she ended up as delusional as he was.

    i worry about randy and evi. i get a lot of amusement from them but i do worry someone will get hurt before this is all over.

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  15. Great play about this called 'Bug' by Tracey Letts. It doesn't end well. Bloody good, though.

    I feel very sorry for them.

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  16. Another great interview with them:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJN_sIJVpuA

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  17. Flowcharts??? They are crazy, elaborate & very organized.

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  18. I agree with others - this is foreshadowing.

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  19. Is this a mutually enforced crazy or brought on by drug usage? The sad thing is that it seems nothing can stop it and it's not gonna end well.

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  20. @sunnyside....excellent! LOL!!

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