Monday, December 31, 2012

Lindsay Lohan Wants You To Know She Is Alive

No one really cares about Lindsay Lohan unless she is being arrested or doing something truly awful. Because she has gone a couple of weeks without either, she would like people to know she is still alive and having sex with whatever member of The Wanted will have her and is in London meeting some rich men and is going to be good and wonderful tonight and going to stay in. No clubs for her. Yes, this is the same thing she has said a million times. I guess she thinks that we have not caught on yet to things like room service or going to a liquor store and bringing it back to your hotel. Soo, when she says she is staying in she wants us to think that means she is being good. Some of her best crimes have been when she has stayed in. Everyone passes out before the woman with the tolerance of an elephant and she picks through the choicest things. You wake up and wonder what happened and catch a faint whiff of menthol cigarettes and a stained ginger hair covered in spray tan attached to your arm.

27 comments:

rejectedcarebear said...

As a menthol smoker, I am offended. LL clearly smokes Parliament Lights which is odd cause its one of the most expensive brands in my state. Wait, what am I thinking, she doesn't pay for cigarettes!

Christopher Cruz said...

Go. Away. Firecrotch.

phoenix said...

I think you called it Enty. Someone who passes out drunk tonight is going to wake up poorer tomorrow because Lindsay was there. She always has a plan.

auntliddy said...

Pssst! Lindsay! No one cares anymore! Bye!

surfer said...

Tolerance of an elephant. That was funny - thanks.

SusanB said...

If she's this desperate, she'll be getting pregnant soon. After KimK, she'll see it as the best way to get attention.

Amber said...

@surfer - LOL I laughed at that as well.

@Susan - Oh my. That baby would come out pickled :(

FSP said...

@Susan - please don't go there.

surfer said...

SusanB - bite your tongue. The one thing you can say about KK is that she doesn't drink or do drugs.

There's no way in hell LL could/would go nine months without anything. Can you imagine how addicted her baby would be if that actually happened?

Ari said...

I'll say it once and I'll say it again...DIE ALREADY!

Sarah said...

She's rumoured to be going into Celebrity Big Brother in the UK which starts this week.

canadachick said...

how can she leave with all the charges against her??? Run Crackie Run

penelope said...

I'm waiting for her to announce she is pregnant a la Peaches.

Me said...

This makes twice that I've heard something about her and thought, "oh yeah, her". She's fading!!! Put her on the list with Tara Reid and the hilton's.

hotchacha said...

Just one time! Please! Let me swipe that orangeness with a baby wipe.

Its just U said...

I stopped watching Big Brother UK a few years ago but I will start again if La Lohan goes in.
I will watch the hell outta that!!!

Basil said...

Is she really going into Celeb BB? Man oh man, that is going to be good. I believe she was offered it a few times over the years but turned it down. She must be really taking this IRS tax thing seriously to be doing this. I hope Boy George goes in too then. Should be fun.

Tuxedo Cat said...

Is that her latest trick that she's walking beside? Or just another lawyer? Or maybe he's both :o

Alicia said...

Lindsay is such a hustler .. It runs in the family .. Minus the addiction she wouldve killed it in Hollywood. Bitch has game.

Ima Guillotine said...

Choicest things. LOL...I picture LL as Gollum, crawling all over people as they sleep, looking for Prrrreeeecious!

Mango said...

I wonder how many rats had to die to make that coat?

yodelay said...

I don't know if its just the way the pic looks on my phone, but that is one hell of a coke nose!

Mayor of CDAN timebob said...

I wonder what nightclub she stole that coat from. And fuck her for wearing fur, selfish asshole.

January 25 can't come fast enough and hopefully will send her to jail for a few weeks for violating probation again.

iheartjacksparrow said...

The Daily Mail has newer photos of her and she looks terrible in those, and fat.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

^No Kidding jacksparrow. At first I thought the photos were of Wynonna Judd.

warmislandsun said...

@Ima

I have always noticed her resemblance to Gollum as well. Nice to know I am not alone in that!

I just hate insulting Andy Serkis like that - no offense intended, mate!

Steppy said...

Best of luck to Lohan in the new year!