Michael Lohan Never Hit Lindsay, But He Abused Her No Matter What He Claims

Michael Lohan was all over television again today saying that he never abused Lindsay. He was trying to refute the claims of Lindsay's former bodyguard who had said that Michael had allowed Lindsay to drink while underage and other illegal acts. He said that the bodyguard would be sued. For what? And by whom?

Most people think abuse is something proactive like kicking the crap out of your wife and kid, but abuse can also be akin to endangering your child. Michael Lohan had just said the previous day that Lindsay was involved with drug dealers and other criminals when she was 15 and that the cops followed her to LA to see who she would hang out with.

Ummm. If he knew this and didn't try and stop it, that seems like abuse to me. No he didn't hit her that we know of or molest her that we know of or any classic abuse activities, but he also didn't do anything while his daughter was bringing home millions for the family to live on. You know Michael Lohan is the crappiest parent of the year when even Dina starts to look good. OK, not good. She's a real crappy parent also and obviously hasn't learned a damn thing. One look at Ali will tell you that neither parent has learned a damn thing. Hell, Dina's probably calling Lindsay at rehab asking for some money so she can go shopping and negotiating a deal with OK! for Lindsay's first interview out of rehab. How much of that money do you think Lindsay will see?

Four For Friday

Hopefully everyone noticed the clue today.

#1 This always seems so perfect A list film actress shocked everyone a few weeks ago. It seems that our princess (not Anne Hathaway so don't even start) had three or four friends in her trailer on a set and they saw some lines laid out on a table by the couch. The actress then sat down as if nothing was unusual and did all four lines. There has never even been a whisper of drugs in her past.

#2 Everyone has their own clothing line, perfume or water and it seems like any celebrity of any stature can get one if they put their mind to it. (Something to look into Ms. Pompeo) However this B list television actress on a popular network show who thinks she's A list but has the class of D list has gone from company to company and has been turned down repeatedly because contrary to the opinion she holds of herself, the companies all feel that anything she promotes would be a loser. When the product does inevitably bomb they also know that she would never take any of the blame, but blame everything on the company involved in the project with her.

#3 That NBA star from yesterday's blind item who is living in a hotel now made a little call last night and hired two women for some adult entertainment. When they showed up and saw who it was, one of the women said she would f**k almost anyone but wouldn't f**k him and walked out. The other one stayed.

#4 Ever wonder why this FHM regular, and B list film and television star is never photographed with a boyfriend? Well it turns out she's playing for the same team. She refuses to come out publicly, but also won't stoop to having a beard.

Killers Kill, Dead Men Die From Vanity Fair

For the background and the plot, click here.

50 Cent Destroys G Unit Offices

50 was a little pissed this morning. Seems that a certain someone, somewhere at Interscope Records leaked the video for the song Follow My Lead with Robin Thicke. The single isn't even supposed to be released until October. 50's album doesn't even come out until Spetember 11th.

So, this morning 50 was pissed because all his plans had gone up in smoke. So instead of dealing with it calmly, 50 ripped a 70 inch plasma television off the wall and threw it on top of a conference table which broke the television and the table and then took his phone which he had been screaming into and threw it out the 10th floor window of his office. The phone shattered the glass dropping shards down onto the street below.

50 is so pissed about the leak that he has threatened to leave Interscope today and will refuse to do any promotion for the new album.

Random Photos Part One

It may just be me, but I really think Claire is trying to show some type of emotion here. Could be gas, but I really think it's an emotion. She also looks pretty damn good here. Maybe she should stop wearing granny dresses she borrowed from Jennifer Love Hewitt and clothes that are 5 sizes too large for her and just start wearing shorts and a t-shirt everywhere.
Austin should just go ahead and get it chopped off. I really don't know what he's waiting for.
Everyone's favorite cross dresser Andre.
Do you think the girl in the photo recognizes Owen or is yelling at him to come back because he looks homeless and she wants to give him a quarter.

I'll be the first to admit that Nicole does look good here. She looks sexy and healthy.
For some reason I just loved Malan. I wish he hadn't been kicked off so soon into the show.
I think it's in his contract that he has to take off his shirt at some point each game. Even when he was injured and sitting in the owner's box, they made him take off his shirt.
Culkins just kind of multiply like Jacksons. Just when you think you have seen them all, forty more show up.

Must Be Something About Blondes

First there was Blonde Ambition and the recent announcement that it was going straight to video hell along with the career of Jessica Simpson, and now it turns out that Blonde and Blonder is also going straight to video. The movie has been ready since Cannes but had not been given a release date. Now the news is that it will never get a US one. The movie is expected to be a huge, embarrassing bomb in the US, but is actually expected to do decently overseas and perhaps make an overall profit because of the popularity of Pamela Anderson and the whorishness of Denise Richards.

Charlotte Gainsbourg In Elle Magazine

HFPA Installation Luncheon

I know you are asking yourself, "what the hell is the HFPA installation lunch and why are there so many big stars that came out in the daylight?" These are all good questions. HFPA is also known as the Golden Globes. Yes, these are the members of the foreign press who decide who gets the Golden Globe nominations. If you are asked to come to the lunch and you don't show up, then you are NOT getting nominated that year. Guaranteed.

The guest list is always fascinating because you have huge A list stars mingling with Sam Elliott and Peter Falk because the 80's and 90's are still popular back in the home countries of these reporters.

I think we would all have trouble finding a bigger ass than Marc Anthony. Anyone got someone better?
I mean who outside of Al Pacino in Scarface wears their clothes like this? He's stuck in a really bad Miami Vice episode. I also didn't know Jennifer was that good of an actress so she's probably laughing at him rather than with him.
Eva, Eva, Eva.
Charlize is their favorite and always will be. She's usually hot, foreign born, a great actress, and knows how to kiss foreign press ass. I must admit she looks really good here.
Billy Bush has taken his name way too literally. That is one big bush.
Speaking of bushes. No, not really. I think the last thing I actually watched with Sam Elliott in it was that really bad Whoopi movie. Yes, I know most of her movies were bad, but I mean the really bad movie. Not Jumping Jack Flash which you all know you watch. That movie has everyone in it. I love that movie.
Peter just comes for the booze.
This is noon and Jamie Foxx looks like a million bucks.

It's noon and Hillary Swank looks like $20.

One Day Rehab For Amy Winehouse

If Amy Winehouse went to rehab yesterday she must get out today. When Pete Doherty goes to rehab or is ordered to rehab by the court he never stays longer than 24 hours. They must have some kind of miracle cure in the UK.

Actually Amy's husband Blake is probably hoping she comes home in 24 hours because there's no one to sign the checks with her in rehab. Also, if she does come out sober and I really hope she does, then you know Blake will be out on his ass. It's bad enough that he made Amy change the damn guy in the rehab song from Ray to Blake. From what I can tell he forces her to wear the same clothes and shoes while he gets her whacked out on meth and heroin , steals money from her purse and then he goes out shopping while she is passed out. I think he pretty much stays sober and just helps her get trashed so he can spend some money. He's always wearing new clothes, has new jewelery and new artwork on his body.

He's actually a bigger leech than Pete. At least Pete could get work, he just doesn't usually show up for the work offered. As far as I can tell Blake has no career and is famous (get ready for this Ellen) for simply being the boyfriend of someone famous. Gasp! Shocker!

My Oprah moment. Amy if you stay sober for six months and kick Blake to the curb I will buy you some new teeth.

Ellen Pompeo Uses The Media To Say The Media Sucks

It seems that the only media Ellen Pompeo enjoys is Ass Kiss Magazine which is the print brethren of Ass Kiss King. In Ellen's world this is the only media. The media that will print or say exactly what she wants them to say and then get out their kneepads while they await further orders.

Unless the story is talking about Ellen and her fabulous engagement, then the media sucks. If for some reason they talk about her having a possible eating order or talk about the shady past of her boyfriend or how he is a big loser, then the media is irresponsible.

Ellen and all her fame says that the media shouldn't make people famous just for being famous and they should have actually done something to get media attention. Tell me exactly what you have done now to become famous? You have been on an ensemble television show with 10 other co-stars for 61 episodes. Before that it was just bit part after bit part but its okay for you to be famous and not say, for Nicole Richie.

Well Nicole has also done bit part after bit part in movies and television and then did 50 episodes of a two person show for which she was paid a bunch more than you. I'm no fan of the media making people famous simply because they are famous but have you ever thought about the fact that maybe they are more interesting than you or more newsworthy except when it comes to stories about your boyfriend who seems to be getting quite famous simply by being your boyfriend. You don't mean him of course though. Actually you don't know what you mean, you just knew it was summertime and not doing anything as usual and wanted to be in the media for something so you thought you would spout off and get some attention because your boyfriend wasn't giving you enough and the rest of the cast isn't playing nice at work.

P.S. I deleted you from my Old School DVD.