Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Channing Tatum Is Finally Names The Sexiest Man Alive

For two weeks, Channing Tatum has been the Sexiest Man Alive-Elect, but had not been officially named because of a recount in the Accounting department at Kneepads. Apparently there were some issues with some people voting twice and some sticky ballots that were stuck together. All of it has been resolved, and with no natural disasters kicking Channing off the cover this week, he can finally be officially appointed Sexiest Man Alive. As part of the wonders of being given such a title, we learn that Channing is also a huge fan of Edgar Allen Poe; wants to have 3 kids starting now; gives his wife Jenna daily massages; is emotionally  deep; spiritually open; hangs out in the woods looking for people to save from bears and lions; once lifted four cars off of someone who was dying; takes classes simultaneously from Harvard and Yale; gets calls from the Pope and Oprah about how to solve world problems; and waxes himself hourly.

69 comments:

EmEyeKay said...

Let's overthrow, and name Norman Reedus instead!

curlyhairslacker said...

Yes Em! I second that notion!

FSP said...

What a Chach.

Lola said...

I mean...he's fine...I guess....

dee123 said...

That's some serious photoshopping with his face. Cleaned him up well & truly.

Christopher Cruz said...

Pffft!!! I nominate Kyle Bornhiemer. And Josh Stamberg. Just because!!!

Cathy said...

This cover would be way hotter if they had the "People" title OVER his face.

greenmountaingal said...

From the neck down, yes please. But I would like for Clive Owen to know that, to me, he is the sexiest man alive. Clive, now that I've said that, I'm available on Saturday for some, um, fun....;)

seaward said...

Did anyone watch Don't Trust The B in Apt 23 last night?

Channing Tatum is gross, his neck is too thick & he is just...ew.

Sarah said...

He's kind of a "butterface" but it still works better than B Coop.

surfer said...

Seriously, he had to wear a wife-beater on the cover? Way to take it down a notch, People.

Stacey Charter said...

Enty - you forgot "likes long walks on the beach" I'd even bet he's not into yoga, has half a brain, likes making love at midnight on the dunes of the cape...

Jeneral said...

His expression in that pic is hilarious.

MBk said...

Meh. He does nothing for me.

LottaColada said...

I knew it was going to be him because he had a huge year. I'm still waiting for the day it will be Ryan Gosling.

Ashlea said...

Not a fan of his.

Amber said...

He has a lot of sun damage on his shoulders. I hope he keeps an eye on that.

me said...

ICK!!! Would never ever ever ever

Me said...

i saw a picture of him, YEARS ago, fishing, knee deep in the water, wearing nothing but boots. was so silly it made me laugh, and i think of that every time i see him.

(and DO find him sexy).

FSP said...

LOL@Amber

Renoblondee said...

Well goodness, haters gonna hate. He's hot!
@seaward I love Don't Trust the B! It was hilarious last night!

Cathy said...

Can we come up with a term for the male-equivalent of a butter face? Buttahs face, maybe? Any suggestions?

LottaColada said...

He's not THAT bad guys! He won me over in "The Vow." I know so cheesy but I love Rachel McAdams. He's gorgeous, just not my first choice in sexiest man alive.

MadLyb said...

Snicker @Cathy. He has a nice bod, but his face doesn't really stand out in a crowd and his acting is 'blah'. I wouldn't say he was the 'Sexiest Man Alive' by any means.

Renoblondee said...

@seaward Wait, I watched it from my DVR, it was older, oops! Too early. zzzzzzzzzzzz

dia papaya said...

Am I the only one who has some Channing love?

I think he's awesome! Here's a guy with a big heart, who loves his wife, generous to those he works with... He's a good egg!

Congrats Channing! You deserve it after years of hard work!!! I want to see more sexy abs ;)

Feisty said...

For some reason I'm really surprised he doesn't have a tribal tattoo on his upper arm.

Other than that, eh, I do find him attractive-ish. Still waiting for Colin Ferrell to get the award (if he already has, oops).

Dagny said...

Nicely done, @Stacey. I wondered at what point Enty started making shit up, it was decently believable at first.

Tatum doesn't do a damn thing for me. I'm sure he's a peach of a person, he's just too pretty-boy for me. I like my men to have more character in the face.

Ms Cool said...

I guess Daniel Craig will never get the cover. I, too, am hot for Channing Tatum but I can't explain it. I like Norman Reedus as well - especially after he fawned over the baby.

strawberrygirl said...

He's always had that DOH look to him.

dia papaya said...

Ms Cool - YES! That scene when he gave the baby the bottle. OMG! That was hawt! I want Norman Reedus next year! Two super models can't be wrong!!!

rejectedcarebear said...

LMAO @ Amber. I noticed that too..those are some dark freckles!

I think he is sexy, but i do not find him the sexiest man alive. That would be Ewan McGregor IMO.

Twitter is all abuzz about how the Gosling was denied again. Gosling looks like my brother so I don't find him attractive at all.

dia papaya said...

Carebear - I keep waiting for you to say that he was so good in 21 Jump Street! Which I should probably get around to warch soon...

Jules_345 said...

+1 for Norman Reedus...listened to him on Sirius this morning, every time I hear him my love grows.

Channing Tatum is ok...def better than Bradley Cooper

bonnjill said...

I was not a fan of Tatum until I saw Magic Mike. Now I get the appea. I think at some point I lost my ability to speak while he was dancing. Agree about him being a butterface. And he's certainly not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, so I am highly doubting the claim about Harvard and Yale. That claim alone made me laugh out loud!

AKM said...

Bland bland BLAND. I admit that I sometimes have odd taste in men,though.

disenchanted said...

He has kind of duuuuh face, but he was very charming in Magic Mike and the boy can sure dance.

Barton Fink said...

He is absolutely the sexiest man alive, hands down. I know there are dissenters, but he has a (mouthbreathing) face that has launched a handful of flicks. And he's funny, and he's charming, if you like big dumb goofy guys. GI JOE will be the test for him: Can he deliver in 2013?

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Didn't I read somewhere (like, here) that Gosling had been offered SMA at least once and turned it down? It hadn't occurred to me that the potential recipient of the title had to actually accept it, but considering its PR purpose, it makes sense. (Who actually votes on a potential candidate? Or is the "voting" a smokescreen for "picked out on PR grounds by People editors?)

Lizzeh said...

That's because it was a joke.

warmislandsun said...

Big dumb derp face goofy is not my taste, but neither is People magazine.

Agent**It said...

Andy Bravo and Andy Silver Fox really, really liked him :)

SusanB said...

I'll say it - I thought he was funny in 21 Jump Street. It was better than I expected. We had several laugh-out-loud moments (which is all I ask for in a comedy).

Jolene Jolene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jolene Jolene said...

I think Channing Tatum was HOT when he was a young, thinner model before he was such a meat head. I'll take that guy. Yum.

See here

And here

Groovy said...

He's about as emotionally deep as a hairy butthole.

AngusParvo said...

"Channing Is Finally Names The Sexiest Man Alive?"

I have enjoyed this blog, but this is the second time recently Enty (or whoever the obviously non-English speaking person is making the posts) has made a horrible error in the headline and just let it hang out there uncorrected.

Between this and the fact there's something so screwed-up about the site's ads that it crashes browsers like Lindsay crashes Porsches, I'm just over it for awhile.

Agent**It said...

Angus, try accessing it this way: http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/?m=1

dragon said...

Sexy is subjective but he ain't ugly as some of u people make seem.

He had a good year and he's super nice and humble and awesome personality. I'll take that over looks plus the dancing helps. Have you seen him dance to pony. His wife is lucky lady.

Ms Cool said...

This link has the fishing (hunting?) picture that was referenced above. Definitely NSFW:

Scantily clothed Channing.

Ms Cool said...

Here is another link for the Norman Reedus admirers (NSFW):

Norman topless.

feraltart said...

Congratulations Channing. Here we have a man who is hard working, appreciative of his success, doesn't complain about his promotional duties, loves his wife & lets her & us know (rather than hiding her away). I have enjoyed every movie I have seen him in. I like when nice guys finish first. We talk about role models, well this man is one. I would much rather males model themselves on him than a lot of other well known guys, and this is the type of man, talking his nature not his looks as that is subjective, that I hope young girls and women want to be with. We constantly complain about the scum rising to the surface, how about we celebrate a good guy.

Jules_345 said...

Lol @ms cool...the nr link prompted my work firewall password (I use the wireless so my data doesn't go over the limit). Guess I will be checking that one out on lunch...

HalleGoLightly said...

He doesn't seem too douchey. Not Sexiest Man Alive though. Not by a mile. He's just hot right now. Hopefully that'll fade a bit. I'd rather see someone with real talent and sex appeal shine.

thatfunnygirl said...

He's hot. DAMN he is hot. Mommy likey.

Lizz said...

His face is just too much of a mess for me. Not to mention, my best friend had sex wit him. And my best friend is a guy. He may love his wife but he loves him some peen too.

Kiki K said...

He is gorgeous. I love him. But that. Photo is awful. Come on, it's way too cheesy!

Jazzy said...

The only thing Channing's got is an incredible ass. Matter of fact, his ass is 98% of his talent. I guess Soderbergh and Clooney being obsessed with you makes you a legitimate player in Hollywood. Don't get me wrong, he seems nice, but to me "sexy" means smart too.

Daniel Craig, Fassbender, Gosling (who should've won it the last 2 years), Armie Hammer, Colin Ferrell, Matt Bomer, (or is People mag against openly gay for sexiest man?), and Taye Diggs are all way sexier than this guy.

dia papaya said...

Lizz - we need deets! Dish it!!!

chopchop said...

OMG that Walking Dead scene with Norman Reedus & the baby! *swoon*

Channing Tatum has a very nice bod, I'll give him that.

skimpymist said...

I've thought channing was hot after I had an erotic dream about him. How fine is he. If I ever met him in person I would totally become a tweener and go insane.

Lola said...

Eh, Gosling is...fine...I guess, too.

Thor. Thor is sexy.

Lizz said...

dia papaya:

It was before he was really famous and definitely before he was married. I specifically asked my friend if Tatum was a catcher or a receiver and was informed that he was both.

I also asked him if he thought Tatum was gay and bearding with the wife or bi and he said he wasn't totally sure but leaned toward him being gay.

I trust my best friend completely on this. So there you go. We're both from LA by the way, which is where this happened.

dia papaya said...

Thanks Lizz! WAHHH! This gives me the sads, but it totally makes sense. Well at least he's sharing the jewels both ways. Lots of love all around ;)

lostathome said...

DAT ASS

dragon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dragon said...

@liz.We all know Channing Tatum is Bisexual. he confirmed it himself in interview along time. He's wife knows and is very supportive. my friend workers for his social media manager and she tells me a lot shit. nothing mean though lol

misspeg86 said...

I don't think that cover is appropriate. I think he should have definitely had his shirt off and front on please Kneepads thank you very much :)

mybrothehero said...

Am I the only one that thinks that wiener shots should be left to the imagination? I am ALL about derrières, but I just... I dunno... maybe a little wrapping paper to peel off slowly? I guess I'd prefer he intrigue. I'm not sexist either, I think that women look the best with a little bit of clothing on. Or maybe I just like to get teased.