Thursday, August 23, 2012

Your Turn

Best breakup story you have ever heard. Been a part of. The one story you tell all your friends about. I enjoy telling people about the time I was with a guy and his live in girlfriend walked in and threw a drink all over his head and said that his other girlfriend had called the live in girlfriend and wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings that the boyfriend had got her pregnant and they were getting married the next week.

96 comments:

EmEyeKay said...

I've got nothin' but can't wait to read everyone else's!

Tru Leigh said...

Read this in a magazine years ago:
Man was living with a stewardess. He asked her to move out then left for the weekend. When he got back, everything was in order, nothing broken, nothing missing. Then he noticed the phone was off the hook. He picked it up, heard a recording in Japanese. The stew had called Time in Tokyo and left the phone off the hook for three days.

*karen* said...

A friend of my grandmother's was a guest at a wedding. The bride's father escorted her down the aisle where she picked up the microphone and turned and thanked everyone for coming and being supportive. "And most of all, I want to thank my fiance and my maid of honor for sleeping together last night." She put the microphone down and her father escorted her right back down the aisle.

My father always thought that story was made up or exaggerated until we were guests at another wedding and the photographer told us the exact same story about the craziest wedding that he'd photographed.

cinephreak said...

dafuq crayyy stories! I hope to never experience the fuckery of breaking up! Then again, maybe I need that utter "WTF" moment to break clean from my "sometimes" ex :/

smashbash said...

I left my husband for his step brother. :) it's a much longer story, I got married in Vegas and was divorced in less then 30 days. We were both young, I had just turned 21. Now I am 26 and have been with my bf for longer then the relationship prior.

The kid now has gained 200 pounds and the parents are divorced, the two guys were not related at all and hadn't even met each other until high school, when their parents started dating.

BK in QC said...

This is actually my sister's story. She married this dude to help him with citizenship. Mind you EVERYBODY in my family saw through him except her. So they got married and relocated. Well I go to visit my sister about a year after their marriage and she is suicidal. They had an argument while I was there and she stormed out of th e house. I naturally assumed he would chase after her and when he didnt I almost cracked his skull open when he didnt take the remote out of his hand and get up off the.couch fast enough to check on my sister. Well, he cokes back. "ummm where is my sister?" He cant find her. I end up finding my sister on the railroad tracks ready to jump in front of the next amtrak. I immediately call my mom and ask her to come so we can pack up her krap and take her home. She decides to stay with him, long story short. She actually stays with him another year. During that year I found out he fathered 2 children out.of wedlock whike still married to my sister and she refused to tell me becausebI would have dragged buddy, to.say the least. So one day, he acts.like he is going to work and never comes back. My sister was devastated. Now, she maintains a relationship with him over the phone for.several months and I do every th ing I can to convince her to divorce. She wants to stay and work I tv out but through the magic of FACEBOOK, locates alk the baby Mommas and his girlfriends and.there were several. She finds out he.moved in with the one he fathered the first.child with and that woman was actually expecting a new kid. So once he gets tired of.pregnant lady, he decides he wants.to.come back to.my sister. Well my sister had smartened up by then and had basically gone financial and got.all.of his accounts in her name. She took all of his.money. Because she was still Mrs. Meanwhile, thepregnant lady, who had a nasty attitude with my sister because she though tv she was winning called my sister to let her have it about stealing her man. My sister took a.picture of him in the shower at her house and told thenpregnant lady, I just finished with your man and I took all of your money. True, thats a.mean thing to do to a pregnant woman, but he.deserved it and she threw him out.of the.house half naked. Sorry for.predictive typing but this is a true story.

billybob said...

This truly happened to my next door neighbour. Every morning he went to work in a bank. After he left, his wife would let in her fancy man. And he’d be gone when hubby returned. I knew nothing about this because I worked during the day too. Anyway, he returned home one afternoon and all that was left in the house was a deckchair. Nothing else. And what was worse, I was off that day. I saw the van, and the girl next door tearfully told me that she was moving...with her hubby to another town. I wished her all the best. But when hubby got back, he knew nothing about them moving out. Apparently, according to another neighbour, she’d gone to live about a hundred miles away with her fancy man. Oh, and there was a child involved. Hubby moved back to his mother. We never saw any of them again. What a bitch!

hothotheat said...

Not sure if this is a "Break up story" but here's a fine example of Karma:

A guy I broke up with because he was cheating on me, ended up marrying the girl he was cheating with. Then 2 years into the marriage, his brother catches cheating, tells him, and they end up getting divorced. You certainly reap what you sow.



hothotheat said...

^ catches HER cheating

Ms Cool said...

My fiance lived with my parents while I was at college until he found a job. We moved him into a new apartment a few months after he got a job. He told me that he didn't get his phone number from the phone company yet (and told me this while talking to me on the phone from his new apartment- I starting wising up during that conversation).

He sat on the couch half-awake as my family decorated for Christmas and told me he would call me after he walked out the door. I knew he wouldn't and he didn't for two months when he called me drunk and crying. I wasn't interested. Then he asked for the ring back. As I had money invested in the reception and dress, I said we could call it even.

Turns out he met someone at his new job and lived with my parents for free, knowing he wanted to break up with me. It was the most humiliating experience because he DIDN'T EVEN BREAK UP WITH ME. He just stopped calling. I told him to not only not call me again but to never think of me again.

Though it was a shitty experience, it was the biggest gift ever. He's divorced and I'm married to an awesome man and the main stone in my lovely setting was paid for by my ex-fiance. Ha!

*karen* said...

My great-aunt was on her third husband and I guess started suspecting him of cheating? Anyway, she was always into psychics and the like and would go semi-regularly. So she asks this psychic about her husband and the woman responded, "Your husband goes to see his first wife every day."

My great-aunt thought that that was impossible because his first wife was dead, but she followed him one day when he should have been going to work--all the way to the cemetary. I'm not sure whether he quit his job or was laid off, but he continued to walk out of the house with a briefcase every morning and come home after the "workday."

Instead, he would spend all day talking to his wife's grave. My great-aunt's marriage ended shortly thereafter and she has never married again because she had such bad luck.

dizzyeggs said...

oooh, i have one! i was at my apartment painting, when the guy i was 'dating' showed up unannounced (like always), and started ragging on the music i was listening to. it was a popular music station(r&b, pop) in the pnw, so i didn't understand at first, but i kind of had a light bulb moment and told him i didn't like his attitude considering i was a quarter black (hey, i have my italian dad's very full mouth, so it could work, right?) i remember giggling when he was on his way out the door and i yelled after him "you should meet my dad"! no room for hate in my life. i was a little pleased with myself;o)

nolachickee said...

An ex of mine was lining up his next girlfriend while he was still with me. He then blindsided me with the break up. He took me to a restaurant to break up with me because he thought I wouldn't make a scene if we were in public. I made a huge fucking scene.

AKM said...

I got dumped by someone on the day we put down my dog. I thought that was fairly insensitive, to say the least.

*karen* said...

I know a guy who broke up with his girlfriend in high school on her birthday...which also happened to be Valentine's Day.

Coriander Shea said...
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jane3113 said...

Was with the love of my life for a few years. Got a sexy (read gross and juvenile) text from him. Wasn't meant for me. Moved out. Bad times.

bobbi_1025 said...

Ok my mom's story first. She was dating a turd and after a fight he left. It was his home so my mom didn't know what to do but she was/is very vindictive. She took all his clothes and proceeded to hang them on street signs, fences, she even made complete outfits layer out on the road. She did this for miles. She also took all the lightbulbs and unscrewed them so they wouldn't turn on so he would think the power was cut off. She put sand in his bed and took all the toilet paper. They ended up getting back together and breaking up a few more times after that.

As for me personally, a boyfriend was cheating on me and left me for the other girl. I knew he left his truck unlocked in the school parking lot. I went and bought deer piss and poured it in his air vents. I put sardines in his toolbox, and then took Saran wrap and wrapped his whole vehicle so he couldn't open the doors. And just to make it harder I followed that up with packing tape.
And it was May in Florida. I heard it smelled great.

Kelli said...

Wow, these stories are so good! I don't have any really good break up stories myself, but my mother told me a a story about her friend.

About a year or so ago, she met this guy on match.com or e-harmony, and they fell head over heels for each other. He retired early and she had gotten laid off so they started spending all their time together, and she even moved in with him after a couple of months. They were blissfully happy, my mother said she'd never seen her so happy. They went to California to visit his daughter who was married to this Bigwig, they were filthy rich, they started talking marraige. They were together 24-7. They even sent out one of those silly dancing elves e-christmas cards from staples, the one where you plug your pictures in, etc.

One day she had an appointment with her condo board, and she wound up going to lunch with the ladies, who she hadn't seen in months because she'd been w/this guy. Lunch turned into dinner. She finally gets home and he FREAKS on her, the fact that she was gone all day. He said he was planning a romantic weekend for them and she ruined it. She woke up the next morning and he had set two empty boxes on the bathroom sink and told her he thought it was best she leave. She looked at him, didnt say a word, packed up her things and left, never looked back. A month or so later he started calling her. She has never picked up the phone or spoken to him. He still continues to call her.

Psycho.

Kelli said...

OHHH and I forgot to mention that within 24 hours, his profile was back on the dating site!

Manda_kitty said...

My ex is crazy and a hacker and he hacked into my phone and got all the text messages and phone conversations I had with my new boyfriend and threatened to ruin my life and create a website telling everyone I was a whore and blah, blah, blah. Oh, he's the one who broke up with me because I was showing my guy friend my hedgehog and he walked in on us talking and sitting several feet apart. This was 3 years ago and he's still messing with my life. He called me a whore among other things on Facebook and tagged me in everything bc he stole my phone and read all my texts and called my boyfriend to ask if we were sleeping together. What had I done? I ignored him and tried to move on so that's where all the hate came from. That's just the surface. I woke up and realized he hadn't and will never change. I thought we could be somewhat friends, but we can't.

Munch said...

My best friend found out the love of her life, when going on a 'business' trip to Portugal, was taking the office skank along. My bestie had keys to his flat so as soon as his plane was in the air she went in and sprinkled cress seeds throughout the whole place then watered liberally. Left a tap running on a trickle with a hose onto the hall carpet so the whole place didn't flood, just kept the floor moist. When he came back 10 days later there was a 3" cress carpet.

Seachica said...

I was the unknowing "other woman" in a memorable breakup...I may have shared this story before, and it's long, so bear with me.

I met a guy online who claimed to be divorced (don't they *always* start that way?!). We went out 7 or 8 times, when I got a voice mail one night from a woman claiming to be his wife. He was late coming home and he had called me earlier that day from their phone. I reverse-looked up the phone #, and it was registered in her name at the condo where this guy lived. More research on her name pulled up a marriage announcement and voting record. I don't call her back.

The next day he -- we'll call him Cheating Bastard (CB) -- called me for a date. I told him that he could never see me, and why. He stumbled, said he would take care of things (shudder) and hung up.

Several months later, I get an email from CB saying that he's now nearly divorced and wants to see me again. I email back asking when the divorce is final, and he replies (after a week) that she is reconsidering and is fighting the divorce. I email him to never contact me again.

A week later, I'm at a bar and meet a woman there. We are sharing stories over pints, and I share my dating story. She goes pale -- she had gone out on a date with the same guy earlier that week!

We go home and compare notes, including online dating profiles -- yup, same guy. I've had enough, so decide to contact the wife to let her know what a CB her husband is. I email her at work (ah, the power of LinkedIn!), including email from him and photos and links to his dating profile. She replies a week later that that week he'd come home and told her he wanted a divorce. She went through his computer and found an Excel file with all of the women he'd been seeing, with ratings. I offered to help with any case for divorce, but never heard back from her again. I still think of her, and hope she got *everything* from the scumbag.

And this is why I can't be too harsh on women who date married men. Sometimes they lie to your face and you don't know the truth. I had googled his name, done everything short of a private investigator, but nothing turned up that he was married. He had even invited me to a friend's out-of-town wedding -- not what you'd expect from a married man!

Beth said...

This happened sometime in 80s. My mother knew a few people who went to this particular wedding.

I can't remember whether the bride walked up the aisle to make the announcement or if someone did it for her. In any event, the guests were all invited to look under their chairs. There, they found pictures of the groom and maid of honor being far more than platonic.

Moxie said...

My dear friend had found a great guy, they were crazy in love and talking marriage. He went back east to visit family for Christmas. He didn't call the night he was due back in town, which she thought was odd, but she left a message and assumed she'd hear from him the next day. Nope. She left several messages, went to his apartment, she was confused and worried.

Finally, after about a week, he called her to say he had run into an ex-girlfriend while visiting his family and they eloped. Yep, ran off and got married after a few days of "re-connecting." He said he was sorry but what can ya do? I felt terrible for my friend, she was so crazy about him!

AKM said...

"She went through his computer and found an Excel file with all of the women he'd been seeing, with ratings."

My jaw literally just dropped as a read that. Ick.

A couple of these stories sound like urban legends:

http://www.snopes.com/weddings/embarrass/bothered.asp

*karen* said...

@Beth, that's wild!!! It has to be the same wedding because this one was definitely in the 80s. I don't know where it took place, but the photographer was located in the Washington DC area (and that's where I'm from and currently live) so I'd assume nearby.

kelgela said...

I broke up with my ex because he called me fat. Also because the sex wasn't that great. I feel bad for telling him that and I want to say sorry.
Anyways...this is how my friend's wife broke up with him:
They met about a year before I met him and started going out six months in. She moved back to Mexico and he stayed in Texas. They had a long distance thing going on. When I met him, they had already been going out for six months. I didn't know and started to like him. He said he liked me too so we started to talk and talk. It got to the point that I thought he was going to ask me out. He told me one day that he already had a girlfriend. So, I was like, whatever, I'll get over it. And I did.

I moved back to where I am right now, and about a year later, he tells me he married her. A couple of months later, he tells me that she left him and that she won't sign the divorce papers until he gets her here to the US legally. Oh, she also had a live in boyfriend back in Mexico before they got married.

2 years later and she still won't sign the papers. He has a new girlfriend, who I think is wonderful and very understanding. I don't think I would be able to be with someone that was married.

Anna said...
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50s in the Future said...

So my friend found out her husband was cheating on her a few years ago. It turned out that all the "extra hours" he was putting in at work were actually being spent with his new girlfriend. Ho hum. They split after giving the kids one last Christmas as a family, he moved in with the girlfriend, she kept running her daycare business from their home.

So she loses piles of weight, which she attributes to being too stressed to eat. She starts selling things from the house, telling everyone that she needs to buy food/pay bills/etc. because her now ex-husband isn't paying spousal or child support until the court orders it. She gets a new boyfriend, who was actually an old boyfriend from high school or college or some bullshit.

After a few months of this, she sends her kids to spend the weekend with their friends. Her daughter is at one house, her son is at another. When the weekend ends the kids still haven't heard from their mom, so the mothers of their friends take them home to see what's going on.

The house was GUTTED. All the furniture was gone. Everything that wasn't physically attached to the house had been removed. The dog and the cats had been locked indoors all weekend without food, and had done their business all over the place. Mom is nowhere to be found.

The dad is called, and he and the new girlfriend rush home to get the kids. The dad finds out that the ex-wife has developed a raging coke habit with her cool new boyfriend, and has taken out every penny of equity they had in the home. He's forced to move back into the marital home with the new girlfriend, because he can't afford to sell the house anymore.

The kids still live with the dad and now step-mom, and have a better relationship with her than they do with their own mother. At least she doesn't get coked up and laugh when her boyfriend beats the dog and calls the daughter a slut, like their mother does.

Vicer4Life said...

My friend and a neighbor were involved in this story:
Guy meets girl #2 at a party. Says he recently broke up with girl #1 and is drowning his tears in sorrow. They hook up and begin a very hot and heavy relationship. Guy starts having trouble “getting it up” in their afternoon freak sessions, so girl #2 get him Viagra.
Girl #1 and Girl #2 meet and start comparing notes. Turns out girl #1 was leaving guy’s apartment for class when girl #2 was coming by for the unsuccessful quickies.
The Girls exact revenge by trashing his apartment, destroying his cell phone, pouring his favorite beer down the drain and taking back all the gifts they bought the guy. Girl #2 calls guy’s Dad and tells him everything and how she had been doing the guy’s homework so he could graduate from college.

Two Time Mama said...

I dated a guy in college. He had broken up with his long term girlfriend, and pursued me heavily. Eventually I gave in and we got together. Against my better judgement (always listen to your gut!) we became serious. One day I called his dorm room and his roommate took pity on me and told me my "boyfriend" had gotten back with his ex weeks ago and was at her apartment that night. I was livid. I sent him a scathing email and told him never to contact me again. To get revenge I registered him on several gay porn sites. This was back in 1998 when there were chat rooms, etc... I used his real name, the name of our school, his real email, and created a public account where "he" was asking for only serious parties to contact him. Lol! I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was very descriptive *snicker*. I don't know if he ever got any inquiries, but it still makes me laugh to this day.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Both of these are my friends stories, but I think they're hilarious.

Friend one broke up with her man by throwing a piece of chicken at him while he was waiting for the elevator.

Friend number two broke off her engagement ONE WEEK before the wedding, and this was her second time doing so (different guys).

AKM said...

Sue Ellen, is your Friend #2 Julia Roberts? I kid, I kid. ;-)

*karen* said...

Ohh man. I just remembered something that I did to an ex. So he broke up with me after about a year to concentrate on school. Then we were still kind of seeing each other, but I got fed up because he clearly DID have time for me. Anyway, a few months later we get back together after he promises that he won't break up with me again. ONE MONTH LATER, he breaks up with me, again so that he can concentrate on school.

My best friend and I searched out all the free sample websites and signed him up. The best was the free tampons sample because it suggested that you "e-mail your friends and let them know about getting a free sample!"

We put in every single one of his guy friends' e-mail addresses with a message that said how much he loved them during his time of the month.

Since I hadn't learned my lesson either of those times, we got back together a year later. He told me about the samples and the e-mails to his friends and he was still FURIOUS over that and had blamed it on another girl that he'd gone out with once. We dated for 3 1/2 more years and I never breathed a word that it was me.

Reese said...

A very good friend of mine grew up with Ty Pennington; he and his brother and cousin were good friends and schoolmates of hers. She has nothing but good things to say about him...he was really nice, bright, funny, etc., but he was definitely a big partier and had some really wild girlfriends. This situation happened back in his modeling days; he was sharing a home with a male friend, and he had a "crazy" girlfriend. Ty had been off working and had just gotten back home in Atlanta, and the crazy girlfriend came over to the house because she was convinced he'd been cheating on her in his time away. She absolutely destroyed everything she could lay hands on. The place looked like a war zone. What she didn't realize was, that everything she had laid waste to belonged to the roommate, not Ty. She even smashed the windshield of the roomie's car, thinking it was Ty's. Don't know how it all ended up being settled, but she was the ex-girlfriend very quickly.

peabee said...

Very short pre-breakup story about a college roommate:

She was expecting an engagement ring for Christmas. He gave her motivational/self-improvement tapes.

MK said...
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Maja. With a J. said...

My husband told me this story, about a friend of his who, on valentine's day, made dinner reservations at the fancy restaurant at the top of the Calgary Tower and brought his girlfriend there only to break up with her half way through dinner.

I don't know if she had done something to deserve it like cheat on him or something, or if he was just being an asshole. I also don't know who picked up the check.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@AKM

Heh. That's what we call her. The original Run Away Bride.

Jesse D said...

Best breakup ever...my crazy mother just kicked my two children and I out of her house. My 14 year old and I both just started school. I'm going to lose my grant and I have no money, no car. Thank God for shelters.

Sarah said...

My ex, whom I was living with, broke up with me on my birthday. That was fun.

Another ex broke up with me while we were staying at his parents house. Also fun.

I am GREAT at choosing boyfriends.

Sarah said...

@Jesse D I'm so sorry, I hope you manage to sort things out and stay in school. Thinking of you

Andriana said...

Here's a breakup story that happened to one of my best friends... After she broke up with this guy she was dating a few years back, he went crazy, calling her house all the time, being overly stalkerish and creepy.

My friend ignored it and started dating someone else. She actually ended up marrying the new guy rather quickly, but the ex was still obsessed with her. So obsessed that he got her initials tattooed on the back of his neck in an effort to prove his love and win her back. But, she was in love with the new guy and married him. So, the ex tattooed her OLD initials since she took her married name!

Once she found out about the tattoo, she changed all of her phone numbers, blocked him on FB, made her Twitter private, etc.

Eventually, the ex seemed to get over her started dating again. But, he told his new girlfriend that the tattoo stands for "My Love Kills." Only a few of us know what it actually means and the guy STILL gets made fun of today.

smashbash said...

Your story is fucking amazing!!

*CAPTURE* Photography by Sarah said...

I call his "Twenty Dollar Steve". I was seeing him. Sex was great. One night, we met for drinks and it was on like donkey kong. In the car, in the garage when we arrived, and on the stairs inside then in front of the fire place. Now, I was in the process of moving. I had keys to the old empty place a block away from my house. I decided to go into the empty house for fun.

So it's getting heated and sexy and he has everything off but his socks. He lays down in front of the fireplace. I start the BJ. And then I hear it. THE SNORING. Passed out right in the middle of hot steamy sex because he DRANK TOO MUCH! That was it.

I got up, got dressed, I was so pissed I left him there sleeping on the floor, in his socks, in an empty house that he had no idea where he was (I drove!) And on my way out, took $20 out of his wallet for good measure.

He called me the next day, he was SO mad! He had to walk to McDonalds in the rain, had no coat and didnt know where he was LOL

See if you ever fall asleep on ME again! HAHAHA!

happygrl said...

I went with my husband to the Dr on the day that he was getting a vasectomy. We were making small talk with the dr and asked him if he has ever reversed one. He told us about one that he did...The man and his wife were in and had the vasectomy done, the very next day she divorced him! The man eventually remarried and had it successfully reversed.

smashbash said...

Good revenge story.

A friend walked in on her plastered boyfriend naked in bed with another girl. She took all his right shoes, 20,000 dollars he had, the girls cellphone and the keys to his car.

She texted everyone on the girls phone saying she had contracted an STD and didn't know what to do. Within minutes this chics phone has 20 missed calls from friends, family, parents and her pastor!!! My girlfriend put the phone back in the house while they were still passed out.

She eventually got pregnant by this ass and gave him all his shit back. 2 years later she breaks up with him because of him growing pot in their house with their child.

I think she has found a new guy who is a country boy and doesn't do drugs, only drinks. :) Since that is better. *rolls eyes*

Ice Angel said...

Funniest one of my life: I was dating this somewhat dorky uptight guy as revenge against his friend who had dumped me a few months prior.

Anyway..I am really into Halloween. I mean REALLY into it! We got invited to a Halloween party and I came up with what I thought was a cute costume idea. He would be Snidley Whiplash and I would be the girl tied to the railroad tracks. I wore an old fashioned costume and fashioned these amazing railroad tracks that would be strapped to my back with a word bubble above my head that said "Help HELP!!!" All he had to do was wear black, a fake moustache and a bolo tie.

Well, he refused to put the railroad tracks on me before going into the party and also refused to wear the moustache! He was too embarrassed. So I tied tied the tracks to myself and marched right into that party (keep in mind I did not know a soul-all HIS friends!)

I didn't speak to him the entire night, but everyone there got a huge kick out of my costume and everyone told him what a jerk he was being. On the way to the car, I turned to him and broke up with him-still wearing my railroad tracks!

P,S. Happy ending to the story...my husband and I did the same costume a few years ago together and were a huge hit at a party-won best costume. He laughs every time I tell him my reluctant Snidley Whiplas story!

moondancekat said...

2 stories:
My 1st boyfriend broke up with me on Christmas Eve but still came over on Christmas Day to give me a present. How sweet of him, no? The girl he dumped me for got pregnant very shortly after that – we were all around 17. Dodged that bullet!

My ex husband cheated on me for years (probably) but I found proof one morning and left him the same day. For a few weeks after that, I would go to our townhouse and pick up my stuff to move it to my parents house. Many times I also peed on his toothbrush and left it all nice in the holder for him.
The day before he changed the locks on me, I was moving the last of my stuff out with my sister and my best friend and my sister dared me to “spike” his Lynchburg Lemonade that was in the fridge, so I did. Just pee in a cup and then do the transfer…Found out later that while I was getting the rest of my stuff out that day, he was down at the community pool with “her”. My neighbor also told me that they must have had a big party there that week because there were all types of booze bottles in the recycling, including the empty, but previously spiked Lemonade bottle!

We are actually friends now, but I could never tell him that I did this.

BigMama said...

Walked in on my ex in a bar when i was 4 months pregnant. Went to see if he needed a ride home, he had his tongue down a woman's throat and a hand up her blouse (classy place) The room got quiet and he realized I was there. The woman walked away snickering and soon the whole bar did as well. I stode over to him and with a giant smile said "Thank you" he glared and said "For what?" I calmly replied "I have been looking for a reason to leave your sorry ass and you just gave it to me" and walked out. I was 21. Moved across the country and raised my daughter by myself. Never spoke to him again or got support. Don't regret it one bit. Oh, he was alot older than me too. Douchebag!

evergrey said...

The night of my bachelorette party, two of my girl friends (who didn't know each other well) starting talking about the guy each were dating - friend #1 saying how funny, interesting, quirky her guy was and the other girl, friend #2, laughing and saying that sounds so much like the guy she's dating. Turns out, they were both dating the same guy!!!
They had met on Match, and friend #1 was actually pretty serious with him. But it gets even better!!
The friend #2 broke it off, but friend #1 actually kept dating him. She even brought him to my wedding two weeks later. (maybe she didn't want to go alone to the wedding..), where friend #2 was in attendance. And to top it all off - another friend of ours, who had caught wind of this whole drama, walked up to the guy who's sitting next to friend #1 and slaps a $20 bill on the table in front of him and dares him to ask friend #2 to dance!!!

Ahhh that story lives in infamy even 10 years later.

Friend #1 did eventually break it off with Match guy and is now married to a great guy - so all ends well.

Ice Angel said...

My neighbor 3 doors down had a wife and 2 kids. A daughter about 10 and a son about 7. He acted like he was the best thing around and really thought his sh*t didn't stink.

Until one day, the cops showed up at his work. Turns out he was talking to someone he thought was a 14 year old girl online via a webcam and masturbated for the camera. Turns out it was a sting operation. They came straight into his work and walked him out in cuffs in front of the entire company.

The next day, a For Sale sign was out front of his house-he moved back with his mom, his wife got an immediate divorce. She remarried quite quickly to a really nice guy and they just had a beautiful little baby. I see her all the time at baseball games and such and she is just so happy now.

Somelacey said...

I was dumped while on a fairground ride.That was the longest most awkward ride of my life ..that wasn't sexual .

Mango said...

We were at my friend's apartment one evening exchanging breakup stories and one guy, Richard, told us this one that he caused:

Richard was sharing an apartment with another couple, his friend, M, and M's girlfriend, G. Richard and G found that they were attracted to each other and began sleeping together. M eventually found out. He waited until Richard was in the bathtub (actually taking a bath and not showering) and tossed G's cat into the tub. The cat, of course, FREAKED and cliiiiimbed Richard with all four paws, claws extended, and ripped Richard to shreds.

Richard said he was a bloody, painful mess and that he packed his shit up and left that night.

I guess it could have been worse. It could have been a toaster, lol.

Tuxedo Cat said...

@Jesse D, this is terrible. If you were closer you could stay here until you found a place.

RubyDust said...

True story. College, junior year, just after a bad break-up with a boyfriend. I was lonely, got assigned a group economics project with a cute guy. Cute guy asked me out, we went out, holding hands all over campus, all very nice, I'm thinking it's all good.

Go back to his apartment, drank more, did some bong hits, he decides he's too wasted to drive me home. Okay. He gives me one of his t-shirts in which to sleep, and we go to sleep on his wall-to-wall mattress on the floor of his room. No sex, he was too wasted.

Next morning, I wake up to find a girl in the bedroom door, angrily demanding to know who I was. I asked the same of her, and she replied, 'HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!" Oh. Meanwhile, cute guy has said nothing but put his hands over his face. I go off to the bathroom to put my clothes on, still drunk from the night before. I was wobbly, so I grapped the towel bar for balance but instead managed to pull it right off the wall. Oops.

I come out, cute guy has to drive me home still. Girlfriend is insisting on going along for the ride. She and I get into one of those ultra-polite arguments about who should ride next to him in the front seat. She insisted I ride shotgun, so I did. Most awkward ride EVER.

There was still three or four weeks left in the semester but that guy never showed up in class again. I never figured out how he managed that unless he just took the fail. I don't know if that was his choice, or his girlfriend's ultimatum or what.

Anyway, that was the closest I ever came to being a statistic in a crime of passion. LOL

marlolovespaty said...

When I was 16, I was nuts about a guy who worked at the convenience store in my neighborhood. He was 18 and an avid pool player. He spents hours and hours playing pool. We slowly started seeing each other and talked on the phone for hours....

On our first official date, he took me to a clubhouse that had a pool table. I'd never played pool in my life and I told him so repeatedly. I guess he thought I was trying to be coy.

We started a game of pool, but once he saw how crappy I was at it (I didn't know there were stripes and solids, and just hit any ball I could!), he promptly loaded me back into his car and took me back home.

His parting words? "I like you a lot, but I need someone that knows how to play pool!"

katsm0711 said...

After about 3 months with this guy when we were 22, for 2 weeks I was unhappy and deciding if I should end it. I decided to but it was Valentines Day and I said no way I'd do that on Valentines Day. So we went to dinner and he kept asking what's wrong? I did say I'd rather not discuss it today let's just enjoy the holiday but he wouldn't stop asking. At dinner. I finally said I wanted to end it. I forget if he held his composure in the restaurant but he was hysterical (drama queen one reason why I had enough) and we were fighting in his families driveway at 2am. He punched my car, broke his knuckles. Since his family was sleeping I said of course I'll take u to the ER. Most awkward 3 hours ever spent breaking up in an ER while he's in so much pain waiting for a dr. Finally he said this is brutal just take me home. So his brother took him in the morning and he broke 3 knuckles.

Tuxedo Cat said...

Listen to this:

This is about the man who left me for the Angelina-type. This is what happened with his first wife (Jane).

He has an identical twin. They worked at the same place doing similar jobs.

B (his twin) dated Jane (Wife#1) for 6 months.

A (my ex) stole Jane from B.

A ended up marrying Jane and is now husband #1 of Jane.

My Ex (A and now Husband #1 of Jane) and Jane had two kids, now in their late teens.

A, B and Jane all lived together for a time, and A walked in to find Jane and B doing the nasty.

B drove out in the dark and tried to kill himself. A gave Jane a year to prove her fidelity and during that year, she found Husband #2.

Jane never knew that Husband #1 had cheated on her the night before they married.

Jane and Husband#2 married and had a child. There are now three children. But wait....

Jane and Husband#2 divorced after a few years, and she married a young guy, Husband#3.

She left the first three children with Husband#2, who raised them alone. I did what I could to help him, as these are like stepchildren to me.

Jane moved away and is still with Husband #3.




Tuxedo Cat said...

BC in QC this is terrible!

ballet pumps said...

Long story so try to keep it succinct - was seeing this guy/colleague who had pursued me when my long term relationship with my daughters father was coming to a horrible but long overdue end. He came on strong and even though he wasn't my cup of tea, I though what the heck, I have just come out of a miserable relationship, let me roll with this and see what happens and at least have some long overdue fun in the meantime.

Was seeing the guy for about 10 months on the DL and he was very full on and intense, declarations of life-long love blah blah, and it was fun and I was rolling with it. Then things started to feel a bit off, I thought it was because I was feeling very unsettled and overwhelmed due to things being very difficult with ex, I hadn't given myself time to get over things, had maybe rushed into rebound etc etc.

Then the guy I was seeing started to act a bit off, going awol, acting out of character. My b/s radar started to ping. One evening he tells me that he won't be around as unexpectedly, his sister was flying into town from their home town in west africa and he had to go to the airport to collect her. I knew he was lying so checked all the incoming flights to the airport he said he was going to and guess what, no flights from said location.

I confront him about it that evening when he eventually calls me and initially he denies that he was lying and says that I have made a mistake. I am insistent that I haven't and that he needs to cut the crap, stop lying and tell me the truth. He asks for a 10 minutes break - WFT?! I agree, partly because I was dying to hear what he was going to come up with...and this is his story:

Yes, indeed, he had lied about his sister coming in from out of town. This is because he was with another sister, going to see a witch doctor, to try and track down his ex-wife and his daughter - his ex had moved without telling him or leaving a forwarding address 2 years previously - and the witch doctor had told him that the ex wife had cast a spell on him to stop him finding his daughter. He had to drive around town planting bags of special herbs in specific locations in an attempt to break the spell, hence why he was 'unavailable'. Oh, and he had lied to me as he was trying to 'protect' me.

I dumped his sorry, lying, manipulative ass there and then. He never told me the truth but I suspect that he was becoming bored as the relationship wasn't progressing due to all my non-moving baggage and was seeing someone else but didn't have the balls to tell me, and used the 'trying to find my daughter' story as he thought it would tug on my heart strings. I now think he was a narcissist and I had a lucky escape. He still texts me from time to time which I ignore - loser. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my days then end up with someone like him.

BigMama said...

@ballet - now THAT was some crazy shit!

auntliddy said...

My friend thought her husband was cheating, and drove to the house he was at, a nd there was his car. She didnt say a word- just left HER car and rove HIS home. Imagine his reaction when he came out??!! Ps, must hv worked it out, still together 20 yrs later.

CrazyCatLady said...

The morning my boyfriend and I were supposed to leave for a romantic vacation, I caught him in bed with another woman (skank is actually better). This was after I had agreed to give him a second chance for cheating on me once before. I did make him pay me back my portion of the trip plus some extra money for 'pain and suffering". Oh, and I turned him in to the IRS a few years later for not paying his taxes.

rejectedcarebear said...

This isn't as horrible as most but it was devastating for me. I had a best best best friend, more like sisters, and we were friends for over a decade. She introduces me to this guy, who was not attractive but he was so smart and funny, I fell head over heels. We talked for weeks and hung out a couple times but one night we were going to a party and you know what that means.. Hookup! I ended up leaving the party early (2 am early) cause I had to work at 6 am. Well he did hookup that night, with my best best fucking friend. He has ignored me ever since this happened and can't even look at me. She kept it from me for a weekend( and we hung out all fucking weekend!) We managed to stay friends for about a year afterwards. Recently I've cut her out of my life. It was awful, lost a guy and a best friend. I'm better off but it still stings..rejection is horrible. OH yeah 2 weeks after it happened I got to watch them walk down the aisle at a wedding ( they didn't get married just in the wedding party)

WednesdayFriday said...

I was dumped on my birthday, at a party, 4 shots of So-Co in....


It wasn't pretty.

bobbi_1025 said...

I feel your pain. My best friend since middle school gave my boyfriend head. I didn't find out until 4-5 months later when he called me drunk crying wanting to get back together and admitted that it happened. We had broke up about a month or so prior for other reasons. To make it worse, the bitch was at my house when the call went down. Awkward!!

wenx said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Henriette said...

I got a few good ones! Here is one that I really like though. A couple of years ago I met a guy on one of the dating sites who just went nuts over me. I was a bit lonely and hadn't dated in a while, so it was rather sweet.

I met him in late July and my birthday is mid-August. I had planned to go away for my bday, but when he found out he got all mushy and said he would "surprise me."

I got excited and canceled my bday plans and waited and waited. The guy never called me back! When I finally got a hold of him to tell him off, he BLAMED me! He said I was "needy, controlling, and too vanilla" for him. This from the guy who chased me down and called me daily.

Anyhoo, I knew was a prof and tracked him down. You know profs should be careful about their dating because there a TON of websites to rate them. Let's just say I had a field day discussing this prof on those sites.

PugsterMom said...

What a douchebag.

DaveForPresident said...

My bf was going to pick up something at my house. Since his apt was on my way to work, I thought I'd be sweet and drop it off instead. I let myself in since we exchanged keys. I headed to his bedroom for a sweet morning surprise kiss. Took me a few minutes for my brain to register what my eyes saw: him getting head. I pulled that bitch's head up by her hair so I could see her face. She wouldn't move otherwise. She knew I was there but hoovered over him, frozen like a dead fish. I looked at her. Turned to my bf and said "this is what I get after 2.5 years?". I walked out and never looked back.
Broke up with another loser psycho bf after many, many issues. The juiciest being the fact that The Rabbit vibrator he bought me he insisted keeping in the coat closet. I found out because it was easier to take from the house in the middle of the night. Ewwww! After breaking up, he would show up at my parents house who lived 3 hours away, at my job, at my friends houses. He even broke into my apt and tied a string to the garage door release and put a hole in the garage door with the string coming through. His idea to be able to get in whenever he wanted but really, who the HELL is not going to notice a black string dangling on a beige garage door??? Dumbass.

Me said...

"Since I hadn't learned my lesson either of those times, we got back together a year later." haha! sadly i think we all do that...
"Many times I also peed on his toothbrush and left it all nice in the holder for him." that made ME pee my pants!!!
oh, i SO enjoyed reading these. was thinking today that when it comes to breaking up; all bets are off.
so this story isn't mine, but its very recent. my friend is divorced and has a teen aged daughter. she decided to try online dating and meets thi guy and hey hit it off and about end up moving in together. so he starts acting "off", and distant. since they had met online she went back to the dating site they had met on and there he was! picture and everything, saying he was "single". so she made up a fake profile, listed a couple of things she knew he would like and BAM, he contacts her. after just a few nights he was sending her naked pictures of himself and asking her to meet him. she was super pissed. so she starts this thing where she gets online with him (she's in the back of the house while he's in the front). just to dick with him, she would say something REALLY suggestive online and then before he could respond she'd go up to where he was and ask him something like "do you think we should change salad dressings? are we in a salad dressing rut?" he would be frothing at the mouth to get back to the computer, but she would just go on and on and make that impossible. she got her own place and had everything set up for her daughter and kept on fucking with him for the whole time. for weeks this went on. finally she took a day off work and moved he last of her things. she left him a note saying she was leaving him because he was a cheating piece of shit. he became insane. stalked her at work, followed her home, calling her cell. he denied that he cheated, "you have no proof. i never even think about other women". after about 3 weeks she got online with him again and she said "i have a secret to tell you". and she told him who she was. called him ever name in the book.
this was about 6 months ago and he still contacts her every week or so, BEGGING her to come back. she's moved on.
she is SO good looking, and he is NOT. never knew what she saw in him anyway.
thanks everyone for all the stories.

Mischievous Angel said...

That is actually really sad all around.

Popnursing said...

bummer! ouch.

Popnursing said...

circa 1996 and I'm dating this guy in another town. My office just got this new technology called e-mail and it rocks! It's like long distance but for FREE! For weeks I keep pushing him to get an e-mail. He finally does and promptly uses it to dump me.

KSam said...

Big points for creativity on this one..,

All about Eve said...

@Jesse D, I'm sorry to hear this, hope things get better soon

Agent**It said...

@@Jesse D , me, too. What state are you in?

Alwaystrue2003 said...

Twenty years ago I had an affair with a guy from work.. We were both married and it broke up my marriage and nearly broke up his. He and wife work it out, have another child and are happy. I move on, get married and have a child my own. Five years pass and I get a call at my office from Old Ex telling me that he and wife have split because.. He met someone from work and is madly in love with her and I was right all along about the status of his marriage!!!

I'm now pregnant with child #2 and despite being happy really don't want to hear about how he loves new Work Girlfriend more than me.

A year passes and a Guy Friend tells me that he is moving east to work in the same town as Old Ex...and I ask about his new job and find out that he is going to work for Old Exs company with new Work Girlfriend! I tell Guy Friend about connection to Old Ex and to tell him I said hello. Six months later I get a call from Old Ex, irate at me and letting me know that he was no longer in love... Guy Friend and New Work Girlfriend had a few late nights together and she cheated on Old Ex.

Ha! I will be 100 years old in a nursing home and still laugh at how small and funny the world is!

Henriette said...

I forgot my other good break-up story. It's actually kind of sad because I think this guy has some major social issues.

When I got my first job at a college teaching part-time, I had to shadow another prof. Kind of like the buddy system. Anyhoo, the prof I shadowed was really sweet and seemed to be into me. Always complimenting me, trying to hug me, and just attentive.

He would casually mention going for coffee, but would never follow-up. It was tons of mixed signals. When I would bring up going for coffee, he would say he was leaving town to visit his family.

Well, I got curious about all this "family time." I Googled him and found out he owned a house and spyed on him. He was NEVER with his family! He was fixing his garage or just home alone.

I never brought up going out again, but whenever he saw me he would mention us going out and to "keep in touch."

One time he asked me to edit a book for him. This was all before I knew about his pathological lying, and I agreed to help him. I SLAVED over editing that book on top of my classes.

We talked daily, but he was never too into the book. My smell o-vision was peeking. Finally, I finish the book and mentions he was going to "look for a publisher." WTF?!!!! I spent my weekends just to keep his ass company? I so wanted to kill him.

I didn't do anything to him because I truly believe he has major emotional and social issues that he is in denial about.

Jesse D said...

@Sarah @Tuxedo Cat, @All About Eve and @Agent**It this has been the longest day ever! I'm in Mississippi and I'm going back to Tennessee. My church family from there is really awesome and they've arranged travel for my girls and I this weekend. We're going to be taking part in a program for homeless families, which is awesome. I'm so blessed.
Thanks for the awesome stories, guys, they've been entertaining!

csproat said...

A friend of a friend was pregnant with her 2nd child when her husband comes home and tells her about his second family.

He is having a crisis because his girlfriend, (the mother of his OTHER daughter)wants to leave him and marry another guy.

She, ( friend of friend), wraps her head around this news and decides it would be best if they move across the country to Washington state.

A few months later she realizes things will not be working out so she divorces him, but Washington state is a no fault divorce state, and even though she has custody of their 2 children, she is obliged to pay HIM alimony.

Saja said...

This is my story and even though it's been a few yrs I still get a bit angry about but here it goes , I had been in a relationship with my ex for couple of years and living with my ex when one night we are out to dinner with his family when he told me after dinner he had to leave and see a co worker ( whom I didn't know ) so fast forward few hrs and I get a call at 2 am from ex asking me to pick him up from a local motel as his car has been stolen , so I get there wondering why His at motel and he tells me mate was staying at motel and got drunk and took his car so few hours later police contact him and it turns out car was involved in an accident and the occupant has died so fast forward a week and he attends the funeral alone ( as I didn't know the guy ) and by this time I'm a even more suspicious as to who this co worker was as ex was upset and didn't want to talk about it then few days after funeral he comes home and changing clothes for bed I see a lengthy new tattoo on his arm dedicating his love to the memory of the woman who I suddenly realized died in the car and needless to say I hit the roof and ended it with him not long after and the ex and his family told me I was being insensitive to his grieving and should get over it as he wasn't leaving me for her as she was dead so it was insensitive of me to dump him at that time so go figure

BK in QC said...

It was my sister's first marriage too. I never liked him from "the jump." Mom tried to tell her a big penis doesnt make a good.marriage too lol!

BK in QC said...

He and his whole family can have several seats and they should kiss your whole behind for being morons towards you.

BK in QC said...

These stories are awesome! Some are as good or even better than the reveals. I have to admit I am an apparition in the comments of a lot of these articles but I trully enjoy reading your website daily!

AKM said...

I am really glad to hear that, Jesse D. Keep on moving, and don't look back. Hugs to you and yours today.

cardinalgirl said...

This is True. Believe it or not.

The night before I leave for college, my bf and I plan to meet late at a club to say good bye. We each went to private high schools in different towns. I get there, sit down and notice the chair is warm. So I ask. "Oh, he says, I just met Miss X(Town Beauty Pageant Queen)and guess what? She is going to your school too. No biggie - he's a football player, handsome and friendly.

Flash forward to my first night at school. Its a woman's college and they have a freshman tradition of walking barefoot in a procession thru the campus for initiation. So afterwards I'm in the bathroom washing my feet in the tub. Its a freshman floor so when I hear someone in the tub stall next to me, I say hi, and ask where she is from.

OMG. She is from the same town the Town Princess was that my bf met in the club last night!! I ask,"Hey you aren't Miss X are you?" Dead silence. Then I hear "Who told you?" and I nearly fall off the edge of the tub. We both pop out of the tub stalls face each other. She is gorgeous.

I tell her "We were in the same club last night, and we sat in the same chair of all crazy coincidences. "No," she says, "I was on a date with my bf and I left early to go home and pack." No... I was on a date with MY bf and he told me he met you!

Oh yeah. Its the same guy. We took one long look at each other, cracked up laughing hysterically. Split a bottle of wine and called him up at prep school and blew his doors off. He was stunned - never in a million years ever though we would meet. Much less the very first night. And have rooms on the same floor in the same dorm. No lie.

30 years later we are still best friends.

And him? He died of a heart attack - but not that night.

AKM said...

Holy cow, cardinalgirl, that's definitely one of the Top Five stories we've gotten here! I love that you became besties, heheheheh. Too crazy! :-)

(Are you in STL? cardinalgirl and all.)

DaveForPresident said...

UnFreakinBelievable!!!!

DaveForPresident said...

Also a great one!

doctressjulia said...

Hmm, don't know what a "femme nazi" is... some BS RUSH LIMPDICK made up to demonize feminists? Yep.


My last BF was my last EVER. He blew me off to go drinking with this sociopath guy who had stalked me for years. He knew it and didn't care. I dumped him- this was not the first time he'd done it. He called me a few days later and wanted to "talk it out" (read: have the last word). I fell for it. Went over to his place, where he attacked me physically and called me something horrible with the word "bitch" in it. As he was trying to throw me through a door, I punched him out cold and broke his nose. That B word was the last straw. Years of kickboxing and martial arts training did me good. A big part of that training was breaking down the socialization that women get from childhood that tells them not to fight back. Of course, I am the "crazy" one for fighting back. Guess I should've just cowered in a corner and cried while he hit me. /s

The next woman he dated dumped him for being a cruel Narcissist POS, too. She noted on her FB (as I did when I was with him) that he was literally INCAPABLE of saying "I'm sorry". COULD NOT DO IT. Not without a smirk on his face, anyway.

The one before that cheated on me with my co-worker IN OUR APARTMENT WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. I found the condom wrapper the next day- he tried to hide it but not very well. Yep.

Ah, yes, men calling women "whores". That's what they see us as. Of course, you're only a "whore" if it's not them that gets to stick their dick in you.

Call me a "man-hater" or whatever. I don't hate men- I HATE WHAT THEY DO.

"Not all men are like that"? PROVE IT.

/rant

doctressjulia said...

Oh yeah: IBTP.

doctressjulia said...

Sarah, that is AWESOME! HAAAAHAAH!!!!!

cardinalgirl said...

No, Im actually a Boston gal