Saturday, February 17, 2018

Blind Items Revealed #5

August 15, 2017

This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor who used to be a solid A list cheated on his last two famous girlfriends and insists that all the women he sleeps with be willing to have threesomes.

Orlando Bloom

Blind Items Revealed #4

August 14, 2017

Teen Choice Awards

This foreign born B list mostly television actress who is in her first big English language hit recently got engaged to this A+ list singer who rarely sings in English. The thing is though she was telling people last night some things that totally contradict being engaged.

Emeraude Toubia/Prince Royce

Blind Items Revealed #3

August 14, 2017

Teen Choice Awards

Basically an in house A- list Disney actress, our actress is now legal. She isn't legal to drink and if she wants work outside the mouse house should probably refrain from being sloppy wasted and then puking at after parties which is becoming her usual thing. That being said she is a very fun drunk.

Peyton List

Blind Items Revealed #2

August 14, 2017

Teen Choice Awards

Even in family groups, someone is always unhappy. Arguably the most famous member of this group wants the fame and fortune for herself and not shared. She also thinks the group is holding back her craft. Yeah, she said craft.

Sydney Sierota/Echosmith

Blind Items Revealed #1

August 14, 2017

Teen Choice Awards

This B list actress from a long running movie franchise just got her drivers license but was telling the drooling men two and three times her age hitting on her that she was 21. Even if she told them the truth, most wouldn't care. Between the TCA and Kids' Choice, you see the underbelly of sexual deviants.

Isabela Moner

Blind Item #9

This former B list reality star who is the celebrity offspring of a permanent A lister in his corner of the entertainment world. The former reality star got into trouble awhile back and is apparently boozing and abusing drugs again and refuses to go to rehab.

Blind Item #8

So, working out the timeline, the boyfriend is not the father of the upcoming baby of this Teen Mom. I would say the odds are 70% it is the deadbeat ex who would LOVE to get his hands on some child support money and 30% it is the random stranger from Twitter. 

Blind Item #7

This former cable reality star in a franchise wants everyone to know that she hooked up with a former reality star who is A++ list now when they were on a show together. She just can't say it out loud for legal reasons.

Blind Item #6

This former music video actress turned author turned reality star turned frequent abuser of men has got her meds completely wrong and is not listening to her doctors. She is going to end up killing someone or her self unless she starts taking her doctor's advice.

Blind Item #5

This former stripper turned reality star turned celebrity turned give me some money and I can do what you want me to do is really spinning a success story. Yes, she is getting some money from a company but the only way she gets the maximum that she leaked to the tabloids is if a not going to happen sales number is achieved. Very very very low six figures is probably what the deal will end up paying.

Blind Item #4

This A+ list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee is doing her best to try and get back at this A+ list singer by trying to out the singer in a very roundabout way.

Blind Item #3 - He Tried And Failed - Mr. Hedge

As a young actor, he played a supporting role in a small-budget horror film, about 4 decades ago.  Let’s call this person C, and the film Film #1. Film #1 was financially very successful for its time.  It became a cult-classic, and launched the career of its director, who we will call F.  F became A+ list for the rest of his long career.

Several years later, C became a director himself, while in his early 30s.  The 1st film C directed for American audiences was a low-budget teen comedy.  Let’s call this film SB.

During SB, C attempted to molest one of the young actors.  Thankfully, the young actor was able to escape his attempts.  Unfortunately, this was because the young actor had been abused before.  The horrible experience scarred him enough to vigorously fight off C’s attempts.

C was good friends with a couple of serial child molesters.  One of them finally went to jail about a decade and a half ago.  A short time later, C won his first major award as a director.   Although C was only about 50 at that time, he suddenly retired from the business.  It probably had something to do with his past.  It is highly unlikely that this unsuccessful molestation attempt was C’s only misdeed.

If anyone knows anything more about C, you know who to contact. 

Film #1 -
F -
C -
C’s friend / serial child molester -
SB -

Blind Item #2

This former A+ list tween turned A/A- list adult singer was wasted out of his mind yesterday at a big event. His current girlfriend needs to run away before she ends up dead of an overdose.

Blind Item #1

This talk show host has known for ages about the cheating done by this B+ list actor/writer but never told his now ex who is a permanent A lister.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Blind Item #15

This late night talk show host has been feeding as many negative stories to the press as he can to try and support one of his best friends in her current fight.

Blind Item #14

It looks like that once a year fake charity sell off thing is back from this reality family. Oh, they probably do give money to charity, but they keep 90% of it for themselves but make it look like all the money is going to charity. The tabloids complicit in this should really indicate it is a sponsored post because that is what it is. They are promoting a business which is trying to make money but passing it off as some good deed type "article."

Blind Item #13

The lesser known offspring of this former A list mostly television actor who had two long running hit shows is thinking of filing a police report against him for what he did to her as a teen and which I wrote about here a few weeks ago.

Blind Item #12

If I were this permanent A- list rocker from a permanent A list band, I would probably get someone to taste test my food before I ate it. One of his girlfriend's exes claimed she tried to kill him twice and tried to make each time look like an accident. Everything was great until he named her as a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. She tried twice within a week and he was out the door and never looked back. Why didn't he leave after the first time? He believed her story.

Blind Item #11

Don't believe the hype. This A+/A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner knew exactly what she was doing when she took a recent role. She knows everything about every role she is offered. She decided the paycheck was worth any backlash.

Blind Item #10

Speaking of hotels, this A list mostly movie actor who had a long run on an iconic cable show went off on a publicist with him from a studio. He made her cry because she set up more interviews than he wanted to do. He only wanted to spend one hour promoting the movie and she set him up with two hours of work. He ended by telling her he was walking out of the interviews after exactly one hour. 

Blind Item #9

Just like on that Friends episode, this A- list mostly movie actress still not old enough to drink from an acting family is out of the country. She tried to watch television in her suite. She has a television in the living room, bedroom and even one built into the bathroom mirror. None of them will stop playing porn. For some reason it is locked into the on demand porn and keeps playing the same feature over and over and over. She was going to put it on social media but her people said it would make the hotel look bad and just to let it go.

Blind Items Revealed #5

February 11, 2018

This foreign born A- list mostly television actor who is on his second hit network show loves to play in a band. Everyone knows he loves to drink. When on tour, someone has to sleep in the same room as him to keep him from bringing anyone back or wandering out of his room in the middle of the night.

Kiefer Sutherland

Four For Friday - Hiding In Her Closet

It is not that long ago that this singer was A+ list. The songs from his band were everywhere. They seemingly came out of nowhere to blanket our airwaves. It was long enough ago that MTV still showed some videos and numerous from the group were in full rotation. The singer always pretended to be pious and religiously pure whatever that means.

It was about that time, long before I started the site that I ran into a friend I had not seen in ages. Just randomly we started talking where she went to college and something clicked and I said something to the extent of the singer went to school there. She said yes and then said she had a story to tell. Something you have to know about this college at that time when she and the singer attended.

Female students being allowed to wear pants was earth shattering. It was still frowned upon. Hair had to be long. No public displays of affection. If you can imagine a college where the Duggar family would feel comfortable, this was it.

There was a big scandal at the school involving the singer. Apparently there was a party off campus. Booze was there and of course consumption of that was not allowed at the school. Our singer got one of the female students drunk and raped her. He picked her because he knew she wouldn't report it. Daughter of a preacher. Drinking. Premarital sex. All of that would equal getting expelled and disowned from her family.

A month later the singer raped another student after getting her drunk. The same reasons again, she said nothing.

Even though the women didn't report him, they did share the information between each other. Just prior to Christmas break that year, the singer showed up at a party late. He found a student who was drunk and grabbed her and dragged her into a bedroom. She started fighting him and he ripped her clothes off and tried to rape her. She screamed and people came in and pulled the singer from her. He didn't care. He knew she wouldn't report him. He was wrong. It turns out she wasn't a student. She went to a different school. She lived in the town though and her father owned the bank that held many loans the school had taken out.

She told her parents who told officials. Apparently they tried to victim shame for all of about 30 seconds before the dad said his bank would call in every loan the school owed and send out a letter to all of the clients of the bank explaining exactly why they were doing so. Many of the clients of the bank were donors to the school and did business with the school. School officials went looking for him and found him in the closet of his girlfriend. Yes, he also had a girlfriend. She was expelled because she was naked and he was naked. 

Your Turn

Will Black Panther make it into the top ten all time box office?

Blind Items Revealed #4

February 9, 2018

This former A+ list tweener singer still makes a lot of money with his tween group. He is married but keeps his in person cheating contained to those once a year trips he takes with groupies. Online is a different thing though and will webcam with lots of women a day as long as they will get naked.

Jordan Knight

Blind Items Revealed #3

January 9, 2018

Back in the day, she tried a last gasp vacation and that didn't work out. This A list mostly television actress seems to have finally thrown in the towel with her writer/actor husband. He spent more time texting one of his girlfriends than talking to the actress on a recent trip.

Jennifer Aniston/Justin Theroux

Blind Items Revealed #2

February 9, 2018

This B-ish celebrity offspring of a permanent A lister is dating someone exactly two and a half times her age. That is pretty much the same age gap her dad likes.

Sailor Brinkley Cook

Blind Item #8 - Mr. Hedge - The Old Hollywood Con Has A New Name

It is said that history doesn’t repeat, but it often rhymes.  In over 100 years of Hollywood history, once every couple decades some person, or company, has been able to swindle enough cash from investors to even attempt this brazen scheme.

Almost every major studio has attempted some form of this scheme, on a smaller scale, at one time or another in its history.  The most recent example is back in the early 90's, when Sony paid through the nose for Columbia and TriStar Pictures.  Sony lost billions of dollars in the following years.  Each and every single time, the scheme has ended in miserable financial failure for the investors who were left holding the bag at the very end.  Many decades ago, RKO drove itself into receivership, and Warner Brothers almost went bust.

The scheme goes like this: Buy up as much talent in town, as quickly as possible, and it’ll all pay off later.  Doesn’t matter how much you have to pay.  Trust us, the financials will work out very nicely in the future.  Because we will simply chase everyone else out of the game.  Just give us a lot of money, so we can make sure that everyone else will go bust - before we do.  It will only take us a few short years to make that happen.  Then, we’ll be the only option in town.  We will control everything.  We will be able to squeeze the amount of money paid for talent back down, while charging our customers a ton of money.  We will be the last man standing, rolling in dough.

In recent years, an almost TV-network has made that age-old scheme the centerpiece of their corporate strategy.

This almost-TV network will pay at least twice what anyone else will for original content, whether you are selling a TV series, film – or even a stand-up comedy special.

The modern version of this scheme is enabled by a very unique form of accounting hocus-pocus, used by the almost-TV network.  This accounting magic allows the company to claim that it is generating a “profit”.  The reality is that this company burned through about $2 billion of cash last year, and will burn through another $3-4 billion in 2018.

This almost-TV network simply depreciates the value of all these films and shows over a far longer period of time than everyone else ever has.  The company claims that their definition is legit, because the content is in their own “library”.

This almost-TV network is the 1st to deliver its content in a unique way, using relatively new technology – they were the first company to do it this way on a large scale.  This means the Feds presently have no basis to challenge the almost TV-network on its suspect accounting, because the new “definition” has not been proven wrong.  Only the ultimate financial collapse of the company will do that.  In the meantime, the accountants and auditors go along for the ride and happily collect their fees, as they always do.

The almost-TV network tells its stockholders that it can taper down this spending spigot in the future, to generate actual cash.  This is an obvious lie, in 2 ways.

If the almost-TV network ever cut spending and new content, many subscribers would drop them like a hot potato.  Second, the company is making many big public commitments to spend money like drunken sailors, for several years into the future.  The huge deal they made this week – that is just to the head guy alone.  It doesn’t count a penny towards what it will cost to make his shows.

This almost-TV network also doubled down on a sequel for a very expensive recent film.  They literally doubled the bidding price for the original, which was a disaster.
Let’s call these Films A1 and A2.  A1 isn’t still worth most of its massive production cost, which is the value the almost-TV network uses for its accounting - just because A1 is part of their “library”.  Everyone knows A1 is worth pennies on the dollar.  The company claimed that millions of people watched A1.  Maybe, but A1 was so bad that many of them probably turned it off part-way through.  Most of those who watched the whole thing thought it was a lousy film - and won’t bother to watch A2.

Recently, the almost-TV network just bailed out a struggling once-major studio, and bought their awful film for big money.  Let’s call this Film #1.   Film #1 would have completely flopped at the box office, as the reviews were about as terrible as they can possibly get.  Critics have called Film #1 a total mess.  Film #1 is the 3rd film in a sci-fi series, but it is missing the main actors and director from the successful original film.   

Very recently, the almost-TV network bought yet another film, which a major film studio had put on the shelf - rather than bother losing even more money releasing it in theaters. This film stars the lead A-List actress from the original in Film #1’s series. Let’s call this film #2.

Stockholders in the almost-TV network are flying high right now.  In the next couple of years, they will see these heady gains evaporate.  This almost TV-network has a rapidly growing mountain of debt, which is getting much more expensive to finance.

Almost TV network -
Huge Deal This Week -
Film 1  / studio  / amount -
Film 2 -
Original to Film 1 -
Actress -
Film A1 / A2 -

Blind Item #7

This A+ list mostly movie actress with a new movie coming out says she has not been feeling right since a coke binge a few days ago. She says she feels permanently hot now and numb and that her heart is beating differently. 

Blind Items Revealed #1

December 1, 2017

This B+ list actor/writer married to a permanent A-/A lister was getting orally serviced by a woman not his wife in the back of a town car after an event this week.

Justin Theroux/Jennifer Aniston 

Blind Item #6

This permanent A+/A list mostly movie actor has a differing problem than the aging racist mentioned earlier today. This actor, who is also old, but not nearly as old as the actor earlier was going through staff at a record pace because he was always asking for sexual favors. They would quit and he was writing checks and then finally just arranged for a "masseuse" to come over every day. 

Blind Item #5

I don't think anyone ever wishes someone would die, but lately it seems that has been the case. Another example was yesterday, when for a brief moment, a staffer at a production office overheard this permanent A+ list television producer say, "So close," in an excited way over learning of the near death of a former A- list "employee." That "employee" has a ton of dirt and has been getting paid to keep it quiet.

Blind Item #4

This very old permanent A list mostly television actor who most of you know from his movies has always been a bit of a closet racist but as he has aged it has been more overt to the point where several caregivers and others have walked out and quit.

Blind Item #3

This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor who used to have a franchise couldn't handle the level of partying this A list singer does. He is pretty much just a drinker so the coke use was over the top. She would probably be better off with her other foreign born A- list mostly movie actor ex.

Blind Item #2

This B+ list mostly television actress is on an almost television hit. She is also someone who is now being constantly harassed by an organization after accusations made against an A- list mostly television actor. It is things like this that make women reluctant to speak up and why the head of at least one company is afraid to take action against any member of that group.

Blind Item #1

This foreign born B+ list mostly television actress who all of you know and has been in the news a lot is apparently drunk by 2pm each day and is sleeping with a guy a third of her age who she has to pay once a week.

Jennifer Aniston And Justin Theroux Split

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have revealed they have been separated since late last year, according to a joint statement. The couple, who wed in 2015, said they intended to keep their decision private, but "given that the gossip industry cannot resist an opportunity to speculate and invent, we wanted to convey the truth directly."

"This decision was mutual and lovingly made at the end of last year," the statement read. "We are two best friends who have decided to part ways as a couple, but look forward to continuing our cherished friendship."

No mention of Justin's cheating was made or the tabloid covers Jen will now get each week  talking about marriage and baby with Brad Pitt.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Blind Item #15

I once watched this non-traditional A+ list athlete leave his then girlfriend at a table with friends while he got orally serviced in the garden at Chateau Marmont. He had excused himself to go to the restroom after a female dinner companion said she was going to look at the garden. The guy is not nice. 

Blind Item #14

This one named A- list actress is closeted. Apparently she wants to come out. She might just be forcing the issue at this point with her public makeout session with a model at NYFW.

Blind Item #13

This foreign born last name loving A list celebrity in her own country and probably B/B- over here is back to popping pills again. That means of course it is also time to move on to the next love of her life. I expect a split announcement any day now.

Blind Item #12

This foreign born A list host was her usual diva self at a recent talk show appearance. She also snapped at a production assistant who touched her arm to get her attention. 

Blind Item #11

This foreign born A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee has been hooking up with a married elementary school teacher.

Blind Item #10

This former A+ list rapper is off his meds and are worried for his own personal safety.

Blind Item #9

Apparently this B list celebrity/former reality star/part-time porn star wants to do a reality show overseas but her controlling boyfriend is refusing to let her. At this point, I'm not sure she is allowed to leave the house alone.

Blind Items Revealed #5

February 9, 2018

This B+ list celebrity who is an A+ list athlete in her sport refused to take pictures with several of her teammates. She said that maybe if they were lucky she would take one with them sometime. And she wonders why people don't like her.

Lindsey Vonn

Today's Blind Items - The Eternal Order Of Elvis Presley Pallbearers - A Himmmm Blind

We four Himmmms (and our occasional cronies) have all decided to take turns with sharing one special story from each of us.  One person will write them all up for you, but each person takes a crack at their best memory (that they legally can share anyway).  Since I'm the "scribe" of the class, I go first.  It was easy to choose, as one great night shines above others for me.  A legendary Hollywood night for me, and the others who lived through it.  Yes, it's totally real and most of those involved are still alive.  I normally apologize for the length of the blinds, but in this case it may be pointless.  If you think this blind is long you should've experienced that night.  After nearly 22 years (!), I can still recall every word spoken, every smell, sound, bodily fluid and hairstyle.  I blame PTSD, but probably it is because it turned out to be a night that cemented lifelong friendships, business partnerships, and even love.  It's a very personal story.

I'm sorry if it is a departure from the normal blinds of scandal, evil abusers, or cheating/drugs/whatever.  Although it does have celebs in it, this is not some major mystery to CSI-out.  It's just about sharing a story that is very special and very crazy.  Real life usually is.  I'm sure you may have survived crazier nights than this, but probably not with such an amazing group of people.  Some who were legends then, and others who have become legends since.  So, for you my friends here at Crazy Days and Nights – I share my memory of my crazy night.

Let's set our DeLorean time machine back to the mid-90s.  This was a time when the internet was young, social media and reality television didn't exist, AOL, Netscape, and Microsoft were kings, and a cell phone was for talking.  YouTube, iPods, and Google didn't even exist; and Yahoo! and Miramax did.  Boys still wanted to play football for Penn State; and college MBA students wanted to work at Bear Stearns.  Neither Viagra nor the Dept. of Homeland Security had been rolled out; the Twin Towers stood tall; and MTV showed music videos.

In the sweet days of late 1996, there was a bar/pub place on Sunset then called The Cat and Fiddle Pub.  It was a English-style pub with a large outdoor patio area and they had the best alcoholic Ale and warm cider that would knock you flat-drunk-da-fark-out.  This bar was a Mecca for many British ex-pats in Hollywood, and especially with musicians.  It was no shock to sit down and see Robert Plant at the next table when he was in town.  The "young" hipsters in those days like Drew Barrymore, Winona Ryder, Johnny Depp, etc. were often there too.  Best thing was that it wasn't on the radar of tourists, paparazzi, or leeches.  It was a familial haunt for celebs dating back to The Who and Rolling Stones but open enough to just be a place to meet and hang out.  It has since moved across town, but at the time it was on Sunset Blvd. here in Hollywood.  My friends and I usually would go swing-dancing at the Derby, or drinking at the Dresden room.  But sometimes you just need to relax and take it easy.

I had received a call from a crazy friend of mine, a legendary British rocker (singer from legendary band) who wanted to go have some fun that night.  We will call him LC.  I'd been spending lots of time working with friends in movies and music, even trying to prod LC back into new life making music again.  Meanwhile, he'd occasionally make himself home at my house.  I was living in the artsy BoHo-chic area of L.A. called Silver Lake; in a big Old Hollywood Mediterranean-style mansion built in the 1920's for some dead silent screen star up a hill.  We'd installed a top-rate recording studio and film screening room inside the old house, so it attracted lots of musical friends from the neighborhood.  Down the street lived Flea, Jerry Cantrell, Kirsten Dunst, and many others.  Best of all it had a clear view of the Griffith Park Observatory and the best view in Hollywood.

This particular night I had been down at Paramount Studios helping a friend with a project, and watching crews refill the parking with the huge blue sky backdrop to shoot a movie about a boat in the ocean. I needed to unwind.  But hanging out with LC was never relaxing, because he was sort of ADHD you could say.  He said he'd talked to another pal who wanted to have a drink that night.  This other guy was more legendary than LC, but possibly less known in this period – unless you were a folkie, hipster, or alcoholic.  This older guy (Rock and Roll Hall of Famer/Oscar nominee/winner) we will call RW.  I was all for it, so we planned to meet at the Pub around dark. (Our rule was first there saves the table/seats, and last to leave pays the tab).

Whenever LC says he wants to go out, you cancelled your plans for the next day and put your attorney on speed dial after pre-authorizing bail money.  His idea of pub crawls could take you to another country if not careful.  Seriously, we wound up in Tijuana once.  Ever see a "Tijuana Donkey Show"? Uggh. Just…don't. Anyway, LC was also the world's worst driver, and had a habit of losing his cars.  Yes, "losing" his cars.  Forgetting where he parked them, and waiting til a towing company called for him to get it out of impound.  In L.A. that's crazier than anything.  But that's LC, in his lovable hyper-lost puppy dog way.  So he said he'd drive over to the Pub to meet us, and I knew it would be a crazy night.  I just never knew I'd end this night by falling in love.

Another friend of mine had stopped by my house and I invited him to join us for drinks too.  This guy (A list director with more than a handful of Oscar nominations/wins) was a young filmmaker who had directed some small/indie things but not yet had his big break.  We'll call him DK.  At this time he was working hard on putting together a movie that would become his first big hit, and become a legendary film that kicked off his incredible career.  I'd helped him edit a short film previously, and we'd have these nights where we'd spend hours and hours creating the story for this one project that he obsessed over.  A very dedicated filmmaker.  At the time we were going out drinking he couldn't even get into a club or elite restaurant by himself.  He was kind of a shy "Hollywood Kid" like I was, growing up inside the entertainment biz, so we had much in common.

DK and I met up and arrived at Cat and Fiddle and found RW already there, sitting by himself and drinking.  No LC yet.  I wasn't that close to RW but he knew of my family and knew any friend of LC was cool.  So RW was very gracious, and welcoming – and had already secured our table.  I introduced DK, who was awestruck by RW.  We made small talk until a woman walked outside to our patio table.  This lady was middle-aged and breathlessly gorgeous.  The kind of beauty that takes your breath.  It didn't take but a moment for me to recognize her and – WOW!  I was stunned.  It was (back in the day all around A- list actress/singer/celebrity).  We will call her BN, and in the years since her peak of pop-music singing fame she had gotten even hotter. Plus, she still had that amazing voice.  RW introduced us, and said she got bored with her date and was going to join us for drinks – my pleasure.

As we all four got to know each other better, I realized not only was I in the midst of two true legends – but two of the most legendary voices (whether talking or singing) to ever exist!  The patio there at the pub was starting to get more crowded, and a few people were giving that "Hey, isn't that…?" look over at our table.  Both DK and I noticed a table next to ours full of lovely young women who were looking over and whispering to themselves.  We pretended not to care, but one short-haired brunette young lady was just too pretty not to notice.  It took a gruff laugh from RW to break my stare.

When RW spoke, you pretty much gave him your undivided attention.  Not just because his voice and presence commanded it, but because everything he said seemed like some powerful nugget of truth from a wise man's lips.  Him asking for a cigarette held the same gravity as reading the Ten Commandments.  It truly did seem like most of what he said ended up in lyrics for a song.  However, other things were just the most bizarre non-sequiturs – relating to absolutely nothing – that you could ever imagine.  Timing was not exactly his strong suit either.  When BN asked if we all thought maybe there was "a cure for cancer somewhere but was being held back for money reasons?"  We all sort of pondered it a moment.

Except RW.

He just nodded his head, and replied: "Never get caught in bed with a dead woman or a live boy".  Apparently thinking his contribution to the conversation made ANY sense whatsoever.  DK was trying to suppress his laughter and frequently spewed cider on the patio.  Otherwise I tried to keep a stone face with RW.  We all did, except for BN.  It was not in her nature to ever patronize, coddle, or go with a flow.  As we'd all stare at each other quizzically, saying "mmm-hmmm", not wanting to offend our Jaegermeister Yoda, BN said: "That makes no fu#k%ng sense…at ALL.  What the f*#k does that have to do with cancer?"  And RW, being RW – just shrugged.  "I don't know, and I didn't say it did".  BN rolled her eyes and went to the bar for more drinks.  Lots more drinks for us all.  A whole lot.

Still no sign of LC after we'd been there a good 2 hours.  I told RW that he's probably been outside for two hours trying to park his car.  RW nodded, but BN called B.S.  She swore that even a kid could figure out how to drive and park in L.A., since (she claimed) the streets were lined out in a grid pattern to help bimbo actresses get from audition to audition.  Cute.  She wound up betting with me.  If LC said he'd been struggling to park? She buys the next round. Otherwise? My treat.

Finally, not long after, our lost sheep comes slinking through the growing crowd.  Completely undetected by the throngs of hipsters, young executives, and kids.  In fact, if you'd put one of his hits on the sound system I doubt half the crowd could sing along.  To say he was at somewhat of a loose end was mild, and I often got calls from his terrific wife asking if I knew his location.  He even called this period, his "wilderness years".  From the looks of his hair and beard he meant it as a fashion description.

LC rolls in, looking like he was hiding from a bookie, ducking under his jacket collar.  I stood to give him a welcome, and he plopped right down in my chair.  (No that's okay, go ahead and sit there, I wanted a new chair anyway).  LC didn't do these things to be rude or egotistical – it was just him.  Like the thought never crossed his mind that I may want to sit back down, in my chair.  After saying "hey" all around, he explained his anxiety thus: "Do you have ANY fu#k%ng idea how hard it is to park the curbs in this fu#k%ng town? I been out there like an hour like trying to park a lorry in a Mini's stall".  We all burst out laughing.  I won the bet, and BN grudgingly bought the next round.

When I got up to search for a chair, the only one I saw was sort of near a table that held the pretty brunette I'd been staring at.  Along with her pals, an extra female, and what looked like a grunge refugee from Seattle.  All their attention was turned away, so I figured I'd get that pesky chair away from their area for them.  Didn't want anyone to trip.  As I was pushing the chair in between DK and LC (who was yammering on about the dammed parallel parking), BN says: "Hey buddy – you're busted." Huh? She said my "girlfriend" – the stunning brunette I'd been eye-stalking – was trying to figure who stole her chair as all her pals were pointing fingers.  Right. At. Me.  Oh shit.  "Dude, she's sooo hot", said DK.  I decided to be honorable, and return the chair.

Before I could even pull it from our table, she was there in front of me.  Those warm hazel-brown eyes shooting daggers, steam exhaling from her ears.  Horns starting to sprout from her head.  "Excuse me, f#%khead – that's my chair.  Which you know, because you've been staring at me for half-hour.  I know it's America but even American guys must have some modicum of decency here."

I froze, tried to stutter out an apology.  BN snorted loudly.  LC says: "Holy hell man, she totally owned you."  RW (being himself), says: "Yep, and that's the problem with technology these days." (which, of course, made no sense whatsoever).  I was offering my apologies and excuses and for the first time, the beautiful brunette noticed my assorted lunatic friends.  She looked to my side and said: "Are you…wait…you're – HO-LEE-S-H-I--Z! Are you?".  Recognizing LC, she gasped, covered her mouth and stared straight at him.  I said "here's the chair" and she took her other hand (without ever taking her eyes off LC), and gently pushed my arm downwards toward the chair.  I sat.  She sat on my leg.  All without looking away from LC, or even blinking.

"Oh heavens, I'm so sorry.  Where are my manners.  I'm (foreign born A- list mostly movie actress)" – who we will call QT.

"I'm (LC)", he said.

"Yes, I know.  I'm a huge fan.  I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude to your friend, of course you can have my chair for your friend".  The always on-point RW then says, "Hey doll, you may not notice but you're actually sitting ON his friend."  BN says: "Yeah…but I don't think he's complaining."

At which she apologized profusely, and continued sitting on me.  From my leg, to my lap.

LC asked her about her accent, and she explained her home in England, and that – in fact – a relative of hers (A- list mostly television actor in his own country) knew LC and his former band mates.  Stunned, LC couldn't get over the coincidence.  We all went around the table, introducing ourselves.  Our new guest QT remembered BN from the 80s, had no clue who or what RW was, and ignored both me and the quietly shy DK at first.  But the longer we sat together (literally) the more we talked.  When I spoke French to BN about QT's attractiveness, and BN – who is American but speaks French – replied, it was then that I learned QT was totally fluent in French.  She lived in Paris recently, and was shocked at my comment to BN.  This wasn't my best night for impressing a beautiful young lady.

Turns out that QT and I did get along rather well.  She told me her life story, about her parents (famous acting couple in her home country), and that she was also an actress.  She'd recently done a couple of prestigious-type movies in her home country, and had been trying to break in to Hollywood.  Just this month she'd wrapped both a film back home, and another costume movie for television back there.  She was in town now staying with pals, and had auditions for a few films – one she hoped would break her through in America.  I told her about me, and my nutty friends and nuttier family.  We had much in common, and she'd attended a very impressive college recently and studied abroad.

Best of all, it felt like we'd known each forever.  I was glad she was sitting and drinking with us.  Actually, sitting ON me.  In fact, she'd decided to hang out with us when her pals all headed to a club down the Strip.  She said her gal pal fixed her up with some preppie douchebag type guy who looks like a date rapist.  She'd rather hang with us.  After some discussion, BN suggested that we should also head down there.  They were having some 80's night thing there, and she also had pals going.  She also knew the owners, so we could go hang in the VIP area if we wanted.  Sounded great.  I paid the huge bar tab, and LC said he'd meet us there.  I figured with him and cars? We'd see him next week if ever.  RW volunteered to drive.  He said that as the oldest alcoholic, he probably had a higher tolerance, thus able to drive his car safer than the rest of us.  Why not?  It was only the other end of the Sunset Strip anyway.

We all ambled out to the sidewalk, and there sat the ugliest pile of crap clunker car I'd ever seen.  Ev-er.  This was RW's car.  He called it the "death wagon", and it certainly smelled like it.  It was like some junkyard mechanic on LSD welded four clunkers together.  Made the Blues Bros. car look like a Bugatti.  But not wanting to insult a legend, we gave in (and sort of side-eyed each other).  Climbing into RW'S car- this battleship-sized 1960s-era behemoth (which got about 4 mpg and had the original tires still on it), we piled in like condemned prisoners.  Myself, QT and DK in back and BN and Commodore RW up front driving.  Even the radio seemed sad to be in this car, as it belched out classic songs on FM to barely hide the noise of the skipping motor.  DK looked over at me, grinning like a kid, and said "this is so cool!".  QT just looked at me in disbelief: "Sure, riding in the Manson Family Truckster".  (Catching the National Lampoon's Vacation joke cemented my love for this lady).  The radio played Men At Work's "Down Under", and we debated the Aussie term "chunder" as it applies to puking, and how being a "chunder-cat" sounds cooler than "yelling for a Buick".  Down the Strip we cruised.

Alas the club came into sight.  This neon-draped venue with an outside Jumbotron had formerly been the legendary Gazzarri's rock club.  Former home of many 60's-era rock groups and dancers, it was where Van Halen and many hair metal bands called home.  Now, it was The BILLBOARD LIVE and was a hot, hip, new place to be and was packed with lots of club kids and young celebs of the moment.  Crowds snaked down the sidewalk, and paparazzi were out on the curbs looking for celebs.  RW parked the Tank of Doom behind the block, facing down the cross street.  He said "Never know when you gotta make a break for it".  Uhhh, okay, thanks for the insight Confucius.

Thankfully, BN had called ahead from the Pub, and a manager met us and escorted us through the crowd past the velvet rope.  Lots of confused young clubbers on the concrete.  We could go downstairs to the secret VIP den if we wanted, but I suggested hanging in there a while.  Have a few drinks, and enjoy the fun.  That place was packed.  Some of QT's friends from earlier were just waiting to get in, and had lobbed some confused shouts at her as we blew by them.  Now they were inside too.  QT pointed and showed me this one big douchebag guy who had been bugging her.  It was the date she was supposed to have been on at that moment.  He looked like a Fraternity snob from Animal House and a born date-rapist.  Popped Izod collar and all, with a sport coat (even if it was a retro 80s night this was still the 90s!).  I told QT it was fine, that he'd never get near her – much less spike her drink and roofie her.

The first person I saw inside was an old friend of mine, another up-and-coming Director (A list director great at action movies).  Back East our families were close, and I'd known him forever.  He'd not yet hit the big time but would soon.  We chatted and I introduced him to QT, and he confirmed my instincts as a quality choice for a date.  He returned to his group and we made our way through the throbbing club full of music, lights, and sweaty drunk people.  The manager led us to a reserved table close to the bar, and everyone was having fun.  At the table next to us was an odd group of foreign-looking people who seemed to be sitting very close together and taking turns leaning over their table.  Then whipping their heads backwards.  Maybe they had sinus problems? Yeah, that's the ticket.

BN introduced us to several other 80's era stars, and the whole vibe of the place was great.  After a drink, QT and I went to dance.  I discovered a secret sweet spot high on the nape of her neck, and she really enjoyed the massage I was giving her.  Her skin tasted like sweet peaches.  It was all good until Mr. Roofie and one of QT's friends came over to us, playing 20 questions.  QT said she was fine, having fun, and would see her pal later that night.  The Roofie douchebag guy didn't seem to like that, and being drunk, started talking trash.  To both of us.  QT and I just ignored him, and made our way back to the table.

Waiting there was our lost friend LC, who miraculously made it – and even made it inside and found us!  He'd ordered several hyper drinks for us all, including flaming drinks.  We drink this FLAMING alcoholic soft drink with a Whiskey shot dropped into it.  Ugggh.  They make one and it is great.  But then – LC orders them for everyone. QT drinks hers and turns green.  You could see the puke bubble up her throat, but she held it down.  LC starts drinking his second one and while on fire – from nowhere Mr. Roofie Douchebag drunkenly barrels into us, knocking QT into me, and LC's flaming drink goes EVERYWHERE.

I leap up and SAIL over the table onto Mr. Roofie, punching his adam's apple and then his nose, repeatedly.  The other flaming drinks spill and spread.  I hardly notice his coat is literally flaming on FIRE in the middle of a BRAWL.  Three of Mr. Roofie's no-neck pals have jumped in, pulling me off him, as LC throws punches at them.  QT jumps up – and VOMITS LOUD AND HARD all over me and the now-bloody/gasping Douchebag. I turn back to QT, and she's sick but she's okay.  LC is beating some big guy's fist to death with his face.  DK jumps in to help him.  People fighting, pushing, and Security coming.  As this typhoon of chaos swirls around, I catch a glimpse of RW.  He's sitting there, calm as a meditating Buddhist, sipping his drink and looking at the action.

The fire spread from Mr. Roofie's coat, down his pants, as someone pushes that hyper-pituitary Goliath towards RW.  So RW politely extinguishes the blaze.  By pouring an entire pitcher of beer on him. Instead of thanking him, the guy swings at RW – which is caught in mid-air by the back of LC's head.  BN and DK both are trying to help QT.  Another body flies past me, sailing onto another table and POOF! – a cloud of white powder blasts up into the air from that table.  Apparently it wasn't powdered sugar for their sinus problems, because the group at THAT table got super pissed and started gang-punching the drunk who'd blasted their cocaine everywhere.

I feel someone smacking my back – it's BN because I'd also caught on fire.  I swear I saw BN throw a bare-knuckle punch straight into a guy's face.  The entire fight blows up into a ruckus, which blows up into a bar-brawl, which blows up into a total riot inside a packed nightclub on the Sunset Strip after midnight. Security comes barreling in with fire extinguishers.  People trying to run away outside, as others push their way sneaking inside.  People yelling, fighting, throwing drinks – and THUMPING 1980's Duran Duran reverberating.  Total third-world epic chaos.  Dogs and cats living together in sin, I mean total mayhem.

RW points to an emergency exit, and makes a quick departure amidst the carnage.  The music is still BLARING.  We follow RW and shuffle out of the emergency side-door fire exit which triggers fire alarms.  RW hoofs it down the sidewalk to grab the car.  QT is on the sidewalk, puking and retching all over my shoes and everything else.  In between heaves and coughs, she's yelling "HOLD MY HAIR! I'm PUKING IN MY BLOODY HAIR".  I do.  BN comes busting out the door saying "we gotta get the hell out, now.  Cops are coming and those frat boys are blaming us for this."  She pauses only long enough to say, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see she's sick? Hold her HAIR!", and rolls her eyes at me.

Like a deranged Batman scene, RW comes roaring down the side-street, and halts the clunker right at us. "GET IN KIDS!".  Just as we're throwing open doors and piling in, DK and LC explode out of the side door, laughing, falling, and yelling drunk.  Both covered in white stuff (either from extinguishers or the cocaine explosion next to us).  Somehow, LC had ripped off Mr. Roofie's popped collar. He actually had the guy's shirt collar in his hand, laughing. "GET IN" we all yell. They do, and with a belch of smoke from the exhaust, RW'S death wagon car skips, lurches, and knocks its way out into the street.  Hitting the horn and sailing through traffic nearly sideways until we're clear.

I look back and see Fire Trucks and Police cars all racing to the front of the Billboard Live club.  Holy hell.  People running across Sunset like a bomb went off.  Then I look over at QT - this beautiful brunette British goddess, with her short, mussed hair, streaked makeup, alcohol, and various bodily fluids around her mouth (and on me).  She focuses her heavy leaden eyes at me and says: "I'm soooo sorry. You're such a gentleman…and I chundered on my gentleman.  Can I have some gum? I got a bit of yak breath."

Always prepared for any crisis, (like a deranged den mother from hell) BN opens her bag, whips out a travel bottle of mouthwash.  "Drink up sweetie" she says.  I see DK with his head now in BN's enticing lap, grinning, and LC is riding shotgun with our brave pilot RW roaring us down Sunset through traffic.  He yanked the wheel hard, shooting us down a cross street, and then down another street to avoid the Sunset crush.  All of us escaping the melee at the club (which actually made the news the next day about a group of unidentified ravers starting a fire and brawl. It honestly was on KTLA).

QT gave me the mouthwash, which I drank.  Bad idea.  This all-forsaken car had a very nasty smell inside. Like any good diplomat, LC belted out: "Tha hell IS that bloody smell man??". LC kept swearing it was sewage, but RW said it was probably from dead bodies.  RW swore he only paid $100 for it, because a pal bought it from a funeral home.  It wasn't a hearse but was used for "other" transport.  BN and I looked at each other, eyes wide.  DK, who was cramped in between us, asked RW if he'd ever checked the trunk?

"Nah man.  Don't really dig what may be back there", he quipped.  And kept on driving.

I asked, out of courtesy, "Do you care if I smoke in here?".  LC said, "Care? Dear God man! PLEASE SMOKE! Smoke, fart, or do SOME-THING to get that fu#%in' rank stench outta here!".

QT and I lit our cigarettes, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.  Just staring.  Maybe it was the alcohol, or the elation of the crazy night.  But I couldn't stop staring, until I caught DK's gaze too.  He shot me a smile and a nod.  He knew it too.  Saw the same thing in her.  Probably thought the same thoughts too – as in, this young lady is going to be a massive star one day.  Not just her looks, or her smile.  She had a glow.  An aura.  A charisma that I doubt even a movie camera would capture.  She was transcendentally incandescent.  Didn't matter how well she even acted, she had "presence".  I'd spent my whole life growing up around glamorous old era movie stars, from Liz Taylor, Ava Gardner, to Natalie Wood.  I'd known them all – and even have a photo of me as a kid in the lap of Greta Garbo.  I know what that presence is, and means.  Even sloppy drunk.  DK knew it too.  If justice exists?  She'll be an Ava Gardner, or a Liz Taylor.  A throwback to glamorous actress of the old days.  The world will notice her.  If not? I'm in the wrong business.

Out of the front seat, came an very loud eruption of that unmistakable voice:

"We need us a name man!", said RW.

We all kind of looked around at each other, but had long since given up hope of making sense of anything he asked.  "Like the Hell's Angels?", was DK'S reply.

"Nah…man, nah.  Like there was the Rat Pack, and the Hippies, and them Yuppies…shit, we need US a name!  You know like Jarmusch and those guys got that Lee Marvin club."  He was referring to director Jim Jarmusch whose resemblance to the actor Lee Marvin spawned a group of pals called "Sons of Lee Marvin".  Where Hollywood actors and musicians resembling the famed icon all get together and…I don't know.  Sit around and look alike maybe?  But hey, the RW wants what the RW wants.

But he did have a point.  We wanted something we could us to identify ourselves.  A name with dignity, class, and honor to fully reflect the success and brilliance of our combined existences. (Yes, we were drunk).  Then LC chimed in, "Hey? How about the Knights of the Diarrhea wagon??".

QT exploded with laughter, and mouthwash – all over me.  Better than her vomit. Like a shower of peppermint.  Probably the best that car had smelled since it was new.  DK said, "Classy name."  RW, without considering the insult of his car, continued on.  "How about something with Elvis?  Because, you know, he was the King right?  But he had to fight too."

Then DK suggested "Elvis' Pallbearers".  LC brought it all home for us: "I know – I got's it! Got's it here…THE Eternal Order of Elvis' Presley Pallbearers."  A long hush fell over the car.  Only the whop-whop of the tires, low hum of the FM radio…and one of QT's occasional hiccups echoed through the interior.

"Perfect! Man, that's PURRR-FUCT!!", said RW.  Oddly enough, everyone agreed.  And thusly, a true Hollywood legacy was born.  We decided then to meet back every year, no matter what, to reunite and live out our adventures.  Without flaming alcohol this time.  RW asked about if we would have to be a dues-paying membership club, like the Friar's Club or something, or if we'd have uniforms or a secret handshake.  We agreed not to, since we were all likely too drunk to remember a handshake.  "Good", he said.  "'Cause I've already paid my dues, man."  Which may have been the most relevant, lucid, and meaningful thing he'd said all night long.

We finally made it back to our cars near the Cat & Fiddle on Sunset, but I was in no shape to drive.  QT asked if I could run her back to her pal's place later…maybe? Uh, sure.  BN told RW he was obligated to take her for early breakfast. House of Pies, baby!  So I asked RW to point the death wagon towards Silver Lake and please, drive us home.

Do you remember in the Hangover movies, the scene of the morning after? Or Sixteen Candles when Farmer Ted wakes up with the prom queen in the parking lot?  All those scenes of half-drunk, fully wasted, exhausted, dirty survivors of a party war straggling onwards? Well, that is what we were at that moment.  Not one of us untouched, or not reeking of some awful foul substance.  We were all either burned, wet, bloody, dirty, and very tired.  Even Queen BN didn't escape with her crown un-tilted and those sexy fishnets un-ripped.  Yet we survived.  There, in that car, hardly speaking a word.  The chug-a-bang-thud of the death car and the feeble droning of the radio is all we heard.  Minus ringing of the ears and QT's eternal hiccups.  Cruising towards an epic walk of shame, slouching towards the curse of twilight waiting in our immediate future.

Just about that time I didn't think this bizarre night could get more bizarre, a true Twilight Zone moment occurred.  Call it Synchronicity, coincidence, or the mighty hand of God playing around with us…it was some very odd stuff.  Just as we'd all settled inside the "death wagon" LC turned up the radio.  Amazingly enough, the radio still worked, picking up that classic FM station.  More amazingly, a song had just started playing.  A song written by RW, which had become a huge hit for another singer (permanent A+ list foreign born singer).  The song was in the first verse.  BN said: "Whoa – isn't that your song?".  RW said, "Well, it used to be.  Guess it's his though.  He did it good – and I made enough to buy this luxury automobile."  (He wasn't joking – he really did write it, and it was a huge hit for the singer.  No clue how much he earned in royalties but I hope it was more than $100.).

Without any prompting, or planning, RW began singing.  Talk about a private concert!  Then BN joined in.  Then LC pipes in too.  It was only then that it dawned on me the true epic-ness of these three legendary singers – and now all three singing this big song of RW's which, even drunk, was incredible!  Even DK begins to come in on the next verse.  QT looks at me, eyes WIDE OPEN at me like "oh God is this really happening?".  I just grinned, nodded, and even she started to hum and sing it too.  Then, when the epic chorus hit – we ALL were singing it, loudly.  VERY LOUDLY.

All chiming in, cruising down the eastern ends of Sunset Blvd., at 3am…together.  An earth-shattering, life-defining moment that shall live in my personal history eternally. (Or until my dementia hits. Either/or).  With that final rousing chugging beat kicking in – we did too.  All of us yelling, singing, laughing and making bark at the moon noises.  THIS is what the true Hollywood dream is all about. Vomit, clunker cars, and surviving flaming epic party fights! By the song's end, we were all laughing, coughing, and having a great time.  All the burns, puke, fights, and everything else were forgotten.  Well, mostly anyway.

We'd made it back down Sunset and over to Silver Lake.  Not really sure if RW's tank-mobile would make it up the hill, and it dragged the ground going uphill.  A cloud of smoke trailing us that could've put L.A. on a next-level smog alert all by itself.  Heading up Micheltorena, passing the old houses, I directed our driver where to go.  Coming to the driveway, he didn't want to go up to the house.  We said our goodbye at the curb, and LC got out with us.  BN tried to invite LC back with them to eat and to get their cars.  He declined.  She then said: "Yeah – but do 'ya think maybe they wanna be alone? Huh?".  LC just stared at us, and back at her.  Like somebody just asked him to do long division or calculus.  "Look at the size of that f*#kin' house man! You think they'd hear me? Besides it's like my home too."

He was right.  He stayed there.  A LOT.  I wanted to claim him on my taxes by now.  I came around to the driver's side window, and RW stuck out a hand.  We didn't really say much, just a wink, nod, and a big scary grin.  "Thanks old man…it was a blast.  Thanks for everything."  He shook my hand, and said: "You bet.  It was for me too.  I think it was one for the books, Kiddo. Best time I've remembered in years.  Via con Dios!"  Coming from that legend, there's hardly a compliment to compare. And...he called me Kiddo!

I stepped away, as he rolled up the glass.  No electric windows. Hahahaha.  Love it.  After hugs and goodbyes, and a pledge to reunite next year – I led the way with QT and LC following up the drive.  Up to the old Mediterranean-style house that was popular with movie folks in the 1920's, I led QT on a little tour around the outside and the pool.  LC helped himself to my fridge, and was nice enough to play the answering machine.  I still don't know why he did that all the time as if anyone assumed him to be there.  Maybe he expected a psychic to know he was crashing there? But we all loved him, and our casa was his casa.  Mostly, anyway. After many, many, many hints that it was getting late – or early – he agreed and asked if I was going to lock the door or if I wanted him to do it before going to sleep.  Uhh, sure LC, you're always welcome.  Anytime.  He went down the hallway to one of the guest rooms, and retired for the night I think.  "Elvis has left the building", he shouted loud enough for people at Graceland to hear.

I took QT on an extended tour of the old house, and she talked about her plans, dreams, and what she hoped the future held for her.  She was now more sober than was I, and after a bird bath wash-up in the bathroom, was radiant.  She told me she'd been dating another actor back home, but kinda on-again/off-again.  I didn't mind that it was now off-again.  I was less occupied with what the future held for her and more occupied with holding her in my future.  When we arrived to the master bedroom, she wouldn't let me turn on the lights.  I told her I had a CD she'd enjoy hearing, and flipped on the stereo and took her out to the balcony. Said she wanted to see the city glow.

A mix CD I'd played the day before came on, as Jane's Addiction "Three Days" began.  The balcony doors wide open, and the linen shears over double French doors did little to conceal the gorgeous view across Los Angeles.  Maybe only the Chateau Marmont has a better view.  She was speechless.  The Hollywood sign, Observatory, all of Hollywood – all lit up with the haze of the night sky reflecting it back.  She stood there on the balcony, and it was possibly the most beautiful view I'd ever seen.  Not the city, or the lights…but her.  In the reflected glow of the city.  "I can't get over this.  This view.  This night.  Your friends…you.  This place, it's all so…so…so...perfect."

She turned, neither of us said a word.  A long…very long…kiss.

The music played and she asked with a soft whisper, "What about your friends? What about…Elvis?"

"Elvis is dead.  He won't mind."

We resumed that kiss.  The balcony doors stayed open.

Several hours later she arose from the bed, wrapping the thin gauzy sheet around her.  She lit a cigarette, and appeared to almost float out to the balcony.  Dragging the sheet beneath her.  The song "Fade Into You" by dream-pop band Mazzy Star was playing.  That song, with Hope Sandoval's breathy vocals – it was perfect timing with what was in front of my eyes.  A song and a vision that's forever seared in my mind.  Unforgettable moments.  Just…perfect.

I sat propped up on the edge of the bed for the longest time just staring at her figure on the balcony, the linen barely shrouding her tan figure.  The pink light of the sun was threatening to peek up over the opposite side of the house, just enough for a faint purple glow bouncing off the hazy sky.  The lights still all bright below, all reflecting off her flawless face.  She looked like she'd just walked out of a makeup trailer, even her messed short hair looked stylish.  That warm California wind blew across her face, her hair, the linen shears, and the sheet all gently dancing in the breeze.  Her back, neck, and shoulders all exposed to me as she held the sheet to her chest.  Smoking, staring...totally blissed.

"I never want to leave", she said.

I walked behind her, wrapping my arms around her and joining her stare.  "Then don't", I replied.  She asked if I had thought about anything beyond this minute.  I told her all that I knew was that I wanted to feel like this minute forever.  She smiled, and agreed.  But we both knew it would never be more than this.  Reality.  Commitments elsewhere.  Plans, futures, and responsibilities.  But then and there, everything in the world was perfect.  If I'd died at that moment? Life would've been well spent.  Especially after a night like that.  I asked her if she wanted breakfast and I nuzzled into the nape of her neck.  She was perfect.  She still tasted like peaches.

She laughed and simply said three words: "No.  Just lunch."

We didn't leave that bedroom or balcony for nearly six hours.  Even then it was only for the shower.  She cleansed my second-degree burns on my back.  I made sure to gently wash all the alcohol off her body.  Pore by flawless pore.  It was a very long shower that probably caused the L.A. drought of 1996.

When we finally did leave the house it was around 1pm, and I promised to take QT to the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel for her first "Hollywood lunch".  I knew the staff there well, and she'd never been.  She reminded me my car was still at the Pub, or maybe towed. Damn…I was turning into LC.  We took my other car but before we got out of and down the driveway to the street, LC came roaring in.  He parked at the end of the drive, half on the curb and half on the street.  I rolled my window down and invited him to join us for lunch.  He declined, saying he'd left after we'd gone upstairs and been out drinking with another pal (back in the day A+ list mostly movie actor who is probably A- list now) and other friends until sunrise but finally retrieved his own car.  An epic hangover.  I told him to make himself at home, and I'd return one of these days.  He smiled, wished QT well telling her to look him up back in England.  He said "You two crazy kids invite me to the wedding okay?", and with a laugh he stumbled up the driveway to the house.

As much as I wanted us to spend every moment together, I knew we couldn't.  So after lunch, QT and I went our separate ways.  We had one last kiss goodbye, fittingly just off Sunset Blvd., when I took her back to her friend's place.  We each had obligations that were unbreakable, and we both felt a long, hard tug at our hearts as we parted.  "One for the record books, Kiddo".  She said to me, laughing in her impersonation of RW.  "Always, kiddo", was my reply.  She went back to her friends, to her auditions, and then returned back to England and her life there.

It was a few months after her return home that she called me out of the blue.  I could tell she'd been crying, and she finally told me the news.  Turns out something from our night together was going to bind us together forever.  But a physically dangerous problem arose.  It was not to be.  I offered to fly over, or fly her here – but she didn't want that.  I respected her enough to not push anything.  We talked for hours and hours, and I truly felt more love for her than ever before.  But some things work out, and others don't.  Time marches on, and we made our own private vows that night to each other and she bravely went on with her life, relations, and dreams.  A strong woman whom I will forever love, admire, respect, and protect.

I went on with my life too, and about a year later had a "reunion" of sorts of the group of friends from that night.  Our gang reunited at Cat & Fiddle Pub one night, and had another great night.  Sadly, QT didn't make the return trip.  She was still in England, still with her on-again really nice boyfriend.  Her career was gaining full steam, and in a few years she'd be expecting her first child with her boyfriend.  I was happy for them both.  Although I missed her horribly, I knew we had our own lives.  When we see one another in times since, we always smile and often share a hug.  No matter the miles, years, or anything else between us…I'll never forget that night, and the image of her on that balcony.  Some things remain truly magical.  She always calls me "kiddo" in a low, gruff voice – and I call her the same.

The night of our reunion at the Pub would be the last time our group of friends all got together in one place.  Time marched on from then until now, and people went different ways.  Even the Cat & Fiddle Pub moved.  Although still around, they were forced from home on Sunset and now are at a new place off Melrose down the corner from the Paramount lot.  I still pop in on occasion for a warm cider, but things have changed.  I sip my warm, non-alcoholic cider.  Things have indeed changed.  My buddy, friend, brother, and favorite loony named LC died not long after from a health problem he never knew he had.  A hard funeral to get through, and I love his widow and family as if my own.  It's not like he's dead, because I still expect to hear him staggering up the driveway any given morning asking if I'd seen his car.

Good old RW made the epic album of his career shortly after our adventures, and made it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Lord knows, he deserves it.  The eternal lovely Queen BN made it back to performing, re-igniting her band and her incredible singing (all while marrying an entertainment lawyer and having kids!).  My upstart shy buddy DK really hit the big time.  He soon made the defining big movie of his career, which shot him to the instant A+ list where he's been ever since as one of the greatest living directors (and that rare good guy in Hollywood).  Happily married to a great woman and they've got a hundred kids.

Yes, my QT - the brunette goddess who stole my heart and body that night? She also got her big break in America – and proved me, and DK, and LC, and everyone correct who predicted her success.  She became a franchise star, hailed as one of the most beautiful women alive, and married a different guy in the biz although that one didn't work out exactly either.  She's spread her wings doing art films and indies and is a true evergreen.  A talented actress and a talented human being.  A lady in every respect.  Of course things change over the years, but if one day when our paths cross and we've had the right amount to drink, hear the right song, and live through a bar brawl? Who knows?  Maybe she'll chunder upon me once again.  One never knows down which path or aisle such things may lead.

I'm sharing all of this with you not only to share (with you my friends) the events of a crazy night.  But also because that silly drunken promise we all made that fateful night to remain as a group...well, it may yet come true in a special way.  The events of that night (plus a few others) may be made into a small little indie film in the near future.  With all the participants from that night on board, except for one (R.I.P.).  It won't be a summer blockbuster or a franchise mega-hit.  There's no superheroes (except for RW's car), and probably won't make a blip in the awards.  But it'll share with the world the crazed, chaotic, and eternal moments that bonded a group of friends together in a crazy night in Hollywood. 

It may even be called: "The Eternal Order of Elvis Presley Pallbearers".

And it'll be one for the record books…Kiddo.

Your Turn

How much of the Olympics have you watched?

Blind Items Revealed #4

February 8, 2018

I give this new show a season at most with the cast as it is currently set. The A-/B+ list actress who ALL of you know doesn't know what she is getting into with this B+ list actress recently seen on a now defunct pay cable show. It is going to be a lot of drama. The A- list actress does not need drama. She does not need or want to be close to controversy. It is just not a good fit at all.

Camping/Jennifer Garner/Lena Dunham

Blind Items Revealed #3

February 8, 2018

Apparently this A list singer and this A list alliterate model are best friends now. That is really bad news for this A+ list singer for keeping things quiet because whatever the model tells the singer will end up in a tabloid, including the big secret.

Katy Perry/Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift

Blind Items Revealed #2

March 22, 2017

This alliteration designer got away with another rape of another female model who just wanted a shot at moving up the ladder. Nothing will stop him now.

Karl Kani

Blind Item #8 - Lots Of Audio And A Little Bit Of Video

Want to hear this permanent A++ list icon discussing on the phone what he did or wanted to do with children? Want to hear him telling parents their children are liars for accusing him of doing those same things? Want to see a short 30 second video of him where he appears to be naked in front of a tween boy wearing a striped short sleeved shirt looking up at the icon? Well, if you have at least seven figures, then you can own it according to the middleman shopping it around.

Blind Item #7

This former A- list dual threat actress from back in the day who used to be in all the tabloids is going to die within months if she doesn't get help. I have also heard she is being forced on almost daily basis to have sex with other men her husband brings home.

Blind Items Revealed #1

 March 20, 2017

This A-/B+ list mostly movie actress had to agree to a lengthy interview and also get her foreign born actor husband to agree to one too before the magazine would include her in an honor for which she is wholly unqualified.

Blake Lively/Ryan Reynolds/Variety

Blind Item #6

This former former Disney actress turned future porn star says she was six weeks pregnant by a very recent ex. When he told him about it, he punched her in the stomach. She ended up having a miscarriage. 

Blind Item #5

Another woman is set to come forward about her experience on the set of this former syndicated show and with the actor who was the star. She says he pursued her even though he knew she was underage. 

Blind Item #4

This permanent A/A- list dual threat actress who is more well known for an iconic television role is ticked off because she was supposed to be on the cover of at least one tabloid next week. Instead, they are devoting the cover to the school shooting from yesterday. Sounds about right for her.

Blind Item #3

This very rich part-time reality star who has been on many different shows is treating his significant other so poorly now that he is bringing women he is cheating on her with to the home they share whether the significant other is there or not. He knows she won't leave.

Blind Item #2

It was just a music video, but this former tween star was all about the casting couch when he cast his latest music video.

Blind Item #1

This HGTV star once got wasted and tried to have sex with his wife's sister. That is one part of their life they don't share with the public.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Blind Item #15

These two former television rivals are rivals in real life now. They used to star in that cable reality franchise. The more famous rival has continued in several other shows and also has various side gigs. One of those side gigs needed some financing, but she lost out to her lesser known rival who, how shall we say, sweetened the pot.

Blind Item #14

This recently unemployed B+ list mostly television actress/wannabe singer who should be higher on the list but her shows always seem to be so middling lately saw a doctor about getting larger breasts and a lift. She is trying to shake up her image.

Blind Item #13

This foreign born A list model/wannabe actress who takes a million selfies a day, usually half naked should probably ask around about those abuse claims from some of the exes of her boyfriend. He is not a friendly guy.

Blind Item #12

This singer/reality star/host/diva from a celebrity family hit her first movie casting couch. She really wants to be an actress but no one would cast her except as stunt casting.

Blind Item #11

The quickest resolution to a legal situation ever. This A+ list singer wants no one looking into her ghostwriting situation.

Blind Item #10

It is getting close to rehab time for this television talk show host and I'm not sure she can wait until the show takes its next break to do it.

Blind Item #9

Pretty remarkable coincidence about a recent actor death and a very huge almost television deal. 

Blind Items Revealed #5

February 8, 2018

This former reality star turned B+ list mostly movie actress who is still in her teenage years is worried some information is going to come out about her which will ruin her career. I don't think she has shared with other than a few people what could be so damaging.

Maddie Ziegler

Today's Blind Items - Warmer Waters - Mr. Hedge

This former child actor was A-list at his peak.  The introduction to this story is well-known to many.  His more recent dealings have not yet been exposed.   

Our former child actor was still in his late teens when he quit acting.  He was already friends with that A-list director.  The A-list director introduced our former child actor to a serial child molester.  The newfound friends became partners in a shady business, which served as a thinly-veiled front for a pedophile ring.   He fled the country with the his 2 partners, and had a very close brush with the law in a foreign country.  Our child actor was arrested, but not charged -  for all the child porn the police found in the residence which was shared by the 3 partners. 

For the past few years, our former child actor has been spending a great deal of time in an economically distressed Caribbean destination.  The legal age of consent in that destination happens to be 2 years younger than his native California.    Recently, this destination was devastated by a natural disaster.

Very recently, our former child actor has bought himself some favorable press.  He  claims to bring new wealth and charity to this island from his recent business dealings.   This favorable press makes no mention of his shady past dealings. 

He is trying to remake his public image.  This will not succeed. 

For one thing, our former child actor has secretly been in touch with many of the same bad people from his past for many years, via a secret social media group. 

He has also been involved in many shady dealings in his recent business ventures.  He was close to a major fraud scheme a couple years ago, which caused a company to collapse, as well as a mysterious suicide. 

Former Child Actor -
A-list director -
Serial child molester -

Your Turn

What, if anything are you giving up for Lent?

Blind Items Revealed #4

February 27, 2017

Academy Awards

You want to know who the nicest actress was last night at an after party? It was someone who has taken a lot of grief from me the past six-nine months. A celebrity offspring. A-/B+ list mostly movie actress. Foreign born. Just incredibly nice and friendly to everyone. Genuinely humble and you could tell she was just happy to be there.

Lily Collins

Blind Items Revealed #3

February 7, 2018

This B+ list mostly movie actress with A+ list name recognition all of you know got some kind of botox injection that has paralyzed a portion of her face for the past week. It kind of looks like she is doing an Elvis thing. Apparently it is going to be like that for a few weeks.

Katie Holmes

Blind Items Revealed #2

February 7, 2018

Speaking of NYFW, this A+ list designer likes to pose for photos with his celebrity guests and he had some very choice things to say when he saw this one named singer and what she wore. He was not a fan. At all.

Halsey/Tom Ford

Blind Item #8 - Something Rotten

The widow and a family member think that they have the undying support of their lackeys.   The lackeys are given orders and then run with them like deranged robots. What the widow and her family member do not realize is that one of those lackeys isn't what they appear to be. This particular lackey is mentally unstable and is playing double agent.  Along with doxxing their enemies, the lackey has also trashed the widow and her family member online too.  A mistake was made when this lackey targeted someone more unhinged than they are and tried to blame them for the doxxings.  This wrongly targeted person took the situation to some of their buddies on the dark web to retaliate.  That crew were easily able to extract the lackey's identity from electronic footprints and tie them to everything. The target has made sure that this information has been shared to a bunch of dark web groups that are now buzzing about how much fun they're going to have with it.  

Blind Item #7

This very smart A list runway model not named Karlie Kloss says that this A list singer who doesn't usually sing in English tried to sexually assault her several years ago when she was first starting out. I will have to check the timeline, but I think he was still married then too.

Blind Items Revealed #1

October 8, 2017

The in the news husband of this former A- list celebrity turned A- list reality star turned celebrity turned A- list reality star turned celebrity who is an offspring of someone with A+ list name recognition is cheating on her. The same person he has been cheating on her before they got married.

Bristol Palin/Dakota Meyer

Blind Item #6

This flash in the pan former reality star from a spinoff of a spinoff is actually probably a B+ list celebrity because of her side jobs. She was also coked out of her mind at a NYFW event this week.

Blind Item #5

This one named A- list singer was in tears yesterday in a park. Apparently she didn't want to exercise but her boyfriend said she needed to lose weight.

Blind Item #4

This foreign born B+ list dual threat actor from an acting family was sharing stories with a group of people at a bar this past weekend. Suddenly, he tells a story about when he was a kid and killed a cat and it was like everything stopped. Lock your doors when he comes around. Possible future serial killer.

Blind Item #3

This A li$t rapper was being an a-hole at a recent event. He kept hitting on the B list celebrity offspring of this permanent A++ lister. He kept trying to kiss her and grope her and rub on her and called her some choice words when she refused his advances.

Blind Item #2

This A- list mostly television actress is a celebrity offspring. At this point I hope her short lived romance with a former A list celebrity is over because he is hooking up with other women on a regular basis.

Blind Item #1

It takes a lot to get fired from a hit network show. It takes even more to get fired from two hit network shows on completely different networks. That is what happened to this B+ list mostly television actress and she says she is blacklisted from getting any new work. You know, the middle of the night rants against your bosses on social media while you were working for them might have something to do with other bosses not wanting to hire you.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Mr. X Blind Item #2

It is going to be really interesting when the next dominoes fall in the #MeToo/#TimesUp movement. It is going to take down the people who like to pretend they are part of the leaders of the movement. They have been trying to ingratiate themselves with actresses as of late so they can hopefully cushion the blowback.

Mr. X Blind Item #1

Another payday for this A+ list mostly movie actor from a modeling agency. They wanted their star to get some attention and paid extra for some PDA from the actor.

Blind Item #15

This former A+ list mostly movie actress who rarely acts outside her franchise any longer is an Oscar winner/nominee. She was also a no show at a NYFW where she was expected to be leading tributes to a designer. It was a shocker to everyone that she wasn't there as planned.

Blind Item #14

Our favorite former almost A- list mostly movie actress turned escort went on an epic rant and racist tirade as she accused a maid of stealing her coke. The former actress was in a rage. The coke was later found in a bag of the former actress but she still blamed the maid and then went on another racist rant.

Blind Item #13

This foreign born YouTuber is being gay for pay with another woman. A lot of pay. A whole ton of pay.

Blind Item #12

This A list celebrity chef and her husband must have an open marriage. He spends more time with other women than with his wife and now she is sleeping with some assistant director from a television show.

Blind Item #11

This A+ list mostly movie actress who is probably permanently A list and is an Academy Award winner/nominee has been leading a separate life from her husband and it is only a matter of when, not if they are getting a divorce.

Blind Item #10

Don't believe the hype. This former on/off screen franchise couple are not getting back together. Yes, they were at the same location recently but didn't get closer than five feet from each other and didn't exchange any words to each other. So, hold off on the reuniting and wedding. That is just not going to happen.

Blind Item #9

The widow and her minions should be more careful. Some of the people they are going after have ties to some not so friendly Eastern European mafia figures. If those people get doxxed, the mafia figures will have no issues paying a visit to the widow or her minions. 

Blind Items Revealed #5

February 27, 2017

Academy Awards

This B+ list actress who is a celebrity offspring was so coked up and antsy she could only talk to every fourth or fifth person who wanted to interview her. The first 30 minutes she was on the carpet she looked as if she would jump out of her skin.

Emma Roberts

Today's Blind Items - Direct This

I think it is possible that I may have found a director who is even worse than the Oscar winning A+ list director that has been in this space frequently or even Woody Allen. The director of which I am speaking is an Oscar winner, but not for what you might think. It is shocking actually he does not have more Oscar wins.

I do hope this is in some small part due to his raping and abusing women throughout his career. Although the number of actresses he abused is in the dozens, I am going to focus on just a few of his more notorious crimes.

He raped three tweens during a casting process and gave the role to the tween he said was the one who was the best in bed. He later ordered her to sleep with the much much older foreign born co-star on the movie who would go on to have an A list career. That co-star injured her severely and production had to be stopped for a week to allow her to recover.

The director kept her around for a couple of years under the guise of getting her more roles, but the real reason was he could send her out to find other tweens and early teens to bring back to his place where he would get them drunk or slip them drugs and then rape them. He often filmed these rapes and would film the actress with the other tween and teen females.

In the movie for which he is most famous he had friends of one of his children come to the set with the child. All of the friends were probably no older than 7 or 8. He molested a dozen of them at least during the filming of the movie and filmed many of them. When he died there were hundreds of hours of footage which was some of the most extreme versions of child porn anywhere.

Your Turn

Have you ever had a stalker?

Blind Items Revealed #4

February 26, 2017

This foreign born B+ list actress is hoping like crazy her network show gets renewed for another season. It is on the edge. Anyway, she went to a screening of her new film recently and ended up having sex in the restroom instead of watching it. Well, she did watch some. Just not about 30 minutes of it.

Priyanka Chopra

Blind Items Revealed #3 - Mr. X

February 21, 2017

This multiple Grammy winner/nominee who once dated someone we ALL know doesn't just have suicidal urges. He has tried multiple times to kill himself but is now getting some really good help.

Eminem/Mariah Carey

Blind Items Revealed #2

February 6, 2018

This A- list mostly television actress who started off in show business doing something completely different is trying to convince her often treated like crap co-star to have a baby with her. Ideally she doesn't want to date him ever again, just have a baby.

Katharine McPhee/Elyes Gabel

Blind Item #8

This married former reality star who should have gone to jail and not just Hollywood jail had to be bailed out again recently by the pastor at his church and his family when a 15 year old at the church said she had been having sex with him on a regular basis. Considering she is 15, it is rape rather than sex, but she was worried about her parents finding out so spoke to the pastor about it. I don't think her parents know yet. The only reason anyone knows anything is she told someone at school so it is only a matter of time before it gets back to her parents. My guess is they will get a big check and disown their daughter, because in their minds (guessing by which church they belong to) that it is her fault.

Blind Item #7

This street artist who likes to hide his anonymity but seems to end up on every LA based reality show anyway, hooks up with seemingly a new Instagram model each day. He always tries to give them a print of one of his works instead of cash and tells the women it is worth much more (it isn't). 

Blind Items Revealed #1

February 6, 2018

This old permanent A- list actor who all of you know is trying to convince a government to give him a passport. Apparently he thinks they owe him a favor for something. I think the guy is getting ready to skip the country should it be necessary.

Robert Wagner

Blind Item #6

This married former tweener actress turned talk show host has been hooking up with this very wealthy executive who is one of the biggest political donors around and has always had a crush on her since her tween acting days. He previously hooked up with her co-star.

Blind Item #5

This A- list singer has an adjective describing his name. He is currently dating a singer who probably is going to regret the permanence of her love for him. He is cheating on her with at least two different women.

Blind Item #4

Very interesting that when this tween show starts taking some bad hits publicly in the gossip world they send someone out to try and steer the train away from the news. The producers have never done this before so must really be worried the truth about what is happening on this show is about to be revealed.

Blind Item #3

This significant other of a Teen Mom went on a rampage last week and slapped her several times before telling her she needed to start earning more money. 

Blind Item #2

This very religious cable reality star is trying to keep her long time husband from discovering she once gave up a baby for adoption prior to meeting her now husband. He is under the impression she was a virgin when they married.

Blind Item #1

This former B list mostly movie actress turned part-time network reality star has been making most of her money lately a couple hours at a time with her ex. He is accused of multiple rapes and once dated the actress. Apparently the money is good and she has been on a losing streak of sorts.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Blind Item #15

Not only are they complicit, but many of the production executives at this almost television outlet are set up with actresses by producers of shows to get their shows picked up.


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