Friday, June 13, 2008

Four For Friday

I didn't do a Your Turn today because I couldn't think of a topic. Well, actually that isn't true, I did think of a topic and it was a pretty good one, but to make it work, I would have had to allow anonymous comments for the day and seeing as how someone is back who shall not be named, the last thing I wanted to do today was have anonymous comments. Maybe we can try it next week. I just wanted people to be able to participate, but not have to give their identity. I also feel since it is called Your Turn that everyone who reads should be able to participate. Like I said, maybe next week. On a side note, I just saw that R. Kelly was found not guilty. That is some f**ked up s**t.

Now, on with the show.

#1 - I think two days ago I wrote about the actress who got her first prescription filled for the herp. Well here is something else she got filled. A wedding license. I know, I know. I haven't even seen her with her dude in a few weeks, but apparently they tied the knot. Considering I haven't seen them together in a few weeks, it could prove to be a very short marriage. Wonder if the herp had anything to do with the wedding.

#2 - I have been meaning to share this one for the past week and I keep forgetting. You know the female singer dating the "porn star?" Yep, they made a sex tape. The last film the "porn star" made put us all to sleep. This one though should probably make for a really funny comedy. I cannot wait to see if this one comes out. I might actually buy it instead of stealing it from the internet.

#3 - At a recent party this celebrity chef was all lovey dovey to his no name girlfriend. Holding hands, kissing, everything. Really sweet. UNTIL, this celebrity with a famous body and famous ex boyfriend started flirting with him when the girlfriend was mingling with others. Quicker than you can say 30 minute meals, Bam!, Good Eats! or whatever the catch phrase that may or may not apply here, phone numbers were exchanged and plans to meet the next night when girlfriend was going to be out of town. This by the way is not the first time this has happened.

#4 - Speaking of affairs, this one is much juicier. I mean the one from above is kind of juicy, but it isn't like either party is married. Not so, the case in this one. First we have an actress. Young. If not in her teens, then she must be just out. C list actress, but on an A list television show. Recurring role. Almost every episode. She is single. Our actor is older. I'm thinking mid-30's. Married with child(ren). Been married for sometime. On set romance. He has been in some really BIG films. B- lister. Would you know his name? Probably if you read this blog. The average person would just know his face. He has been kicked out of his house. She still lives primarily at home with her parents. (Not Hayden P)

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Tim Russert - RIP

My original plan was to say something snarky like a couple that gets work together stays together, but then I realized I used that line with the pumping yesterday, and then I also figured that Warren Beatty was getting an award and so he deserves a little respect. That, and I just love The Great Outdoors so much that I just can never really say anything bad about Annette Bening.

How can you ever say anything bad about Art Garfunkel? Well you could start with the hair. Love him.
It must be secret confession day. First Great Outdoors and now this. Loved Johnny B Goode. I know, I know, but I really liked it and it was the first time I ever met Uma and so I just can't say anything bad about it.
So Calum Best is doing some reality show for MTV where he is going to be celibate for 30 days. BFD. Throw in some porn and you have that taken care of. Yes, I speak from personal experience. What I want to see is Calum going without drugs for 30 days. Now that would be reality television worth watching.
The cool photo of the day goes to Cody Green.
The makes me want to laugh photo of the day comes from the Daddy Of All Dance Offs.

And it was judged by Cameron Mathison and Lonnie Quinn.
Cyndi Lauper wanting to perform on CBS, but had to cancel because CBS couldn't get their act together.
Fortunately for Cyndi, ABC knows how to plug in a wire and so she performed there.

I really wish the internet had been around during Faye Dunaway's prime. I bet she could have blown away Naomi Campbell in a cell phone throwing contest. Of course that would assume that cell phones also existed at that time.

The lovely Eva Mendes.
Yes, that is Eric Dane without a shirt on, and yes, that is Rebecca Gayheart without a top on as well.
Want to know what David Geffen is really like? This is pretty much it 24/7. I think he probably sleeps like this.

Isaac Hayes - New York

I was going to make some kind of comment about Seal and deodorant, but then realized it is a design. May want to rethink that one.
Nothing to say. I just know lots of you watch the show.
If you ever have to pick someone other than Kevin Bacon to play six degrees with, Glenne Headly is the person you want to grab for your female choice.
George Clooney and his friend.
The amazing Lainie Kazan. I want to thank Jerry who sent me the photos of Lainie naked after her last appearance in the photos. I have forwarded those photos to about a million people since. She was indeed a hottie back in the day.

Kenny Chesney - New York
Just because I feel like I have to. I mean it is a gossip blog.
Javier Garcia - Los Angeles
Jane Fonda looks pretty damn good.

Stone Gods - Castle Donington

Sandra Bullock on the set of her new film.
Rainn Wilson promoting as only Rainn can.
Our lovely reader photo of the day.
I actually think Marc Summers has been annoying since the days of Double Dare. I know, I know, I have sat through Food Network marathons with him, but only because the subject was interesting, not because of him.

Would you believe it's Xanadu The Musical? Good, because it is.

The Wombats - Isle Of Wight
If I started working out 50 years ago and kept at it every day, I still would not look as good as Tyson Beckford.
The Answer - Isle Of Wight
This is the 2007 Playmate of The Year. After she walked the red carpet, she took a pregnancy test, and yes, David Spade is the father.

Reader Review - Airborne Toxic Event

I'm working on getting the readers in other parts of the world involved in all these reviews, but it seems for now, the NY and LA readers kind of have a lock. This is the latest, and is one of the ones I was most excited to read about because I love The Airborne Toxic Event. If you are in LA, they are going to be at Spaceland next week. Sold out, but, hey, someone will do a no show and I'm sure you can buy a ticket off someone. Our reader wanted some initials, and so, I bring you MI. No, not the state. Although, I will say that Michigan is a lovely place and really has pleasant weather this time of the year.

The Airborne Toxic Event @ Pianos in NYC

You know you’re going to have a good night when it starts with trannies. I made the right onto Ludlow after hopping off the F-train on E. Houston and walked right into a full-on tranny photo shoot. (I would have a picture for you guys, but you don’t interrupt trannies when they are doing their thing- especially trannies on the LES).

Got to the bar and grabbed the cheapest beer they had- Pabst Blue Ribbon. Pianos is a funky hipster bar on 158 Ludlow at Stanton. In case some of you are rusty on your hipster definition, I pulled the following from, which pretty much sums it up:

“Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.) Probably tattooed. Maybe gay. Definitely cooler than you…Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often…Always denies being a hipster... Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt)…Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Camel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine. Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR. Always on the list. Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies. Name-drops. May go by "Penny Lane," "Eleanor Rigby," etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually…”

Caption: The photo is a bit blurry b/c of hipsters trying to pass behind me (Hipsters become hostile when you come in between them and the seats/stage/PBR.)

Anyway, The Airborne Toxic Event is all indie rock and consists of Mikel (singer/songwriter/guitar), Steve (guitar/keyboard), Noah (bass), Daven (drums) and the gorgeous Anna (electric violin, keyboard, guitar) The band’s name is taken from a Don DeLillo book called “White Noise,” which ultimately explores the effects of an increasingly media-saturated and shallow culture. Mikel formed the band after experiencing a series of tragic events (i.e. his mom was diagnosed with cancer), much like the story’s protagonist, who is forced to confront his own mortality.

The Airborne Toxic Event is huge in LA and I can see why- Mikel’s voice totally reminds me of Talking Heads lead singer David Byrne- with it’s pure, raw emotion- while their music evokes The Cure, Yeah Yeah Yeah’s and Strokes. On stage, they go totally loose, moving to the music the way most of us do only when we’re sure no one can see us. They hop, twist, shake and wail while the whole room moves with them.

Most of the crowd I spoke with had heard of the show via great reviews on LA blogs, not knowing that the LA Times has named them one of three bands to watch in 2008- totally deserved. If you’re on the West Coast you’ve probably heard a few of their tunes on the radio like “Does This Mean You’re Moving On?” and “Sometime Around Midnight.”

Turns out Kiefer Sutherland showed up at one of the band’s concerts in LA shortly after getting out of jail. According to multiple witnesses, Kiefer was on the dance floor all night- so wasted he probably doesn’t even remember them. He was still on the dance floor even after the music had stopped. Alexis Bledel has also caught a show or two.

The band’s album comes out on August 5th and if I didn’t steal all my music online, I’d totally line up to buy it. When The Airborne Toxic Event does blow up on the East Coast, which is inevitable, the hipster crowd will move on, but the rest of us will have a totally original 5-person band entirely deserving of their notoriety.

(Despite the molester stash, Daven’s really down-to-earth and funny.)

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Premiership footballer has such an incredibly large, er, centre forward to go with his massive ball skills team-mates have nicknamed him The Horse?

Hi, I'm Taylor Hicks And I'm A Publicity Whore

Ahh. Taylor Hicks. You remember him don't you? American Idol winner that has unfortunately not gone off quietly to that good night. No, I don't want the f**ker dead, I just like that line. Yes, I know all of you Taylor Hicks fans will write in and tell me about him being in Grease or the sold out show he did at Bob's Jiffy Lube or whatever, but the fact is, in about a year or two we won't be talking about him.

Hell, I wouldn't even be talking about him today except he went out and got himself some publicity. I will admit it was creative. As you can see from the photo above, Taylor is not above exploiting the fame of others for his own personal benefit. The Jonas Brothers were scheduled to be at Regis & Kelly and knowing there would be a million screaming fans there, Taylor got on a bus and went and stood with the crowd. His next act was to take the sign above from a fan, make sure the producers of Regis & Kelly knew who he was and that he was there and then got his 30 seconds on air and in the tabloids and on here. In the future when you steal a sign, you may want to read what the sign says. I don't even want to understand or try to comprehend how they would rock your world.

Tricks like this work a few times to keep you in the public eye, but it is also kind of obnoxious to do so at the expense of another group. Not that Taylor Hicks has any problems being obnoxious.

Not Paying For The Cow? No One Even Wants A Steak

Last week or earlier this week or maybe in my imagination I wrote about how Mariah Carey had decided that she only wanted wedding gifts. Screw having a wedding or a reception or anything like that. She just wanted gifts and as such had registered for the most expensive ones she could find.

Well, it may have seemed to you that seemed odd. No, not the gift getting part. Come on. She was put on this earth to get gifts and to ask for them. No, I'm talking about the fact that she is not the kind of person to pass up being the center of attention for a few months during the wedding planning and definitely for that very special day and night.

The problem is that since her new husband can't afford to give her the type of party or reception she wants, then she was going to have to pay for it herself. Ummm. No. So, she decided that she would sell the photos to the wedding and get the money for it that way. Ummm. Good idea except that according to MSNBC no one wanted to pay. Why the hell should they? Mariah and Nick have been everywhere, spoken about their wedding to everyone and so there would really be nothing left to buy. It would just be Mariah at a party dressed like a hooker and there are already lots and lots of those photos in the world.

No money. No wedding. Just the gifts please.

Martha Wainwright Is Nuts

Martha Wainwright really needs to think before she opens her mouth to speak. Of course if she did that, then there probably would have been no need for me to post anything that came out of her mouth, or ever even to mention her except in passing as the sister of Rufus Wainwright.

In a recent interview, Martha said that "drugs in music is normal." She went on to say that she has done lots of drugs and credited them with expanding her mind. She went on to say, "I had a great experience with narcotics. They have expanded my mind, maybe not as much as they have ruined it, but I think it's a part of life and being young and in the music and art scene. There are a lot worse things that people can do."

I think she is exactly what is wrong with the world of celebrity today. I don't think taking drugs is necessarily a part of life, and as she even says in the next breath it has ruined her mind more than expanded it. I think that is pretty f**king obvious by the statements she is making. Why does being into music or the art scene give you permission to take drugs and say, being a garbage collector doesn't?

This has got to be one of the most idiotic statements I have read in a very long time. To make matters worse she then adds the part about how there are worse things to do in life other than drugs. Sure there are. You could drink and drive or kill someone. Other than those two things I am having a tough time coming up with things that are worse than as she says it herself, "ruining your mind."

What exactly does she think is worse than taking drugs? Tell me how taking drugs helps people or yourself. Now the really sad thing is that someone will hear her say this or read it somewhere and say to themselves, Martha said it was normal to take drugs if I am a musician. They can read those words at their funeral when they overdose.

Kids Fashion Line Perhaps?

Michael Jackson is in the process of designing his very own fashion line. He and Christian Audigier are in the first phases of designing the line and hope to have something out in the stores by the spring. Now, that report comes from Life & Style. They really don't have anything else to say about it except for the fact that Michael is spending all of his own money to do it.

I'm just kind of wondering what kinds of clothes he is designing that people will want to wear. I can't even think of a time in my life where I said to myself, "OMG, look what Michael is wearing. I need that." There have been times in my life when I have looked at Michael though and said, "WTF is he wearing?"

With that being said, Michael probably does have a lot of experience with children's fashions. He has probably worn them, seen them, removed them, and really just investigated them thoroughly. Therefore, it probably makes the most sense for him to design a line for kids. Of course he will need lots of real models to try on his clothes and lots and lots of fittings and private runway shows just to make sure he gets everything just right. Of course he doesn't have to look very far to find kids to play with since he has some of his own. Yeah. Think about that. Have you really thought about that?

Angelina Wants Billy Bob Back

Well, I'm not so sure about Angelina Jolie actually wanting Billy Bob back, but Billy Bob seems to think that at some point in the next couple of year she is going to come crawling back to Billy Bob and begging for him to take her back.

At a press conference for the release of his new album (way to get it noticed) Billy Bob said that age wise, Angelina Jolie is going through high school right now and that Brad Pitt is the quarterback of the football team. One question before I go on is that if she is in high school now, does that mean Billy Bob was f**king her when she was in elementary school, because that just seems wrong.

Billy Bob says that when she gets out of this current phase, she will be dying for a little Billy Bob loving. He, on the other hand says though that he may, or may not be available when she finally does beg Billy Bob to take him back.

Sounds like someone still has a thing for Angelina. Problem is that he didn't want one kid. Next month there will be six to deal with and by the time Angelina graduates from high school she might have three or four more.

Ted C. Blind Item

“He’s in the bathroom doing coke, and he will not come out!” screamed exhausted old colleagues of Fart-Coif Cretin, who used to be a mucho famous member of a celebrated Hell-Ay comedy house. And just to torture his former fellow actors, Fart-Coif recently decided to revisit the theater where he hasn't exactly been encouraged to perform onstage. Didn’t stop him from pulling a real Morgan Mayhem in the men’s room, now, did it!

Similar to our darling Morg, who’s known for not only doing the blow but the ladies, too, when she visits the loo, Fart-Coif leans toward same-sex nookie. But these days, F.C. is so damn effed up, getting it up is about the last thing he’d be interested in accomplishing. So there he is, finally deciding to come out of the john, high as a Kurt Cobain kite. Decides to sit down for the show. Doesn’t listen much. In fact, F.C. ends up disrupting the performances so imppressively he’s kicked out and, now, wholly unwelcome to revisit the comedy theater.

The fact that F.C. raided the fridge, insulted his former TV costars, smoked pot, stole drinks and insulted everyone he came in contact with while there prolly didn’t help, either.

Does Dr. Drew do comics who were never funny in the first place? Have to find out about that one.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Today's Blind Items

This one kind of freaked me out a bit. Not because of the content so much because, lets face it, this kind of thing happens. The part that freaked me out was that I had no idea that this A- list actress with A+ name recognition did coke. Apparently she loves it. Did I mention she is married? Well she is and there have always been questions about her marriage, so I'm not really surprised she went after a hot looking no name actor from her latest film. Hell, her husband would probably go after him if given the chance as well. Our no name actor loves coke but could never really afford it. Well, with his new mistress that isn't any kind of problem because she buys him whatever he wants plus coke. He told his friends that her favorite game is to do lines right off his chest. Since they got back from their press tour, their time has been limited, but during the entire press tour they were together 24/7 leaving poor hubby back at home. Not that he's actually money poor himself mind you. Poor as an expression.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Can you think of a better way to start than with Cate Blanchett? Apparently though people in Sydney must not know who she is because they gave her a name badge which probably put little pin holes in a very expensive dress.
Sticking with the pin theme, and no Boy George isn't a pin head. Just referring to those safety pins on every piece of that outfit. I wonder if they match the pin he is rumored to have, yeah, you know where. Damn that must have hurt. I think this would also be time to admit that I do still listen to Culture Club.
I don't think that whole dog walking job thing is going to work out for Adam Goldberg.
Datarock - Miami

I can't decide if Mel B and Dana Delaney are making fun of the size of Eddie Murphy's d**k or if Dana is just laughing at Mel B because she actually had sex with Eddie.
Christopher Titus is one funny guy.
Oh, what the hell? More hockey players for everyone. This is Chris Osgood.
Cage The Elephant - Manchester
Ladytron - Miami

Justin Timberlake just always has that same damn smirk on his face that says he thinks he is better than all of us. Well f**k him. Someone should because you know Jessica Biel isn't.
A boy named Goo and his bag and a really cheap tip and a really bad haircut.
Frank Woodley - H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
I really would have loved to have been at this dinner with David Walliams and Kate Beckinsale. Then Kate and I could have left David and gone back to my place where Kate could re-enact scenes from The Last Days Of Disco. Oh yeah baby. Got the mirror ball, the roller skates. The problem is the basement has shag carpeting and about 5 square feet of roller skating space, but still, the idea is solid.

Oh Susanna Hoffs. What could have been. Of course the fact that she and Jay Roach are so damn happy makes me feel even more miserable for thinking about what could have been so then I get this whole guilty feeling thing going on which of course leads to the rinking which of course leads to the drunk dialing which of course leads to the fact she has changed her phone number 47 times. It is really hard to believe she is going to be 50 in January.

Our lovely reader photo and our reader is on the right although I do hope she has managed to convert the woman on the left.
Mariska Hargitay and the apron that wouldn't stop growing.
Matt Damon on the set of his new film.
Even the Olsen twins peed themselves laughing when they saw this.

I'm thinking about making this blog all about Deschanel. Nothing but Zooey and Emily 24/7.

Knowing that Verne Troyer will take a piss almost anywhere makes me really concerned about the wiseness of placing the Stanley Cup anywhere near him.
This is a substitute teacher in the UK. As kids are wont to do when there is a substitute, they were not paying attention and so he said if they didn't start listening to him he would strip and show them his man boobs.
Well at least he is a man of his word, although he is now a man without a job.
Sumner Redstone. You may be last in the photos sir, but not in my mind. In my opinion it is Sumner who is most responsible for driving Tom Cruise into his current downward spiral and so thank you for that. Yes, Sumner can be a prick, but I'm still grateful.


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