Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Jessica Simpson's Days Are Not Like The Rest Of Us


US Weekly has what they purport to be an exclusive about a day in Jessica Simpson's diet/life. They don't say if they really got it from her or just took it from some Weight Watchers board, but there are actual quotation marks. You think about having a four month old and see if this is how your life would be.


She says that she gets up at 7am to feed Maxwell. First of all, I keep thinking it is a boy. This is really confusing and Maxwell is going to get teased forever. Think about what you are naming your children. As I have said many many times, there will be no President Katniss. Anyway, she gets up at 7 like Maxwell is a perfect child and has not awakened at all during the night. Probably the baby woke up all night so she either sent some staff to deal with it or the other person she pays a salary to (Eric) to take care of it. She says she has some kind of half a flatbread sandwich with egg whites. Whatevs. She might hope to have that everyday, but I think she works out way more than she follows her diet. Also, there is no mention of M&M's and she already said she has at least a pack of them everyday without fail.

At 8am, after feeding her daughter and herself, somehow she gets out of the house. All in one hour? Yeah. You can tell she has a ton of help just by that answer. She then says she goes out and walks a bunch outside. Nope. Paps would get photos of her. She might work out inside her house and walk on a treadmill, but she is not going out. Sounds picturesque because she is taking her daughter and her unemployed boyfriend, but not reality.

That supposedly takes us all the way up to 11am when she meets with her trainer, alone. She goes all that way to meet him for just a 45 minute workout? That is what the article says. 45 minutes for four days a week. Normally I would put a crutch word here but someone sent me an article about crutch words so we will just move on. Let me know though when you are willing to drive forever in LA traffic four days a week to meet someone that you are paying a ton of money to for just a 45 minute workout. Eric usually takes her which means someone is home watching the baby.

Every Wednesday she weighs in with her mom and her "pals." When they say pals, they mean all the people from Weight Watchers who are paying her this truckload of money.

At 1pm she has lunch. She doesn't make it of course. Notice when you read the article there is no mention of feeding Maxwell at any other point in the entire day. I guess it is a one time a day thing for her.

Didn't Jessica say she hated fish before? Apparently not in her exclusive US Weekly diet because she has it almost every night with some other vegetables she also said she hated. I think the diet is crap and I would love to know exactly when Jessica sat down for this interview or if it was just sent over by Weight Watchers.

69 comments:

Cathy said...

I'm sure that if she said she hates fish, that would exclude tuna, since, you know, it's really chicken :)

Renoblondee said...

I read that article this morning. The "meals" she listed would put her at about 600 calories a day! I call malarkey too, Ent. Yeah, one piece of fish and a green veggie for dinner. Uh huh.

libby said...

She needs to get some prof portraits made of those temp chichis...good lord!

Seachica said...

Weight Watchers always gets this article published when they announce their new spokesperson. And it is always puppies and rainbows.

Jessica needs to learn never to wear straight neck blouses. It is a terrible shape for a curvy girl.

Maximus said...

Seriously, enough with the "Maxwell will be super teased" crap. Maxwell will be fine. Kids are teased for everything and anything at a young age and, as a girl with a boy's name, I hated it as a child but by the time I could legally change it, I wouldn't have dreamed of doing something so stupid to end up with something generic. Maxwell will be fine and everyone needs to stop giving grief about it.

MISCH said...

Please the nanny gets up and feeds the baby...can you breast feed or pump with implants because thats what's what she has plus the added weight.
Did you see the photo's of her going the dinner with "him" she looked like she put the weight back in 6 hours...how is that ?

Henriette said...

What kid wakes up at 7 am? I was feeding my twins about every two hours their first six months. By the look of her boobs, she is still breastfeeding. Nothing about the leakage either.

shauniebear said...

I wonder if she eats chicken BY the sea? I'd love for these spoiled "celebs" to trade lives for a week with the real women out there who are up (sans nanny) all night with a baby, go to work at a REAL job at least eight hours a day, and come home to fix laundry/cook dinner/clean the house/take care of kids WITHOUT nannies, personal chefs, or maids. And she's struggling to take the baby weight off? Bitch, please.

Amber said...

[Insert crutch word here]?!

This article sounds like total BS. Enty's right, either Weight Watchers made it up, or US Weekly made it up.

nettalovesrobin said...

This whole weight/diet thing is getting boring!

nancer said...

i can't stand her. there's not one real thing about her. why doesn't she take this opportunity to advise pregnant women not to gain 70 lb? that would be a real public service.

Silly Girl said...

@shauniebear, you're so right. Some days I get so tired (only one kid, but have a business, husband, finishing our house ourselves, and a variety of other projects going on all at the same time), but no where in there do I have the time to do all this special workout stuff the celebs to. Then again, I'm not getting paid for people to talk about me. That would be weird, and perhaps a little boring! I'll take the 45 minute workout 4 days a week. I'd look awesome if I had the time to do that!

Patty said...

She is the poster child of over induglence. You are supposed to eat smarter when you are pregnant. Not shovel anything that tastes good into your mouth. Then again, "smart" is not in her vocabulary or ability.

Brenda L said...

Let's hope Maxwell's friends don't start calling her "Maxie"...as in..."pad"

anita_mark said...

She would die in the real world. She is stupid (I'll apologize when she gets diagnosed with a learning disorder) and has absolutly no skills at all, there's no way she could function without a full staff. I imagine she just stares at the wall until engaged to do something.

I just hate how she's given a pass because she's harmless and seems sweet. She's made it "cute" to be a dumb, pretty blond. Whereas ambitious women are villified on this site.

shauniebear said...

@Sillygirl- Amen, sister! I'm so tired by the time I get home from work at night that I could drop sometimes. My dinner last night consisted of a piece my daughter's birthday cake..but yet again I'm not getting paid $4 mil by WW, either! lol

Roman Holiday said...

She should commission someone to make a bust of her bust! Haha I am cracking myself up today......

Amber said...

anita_mark - OOC, who do you consider "ambitious"? JS has been fortunate enough to surround herself with people with enough resources to build her little empire. She's worth A LOT of money.

Amber said...

Roman LOL you are on fire - totally noticed. Oh crap, that was almost punny because of your avatar!

shauniebear said...

I'd bet my last dollar that it happens! Lol!

sweetstarshine1 said...

In that pic she is wearing like 2 pairs of spanks, thats why in the pic of her going out to eat she looks WAY bigger. She took off the spanx so she could BREATHE.
If i had a personal trainer and someone cooking for me, i could definitely lose 20 lbs easy. I just dont have the time or money to afford to eat healthy all the time.

Roman Holiday said...

@ Amber - Touche' my friend Touche'
Have a great day today!

I am happy today and I dont' know why???

Silly Girl said...

As much as I hate to say it, I feel like I get dumber by the minute when I read about JS. I actually spelled it 'dummer' and couldn't figure out why that looked funny.

I need to go to the gym. One more meeting this morning, then off to the gym at lunch time. Or, I'll be back here, saying I didn't have time to go to the gym....we'll see, I guess (reaching for pretzel M&M's). :P

anita_mark said...

@Amber, the people around her are ambitious, she's not. She's not smart enough to be. She's been turned into a brand but she has nothing to do with it. As for ambitious people, Gaga, Madonna, Beyonce, Gwyneth to name a few. They are reviled on this site (and others) and love them or hate them, I think they deserve more respect than something like Jessica Simpson.

Sorry, I have an irrational dislike towards Jessica Simpson. She is no one I would want in my world.

Me said...

well, could be that she has a really easy going baby that sleeps through the night and goes with the flow. i'm kind of surprised that she doesn't seem to be much of a bragger about maxwell. i pegged her for someone that would CONSTANTLY talking about the fabulousity that is her child. like kathie lee use to do.

i don't see her ever making any realy progress in her weight battle. she's small and has little self control with food. i'm betting that when vanessa (nick) has her baby and is instantly slim, that jessica will have some ugly comments. vanessa and nick spend a lot of time on a helathy lifestlye, and she's built differently than jessica. at this point why are we still seeing jessica? isn't really just for the weight watchers deal, right? does she have a show now?

Amber said...

anita - I actually like Gwyneth (and have defended her here before) and Beyonce. I respect Madonna's career and the fact that she's managed to have incredible longevity, but I just cannot stand her as a person. I happen to like GOOP. I travel, shop, and cook quite a bit so I find it relatable. People are always wanting to know what clothes and products celebs use, and she shares her favs with people. I haven't looked in a while, but I know that she used to post an outfit that was her current fav, and then tell you where to get legitimately affordable pieces to achieve the same look.

Lola said...

She looks like she has a corset on.

Misch...I think she's had pretty big boobs since she was a teen (which doesn't necessarily mean no implants). I think the only time she was ever close to moderately sized was when she was so skinny for Dukes of Hazzard.

Lola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lola said...

I too, adore the Goopster.

Solus said...

If she is only getting 600 calories a day I can't imagine she's breastfeeding. Especially as breastfeeding apparently burns up to 500 calories.
If the baby is formula fed its not surprising she sleeps till 7 am. My 4 month old is breastfed and only wakes once so it's not entirely impossible.
Totally agree with shauniebear. Considering she has been paid millions to lose weight - that's her job and she has a crapload of resources to achieve that. I bust my arse off just to find a spare half hour here and there to exercise and between working, keeping the house decent and cooking good food while my baby is sleeping, playibg or being watched by her daddy it is hard to find that time!

Amber said...

Lola, I adore your little mothy guy. I want to snuggle it!

goes in circles said...

Totally agree she can't be breastfeeding if she is limiting her calories that much. not healthy for baby, bf moms should be taking in extra calories.

anita_mark said...

Oh Amber, I hope you don't think my post was at you. I don't think anyone mentioned the "soft spot" for her in this thread.

I try to defend Madonna, mostly because I bristle at the old comments, but she just doesn't defend herself. And I also like Gwyneth and I adore Gaga.

But the truly useless, like Jessica Simpson, set me over the edge. I have to learn to stay away from anything related to her because I'm going to have an aneurysm. I won't even look at her shoes. I don't want a penny of mine to go anywhere near her.

My rage could also be related to not drinking for a week.

Amber said...

anita - absolutely no worries! I didn't think anything of it :) I won't buy her products, either, just because I personally feel cheesy about it. I have owned a pair of her shoes in the past, and honestly they just don't fit my feet well. I'm pretty sure, though, her shoes are actually made by the BCBG people.

anita_mark said...

I was told Vince Camuto but they could all be from the same place.

Amber said...

anita - you are correct! The Camuto Group covers: Vince Camuto, VC Signature, Jessica Simpson, Tory Burch, BCBG Max Azria, BCBGeneration, Lucky, Sanctuary & Arturo Chiang. A message board is saying that Andrew Marc's designers actually design her shoes.

Patty said...

What? Jessica does not design her shoe line? I'm shocked. Simply shocked!

Ari said...

of course none of this is true, but i have to admit that her "fiance" and that baby are just gorgeous

katsm0711 said...

Did everyone call you Gladiator growing up? @maximus

Hendrix said...

I'll say it again - I think she's another one (like, maybe, Kirstie Alley?) whose weight problems are aggravated by drinking. "Just wine," right? The kind of puffiness she had in her face, even back when she was briefly slim, was the kicker for me.

Like y'all, I'm sure Weight Watchers sent in a form letter to US magazine.

Poor girl. At a certain point, hired boyfriend/fiancee will cheat on her and leave her (probably successfully suing her for palimony in the meantime.) Meanwhile, "her people" (meaning her father and all the others making money off her) will keep trotting her out as long as she can bring in the dough.

Just one guy's opinion: personally I adore ambitious women! It's the ones who seem to control every aspect of their lives (kids, relationships, every single move) in service of that ambition that piss me off.

parissucksliterally said...

LIARMOUTH.

She annoys the hell out of me.

Jeff Fatt said...

She says she is endorsing WW because she wants other women to be healthy. Did she care about other women being healthy when she was running around half naked during her Daisy Duke days? She lives and works in Hollywood, she would have had to her $4 million. That's some economic injustice Occupy Wallstreet should protest. And finally, she's being really vague about her starting weight and what she's lost. Not our business but you are shilling for a weight loss company.

Court said...

@nancer...THANK YOU!
why do we not discuss the elephant in the room? she should not have put on that much weight in the first place! just because you're "eating for two" doesn't mean you can eat any and everything you want, all day long!

Robot said...

MAN, there are a bunch of haters on this site. I'd hate to be Jessica Simpson and know people thought I was an idiot and that basically everything I did was wrong.

Jeff Fatt said...

I meant to write "she would have had to lose weight anyway, but now she is being paid $4 million".

smashbash said...

All of your comments have been spot on @Anita_Mark and @amber.

I am really trying hard to just not comment on things that get me in a tissy. :) Jessica is one of them. And the Khloe thread. I will never again comment on anything Kuntrashian.

Hendrix said...

@smashbash - Yes, anything Kardashian is vomit worthy these days. NBC forgoing a moment of silence on 911 to listen to Kris Jenner blather on about her boob job clinched it for me.

Shame on you, NBC!

sylmarillion said...

The article is probably bogus. The advantage of WW is that you can still eat (some of) your favourite foods, as long as you've planned them in, or changed the recipe a bit so they aren't as rich in fat and/or carbs. They basically encourage you to make healthier choices.

Her meal plan as Michael K has it is not enough points (about 25). I'm in the 'healthy' weight range, and get 26 points (plus weekly extra 49). She isn't yet, I think, so she'd get at least a few more. Plus, she's breastfeeding.

When you're breastfeeding and lose too much weight too fast, all the garbage that your body has stored with the fat (toxins) get released into your bloodstream, and from there into the milk. That's why you're not usually encouraged to lose too much too fast.

Ruby Red said...

You know, I'm happy that she still has baby weight. I'm sick of all these celebrities acting like you drop all that weight as soon as the baby pops out.

auntliddy said...

I've always enjoyed birthday cake for breakfast, but the dinner thing sounds good too!

January Girl said...

She said in another interview with USA Today that she was no longer breastfeeding ... you know she couldn't wait to get back on the booze! (Not that I blame her)

Heck, if her unemployed sister can have two nannies (she was the answer to that blind, right?) then Jess must have at least double that for sure.

auntliddy said...

Liarmouth. I like it!

Mango said...

Maybe I'm delusional but I can't see how she can fail to lose weight with all the resources that come with a half-billion dollar fortune. She needs to have her housekeeper shop and buy only foods approved by a dietician, have no snack foods and alcohol in the house and hire a chef that can make low carb/low fat foods taste delicious. If she's not doing that already then she's just as dumb as we all thought she was.

And Jessica, you ding-bat, have the trainer come to YOUR house. I'm sure you have the shekels to cover that.

Silly Girl said...

Amen, Mango!

jennifer hansen said...

ummm maxwell isn't going to get teased as much as apple or pilot inspektor!!

NYer said...

I guess I'm more offended by the people selling this fantasy about weight for a buck. She is just making a dollar; it is the people who package her into a very misleading narrative so they can sell products that I think are the problem.

happygrl said...

I am so sick of all the hate for her! Sure, she gained weight during her pregnancy. I did too. Her and I have similar body types and I gained 70 plus pounds...I practically lived off of apples and peanut butter. If she develops an eating disorder, I am sure everyone will harp on her for that too.

Sherry said...

Yeah I grow weary of the "struggles" these rich celebs have but then it's a gossip site and I continue to watch and comment. What I don't care about is whether one person likes or dislikes her or any other celeb. Your opinion. If it were someone I KNEW personally I might get a little upset. In other words whilst I might not agree with your snarky remarks I enjoy the hell outta reading them. Ya'll's funny.

goes in circles said...

First World Problems, ya'll

Roxxx said...

Well as usual I'm about 6 hours behind the conversation but feel compelled to put my 2 cents worth in anyway:

I don't mind Jessica Simpson, I can understand why she might annoy some, but she doesn't strike me as being vile. And if nothing else, I kind of like her for not letting Nicole Ritchie bully/intimidate her when they were doing that fashion programme together. I think there was a blind about that, right?

Yep, I like Gwyneth too. She struck me as being such a snobbish, pretentious cow, so I was quite shocked to hear from 1st hand accounts that she's incredibly down to earth in person and quite kind too.

Goop is a guilty pleasure. I think the site is beautifully designed and really well put together.....

And as usual, Sherry has said it so nicely (seriously hon, if you're not a diplomat, you've missed your calling); I think I enjoy reading people's comments more than the posts themselves. I think it's the readers who help make this site one worth visiting.

goes in circles said...

hppygrl
I know I will!

goes in circles said...

First World Problems, ya'll

Silly Girl said...

Some things I don't question until later, and then I forget, but why do they call her Goop? I don't get that...

therealjadedentrepreneur said...

My son slept all through the night starting at 5 weeks. Don't snark on shit you obviously know nothing about.

Lola said...

Amber, he's a poodle moth and only about an inch or so big. I think he looks like a fluffy little superhero.

Marie said...

If I had her cash I'd have people making my food and waking in the night to deal with the baby too - and I'll bet you would too!

Regardless of how the money was made (ie. her or someone else's planning etc) its there and she can sped it as she pleases.

I don't think the plan provided was from weight watchers - even in their magazines they have more interesting plans than that. Sounds like the typical magazine version of a celeb diet to me. Apparently they ALL eat egg whites for breakfast and fish for dinner!

Henriette said...

@therealjadedentrepreneur
Then you were incredibly lucky! That is not the norm.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

She just got so fat.. Oh my god SO FAT

curlyhairslacker said...

Liar mouth (damn auto correct) is my new favorite word! :)