Friday, August 26, 2011

Random Photos Part Two

Is there a bigger story right now? Earthquake and hurricane in the same week. Sounds like a ho hum week in California. Seriously, everyone stay safe on the east coast.
Benicio del Toro is the model of fitness.
Charlotte Ross picked this up at the Black Swan discount store.
First time appearances for Tyler Labine and David Koechner. It is hard to believe David has not been in the photos.
Even harder to believe Martin Starr has not been in the photos.
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone out last night. You can tell Emma is distracted with thoughts of Jim Carrey.
Gwen Stefani looking great.
James Blake, the tennis player on the right looks more like a hockey player than Brad Richards who is a hockey player.
I have no words for how Serena Williams looks. Venus looks fantastic.

Random Photos Part One

Two parts today.

Jennifer Garner makes her first public appearance since announcing her pregnancy.
Joe Jonas gets groped by fans in Mexico City.
Apparently Joe is no longer Disney.
This is Kelly Bates. She and her husband are expecting their 19th child. The most shocking news is that
they don't have a show on TLC with their best friends the Duggars. Seriously. Best friends.
For the first time in her life, Kim Kardashian tastes solid food. Not sure what to make of it.
Because everyone wears a dress to snorkel. Come on Rihanna.
Valentina shows what she thinks of paps.
Tara Reid still classing up Celebrity Big Brother.
Taylor Swift and one of her dancers in South Carolina.

Your Turn

Today I would love to hear your natural disaster stories. If you have been in one, escaped from one, whatever it might be. If you have not been in one, which of these would scare you more? Oh, and for the sake of argument, lets us just say the strongest on record for any of them.

Seeing Paris Hilton without makeup

Jim Carrey's Butt

So, no one talks about Jim Carrey since the Jenny McCarthy split and then one day he starts a new website, needs hits so does an Emma Stone love letter which is so popular it crashes his site. Well, if you found the letter disturbing or creepy, then you are not alone. But, when you watch it the Ace Ventura way it gets so much better.

Lindsay Lohan Has A Huge Ego

Just days after begging Steven Soderbergh to tell everyone that he was not serious when he said he would not ever work with Lindsay Lohan, now comes a foreward that Lindsay wrote for a book. First of all, it always amazes me that Lindsay can read and write. Then I remember she got to stay in school until she was like 14, so she at least has some book learning. Ali? Don't really see her picking up books and magazines do you? No, I am sure she must be able to read. This is not My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Some author asked Lindsay to write a foreward for her book about Marilyn Monroe. Basically Lindsay spends the entire foreward discussing how she is jus like Marilyn. Huh? One had talent and one does not. One was funny and one is not. Hmmm. One made great movies and one made I Know Who Killed Me.

"I can understand the photographer Bernard of Hollywood's [Bruno Bernard] statement, it took a superhuman effort to be Marilyn. I identify."

I don't. I don't see how Lindsay and Marilyn are even close at all to each other. But wait, it gets worse. "Marilyn never wanted to be just a celebrity. Neither do I."

Did she keep a straight face when she wrote that? If she did then she is either a better actress than I thought or delusional. Her whole existence would turn into nothing if she was not a celebrity. It is only because she calls photographers and does everything she can to stay in the spotlight that she is even on the radar. Lindsay had a decent run many years ago. Many. Do you know how many bodies of actors are littered over time who had a decent run many years ago and are never heard from again. If the paps went away tomorrow, what do you think Lindsay would do? She would beg them to come back. It is the only thing she knows.

You think this is as bad as it can get, but it gets even worse.

"Heath Ledger once said to me, 'It's built you up to knock you down and that's all it is.'"

She actually name dropped Heath Ledger. Is this so everyone thinks she and Heath were really great friends? Because they were not. Is it so everyone thinks Lindsay is on the same acting level as Heath and this was some in depth acting discussion because she is not half the actor Heath was. I can't believe she brought his name up.

Cheryl And Ashley Cole Together Again?

You know, if someone cheats on you once, depending on how long you have been together and your history, there may be forgiveness and a reconciliation. If the person cheats on you a second time and a third and a fourth and then runs out of fingers and toes, then I think it is time to move on because if you don't, then you look like a doormat. Well, Cheryl Cole must have been brainwashed because even though she divorced Ashley Cole for cheating on her way more than that, they are back together. I know Cheryl was probably desperate to get away from Derek Hough, but going back to Ashley? It is not like he has been a monk since they split. He has dated a few women and had sex with plenty more. I don't understand why Cheryl would take the guy back. I mean the guy was having sex with people from their first weeks of marriage. Heck, before then and continued up to the second they got divorced.

Ted C Blind Item

The sexy-ass life (and wife) Hard-Nipple Nick set up for himself years ago is getting so complicated lately. As if agreeing that your wife could have her lovers while you have yours could ever be an easy arrangement for very long! Hot, yeah, but, easy?

Not anymore. Here's what's unraveling:

The trust. And we don't mean between Hard-Nipple and his missus. More like the help.

You know, all those peeps rich folks like Mr. Nick always have around? Sure, they've all signed confidentiality agreements, but, you think they all pay attention to those legal handcuffs? Actually, yes, most within the Nick household do.

Just not all. Two employees very close to Hard-Nipple are opening their traps about their employer's imaginative marital arrangement, and word's starting to get out lately—much more than it has in the past. Regarding what an active, lively and rather democratic love-life (with more attention to the boys than to the girls we must add) Hard enjoys!

So, perhaps Nick's legal eagles might want to look in the direction of those sleeping near Hard-Nipple, as opposed to those right next to (which is where they're currently focused).

AND IT AIN'T: Jensen Ackles, Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck

More Aliens In Siberia

I have not listened to Coast To Coast the past two nights, but I bet it has just been non-stop UFO talk. Do aliens have a problem with London or New York or Sydney or Beijing? I would love to see some alien land in a very big city instead of always in the middle of nowhere Siberia. If you will notice, I left off Los Angeles on the list above. That is because everyone here would just think a movie was being filmed so no one would get excited unless the spaceship blocked traffic.

A few months ago in Siberia two students fooled much of the world with their dead alien photos. Thing is the alien was made out of bread. Well, now comes reports from at least two independent witnesses of a UFO. It kind of looks like Christmas lights wrapped around a shiny object. The event was also captured on grainy video. Look at how this happens in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night but someone has a camera ready to go. That makes me suspicious. It could just mean though that aliens like good vodka.

Four For Friday

#1 & #2 & #3- This actress is on television and movies and has an easy name, but you would be hard pressed to place her or to come up with the names of any of her projects. She is in plenty of projects which include many kinds of media. Anyway, she was recently given a party in her honor. I know, like a real one, not some guys in a frat house saying, whoo hoo, lets watch videos of so and so and put her posters up on the wall while we sacrifice beer bottles in her honor. Anyway, when the organizers tried to get people to attend, for the most part everyone said no. Lots of creative excuses, but lots of no's. Organizers were completely baffled. This is an actress who has worked with a lot of people, how come no one says yes? Well, when they dug a little deeper, they discovered that this A- list movie actress spread the word that no one was to have anything to do with the other actress who we can call No Friends. The reason? No Friends has been a regular long-time (going back a couple of years) sex buddy of the A- list actress' significant other who is a pains me to say A- list movie and television actor. In fact, No Friends might be the cause of the recent rift between the couple.

#4 - This B list comedienne who has been in television and movies recently went off on a rant about Scientology in front of a group of people, not realizing that two belonged to the organization. When they started to challenge her on something, the comedienne had a light go off and asked if they were involved with it. They said yes and she told them to run for their lives and then walked away.

Derek Jeter's Girlfriend And Derek Jeter Break Up

No longer will Minka Kelly be able to be referred to solely as Derek Jeter's girlfriend, now she will be forced to actually use her name. You could say Derek Jeter's ex girlfriend but that list is longer than a short arm inspection after a night with Paris Hilton. I know Jessica Alba is on that Derek ex list, but is Mariah Carey too? I can't remember. Anyway, Minka was the one doing the announcing so she must have found someone already and she also provided a "source" who said they are still friends. That source of course is the PR person but it looks much better when you call them a source because it looks like you did real reporting and stuff.

Minka Kelly is 31, who wants to bet that Derek goes way younger than her for his next girlfriend. Mid 20's maybe.

Russell Armstrong And His Gay Lover

The National Enquirer found someone who says that he had a year long gay fling with Russell Armstrong. The person does not want to be named but is the assistant for a celebrity. Uh huh. An assistant to one of the Real Housewives? The assistant said he met Russell at a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills party. Hmmmm. Kyle's assistant? Apparently you have to read the magazine to get the details about the affair so if someone is in the store today and standing in the checkout line, let us know if we are missing anything juicy. I don't think a revelation like this would cause Russell to commit suicide. I think it was the wife beating thing that pushed him over the edge.

Joshua Powell's Home Searched

After two years of pretty much no police activity in the disappearance of Susan Powell, with one revelation by Susan's father-in-law and then the whole case gets new life. I don't think anything was ever going to happen, but then when the father-in-law talks about the sexual touching and the flirting with his daughter-in-law then the police get interested. So, yesterday police searched through Joshua's house which he shares with his dad. Obviously Joshua doesn't care about his dad having sex with Josh's wife if they are living together.

Did anyone watch the interview on ABC? The dad is creepy. Really creepy. As in I am not sure he actually slept with Susan, but he said weird things like she would let him smell her hair when she got out of the shower and they sexually touched. Like how? See, it is creepiness like that which makes me think he might have been the one to kill her. If it were a movie it would be because if he could not have her then no one could, but you would see him hovering over some box with her hair in it that he smells right next to the shampoo which some company would have paid to have placed there. Even horror movies need product placement.

Kardashians Spread Like Cockroaches

Just when you spent most of the past few days praying that the E! special featuring Kim Kardashian will bomb when it airs which would probably cause E! to kick them to the curb, comes news that Kris Jenner is moving to network television. Yes, you heard that correctly. Now that hosts on The Talk have been fleeing for their lives from Julie Chen, CBS needed new hosts and one of them is Kris Jenner. How did she get the job? Her daughter f**ked someone on tape. Must be a proud moment for Kris to know she can owe her network job to her daughter wanting to be a porn star. I have no idea what CBS is thinking. None.

The other person CBS is bringing on board is Sheryl Underwood. I think Sheryl is funny, and is a much better choice than Kris Jenner. I can just hear the suits at CBS deciding that since Holly Robinson Peete is leaving, they better find another African-American woman to replace her. As much as I like Sheryl though, she is no Holly. It is like CBS suddenly decided to try and make their talk show go from B listers to a bad season of DWTS.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

Today we’re talking about a comedian on an East Coast cable show. He makes a lot of good money and a lot of good jokes but what he hasn’t been making lately, is a lot of good decisions. Apparently he recently trashed the set of his show after going on a three-day drug binge. The network is now considering getting rid of him

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Uncle Frank

Because I did not post yesterday, I was unable to pay any kind of tribute to Uncle Frank from The Jimmy Kimmel show. Today I make up for that.

An Accident Huh?

This is like the episode of Jerry Seinfeld when Kramer was the assman. That was the episode where a doctor said no one gets anything up the butt by accident. So, when Gareth Durrant says that a high pressure air hose accidentally got up his butt and caused him to inflate, one has to wonder how exactly it got there.

"I was reaching up to finish the wiring on a caravan at the factory. I knew this air hose was being used close behind me but I just carried on the job as normal.
The next thing I knew I felt this strong air being blown on my legs from behind, and then something went up my rectum through the shorts I was wearing.
It felt like I had been blown up, it was the biggest shock of my life. There was air fizzing around inside my back passage and stomach, it was so weird."

Uh huh. Sounds like Gareth and his friends probably had a wager about something or he wanted the sensation but did not want to tell his wife. Gareth has not been able to work since.

Last Photos Of Robyn Gardner

Aruba police are trying again to get a break in the disappearance of Robyn Gardner so released photos which were taken two hours before she was reported as missing. Could she be about to go snorkeling? I guess so. People in the restaurant say they were surprised to hear she was going snorkeling because she had a dress on and wearing makeup. That to me does not really count for anything because it takes five minutes to go change.

However, it was about 415pm when the photo was taken which is kind of late in the day to be headed out for snorkeling. The police have already stated there is one witness who said he did not see the couple snorkeling. The police also said yesterday that the story about a rock with the bloody hand print is not true and no suck rock exists.

Apparently Robyn sent a message to her ex boyfriend saying she loved him which caused Gary Giordano to kill her. I think he was planning on killing her anyway. I think sometimes the ex boyfriend is sending stories out to news outlets to make himself and Robyn look better. For instance, I think he is the one who is saying that Robyn and Gary were not intimate. It might be true, but how would he know and also was Gary taking the porn pictures just for kicks and didn't want sex? Maybe. Robyn told her ex she was going to visit friends in Florida and said nothing about Aruba.

To me it looks more and more like Gary is going to get away with the murder.

Christina Aguilera Not Beating Her Son

After photos of Max Bratman surfaced with the 3 year old sporting a black eye, Media Takeout got a little carried away and said Christina Aguilera was responsible for the black eye, as in a beating kind of way. Christina says Max was running in the park chasing squirrels and tripped and got the black eye. That story sounds plausible, but what did he bang his eye on? Tell me the last time you fell on the ground and got a black eye. Think of a way it is possible. You would have to fall and use your face to break the fall rather than another part of the body. That is the reason we hold out our hands when we fall, because the body will sacrifice a broken hand for the safety of an eye or face.

It is not that I don't believe Christina's version of events, although she was probably not there to view it if it happened at any time during happy hour or the hours following it. He could have tripped and fell and hit his face on a bench? A knee?

Paris Hilton Show Gets Canceled

Oxygen has had enough of Paris Hilton. After just one very quick season, Paris' show was sent packing. Some of the lowest ratings in Oxygen history contributed to the demise of the show. I really hope this is the stake in the heart of any kind of career for Paris. I watched the entire season but only to see Brooke Mueller. If Brooke was not in it than I fast forwarded. I am glad that my actions did not in any way contribute to Paris getting another season. I think producers knew Paris was awful in it and probably saw dailies and said we have to get someone else in this thing because Paris looks like a spoiled idiot. She is one of course, but the producers wanted to minimize that so they brought in Brooke who was great. Her story and her parents captivated me. I seriously think she has the worst parents of any celebrity. Yes, right up there with Thora Birch's dad and Ryan O'Neal. Who has people over for drinks and partying in front of their just got out of rehab daughter? You would think Oxygen would sign Brooke up for her own show but I think the problem there would be Brooke would then have control over editing which she did not have on Paris' show so it would not be as good.

Have you also noticed how Paris and Brooke have not spent a second together since the show stopped taping? Real friendship there.

Today's Blind Items

Kind of obscure, but shocking. Really shocking. I actually thought about making this not a blind item, but then decided the woman is entitled to her privacy. The story should come out in the next few days and there will be enough detail for everyone to know I was first, but I just can't be the first to give the woman's name. Anyway, this D lister who has been in one documentary in which he starred and has had several appearances on television as his character is getting divorced. So, where is the shock? Well, the shock is that his soon to be ex says that he raped her and also fears for her life and the life of their cat when he is around.

A Rihanna Sex Tape Sounds Kind Of Boring

Hustler says they have a sex tape of Rihanna and I am kind of blah about it. She basically has sex in some of her music videos and performances on stage and everyone has already seen her naked, so what is left to see. Hustler does not even know what to do with it, but I presume that answer is easy. Just because I am blah about it does not mean the rest of the world is not and they will probably release it. The tape apparently is of Rihanna and J. Cole who have a mutual admiration society. What would be interesting is the timing of the whole tape. Was Rihanna with Matt Kemp at the time and hey, wait a second. I think I had a blind item about this didn't I? This sounds really familiar. To me the whole cheating or not cheating is way more interesting than watching Rihanna looking at herself in a mirror while having sex. Yes, just like Paris.

National Enquirer Blind Item

Which high-profile Hollywood couple’s marriage is hanging by a thread?
The B-list stars are desperate to reignite their old passion, so they’ve initiated “date night” three times a week and leave the kiddies at home with the nannies.

Will & Jada & Marc

Since I missed a day of Will and Jada coverage yesterday, I feel left out and was not able to discuss with anyone yesterday about it so that kind of sucks. I mean this is the kind of story you like discussing with people. I can see Will & Jada getting divorced. That part shocked me for like two seconds and then you realize they must have some serious arguments, then there is the whole plays with whom stuff to discuss and the rules on that and that alone is enough to drive a couple to break.

About the whole Marc Anthony thing. Where do you think these stories have been coming from? Who would know about what Marc Anthony was doing? Did you answer Jennifer Lopez? Considering she is the one who introduced everyone to each other, I think she was ticked off. She can handle all the back up singer romances and the groupie quickies, but this one would embarrass her. This one probably stung so what better way to sting back then to become a source.

Meanwhile, Will & Jada did the want to be seen looking happy thing in Malibu to prove they are a couple. Why even bother? No one is going to care if they divorce except their kids, and only the younger ones at that since Will's oldest from his previous marriage does not have the best relationship with Jada. Well, no one really does.

Does Any Celebrity Actually Go To Jail?

Do you remember back in the day when Robert Downey Jr actually went to jail? Do you remember what happened to him when he got out? Yep, he went clean and sober and had his career take off again. If some judge had just let Robert slide the guy would probably be dead right now and we would be talking about missed opportunities. It seems now though if you have any kind of name you never go to jail. Paris went for a few weeks a few years ago, but a few weeks is nothing. I am talking about getting serious time. Robert is the last one in California I can think of who really got serious time. Even further back in the day Sean Penn got like a month or maybe more when he assaulted a photographer.

In New York they put celebrities in jail. Lil'Wayne, Ja Rule, and others and it appears to work. I am not a throw everyone in jail kind of guy, but I am a treat everyone the same kind of guy. Redmond O'Neal was sentenced to probation yesterday after pleading guilty to drug and gun charges. Those same charges would have got him a year in New York, especially with his past record. Instead, he is free to keep on keeping on. I think it is just a matter of time before he dies either by overdose or suicide. He has no parental supervision, his friends are the ones who enable him and siblings who could help, are more interested in their own careers. Redmond is like at drug arrest 10 or something. I have a hard time believing that one of us would be given the same kind of breaks.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

This private person and award-winning, A-list actress is hooking up with her ex who is a musician. The two have been on and off secretly since they broke up several years ago. He is in a relationship but can’t stay away from his former flame.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Late Night

I had a really late night last night, woke up late and will not have access to a computer today. Sorry, but I will see you tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Random Photos Part Three

Nick Ashford - RIP
Aaron Paul does his best Joel Madden look, minus the tattoos and a bad Hilary Duff breakup. You forgot about that didn't you?
A Rod tries to remember the stripper's phone number as he signs an autograph.
Brad Pitt meets a bunch of soccer players in Scotland.
Cher being Cher.
Frances Bean is 19.

Hilary goes for the sly middle finger. Big fan of that move.
Do you remember the scene in Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald's grandmother says, "Look dear. Sam got her boobies." This is what Helen Mirren is doing to Jessica Chastain.

Random Photos Part Two

Jimmy Buffet - Jones Beach, NY
Congrats to Gaffleck who announced they are expecting their third child.
Kelly Osbourne tries out her superhero outfit.
Katie Holmes got to be alone yesterday, hence the smile.
Better stick with singing Mariah, because I don't think this whole dog walking gig is going to work for you.
Who is Paul Rudd loving on?
His step sister. Well, at least in the movie. It is a Clueless reunion.
Joyce DeWitt looks pretty great considering all that she has been through.
Also looking very good, Hugh Dancy.


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