Sunday, February 10, 2013

Michael Lohan Writing A Tell All Book

After all the stories Michael Lohan has sold to the tabloids over the years, I am surprised he has any stories left to tell to write a book. Of course if Michael is going to write a book he is going to write it about Lindsay Lohan and Dina because there is nothing like making a buck off your family. If he had some dirt about the rest of his kids he would probably include that too. To make it seem like he is doing the world a favor and not just trashing his kid for profit, Michael will also tell the world why he is the perfect role model. How he turned from prison convict to sober minister and successful business person. Umm, what success has he had as a business person? And how come he won't be talking about all of his kids with three different baby mothers. Oh, and his multiple arrests for beating women. Yeah, he would just like to forget about all that.

34 comments:

smash said...

For some reason I saw this photo and thought "prositution wwwwhhhore!" He is gross.

KPeony said...

Is he going to give us fashion advice about mesh shirts?

J Sara said...

Oh my god - that shirt! I have no idea what the post said because I was laughing too hard at the picture and smash's comment

smash said...

Teresa Guidice gave one good thing! One! And it was that comment. :)

Meanie Reese said...

lmao @ the douchenozzle wearing his *signature* shirt. It kinda warms my heart to know he's oblivious to the world laughing at his fashion choices. Does he wear anything else?

Christopher Cruz said...

How about a Lohan-free March?!

LottaColada said...

Again... How did he convince these 3 different women to have his babies?

Meanie Reese said...

@Christopher Cruz. I could live with that! Throw in Chris Brown, too!!

Agent**It said...

I bet we readers could write a Lohan novella that would be more interesting than his drivel.

IMakeNoSense said...

Lohan free 2013

Lola said...

Even having read everything enty just wrote...and knowing it to be true...he's still the better parent.

I'm surprised that, in combination with the mesh shirt, he didn't stuff his pants for that picture.

timebob said...

Lohans are my guilty pleasure so Mayor Timebob vetoes that request!

All that is missing from that picture is the fannypack.

He is a lunatic, he will always be a lunatic and he is just looking for some publisher to front him some money and will never right it. He is a hustler just like his little con artist daughter.

KPeony said...

@Lotta

The mesh shirt. How could any woman resist?

Meanie Reese said...

He wears a fanny pack, too?! Omg, precious! =))

Seachica said...

So they will file his book in the fiction section, right?

Merlin D. Bear said...

My eyes! My eyes!
That damn mesh shirt photo!
(running for brain bleach)

Seachica said...

Everytime I see that photo, I imagine the short isn't mesh, but a painted tshirt, sort of like a tuxedo shirt. It's the only way my mind can cope

Sherry said...

Come on you guys. We can eliminate all the train wrecks. Who will we laugh at?

No doubt his book will be a true literary gem. If he were honest it might be worth reading. Sadly the truth and Lohan do not go hand in hand.

Lizzie du said...

Yah we could call it " All My Blohands" . lol

prolixe said...

What a disgusting person. He's calling himself a minister? He's going to start his own church, just watch. He'll call it the Church of Lohanology and will offer courses in theft, battery, and general douchery.

Polly in the Pocket said...

Loooong time reader, first time poster. Just had to check in after looking at that photo to say:

"EEEWWWWWHHHOOHHOOHOOOOOOOOOO!"

If he writes a book I will refuse to buy it because I am totally above that. But I will absolutely read every excerpt that is posted here and get all eyerolly about how crazy and gross this family is. And then I will call my dad and tell him how much I appreciate that he has never tried to make any money off all my drugging and whoring. Family comes first, yo.

Tuxedo Cat said...

BAHAHAHAHA!!!! I just can't see anyone buying anything written by Michael Lohan. Not even if it was 99 cents.

Cee Kay said...

Dude is a grade-A, world-class douchaholic. And yet, somehow, I still prefer him to Dina.

auntliddy said...

What an ego on this guy, thinking he has anything of interest to say!! Perhaps he and Dina can release their books together, between mothers day and fathers day. Makes perfect gift- for bonfires!!

auntliddy said...

They are equally disgusting, its just that dinas tentacles are much deeper into lindsay than michaelmesh. If he had, he'd be whoring her out to- for bogus psa's against drugs and testifying in church of the meshones sbout how he helped her. Timebob giot it right; the are all hustlers. And where the f* ck is allie????? God knows what shes going thru!!

Vera L- said...

Agent - I'm game for cowriting that novella!

They will need a new section of the bookstore, so Lohan's book can be with OJ's "search for the real killer" book and I'm sure you wise readers can contribute others to the genre...

auntliddy said...

I would add Chris Brown's," What I learned from Community Service."

didi67 said...

God he is so nasty.

Onyx Loathes Hydrangeas said...

Lmao @kpeony I hope so, I really hope so.

ethorne said...

He can call it "Behind the Mooseknuckle: The Michael Lohan Story"

Christopher Cruz said...

We need to compile a list!

audrey said...

He can write all the books he wants. That doesn't mean I have to buy them, or read them. I wouldn't even take it out of the library to read in private cause I sure wouldn't want anyone to think I was dumber than dirt for doing so.

Sunny said...

If Michael needs cash, he should just design his own line of cell phone belts holsters. Invest in a glue gun and lots of mesh, Michael

Silkprint said...

You just KNOW he tried to sell the pictures of that poor new little baby ..I am sure he was hoping for a girl . I hate his big fat mouth ..any dude that kicks girls is a total pc of shit in my book .