Happy Cinco De Mayo

As is my tradition every year, I started drinking at the break of dawn and fully intend to keep on drinking until I pass out. At the rate I'm going I should be down for the count about 4pm. Anyway, because of the early drinking, the blind item to be revealed will be tomorrow. Everytime I scroll through all the blind items, I'm having a tough time focusing and almost revealed one I shouldn't, just because I'm too buzzed. I'm so buzzed that it looks like Mr. Burns is real. He is still alive? Homer hasn't killed him yet?

Amanda Bynes Has More Charges Coming

It turns out that Amanda Bynes is not just going to be charged with DUI, but also refusal to to take a breathalyzer test. I don't really blame her for that if she was drinking because it is about your only chance to win the case if it goes to trial. Of course it also totally shows that she was drinking regardless of what her dad said. Do you think he has come around yet and realizes his daughter not only drinks, but was drinking that night? Oh, and most nights.

14 Year Old Gets Married On American Version Of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

Tomorrow on My Bog Fat Gypsy Wedding they are featuring a 14 year old who is getting married in Georgia. Last time I checked, the legal age of marriage in Georgia is 16. Even in the UK version, they wait until they are 16 to comply with the law. Why get married if it is not even legal? Anyway, the family has the teen brainwashed. She says she feels empty inside unless she stays at home all day cleaning.

Megan Fox Really Doesn't Want To Talk About Pregnancy

Steve Jones interviewed Megan Fox for Entertainment Tonight. Well, he tried to anyway. After pressing Megan Fox on whether she is pregnant, Megan's publicist stopped the interview. Seriously? I totally understand it is none of our business if Megan Fox is pregnant, but if you are going on a show to promote something, you better know you are going to get asked questions that you don't want to answer. Kudos to Steve for asking.

National Enquirer Blind Item

Which blonde actress and mother of two doesn’t get invited to her friends’ Malibu beach parties any longer because she’s a HUGE flirt? The currently unwed star is in a relationship, but that has never stopped her from making advances and pawing all over her girlfriend’s husbands and dates before!

Lindsay Lohan Won't Be Charged In Hit & Run

Shortly after the police referred Lindsay Lohan's hit and run case to the district attorney, the DA said they will not be filing any charges against Lindsay because the victim was not credible and there is no video and no medical records to support the claims he was making. Well, I guess this is one for Lindsay. Now she just has to find out about the case where she allegedly shoved that woman. Oh, and is anything happening in the case where she threw a drink in a woman's face?

Dennis Quaid Can Cheat All He Wants

Kimberly Buffington Quaid has called off her divorce to Dennis Quaid. What this tells Dennis is that he is free to cheat on Kimberly as much as he likes and she won't do anything about it. After reading about and hearing about Dennis cheating on her, Kimberly filed for divorce. Now, she has decided to withdraw her divorce petition and to work things out with Dennis. When you get humiliated like she was in public and then agree to stick it out, you lose any kind of say in your marriage and what is going to happen. Either Kimberly will just suck it up for the rest of her life and be unhappy for the sake of their kids or she should just break it off now. You know in a year or so he will find someone younger and divorce her so they might as well end it now.

Ted C Blind Item

Traylor McMuff is the kind of celeb dude who enjoys many of the trappings of Hollywood life. But the guy will probably never go home with an Oscar, that's just a cold hard fact.

Instead, Traylor gets to take back to his bicoastal abodes many other things, mainly lots of money, tons of friends who love his outgoing personality, and, um, just about every woman who he comes in contact with, both married and not.

What's his secret?

Traylor hangs out almost exclusively with gay men!

See, Traylor knows that despite his killer abs and face, both L.A. and New York are chock-full of gorgeous young men who are dying to show almost any woman a good time. And even though Traylor's bod is drop-dead tight (still) and his face is chiseled as they come, he is not, how shall we say, getting any younger.

He therefore loves nothing more than going out—sometimes several times in one week—with his friends to gay bars. Because Traylor knows full well that often where gay men go, also go their straight best girlfriends.

And these gals are usually so taken aback to find out Traylor isn't secretly gay (as many folks think) they're willing to do just about anything the McMuff asks.

Which just happens to always include taking them back to his pad and—how shall I put this?—having nooky that's not exactly great for everybody.

Just Traylor.

What a naughty boy in more ways than one!

AND IT AIN'T: Matthew McConaughey, Mark Wahlberg, Kanye West

Adam Yauch Has Died

Adam Yauch, one-third of the pioneering hip-hop group the Beastie Boys, has died at the age of 47. Yauch, also known as MCA, had been in treatment for cancer since 2009. The rapper was diagnosed in 2009 after discovering a tumor in his salivary gland.

My favorite Beastie Boys song.

Random Photos Part Three

Chloe Moretz and Emma Roberts at the premiere of their new movie.
Drew Barrymore looking glum in her daily photo.
Eva Mendes hits a red carpet for the first time in awhile.
Oh, I wanted this photo of Chloe Moretz and Rory Culkin looking like a member of Hanson up higher.
Helen Mirren filming that Hitchcock movie.
January Jones wins the strangest dress of the day award.
Jennifer Love Hewitt at The Grove promoting her show.
I wish Jennifer Lopez actually did have this tattoo.

Random Photos Part Two

Jason Segel and Emily Blunt in Australia.
Katherine Jenkins is getting quite the following.
Kanye West and Ben Stiller stare down the cheerleaders.
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart leaving Vancouver.
Kate Moss partying until 7am.
The first photo of Robert Downey Jr.'s son.
Kate Upton could not really help the Knicks against the Heat.
Liev Schreiber getting the chance for some alone time.

Random Photos Part One

Three parts today.

Sandra Bullock goes on a coffee run for Louis. He is a big decaf fan.
Andy Cohen gets to see some breasts. These belong to Tamra Barney.
A first time appearance for Annie Lennox's daughter Tali.
At the same event and looking unrecognizable was Mischa Barton.
Vanessa Hudgens hides her head in shame. Must have seen the dailies for her new movie.
Vanessa Lachey and her growing baby bump.
Press for MIB3 with Will Smith, Josh Brolin and Tommy Lee Jones.

Don't Dress Your Baby Like A Zebra If You Are Going To The Zoo

Skylar Laine Gets Eliminated On American Idol

Since I have only come in to this season of American idol in the last two weeks I have not seen the run of bad performances by Hollie Cavanagh so didn't even know she had been in the bottom two for the past two months solid. That is hanging by a thread every week. So, everyone was shocked that Skylar was eliminated last night but if you look at it from a perspective of only the one night of performing then I think she did deserve to go home. As much as this is a show about what you have done for a whole season and your body of work, you have to realize there are a lot of people like me who come in late to the show or to others who just watch some weeks and not the others and don't know about the body of work.

Jennifer Lopez Promotes Her Boyfriend

Jennifer Lopez's boyfriend must have been a good boy last week and did all his chores. Jennifer has announced that when her world tour begins that Casper Smart will be her choreographer. That of course means he will get paid from something other than the money Jennifer leaves out on the nightstand every night for him. I'm sure he is plenty talented enough to be a choreographer for Jennifer. She is not going to move that much anyway. The fact she announced it though is kind of laughable. Name one tour you know where someone sent a press release announcing their choreographer?

Four For Friday - The Hard Fall

It was not that too long ago that this comic actor from a network sketch comedy show was probably one of the top two or three cast members of the show and was starring in movies and fielding offers constantly. Now, he is barely remembered except in some best of collections and is a constant subject of whatever happened to? Well, what happened to him was some very bad choices when it came to his life. There was the awkward marriage to a no name actress where he tried to convince himself and everyone that he is straight. He still struggles with this and as a way of dealing with his personal demons started abusing drugs on a regular basis. Much of his fortune went for drugs for his wife and him and his friends. His wife who he split with is HIV+. She swears she got it from our comic actor but she has never pursued it and he has never submitted to a test. She is and was an avid drug user so it could just as easily be that she got it from dirty needles. Over the past few years our actor has taken loans from his old castmates and got jobs here and there including a minor recurring part on a middling show but it does not support his drug habit. He has several men and women he sees for sex and they pay him and keep him around because they are star struck. When he really makes the effort he can turn on the smile and laugh and make people remember what they found likable about him in the first place and what should have kept him as a star.

Your Turn

I know I have asked you in the past if you would date someone who had been convicted of a crime, but when I saw this website that ranks inmates by attractiveness I wondered how many people would try and date or have a relationship with someone who is actually in jail.

Tanning Mom Says We Are All Jealous & Ugly

Apparently tanning mom does not look in the mirror much, but she says that she is the victim of a witch hunt that saw her being charged with child endangerment for taking her five year old daughter to a tanning salon. Tanning mom pleaded not guilty yesterday and then both she and her husband spoke out. Tanning mom's husband does not appear to share her love for tanning booths. He seems pretty pasty to me but he supports his wife which I guess means he wants his 5 year old to be tan too. Tanning mom said that everyone who disagrees with her is jealous, fat and ugly.

National Enquirer Blind Item

Which fashionable actress/reality personality – she’s had serious eating disorder issues in the past – has shocked her personal trainer with comments about her new binge and purge routine? The trainer doesn’t want to get fired, but he felt it necessary to mention the skinny star’s "chew and spit" habit to her famous husband.

Brandi Glanville Gets Thwarted By LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian

Brandi Glanville was going to be a full-time wife on Real Housewives - Beverly Hills this season. Now though, she might still be a friend and not a wife. The reason? Apparently the producers wanted to feature her kids more and Eddie Cibrian said no. Well he said no, but LeAnn Rimes pulled the strings coming out of his back.

I'm not sure how much the kids would have been featured. They were on it for five minutes last season and none of the regulars have their kids on that much. I think Brandi will be on plenty and that this is just a fun way to keep up the war kind of like with Jen and Angelina except on a D list level.

Salma Hayek's Husband Wanted Linda Evangelista To Abort Their Baby

This Linda Evangelista/Francois-Henri Pinault trial just gets more and more interesting. So far, Salma Hayek's husband has admitted that he broke up with Linda when she told him she was pregnant. He also wanted her to abort the baby. He said the reason for that was because he did not even know her. Huh. Then perhaps you should not have been having unprotected sex. Because you know what? These things happen when you do, whether you know the person or not.

Now, this is not to say that I think Linda needs all the money she is asking for, BUT, Linda makes a ton of money on her own so it is not like she needs the money for herself and I don't see anything wrong in giving her the $46K a month and we can call it an a-hole fee.

Anna Paquin Defends Her Bisexuality

Anna Paquin has given an interview and talks about how that even though she is married and pregnant that she is bisexual and that she is not just making it up. Were people accusing her of making it up? I thought the whole thing of being a bisexual is that you were equally attracted to men and women so why wouldn't you ever get married or have kids? How does that make you any less bisexual? I think the big issue is that people never believe that someone can be bisexual and that they are really gay and just experiment. Again though, isn't that being bisexual?

National Enquirer Blind Item

What former child star, who went on to marry an abusive athlete, is in the grips of a terrifying cancer scare? The actress won’t go public until the findings are positive, but she’s been a nervous wreck as she awaits the results.

Kevin Federline Sued For Trashing House

I don't think any of us expected Kevin Federline to be the cleanest tenant ever, but with a couple of kids living with you and more visiting all the time you would think that back in 2008, he would at least hire someone to keep his place clean. Kevin is being sued by his former landlord who says Kevin rented a house from him and in the seven months Kevin lived there, never paid any rent. Kevin also left thousands of cigarette butts scattered all over the house and yard, spit everywhere, and had glass bottles all over the yard. That doesn't sound like a very child friendly environment. This was pre Victoria though. Why is Kevin not buying a place instead of renting? Spends all his money on food?

No More Mrs Kutcher On Twitter

Hey, if you have a hankering to be called Mrs Kutcher on Twitter, the name is now available. I could see why you would want to be called that. Not in the sense that you would want to be married to Ashton Kutcher, although I'm sure there would be plenty of women who would like that. I was thinking more along the lines that if you took the name Mrs Kutcher you then have some great fake Tweets from Demi Moore. Demi has switched to @justdemi which is nice, but she could have also gone with @justeat or @70'sshowhater or @whensrehabagain or @isuedtomakemovies

Ashley Judd Saves A Dog

Never let it be said that I won't write about you if you do something nice even if I still don't think you are all that nice of a person. Ashley Judd is the case in point. A couple of days ago in Nashville, a dog was thrown out of the window of a moving car. The community in Nashville has rallied around "Walter," and his significant medical bills have been paid for by Ashley Judd. It should also be noted that there is a councilman in Nashville named Walter Hunt who kept the dog from being sent to a shelter and instead was sent to a rescue. If the video does not display, you can click here.

Bachelor Host Chris Harrison To Be A Bachelor

Chris Harrison and his wife of 18years have announced they are splitting. You think that maybe Chris enjoyed some of the single ladies over the seasons or wanted to? 18 years does not usually end unless there is some kind of very good reason. The pair have not been together for quite some time but finally had to say something because Chris was going to show up in public with someone. Either that or be the next Bachelor. The thing is that would be a very bad mistake on Chris' part because they would have to hire a host for the season and he might never get his job back.

Random Photos Part Three

Alec Baldwin makes funny faces for Hilaria Thomas.
Bruce Willis waves to the one person who noticed he arrived in Budapest.
Courtney Stodden without makeup. This is how she should look all the time. Now she doesn't look like a 40 year old hooker. She looks like a 17 year old hooker.
Drew Barrymore getting papped on a daily basis now.
David Beckham at his birthday party.
David Cassidy in London.
Demi Lovato in Mexico City.
Emma Watson on the set of her new movie.

Random Photos Part Two

The Goopster is really shiny. She must use the same stuff on her legs because they are always shiny too.
Jenelle Evans on the way to get her breast implants. Her boyfriend could use a brain implant.
Quite possibly the most normal Lady GaGa has ever looked in public when on tour.
Also looking normal is Lindsay Lohan. Must be the Sam Ronson smooching.
Because every guy buys electronics based on whether Megan Fox is selling them in thigh highs.
Maggie and Peter take the new baby out.
Mila Kunis shopping in LA.
Mark Ruffalo has a lot of fans.