Monday, January 06, 2014

The Goopster Wants To Lose 10 Or 15 Pounds

Look at the photo above. This was taken in the past few days of Gwyneth Paltrow. I don't see a woman in that photo who needs to lose weight. She apparently thinks otherwise because she is starting her cleanse with the goal of losing 10-15 pounds of what she calls holiday excess. What excess? If she loses 10-15 pounds she will be a skeleton. You could just throw a brown wig on her and have her start singing songs in Spanish and call her Marc Anthony. Can you imagine the body issues this woman has where she thinks she has weight to lose? What about her daughter? Do you think she makes Apple do these cleanses? Is something like this a form of child abuse? If you are constantly sending your child these images and ideas that can potentially lead to death how is it any worse than constantly smoking in front of your child or speeding on a motorcycle in front of packed school buses. Oh, wait she already does that. I would love a reporter to ask Gwyneth whether Apple has ever done a cleanse.

59 comments:

Stepforded said...

Look at that pot belly on her, though! (Joking - it's only slightly bulging).

Never mind her weight; she needs to do something with that straw-coloured hair - it's vile!

mynerva said...

Her ego must weigh at least that much. Maybe she could lose that?

sandybrook said...

Im more surprised she actually defiled her body with a teeny weeny tat (on her right pelvis)

Nutty_Flavor said...

@Stepforded, agree about the hair. I can't understand why celebrities with infinite resources don't invest in a proper dye job. Kate Hudson, I'm looking at you. Also Paul McCartney, the billionaire with a $4.99 box of Miss Clairol.

Susan said...

I don't understand how a person functions while cleansing.

I also don't get the whole juicing craze. If I want to eat some kale, I'll just eat the damn kale.

I understand her thoughts on feeling like a fat ass after the holidays, even if you are not a fat ass. All the boozing and cheese and crackers and heavy food can just make you feel not right. Don't people who cleanse claim it reinvigorates them, so maybe that's the benefit for her?

Renoblondee said...

I read her tat is a c and Chris has a tiny g.

__-__=__ said...

Answer to the smoking blind! Who wouldn't say they wanted to loose 10-15 pounds. I found old clothes in the closet from way back and remember thinking then I needed to loose weight. Crazy!

sandybrook said...

@Reno You can barely see it in the pic it's right next to the metal loop of her bikini barely showing

penelope jane said...

Juicer here. I try to eat as healthy as I can but I don't like fruits and vegetables. It's ridiculous really. I was a vegetarian for 15 years. I have no idea how bad I was eating. I wish I could survive off mexican food, quite honestly. But I know that isn't healthy so I juice the fruits and vegetables that I don't care for [kale, sweet potatoes, mostly all fruit that's juiceable, beets]. I don't do it as meal replacement, though. I juice to go with my lunch.

I used to love GP but over the years she has just become absolutely repulsive.

Jenny Ferrall said...

I think she is smiling cuz she is peeing in the water.

Cleodacat said...

The only thing Gwenny needs to do is tone up.

Johnny said...

Goop's hair looks like shit because she doesn't eat.

Susan said...

Cleodacat -Yes!! She looks like a fat skinny person, you know what I mean?

penelope jane - your post made me laugh because you said you were a vegetarian who doesn't like fruits and veggies. What did you eat as a vegetarian?

I find the juicing thing so interesting. I am curious to see if it is a food trend that will stick around. Everyone I know juices. It just kind of makes me laugh. People will smoke and drink and eat crap all night, but then claim how healthy they are because they juice. Um, ok.

Karen said...

No love for Goop, but her kids always look healthy and happy. I don't like the accusations of her mistreating her children just because this Enty hates her.

penelope jane said...

@Susan: You'd be surprised. Lots of tofu, bean burritos, what I call the holy trinity [avocado, tomato and onion], bananas, apples. Pasta. My teens and twenties were awesome. Also: vodka and cranberry juice, beer and wine. Now at 37, I can see where I went wrong!

surfer said...

One of my friends does a New Year's cleanse, but I think it's a different kind. No dairy or carbs, 20% protein, lots of vegetables (but not all). Not for me, but hey, if it works for her.

And no, Goop does not have to lose an ounce.

Star said...

Her cleanse looked so disgusting I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

Lauren said...

You're killing me today!!

Sherry said...

I never overindulge during the holidays so I don't need a "cleanse" in January. I overindulge all year so I need a "cleanse" every other month.

She doesn't need to lose any weight and if she feels she does she should probably keep that to herself. Just sayin'.

TinselSass said...

I went into Whole Foods yesterday and was assaulted at the front door with cleanse items. $7.99 lemon water juice and $8.99 green juice. Twenty feet or less from the wine aisle. Oh, the irony.

Lauren said...

LMFAO!!!

Lauren said...

Bulging? No. I hope that is a joke.

Sprink said...

Meh. Who hasn't? I'm sure we'd all agree it provides a lovely feeling of relief. And being 'one with nature'.

Sprink said...

Really? Is this the look of a flabby body? Y'all are harsh!

Eros said...

The part where you wrote about goop throwing a brown wig on and start singing Spanish songs made me laugh out loud, Enty. Thats some funny shit. :)

Sprink said...

I have no idea what she eats (press reports aside), but if I had to guess I'd say she chose ass over face. Girlfriend's hair could benefit from more good fats in her regime...

Sprink said...

Also not a fangurl and am with you on this. I hate the hate, and the accusations it breeds. Kids seem FINE to me.

Ms Cool said...

This is an attention getter. I can't imagine a woman who proclaims she is 10-15 lbs overweight appearing in a skimpy bikini. She just wants to hear all the people tell her how great she looks.

auntliddy said...

I dont think inhave ever met anyone as self obsessed as her. Go ahead, lose weight. Whatever.

Paint Chips said...

Keep loosing weight 'til you disappear for good.

Lauren said...

@ auntliddy-you nailed it.

Evelyn Apricots said...

Bullshit Enty! No where in her blog post did she say she was trying to lose 10 - 15 lbs.

V said...

She had lost whatever curves she had a few years ago. An extra 10lbs would do her body good.

FlirtyChick74 said...

Ms. Cool: that was my first thought too.

FlirtyChick74 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FlirtyChick74 said...

I agree with Cleodacat

Becks said...

For all the working out she claims to do, I am not impressed with her body. Sure, she is slim...but she has no muscle tone at all. Her belly and skinny arms remind me of malnourished children. Not cute. She is skinny fat.
Me thinks the Tracy Anderson method isnt working.....

texas rose said...

10 or 15 pounds! That's easy- just pull that golden spoon and slipper out of her ass!!

NomNom83 said...

A cleanse is just that, it's not necessarily about weight loss but ridding toxins and, I guess making your bowels less backed up, or something. Personally, I'm not down, but to each their own.

Anyway, I don't know where Enty's getting this "10-15 pounds of weight loss" detail from, since it's not mentioned in the cleanse article/menu on Goop: http://www.goop.com/journal/make/264/winter-detox-mag.

I'm not saying she doesn't have body issues or anyone should follow this menu, but it seems like Goop is low-hanging fruit for snarky gossips to just make up whatever and it sounds believable. I'm skeptical, is all I'm saying.

Tish said...

I do the same cleanse that she does every year. It is really hard, but I feel great after a week or so (it's a 21 day cleanse). My kids don't like most of my clean diet foods, so I prepare normal, kid friendly food for them. I'm sure she does the same. Not many kids are willing to eat puréed lentil soup, kale smoothies etc.

Stepforded said...

@Lauren, yes, a joke. I should have put a winky face after my comment.

She's frightfully thin ... her torso scares me.

parissucksliterally said...

I think she looks great, but I understand where she is coming from. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to your body - that is the way it is for many of us.

nurysp said...

that marc anthony line tho..lmfao

Alexa Rose said...

I think she gets her high off of not eating and doing these cleanses.

Meauxelle said...

@Tinsel- I'd be willing to try her cleanse if I could mix it with something from the wine aisle..

MISCH said...

she's an IDIOT her face already looks much older than her body…..

BaronessOrczy said...

She needs to add 10-15 pounds of muscle. I agree she's "skinny fat" and arguably clinically malnourished based on the other photos in the Daily Mail.

Krab said...

The whole idea that your body needs to "cleanse" itself of "toxins" by "eating clean" is absolute horsecrap. You have a nice organ that takes care of it for you called a liver. You don't have extra "toxins" that need to be gotten rid of via juice. Anyone who knows diddly squat about medicine or biology will tell you so. Anyone who's not trying to sell you something, that is.

Renoblondee said...

+ 1 @Krab I wanted to say something like that too, but was feeling lazy. Thank you!

Lauren said...

+100 Krab & Reno. I juice because it makes my skin good and I love the taste. (Especially when my favorite alkaholz are supplementing it) I do feel benefits (as you obviously would from a rush of nutrients) and add it to my meals. However, people talking about "removing toxins" are full of shit and simply need to crap. Let 'dem toxins loose bitches. And while we are at it, Contact me if you're interested in buying a pretty little sink-hole in Florida I have for sale...

texas rose said...

The whole 'cleanse' industry is bullshit just like the supplement industry. Billions$$$ wasted on bad biology/science. Mostly caused by the dumb bitches in Hollywood.

NaughtyNurse said...

Cleanse is just a nice, palatable word for a starvation diet. I guess when Gwyneth sees the slightest hint of having boobs, she thinks she needs to starve--ahem--cleanse.

ninotchka said...

Goop's little boobs are implants. She had them put in a while back.

She's not as thin as professional stick figure Kate Bosworth so obviously Goop has to lose some weight. ;)

Henriette said...

Just cut off her head and ten pounds gone!

Aoife said...

You could just throw a brown wig on her and have her start singing songs in Spanish and call her Marc Anthony.

=========================
I stopped reading after that line. Too funny.
Seriously though she should get help.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Good job, Krab! So-called cleanses may be a way to jump-start a diet after eating too much holiday food, but the whole toxin-removal jazz is just bunk. They're not as bad as homeopathy, but some are a bit extreme -- nobody needs to spend weeks consuming nothing but Texas Pete flavored lemonade!

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

I've been kinda poo-pooing around here lately, cracking wise at A-list Farrah Abraham and Drunks on a Plane, even though I do like this site.

But seriously, it seems like every time Enty posts a non-blind item about whatever celebrity, someone comes along with some basic fact-checking, and whatever Enty posted turns out to be false.

The inaccurate info doesn't bring in tons more visitors, as most commenters read in good faith and leave comments, not realizing it's wrong. If anything, it just makes me side-eye the blinds. If Enty can't get the reported stories right, how can the blinds be right?

Little Miss Hollywood said...

That's definitely not a pilates-toned body

Little Miss Hollywood said...

Get a grip Boogy - this isn't National Geographic