Friday, March 07, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Vicky Vamp Void recently had some work done to her famed bod, though we think her old mug is just as shrugworthy as her new one. The unnecessary surgery seemed completely cosmetic, but ya never know—cocaine does do some pretty rancid damage to the ol’ septum, boys ‘n’ girls. Stick to Diet Rockstar, kiddos, ‘kay? Vicky has been spotted in the past casually snorting the white stuff at the Spider Club, the semiexclusive hot spot atop Hell-Ay’s Avalon. Spider might be a private place, but Vicks nonchalantly nosedived in front of tons of spying eyes like it was no big deal. Usually, it sure ain’t, since who's left in T-town to throw stones at when everyone’s taken a sniff or two time and time again? But so it goes when you’re a superceleb. Your fun night out becomes game for goss, fer sure—not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower.

Recently, VVV’s been seen around just about every hip hang with her intriguing, sexually mysterious partner in crime, Humpy Harlow. The tingling twosome are more than happy to parade in front of the paps, soaring as high as weather balloons. But why is H2, a heretofore pretty iconoclastic star, going along for the Us Weekly upchuck ride? Dunno. Might have something do with the fact that, prior to being attached to V3’s barely there notoriety, Hump was known to not exactly party.

Just a hunch there. But, uh, look for Harlow’s brand-new puss, too, sometime in ’09, we suspect.

Guess H.H. has picked up some average (and lethal) Hell-Ay habits from this wild child gal-pal.

31 comments:

Mooshki said...

I think the guesses at E are right - Ashley Tisale & Vanessa Hudgins.

mandythegreat said...

And It's Not:
Miley Cyrus
Rachel Bilson
Vanessa Hudgens


My guess is Ashlee Simpson and Petey.

lmm1969 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sunny said...

Vicky Vamp Void recently had some work done to her famed bod, though we think her old mug is just as shrugworthy

Well, was it her mug or her bod? Make up your mind TedC.

Does anyone else here think TedC often pulls this shit outta his ass?

DNfromMN said...

mandy - I like that. Wasn't Pete "straight-edge" not so long ago?

bebepute said...

This sounds to me like Nicole Richie. The clue Humpy Harlow refers to her new daughter and it might also be about Paris Hilton and Benji

ms_wonderland said...

Nicole ritchie has never been a 'young role model' for anyone, surely? What about those two twats, Heidi and Spencer? Nickname Speidi, with the Spider Room as a clue?

Emily said...

paris and bengi

jax said...

ashley n pete.

shiny_special_one said...

I like the Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz guess. She's had plenty of unnecessary plastic surgery, and didn't she put out a record last year under a ridiculous faux goth alter ego called Vicky Valentine? I think she did, have to go look that up...
Pete Wentz used to be really coy about his sexuality too, and was straight-edge. The only thing that doesn't fit to me is that I'd hardly call Pete Wentz iconoclastic, but this is a Ted Casablanca item. I suppose for Ted and his regular readers, Fall Out Boy might be considered daring or rebellious. *snigger*

Get a Life said...

drew barrymoore and justin long

sara said...

I agree w/ Ashlee and Pete. Ted never calls Humpy a he or she. Iconoclastic and intriguing fits Pete FAR more than Vanessa.

Gayla said...

Ugh, fucking Ted. Let me try to decipher this for my own sanity before guessing at anything.

Someone (VVV) *recently* had a nose job. This VVV was once seen (may still be seen to some) as a 'role model' for kids but actually does a lot of coke and apparently parties a lot.

Recently this VVV person has been hanging out with some other star, HH. HH could be gay, could be bi, could just be a dman freak who hasn't made up his/her mind yet. Apparently it's been a topic of discussion at least once. Anyway, HH was not known for partying - in fact, was known for the fact that he/she did NOT party. But now that HH is hanging out with VVV, he/she has turned an about face.

Interestingly, the gender of the second star is not mentioned once in the whole blind. Hmm. This makes me think it's two females ("gal-pal") and not a boyfriend-girlfriend couple.

And "look for Harlow's brand-new puss"? What the heck does that mean? Will HH be getting a nose job soon? Is he saying that this person's coke habit will lead to that eventual point?

I emphasized the *recently*'s above just because Ashlee and Pete have been dating for a while. I don't think it's them.

meredith said...

"Just a hunch there. But, uh, look for Harlow’s brand-new puss, too, sometime in ’09, we suspect."

what is he referring to here?

VegasDarling said...

What about Mary Kate Olsen? She just had some face work done, she and her sister have famous bodies since they're so f'ing skinny. I have no idea who Harlow would be, though.

captivagrl said...

"brand- new puss"....am i the only one thinkin' lower?

Lauren said...

it is an expression that means "face"

kat said...

"look for Harlow's brand-new puss" means H.H. is going to blow out his/her nose too with all the coke use and have to get his/her septum reconstructed too. ted just said this to emphasize how much blow H.H. is doing.

Twisted Sister said...

Cap - yes. You dirty bird, you.

donna said...

I am thinking mandy moore for HH .. she has always come across as squeeky clean .. who is she hanging out with recently? is VV hilary or hallee duff?

Laviolett said...

Gayla, great recap. Thanks!!
I'm kinda wondering if "puss" isn't exactly what it says. Especially with there being no gender reference for HH.
That said, I have no idea.

francesca fiore said...

God bless you Gayla, for translating!! I just do not have what it takes to slog through Ted C's stupid crap. I just read the guesses and hope I figure out what he's on about.

Judi said...

Is it Heidi Montag who had both her nose and tits done? Aside from Spencer, she hangs with Lauren Conrad who doesn't exactly fit the "iconoclastic" description. I don't know. Ashlee didn't have a lot of surgery - she had her nose done and it looks much better. Less like Pimpa.
When and on what did MKO have surgery? As much as she's in the press, there's been no down time for her to have had any.

jax said...

judi what planet are you on?

LC and Heidi have not been freinds in over a year.
yes i know and im lame.
lol.

"you KNOW what you did!"
- Lauren

Stacey said...

This one was very obviously Ashlee and Pete. Fits every category.

MadLyb said...

I agree with the person who guessed Drew and Justin.

Harriet Hellfire said...

I thought of Kim Kardashian for some reason.

Marnie said...

This is what we call an "Evergreen" in journalism, because you can trot it out whenever you have space to fill, like stories about bacteria levels in common household areas and breakfast foods that have more calories in them than you'd think (bagels!).

Mia said...

this is written as new news, and if so, it's more drew and justin because ashley's nose job was years ago and her and pete are old snooze news

Marnie said...

Drew and Justin are old news too. Lainey had a blind on them doing coke months ago. Ted is phoning it in this week. Drew Barrymore in another relationship involving drugs? The Mac guy sniffing lines? "The horruh!!!"

PAZAZZ said...

Ashlee and Pete. Besides the fact that I've seen these two in action out and about but I think of the major clues aside from the nose job thing is the name HARLOW. IMO this is why the name is a big clue. Nicole Ritchie just named her daughter by Joel Madden HARLOW. Both Joel and Pete have the whole punk thing going on plus both are covered in tattoos. Also both were known before getting with there partners but are everywhere now that they have hooked up with these chicks. I can def. see Pete getting surgery. It will probably go unnoticed for awhile since most male plastic surgery does. Luckily we have alot of the same hang out spots so I'll have to keep in eye out.

Damn more thoughts just popped into my head.

This BI is def about a guy and a girl. The Nots that TED gave were Miley, Rachel & Vanessa. Both Vanessa & Rachel are dating guys that people question their sexuality all the time. People question Pete's sexuality all the time. He's def. bi/bicurious.