Friday, July 27, 2007

Ted C Blind Item--Today 20 Questions About Toothy Tile

Look, everybody, I was going to tell you all about a certain Morgan Mayhem family member who, just like Morgy, is getting hugely wasted more often than she burps overpriced champagne, but, like, whatever, ya know? No big ser-prize there.

So, instead, due to an overwhelming demand for all things closeted and Toothy Tile, we’re going to round up all recent clues provided for our limited-run special 20 Questions and give ya another fab clue! Ding ding ding! Hot fun for the same-sex tum, huh? Now, keep in mind, for those of you teething for Tooth, we’re not even friggin’ halfway through the 20 queries, but thus far, this is what we’ve previously let out, as it were:

Q: Was he on Dancing with the Stars?
A: No. T2 is a talented thesp who's way above reality TV, trust.

Q: Are Toothy's initials in the first half of the alphabet, or the second? FYI: I'm asking about his real name, not pseudonym, so no tricks please.
A: No.

Q: Is Toothy known to be an animal lover?
A: Uh, yes, but isn’t everybody (or at least pretending to be) in this hairy town?

Q: What happened to Baby Tile? Did Toothy and B-F Tile have the kid, or did they give up on the idea of becoming dads? Are they still together and superdomesticated?
A: Give the nonnuclear fam time, doll-babe.

Q: Is Toothy Tile known to be athletic?
A: That, my dear, depends on your definition of athletic. He can hold his own, how about that?

Q: Is Toothy Tile Isaiah Washington?
A: Wrong bum-lovin’ boy. Think younger, cuter ‘n’ sans snarkiness.

And for all you unleashed types doggin’ for the good-lookin’ dude’s identity, here are two more newbie inquiries to get ya through the weekend. Now, keep the questions burnin’!

Q: Has Toothy Tile ever been nominated for or won a major American award?
A: For Best Kinky Performance in a Parking Lot? Why, yes! By the West Hollywood Sheriff’s voting academy, actually!

Q: Why is Jennifer Aniston the only woman Vince Vaughn has been linked to in the tabloids? Is he Toothy Tile?
A: No. He’s not nearly agile enough. Certainly not for the back-seat seduction game.

36 comments:

mngddess said...

Next time I'm in LA I'm stopping at the E! offices and either a) asking for an English to Casablanca translation booklet or B) I'm just slapping him in the face with his pink feather boa.

Cyn

tania said...

mngddess, if you want to choose b), I'll hold your coat! ;-)
Ted is largely incomprehensible.

That said, in the first part he's probably talking about La Lohan's kid sis. Poor little b*tch is doomed, IMO.

kellysirkus said...

obvs, everyone says TT is Jake G., the "back-seat seduction game" seems to fuel that fire, referencing his back-seat scene with Anne Hathaway in Bareback Mtn.

kellysirkus said...

I think the first part is referring to Lohan's Momager, the Orange Oprah.

Jac said...

Has to be JG....although what about the alphabet thing?

Ice Angel said...

I think someone on the Eonline board figured it was something to do with the phrase "the first or second part of the alphabet" and the there is no J or G in that phrase.

Twisted Sister said...

God, I hate fucking assholes who come here and can't play nicely. Geeze.

Okay, rant over....I think he's talking about Mom Lohan, too.

Kinsey said...

I think Ted actually said once that Jake isn't Toothy Tile...

Twisted Sister said...

Kinsey, I think you're confuzzled because Ted never said that. Tons of people have written him and asked him and he's denied everyone but Jake.

Tracee said...

Cyn, i'm with ya. Ted's soooo wordy. It's okay to be brief sometimes. And were these questions supposed to help? Who was askin these questions? We need physical descriptions, not if he's an animal lover. What about, what color is his hair? Or has he ever been nominated for an oscar or sag?

Well if Toothy isn't Jake, I'm leanin to Matthew Mc. He's hawt, but I don't completely buy his machismo thing. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

Twisted Sister said...

Tracee, readers of his column email and ask him the questions.

Jake isn't Matt, Ted uses another name for Matt M., although I can't recall what it is right now. Anyone know?

Tracee said...

I got that, Twisted, but I was hoping they'd be more point on with their questions. But I'm sure Ted only selected the ones he wanted to answer. -yawn!-

Ted must've ran out of blinds. Ent what's on the menu today?

j said...

I thought Matty was last week or the week before - the guy that was whining because Toothy hadn't come out yet?

Kory said...

I guess I stand alone, I love Ted.

I also thought that Morgan Mayhem was Lindsay Lohan, she all sorts of trouble. That letter that she wrote yesterday was so fabricated. She writes better than all of these socialites with 1 mis-spelling to make it look authentic.

Twisted Sister said...

Kory, I love Ted, too. I find some people here much harder to understand than Ted.

J, you mean Bulbous Seymour? I think people thought it was him, but I think there was another blind Ted did before that was more obviously Matt M and it was under a different name. Ted usually keeps the names the same.

Tracee said...

"I find some people here much harder to understand than Ted."

Yee-ouch! Twisted, you feeling okay today? Who are the assholes you are refering to? Just askin.

Hez said...

Updates and hints? Ted is totally biting your steez, Ent.

Twisted Sister said...

Tracee, scroll down:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=37309174&postID=6866648097750846009&isPopup=true#form

Who is this pompous fucker, John? I hate that b.s.

Tracee said...

Missed that comment by him. Wow, what a dick. It looks like he ran away after your throwback. Props chica! -bear hug-

okay back to gossip.

jax said...

god im so lost in this post..whos mad and for what? everything iread seemd fine.

Tracee said...

John is just calling people stupid bitches and stuff. Best to ignore and carry on with our good time.

Jennifer said...

i completely agree with tracee.... i've been making a list of everyone that ted has eliminated, and matthew mccon-a-gay has not been eliminated as far as i'm aware. he and jake, actually.

Jennifer said...

RE: my last comment...on eonline blind spot message boards:

Re: Can someone post a list of all of the actors that Ted ruled out as Toothy?

Posted: Jul 24, 2007 6:08 AM

NOT: Tobey Maguire, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx, Orlando Bloom, Usher, Ben Affleck, Michael Vartan, Vin Diesel, Elijah Wood, Jared Leto, Julian McMahon, Justin Timberlake,Tom Cruise, Hayden Christensen, James Franco, Will Smith, Val Kilmer, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Chris Klein, Wentworth Miller, Chad Michael Murray, Zach Braff, Jesse Metacalf, Lance Bass, Ricky Martin, Aaron Eckhart, Christian Bale, Josh Lucas, josh duhamel, ben mackenzie, Adam Brody, Ryan Cabrera, Topher Grace, Sean William Scott, Seth Green, Brandon Davis, Josh Hartnett, Rob Thomas, Joaquin Phoenix, Scott Speedman,Danny Bonaduce, Isaiah Washington, Vince Vaughn, Dane Cook, Mario Lopez, Matthew Perry,Neil Patrick Harris, George Clooney, Clay Aiken, John Stamos, Harry Hamlin, David Schwimmer, Gerard Butler, Shane West,

Twisted Sister said...

That may be true, Jennifer, but Ted has also posted blinds that clearly are MM and the name wasn't Toothy Tile.
blin
This site does a good job of going through each of Ted's clues:

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/2890039.html

MinMN said...

TT is JG. I don't even know why Ted is pretending this is still a secret.

McConahy (sp?) has a different name, but I can't remember it either.
Morgan is definitely Lilo. I am guessing it's about her mom as (and I am probably being naive) but I would consider the drunken 13 year old sister a surprise.

M in MN

bluegirl said...

Toothy Tile IS Jake Gyllenhaal! I don't understand how people can keep thinking its someone else.

I've been following the Toothy blinds from when Ted first starting posting them and it all leads to Jake.

What I'd like to know is why is Ted so keen on and making it so easy to guess Jake. Maybe Jake is close to coming out...

I hope he does. I think it's hot!
Also, there was one time where Ted had a blind item about another closeted gay that was Toothy's "competition". He showed a picture of Jake and wrote "competition" on the bottom of it but the picture disappeared quite quickly. So he was kind of just teasing us. This was a while ago though before they changed the whole format of the eonline page.

Jake is Toothy people! Although I wish he was into chicks. I might just have a chance! Ha ha as if...

fo real said...

Morgan Mayhem sounds like Britney Spears non?

Toothy Tile = Sean Penn?

Please do not tear me a new one I am just offering somthin' different.

Twisted Sister said...

Fo Real, trust those of us who have read Ted since the beginning. Morgan Mayhem is Lohan and Toothy Tile is Jake G. The hints for Toothy don't even fit Sean if you read them.

sfnrune said...

What I am certain of is that Ted wants everyone to believe that TT is JG. And supposedly toothy knows he's toothy and he's proud of it (as per Ted). But I'm not sure that being toothy isn't just some elaborate pr scheme that keeps Jake's name in front of people (at least in the blogosphere). I mean, seriously, would anyone be talking about Jake right now if Ted wasn't constantly churning out Toothy BIs? Certainly for the fangirls there are the occasional girlfriend items that show up in more mainstream press, for the toothy believers there are the blind items and photos of Jake with Austin Nichols (who, by the way, was recently papped on a date with Jennifer Esposito). Now as to the veracity of his gayness - who knows? Maybe he is, and if he is then toothy isn't a lie and perhaps he'll come out. If he is not gay, he knows it and his friends/family know it and unless it starts negatively affecting his opportunities to get film roles then why would he care? The rumors make him attractive to gay and gay-friendly audiences - increasing the number of tickets sold to his films. I don't know, I'm deeply cynical about the toothy thing - of course I'll still read them but I am quickly reaching my bs limit from Ted. sorry about the rant, hope it has made some sort of sense.

fo real said...

Twisted Sister yeah I am new to Ted C's blind I trust in you

fo real said...

I just went back and read come Ted C and feel really stupid with my sean penn guess... lol

fo real said...

Solving Toothy Clues
Solved Clues:

1. TT's dimples and bright smile = When Ted mentions Jake by name in other parts of his column, he includes a reference to Jake's pearly whites or dimples.
2. Marble table = Basix Café has them and where Jake was mentioned being at in Ted's column a week before the TT Saga began.
3. Superpopular, superannoyingly perfect famous girlfriend with dimples = Kirsten Dunst
4. Gusty speed racer = Jake was taught to drive by Paul Newman on a racetrack.
5. Rocketing & Rocket to Pluto = October Sky
6. "Right smack between Mr. Bloom and Mr. Wood" = The letter J is exactly spaced in between letter E and O. Also, Orlando is older and Elijah is younger than Jake, another middle reference.
7. Up-and-comer in the movie-idol biz = Day After Tomorrow, Jarhead, Brokeback Mountain.
8. Tobey M = dated Kirsten before she started dating Jake. Jake almost replaced Tobey for Spiderman 2.
9. James Franco = worked with Kirsten Dunst and Tobey, who looks similar to Jake, in Spiderman 1 & 2.
10. Jared Leto = worked with him in Highway.
11. Loves his ex-gf = Still seen around with Kirsten, even though they're not official anymore.
12. Adam Brody = close in age
13. Ashton Kutcher = older than Jake
14. Hayden worked with Jake on a the play This Is Our Youth a few years ago.
15. Geographic location = Jake was born and raised in L.A. The O.C. is directly below L.A.
16. The "fake butt hounding" line sounds like a direct lead to Brokeback Mountain

from http://blinditems.typepad.com/dish/toothy_tile/index.html

Twisted Sister said...

Fo Real, thanks for listing these.

I know some people still think Toothy Tile is MM, but until they tie in all the clues with him, it's kind of a moot point, isn't it? Besides, when Ted talks about MM he mentions his abs and hair plugs, so it's a little easier to get the blinds if you read him regularly. Sometimes it's just a matter of discounting people Ted has written about under another name.

Also, the regular readers know that the reason Ted made his blind item all about Toothy last week is because he was getting flooded with mail for more hints over the past month and has begrudgingly thrown a bone here and there. He doesn't seem to have an agenda where Toothy Tile is concerned, and it's not the type of pr any serious young actor would seek out.

Production Girl said...

I remember one of the Q&A revealed Toothy to have been born sometime around 1979-1982.

I will look for it and post it.

Production Girl said...

Found it......


Aug. 8th 2006

Dear Ted:
I think One Confused Blind Vice's Toothy Tile is Adam Brody from The O.C. He has Rachel Bilson, and he's up and coming.
Helen
Canada

Dear Canadian Fakin':
You got that right, sweet stuff, but from what I hear, A.B.'s just up and comin' with R.B., not a handsome young dude. Think more celebrated and certainly more photographed. Right age and looks though.

Twisted Sister said...

Production Girl, thanks posting this hint. Adam Brody was born in 1979, Jake Gyllenhaal in 1980 and Matthew McConaughey in 1969, so that hint alone knocks MM out of the running.