Sunday, February 10, 2013

Justin Bieber Apologizes For Smoking Pot - Kind Of

Last night on SNL, Justin Bieber apologized for smoking pot. Kind of. I understand if you missed it because last night was painful to watch. Any skit that had Bieber in it live was awful. In one of his skits, he appeared on the Miley Cyrus show but as another character who apologized for Justin Bieber and said that Justin will never smoke pot again. Uh huh. Just like that going to give it up. What this does is give him an out if he is busted again because he can say he never apologized, it was just a sketch on SNL.

35 comments:

Christopher Cruz said...

SNL, you have a LOT to answer for. Bieber? Really? FML

B. Profane said...

It was an awful, awful episode of SNL. He actually wasn't that bad in the Miley Cyrus Show sketch, but otherwise it was a suckfest. Plus the silly little dwarf was clearly wearing lifts through the first half of the show, plus he insisted on wearing those stupid-ass slouch-crotch pants way too much...including in a sketch in which he was not playing himself.

auntliddy said...

I figured he would blow. didnt watch.

pretzel logic said...

Painful. Just painful. Enty, thank you for posting the occasional SNL skit on your site. It helps to remind me why I haven't watched that shitshow in years.

crh in stl said...

Those pants! What a little dweeb. And hand to god SNL, if you do Californians ONE MORE time, I'm going to change the channel and never turn you back on.

timebob said...

Scooter stacked the audience with fans, the whole show was just a train wreck, and not in a fun Lindsay Lohan kind of way.

It was just awful, the 'apology' came close to funny, but mostly it was just cringe worthy.

And why did he have to sing in every skit, his name might be Justin, but it isn't Justin Timberlake. His voice is average and he is average.

After how funny last week was I wasn't expecting much, but shame on SNL writer for being so lazy this week, shame.on.them.

Meanie Reese said...

I'm still not sure which one is JB?

B. Profane said...

Except for Jason's "Neither are you, homie" line from the decoys sketch, that show was utterly devoid of humor. Bieber is an idiot little douche, but they didn't give him any material to play either.

Rickatoo said...

I haven't been a fan on SNL for many years, but I occasionally DVR to catch Weekend Update the next day. I'm finding that, although he sux, JB was totally ok with being in on the joke and I kind of respect him for that. Not for anything else, just that.

Lizzie du said...

I havent watch SNL since i was a kid n we couldent afford cable. Its nice to know is still as bad as i remembered. I didnt think the beaver was that bad, maybe bcs he was not playing himself.

S.joy said...

Can we add him to the list of celebs we don't talk or post about for a month?? Or maybe two?

Beiber-Free March!

Kraymond19 said...

Ha! My husband thought Biebs was wearing a dress!!!

Moosefan said...

Justin, take you money, take a couple years off. Go to college, live in the dorm, experience life, get a back up for when your voice changes and then come back as a producer or something else. If they are your fans now, they will be later. You are not edgy when you are shown lighting up. You look foolish.

timebob said...

I second @S.joy on that one

smash said...

I haven't watched since Jimmy Fallon Left. Will Farrell was one of my all time favorites, his best of makes me laugh everytime. The hot tub scene with Drew Barrymore, Jimmy, Will and another lady I forget her name. But that was one of the best sketches ever.

timebob said...

@smash that was Rachel Dratch, those were some funny sketches and no one could do Dubya like he could.

smash said...

Rachel Dratch!!! Thank you! Her face and voice were in my head but not her name. Chris Kattan and Manjo were also some good sketches. I used to love snl. :(

KellyLynn said...

Top 5 reasons The Biebs wears slouch-crctch pants.

1. He's ashamed of his lack of a bulge, so he blames it on the slouch.
2. Extra room allows him to have longer pockets with more room to hide a bomg.
3. He still wears diapers? Baby clothes usually have that extra crotch room, too.
4. He loves the whole "standing at a urinal" look. It plays into a sex fantasy of his.
5. He is hoping that the extra room will make his penis get bigger. He's still a growing boy, ya know.

Other than that, I agree with moosefan. Biebs needs to take some time off and be a real boy for a while. It's not like he needs the money.

ethorne said...

I couldn't even get past 30 seconds of that crapfest. Don't apologize Baby B, own that shit.

All about Eve said...

Glad I didn't watch! With SNL it's hit or miss now but I knew for sure this was going to be a big fail.

B. Profane said...

Bieber's utter lack of manhood was exposed in the part of the sketch where he was playing opposite Taran and the latter was wearing the sleeveless t-shirt. Taran is just, physically, an average guy in his 30's and does not appear to work out much, but working that close together in a scene it was so obvious that Taran is a man and Bieber is still a little boy.

The stature thing isn't really the issue. I played with three guys Bieber's height. Two of them were among the toughest hooks I ever knew, and the third was a legend on the pitch--he floored me in the open field more than once, and I'm a big guy--and off the pitch (as a cocksman). They were men; Bieber is a little boy.

He can pose and feast upon the fawning cooz all he likes, but at some point he needs to grow a pair for real.

ABlake said...

That's a really good idea Moosefan. If he just kind of dropped off the radar for a couple of years while he's still hot, he can come back and make a name (and tons of $$$) producing. He should take a lesson from Usher on that point.
Brilliant.

As far as SNL goes, not a fan and won't watch it. It jumped the shark 20 years ago imo.

jennifer hansen said...

ugh i didn't even bother watching last night, i hate that kid

B. Profane said...

(Anyone dismissively sneering at present-day SNL is missing out. The show debuted very strong this season and the younger half of the cast is quite good. Bieber's and Levine's shows were hopeless disasters but all the previous episodes this season had enough funny to make tuning in worthwhile.)

Mango said...

I watch SNL and usually find it funny but last night was awful. Bieber is not funny and not a natural comedian along the lines of, say, Justin Timberlake. And I get the impression that he isn't very bright; the kid is as dumb as a bag of rocks.

Mango said...

...and I'm a big guy--and off the pitch (as a cocksman).

@ B. Profane - Seriously?? Aren't you even just a *little* embarrassed by that post?

Unfuckingbelievable.

Del Riser said...

Just the opening with Justin *trying* to be all sexy with the girls in the audience was almost laughable.
As Moosefan said, Bieber should just quietly go to college, learn something worthwhile, be around non-fawning groupies for awhile. When he gets to be early twenties and has his man body if he still has a voice he could try it again as a grown up.
I also detest The Californians.

ABlake said...

Sorry B., then again I'm not a fan of Ferrell or Sandler. I prefer the Chevy Chase (and hell, even Dennis Miller) days. I guess it's just a matter of personal taste and it hasn't matched mine in years.

I guess I'm a hard room:) Give me Sienfeld any day.

JSierra said...

Honestly, the kid shouldn't have to apologize for smoking pot. Apologize for letting down your fans, not for doing something you enjoy.

The only part I liked was when they chose Ellen as the winner of the clone contest. He looked so feminine last night, it was slightly disturbing. Mostly because he makes a pretty good looking lady.

Jazzy said...

I love the girl who does Miley. She's really good.

B. Profane said...

"@ B. Profane - Seriously?? Aren't you even just a *little* embarrassed by that post?"

You misconstrued, although the construction of the sentence didn't help. I wasn't saying that I was a legendary cocksman, but that a guy of short stature that I knew back in the day was such. And...he was. As in, I played for various sides and in tourneys, and there were always stories going around about this guy.

PookieTwo said...

The debut show w/Seth McFarlane was outright hilarious, but it's just gone downhill from there unfortunately IMO. Like others here I'm more fond of past glories.

I like The Californians. Don't ask me why. Its so outrageously dumb it becomes funny to me I guess.

B Prof I too was confused by your sentence there but got it after re-reading. You were using the hyphens correctly. If you're reading too fast (as I do) it played differently. What sport were you referring to btw? "on the pitch" "toughest hook"-? I though English football perhaps (soccer) but wasn't certain.

B. Profane said...

I would never refer to myself as a "legendary cocksman"!

SNL is having a really weird season. They started off trying to do old-school SNL sketches, and had some amazing successes. Then the wheels came off with the writing, and apparently the problems with the writing staff are unfixable. But there's just tremendous talent among the newer cast and it's worth watching the show just to see what they manage to get on the air.

Next season will be better. Meyers will leave and probably a lot of the dead wood among the writers will go with him.

Mango said...

Sorry that I misunderstood, but surely "legendary cocksman" is superfluous to the conversation?

I agree that the cast is amazingly talented. Even players that we only catch a glimpse of, like Aidy Bryant and Tim Robinson turn in favorable performances that make me want to see more. It's just a shame that the writing is so uneven. Some sketches fall flat and then there are flashes of brilliance (like the Sopranos sketch). They seem to do their best when they are doing parodies (again, the Sopranos or Homeland.)

B. Profane said...

"Sorry that I misunderstood, but surely "legendary cocksman" is superfluous to the conversation?"

Well, no. The point I was trying to make is that you don't need all that posing douchery. Just be a man, regardless of your height. The gentleman to whom I was referring was not only Bieber-short, he was ugly as sin. But he was a cooz-hound of wide repute. Nice guy, too...off the pitch. I always liked playing with him rather than against him in a match, though.

But Bieber, he took his chance to host SNL and turned it into a showcase for his infantilized sexuality. It's not cute, it's sick and stupid. And SNL went along with it, sadly.