Friday, August 22, 2008
I am getting to that point in life where I want to be the cranky old man who lives down the street. You know the one. The guy who would never throw the ball back, but would either keep it, or send it back over the fence cut up or shredded. I want to be the guy that all the little kids are scared of. The one house they cross the street to avoid because he is always outside yelling at nothing in particular.
Right now, I known more for the pain and misery I cause my parents by living at home, then for being the cranky guy in the basement. I do sometimes yell out the windows at people walking by, but lets face it, I can only see their feet, so they are not exactly terrified.
Celebrities are not immune to this crankiness. You get old enough and you have some money, then you are going to take care of your crankiness in ways most of us can't.
Bette Midler and those pesky tress at her house in Hawaii? Gone. Sean Connery and his neighbors in NY. Wow, talk about cranky on both sides. Now, comes word that Lily Tomlin did the cranky bit and chopped down trees belonging to her neighbor. Just chopped them down because she thought they might fall. When the neighbors called the cops, the lumberjacks split. When the cops left, the lumberjacks returned.
At some point I guess you reach that age where you just stop wanting to work things out or be sweet and amenable. Nope, when you hit a certain age it is just f**k it, chop em down. You figure what are the cops going to do if they come? Fine, they arrest me and I'm in jail for a few hours. Chances are you are retired so it doesn't really matter for job purposes. You know you are not going to prison for years over it, and hey, you got the damn trees down.