Wednesday, July 11, 2012

National Enquirer Blind Item

WHICH newlywed talk-show host has her husband on pins and needles with cheating fears? She’s admitted to blacking out after taking the sleep aid Ambien, and then waking up to find herself on dating websites! Her two kids are even aware of her sleep-chatting habits and have threatened to password

78 comments:

MISCH said...

Bizarre

Vicki Cupper said...

If she's doing it while she's asleep how is it her fault?

FSP said...

I hate it when people threaten to password me.

angel said...

If she always ends up on dating sites and nothing else, I think her husband's fears are somewhat justified. Just sayin'..

Amber said...

LOL Ambien stories are my fav. My friend told me this story about someone she knows who took Ambien & asked her boyfriend to get them some blow and alcohol, and have sex. The next day she was PISSED because he followed through - she didn't remember any of it.

Vicki Cupper said...

True, I guess. This just so bizarre.

OT: I can't freaking STAND the use of the phrase "just sayin'". Don't get me wrong, angel, I love you. I just can't fucking stand that phrase. Just s...DAMMIT!

Lauren Eaker said...

Ricki Lake? She has two sons that would be old enough to know how to threaten a password cock block...

Laura said...

I fully agree with hating the phrase "just saying"! You just said it, I get it. (not directed at Angel) just in general.

angel said...

lol @ Vicki, I understand. It's been overused and then some. I've tried thinking of something to use instead with no success so far because I'm over it myself.

angel said...

'I'm over it' is another one. That's getting old too, lol

Kassandra said...

ROFL @FSP

sussique said...

Obviously she has unconscious desires to dump her boyfriend. Just sayin'.She thimks of her husband sand says, "I'm over it".

lazyday603 said...

Amen Vicki. Just Sayin = "I am saying something I know will piss you off, but it's OK because I'm just sayin".

WTF?

Vicki Cupper said...

@Sussique

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angel said...

lmaooo sussique!

Dena said...

"At the end of the day" too! My hubby and I think there should be a drinking game and you take a shot every time someone says it...we watch "reality" tv and this is said all the time!

angel said...

@lazyday, hmmm.. interesting how people have different takes on things. The pissed off part never occurs to me. Just sayin' has been another way of expressing 'you know?'

SueRH said...

Maybe she should stop taking Ambien.

Beca said...

I use "just sayin'" when i correct someone or make a contrary point to express that i'm not trying to pick a fight or belittle the other person. I suppose what I mean is "I'm merely expressing my own opinion without trying to invalidate your point". "Just sayin'" is shorter.
Now, the next time someone talks about "taking it to the next level" I will kick them in the shins.

angel said...

@Beca, that's pretty much it, but depending on how someone construes an expression, I can see how it could take things to the next level, risking a kick in the shins :p

Barton Fink said...

The kids are threatening to expose her if she doesn't stop engaging in unconscious behavior that she is unaware of? In the immortal words of Scooby Doo, "Whaaaaaa?"

JoElla said...

I'm gonna throw down my guess as Jada!!


Vicki I hate 'just sayin' with the passion of a thousand suns!

angel said...

Wow, I guess this gives me the excuse I needed to stop saying just sayin, lol

*karen* said...

Damn it, you guys! I rarely pick up on all those phrases as I'm reading (though I do when I hear them) and now they're going to be glaringly obvious for the next week or two! THANKS.

Terri said...

this is Joy Behar.

BreeB714 said...

oh Joy Behar would be a newlywed.. does she have kids though? no.. Ricky Lake is my guess.. Also sherri Shephard but her kid is disabled so i doubt it

Unknown said...

I don't care if it does not fit please god let this be Kathy Lee Gifford.

JoElla said...

Crap.. totally missed the newlywed

still hate just sayin'

SueRH said...

Joy Behar has a daughter but I seriously doubt it's her.

SusanB said...

I also hate "whatever". Some day I'll just snap and smack someone. Just sayin' (snicker)

Boobs U said...

Ugh, I took Ambien briefly, it was a nightmare. I would wake up to find embarassing texts I had sent to ex-boyfriends and even risque photos I did not remember taking. It was worse than alcohol!

~Z~ said...

What I cannot imagine is DRIVING while asleep! And damn, I would be PISSED if I ate a bunch of fattening food and didn't even actually taste it because I was asleep!

Terri said...

I take back my Joy Behar. I recall Susie Essman talking about it on a talk show and thought it was the View. But it was The Talk. It's one of those Talk ladies. Susie was hilarious..took it once and became a loud nympho and her kids heard her. She remembers nothing. I can't recall which Talk lady also had an Ambien story.

texgen said...

The popular phrase that I can't stand is "my friend" used at the end of a sentence. Thanks for checking on that, my friend. It's got this oddly formal yet overly familiar sound to it. I'll stick with good old " thanks buddy."

misspoppypants said...

I took Lunesta and found 7 beautiful firemen in my bedroom with me. I just never went to sleep and hallucinated these wild lines and shapes, angula, geometric, colorful and very, very terrifying. Shot my nervous system for three days. But oh those firemen, I was wide awake when I called 911. I looked like hell, too.

katsm0711 said...

why would anyone continue to take a drug that 99% don't even need after the second embarassing incident? Maybe don't drink coffee after 4pm? Don't eat junk food? Excercise? Change your life! #justsayin #couldntresist #ihatestupidhashtagstoo

Vicki Cupper said...

SusanB, omg my former roommate used to end absolutely EVERYTHING with "whatevs". I wanted to beat that bitch with a tire iron every time she would open her mouth!

OMAMA is BROKO said...

glad this sh*t's legal and obviously so popular

Texshan said...

One of my favorite authors, Jennifer Lancaster, has a hilarious blog where she sometimes writes about some of the stupid crap she buys online while on Ambien. At the top of the page, there's a photo of her with the Barbie model head she bought once -- you know, the kind where you could do her hair and makeup? Funny stuff.

http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/

Mango said...

Vicki I hate 'just sayin' with the passion of a thousand suns...

@ JoElla - you're mixing your metaphors. Suns aren't passionate. Maybe you mean you hate something with the *heat* of a thousand suns?

Just sayin'. ;)

Jeannie said...

It is SO important not to take Ambien unless you are literally going to bed the second after you swallow it. It doesn't make you feel drowsy so if you take it, say a half hour before bed and think that you'll take care of a few more things before it kicks in, that's when it's dangerous. You end up staying awake and blacking out. My fiance takes Ambien and just last week he took it but didn't go to bed right away, instead he decided to work on his motorcycle in the middle of the night, eventually passed out on the sidewalk, and was mugged. Had no idea what happened.

Refugee said...

Do these people wake up feeling well rested?

What I'm sick of....well, never liked if....the phrase "Really? REALLY??????" and when people use the phrase, "I know. Right??"

Mango said...

@ Jeannie - It made no difference with me. I took Ambien, went to bed and in the middle of the night woke up and ate a bunch of snack cakes (stuff I normally don't eat but kept in the house for guests) and left a mess in the kitchen and then went back to bed. I googled and read reports of people doing all sorts of crazy shit while under the influence of Ambien. No thanks!

Lola said...

Also, if you don't go to bed immediately it won't work half the time (I guess the half that you aren't having loud, drug fueled sex while ordering weird things off of the internet which you will get mugged for).

After about a month of taking it, it made me super jittery, like drinking a whole load of caffeine jittery. Unfortunately, all things that are supposed to help you sleep do that to me, so I'm screwed when a bout of insomnia hits (which happens about 3- times a year).

angel said...

Well, all the go to expressions I use rather than feel that I'm leaving a thought open ended have now been formally condemned. Not a good day, but I'll figure something out :)

Henriette said...

I vote for Ricki Lake, since she just got married and met him on a website.

Henriette said...

@mango
Vicki I hate 'just sayin' with the passion of a thousand suns...

@ JoElla - you're mixing your metaphors. Suns aren't passionate. Maybe you mean you hate something with the *heat* of a thousand suns?

Just sayin'. ;)
__________________________________
Actually, JoElla can say that. Suns can be "passionate" metaphorically. The literary term is personification: giving human qualities to non-human objects. Poets do it all the time;)

Finlay said...

Oh my god, yes, "Just sayin'" is horrible. It's so smug and condescending sounding. Like, "I said something cutting/funny/ironic you didn't think of!" Let's have a "just saying" jar like a swear jar only with more loathing. :)

About the Ambien thing, I loved Ambien the occasions I had to take it. Made me feel all light and a tiny bit drunk, if taken on a fairly empty stomach. One minute I'd be talking, laughing, acting fairly normal, next second IT IS MORNING! I have never done any weird stuff while under its influence though. As far as I know... I did once have an Ambien fueled dream that Lindsay Lohan was chasing me with a machine gun, on a speed boat. Bad trip, man. Bad trip.

Mary said...

I love my Ambien but I have learned to step away from anything electronic after I take it. I've written school papers and emails that I didn't recall writing, so I know to go unplugged before I say/write/do anything stupid!

Brenda L said...

I took Ambien a couple of times. I went to sleep and woke up refreshed. Damn I'm boring.

angel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
angel said...

omg Findlay, just sayin is really all that in your mind??? Whew, good thing I never used it in YOUR presence lol

The visceral reactions to a two word non vulgar expression have really stunned me.

mirsmo said...

Would Ambien be good to take right before a plane ride? Like would it knock you out completely? I want to fly with my boyfriend or my family, but I haven't been able to for a few years now because of intense anxiety attacks. I'm wondering if Ambien would work, if I had whoever my flying partner was around to keep me in check. Any thoughts from those who have taken it?

Chrissy Buns said...

@Vicki...how about the phrase, 'it is what it is'? That is the one that makes my blood BOIL, and my boss says it ALL THE TIME when anyone has a complaint!

HolidayinCambodia said...

Funny. When I was still married and living with my family, I would sleep laundry when I took Ambien. Laundry was my job, and I would do several loads in my sleep. I would wake up in the morning thinking I had all this laundry to do, and when I went down to the basement, it would all be done and folded. Sometimes it was already put away. (I never ironed in my sleep.)

Lola said...

@mirsmo, I'd take xanax rather than ambien. Another unfortunate problem with taking it is that if you get woken up before you get a full night's sleep, you feel like crap. Also, it only works in some percentage of the population (too lazy to look up what %), so it may not work for you (see my post above...it makes me MORE anxious, not sleepy). Finally, as pointed out above, the timing on it is wonky. You have to be ready to go to bed (sleep) WHEN you take it. you can't take it, say, 30 minutes before your flight, assuming that you'll be settled in 30 minutes; there is a small window to get settled in or you miss your opportunity to sleep.

Lola said...

And man, people get annoyed by common sayings. I guess I'll just usually be annoying someone (which may not be caused by my use of annoying sayings, or lack thereof) at any given time. Kind of like ellipses...they annoy the crap out of some people...but they're my very favorite form of punctuation. Three dots can say so much....

Chrissy Buns said...

Three dots are my favorite...

mirsmo said...

@Lola ugh that sucks. I can't take Xanax which is the most unfortunate thing. I took it once ten years ago and basically woke up three days later, with zero memory of what happened. It was some sort of temporary amnesia. Everyone else has really positive experiences with Xanax though!

ATLBrvMom said...

I love my Ambien and the only funny thing I do is SUI - shopping under the influence. I'll get some kids clothes in the mail every few days and then remember I bought it. Lol. Otherwise it's a wonderful, wonderful drug.

selectivesoul said...

HAHA I had to kick Ambien when I woke up the next morning naked, with neckties all over the bedroom, my husband leans up all satisfied with himself and I say "Did we have sex?" Wiped the smirk right off his face! I guess I woke up and said I want to tie him up and go at it and we did...then I didn't remember it!

May Flower said...

I went through a period of severe insomnia and nothing helped, pharmaceutical or otherwise. My doctor eventually prescribed a high dose of Ambien. It would take awhile to kick in, so before I got sleepy, I'd kill time online. Turns out, I went shopping. Oh, did I shop and shop. I bought jewelry and stuff to make jewelry--really gorgeous fresh water pearls and semi-precious gemstones, and delicious sterling silver components. Yeah...Cost me a fortune until I figured it out.

Lola said...

@mirsmo...maybe hydrocodone? That would sedate you. You might be groggy but you'd also be chill. Or maybe one of the old-stle antidepressives like trazadone or valium? Both work much pretty immediately (newer anti-depressants can take weeks). Trazadone especially is effective quickly and would probably make you sleep (it is used in small doses as a sleep aid).

katsm0711 said...

"I call it as I see it"

Radio Blah_Blah said...

Classically, I'm a deep sleeper but I went through a point in time when my mind just wouldn't turn off. I was prescribed Ambien for a short time and I never did anything crazy, but I'll tell you that it's REALLY hard to stop taking. This is because the following night, it's impossible to fall asleep. So, you just want to keep on taking the medication. I'm no longer taking it.

If the flight is more than 8 hours long, then sure, Ambien could be good. I'd suggest Xanax or a Valium though.

I think that "just sayin'" has replaced "no offense" for some people. "Just sayin'" drives me crazy! Yes, we know you just said it! "I'm sorry, but..." also needs to be eliminated. If you feel a certain way, don't be sorry. Own that shit.

Mooshki said...

LOL, Brenda. I'm a boring one too; all it did was put me to sleep.

Lola said...

@Radio...lol; I tell my daughter that if anyone says, "no offense," they most certainly DO mean offense; they just don't want to be called on it (see: "I'm sorry if that upset you, but...").

Della said...

I would not take this before flying or going out into public. I get double vision while looking at the tv or my book about 15 minutes after I take it. My husband says every time I take it I talk about how amazed I am with this side effect.

Stacey Charter said...

I, like some of you other "boring" peeps had no problems when I took Ambien...at least I don't think i did. I actually love that first fuzzy feeling of when it hits, but worried about the side issues. I have found that advilPM works just as well for me. I did have a guy friend that used to take it and become a cooking eating fool. First time he woke up to see the kitchen a total mess he called the cops thinking some transient broke in to eat... LOL He set up a camera to catch the guy in the act and found out it was actually himself. Now that was a funny ass tape to watch. Also for flying ambien sucks- I would use valium, xanax or ativan. You will still probably sleep a bit but won't be as nervous or as prone to striptease acts in the first class seating area...just sayin! (Sorry couldn't resist)

Popnursing said...

None of the above-mentioned catchphrases bother me. However, I'll be thrilled when my daughter finally stops describing everything as "Epic".

And at least NOT is dead. As in: "That story was epic - Not!!!"

jaariel said...

Well, I don't mind "just sayin', or any of the other innocuous phrases ppl say to fill in the spaces when communicating with others. It's often very difficult to discern tone when reading people's comments, and these little offhand phrases help to show that the writer intends no harm or insult to the reader. Otherwise someone can appear overly terse and sometimes judgmental, when that wasn't the intent at all. Just sayin' ...

Robert said...

Thanks for the laughs, folks--have a good one!

Mango said...

I know I'm going to offend someone, but mine is "I'm too lazy to look it up."

Seriously? How hard is Googling? I don't think I've ever broken a sweat using Google.

WUWT? said...

I agree with Beca and jaariel, "just saying" is a harmless way to say you aren't picking a fight, you are just providing a little insight or another view. I've liked it since Mad About You and Paul Riser's character would deflect arguments with "I'm just saying!" (The funniest was when Helen Hunt's character answered, "I think we're ALL saying the same thing here!" but maybe you'd need to see the episode.)

My pet peeve linguistically is "Do you know what I mean?" said after perfectly clear unconfusing things. My sister says it all the time. "I called the school, do you know what I mean? JJ had so much homework she couldn't get it all done, do you know what I mean? I tried to help her but I don't remember chemistry, do you know what I mean?" EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE! Drives me crazy.

NYCGirl said...

Popnursing, I can't stand "epic" either. Thankfully its popularity seems to have waned somewhat... (I'm a fellow fan of ellipses, Lola and Chrissy Buns.)

katsm0711 said...

I get what you guys mean about needing thing's like "just saying" bc it's hard to decipher tone through internet chat. I hated "lol" forever but now I use it all the time bc I'm dry and sarcastic and found myself apologizing and explaining way too often lol. Yeah, now it's a habit and I didn't do that to be funny (want to insert another lol here but that's too much irony? what's the word?)

Anna said...

I agree with Angel. Sounds as if newlywed woman has some sex-addiction issues, got caught and blames it on Ambien. I will mention, however, that a relative had weird experience with Ambien, but it was more like making breakfast, eating it, going back to sleep and having amnesia (Ambienesia?) enough to not remember any of it.

Coriander Shea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.