Friday, July 18, 2008

Sex On A Box


Have you ever had sex while standing on a wooden crate or box? How about when you were six years old? Well, Flavor Flav says he did just that. I'm not sure if Flav is having crack flashbacks or if this just explains a great deal about who he is. In an interview with Complex magazine, Flav said:

"A girl and me were having sex on a box in some big tall bushes. This was when I was real, real, real, real, young. I'm going to tell you the truth - I was six years old."

Now, lets see. Flav is 49 so when he was six that was about, what? 1965. You don't really hear about six year old kids losing their virginity in 1965. Actually you don't hear about it too much today either, and why was the sex on a box? He makes it sound as if they were standing up. Or maybe she was like 20 or something and he was standing on a box because she was standing on the ground. How the hell do two people stand on a box and have sex? Normally I would be thinking about this all day, but because then Flav would pop in my head, I'm going to go ahead, and just try and put this out of my mind as quickly as possible.

Six? I didn't even know there were girls at six. I just thought they were kids who played with different dolls. Six? What is that? First grade? "What did you do at school today son? "Not much. We learned how to add numbers without using our fingers. Oh, and I went ahead and did that hot kindergarten chick out by the bushes at recess."

17 comments:

Kat said...

I am continually astounded by the people we choose to be famous. It's like we have no freaking idea that we're being coerced into being flatline stupid. Seriously, how do the Paris', the Flavas, the Kimoras, the Coreys, and basically every other product on the planet get to be products?

It saddens me.

End O'Rant

Syko said...

That's stupid. Guys don't have the equipment at that age, they still have pee-pees.

~crazy peanut~ said...

....maybe they didn't want to get grass stains on thier Underoos?

Boywonder said...

I can't stand him. He is such a disgrace to black people, it's really ridiculous. I don't know why people like him. I guess we all want to laugh at a COMPLETE DUMBASS!!!

Harriet Hellfire said...

*shudder*

The though if Flav having sex on anything, at any age, makes me feel uncomfortable. "Yeeeaaaaahhhhh boiiiiiiiii!!!"

jax said...

marshmellow in a coin slot..6 year old boys dont get erections.

Ms. said...

Jax, very young boys do get erections. Even babies. Any doctor can tell you that. Seriously.

Also seriously disturbing to think about it [shudder]

Ms. said...

Actually, forget the doctor. Ask a parent of a young boy. Not unusual for very young boys to masturbate either. However, they obviously don't have the same context that we do.

Old Flava - it might have happened like he said, but I bet he didn't understand what it was until hindsight. From what he said, the girl was obviously older.

jax said...

sorry guess i havent had my pants down many 6 year olds...they may have them but they are not sexaully stimulated ones....was my point.

Ms. said...

I understand what you're saying about sexually stimulated ones, but that happens too. Certainly, not like someone once puberty hits, but young children do masturbate and they wouldn't do it if there wasn't pleasure involved. I know it sounds creepy and I also know how freaked out some of my friends have been when their very small children have played with themselves.

do I think the average six year old boy is going to get sexually excited through a thought or verbal interaction with someone? No. But if he's physically stimulated... Who knows what the older girl did with him. And I highly doubt that even with an erection, Flav would have known what to do with it without specific instruction.

I do know that when I was five, playmate (also five) tried to make me perform oral sex on him. He was erect. I didn't know what was going on and my Mother intervened in time, thank gawd. The boy had been sexually abused by an uncle, hence his overt sexual behaviour. Of course, none of this was explained to me until I was eleven.

Mooshki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
adrian said...

boywoner--he is a disgrace to ALL people.

Tea Lady said...

I try to never think of Flavor Flav and sex in the same universe. However, when I was in my early twenties I was walking through a parking lot by some apartments and came across two kids having sex. They could not have been more than 4 years old. I'm a parent & I'm certain neither of them was any older. It was creepy and I stopped them and told them to go home. To this day I know that those kids must have witnessed someone having sex (ugh) and I wonder why in the hell their parents would have let two kids that young run around outside alone. So I certainly believe that he may be telling the truth.

jax said...

that was more info any of us needed. im kinda repulsed.

Donnie said...

jax, she initially refuted your initial statement that boys that young can't get an erection. then you twisted it by saying that it wasn't sexually simulated. once again, she refuted it. maybe it was tmi, but clearly you DID need that information to understand that a boy that young can have a sexually simulated erection.

Judi said...

I can't believe Ent posted ANYTHING about Flav. Eww.

shakey said...

Wow Ms! You're right as the mother of penis player, believe me, little wee boys get erections and they think it's "fun" until they get a little older and all that finagling starts to hurt.

A little girl in a nearby school gave a little boy in her class a blow job. They were both 6. A teacher caught them in a more isolated corner (athough that's not saying much) of the school. When the kids and their parents were in the office the little boy blurted out happily, "It didn't hurt!" We don't know how she found out about it or what happened afterwards.