Lainey Blind Item
Here’s a riddle for all riddles…took several weeks to research and confirm because the level of atrocity is just so unspeakable.
A legendary philanderer, now that he’s allowed, managed to talk some random twat into sleeping with him…repeatedly. She of course is an aspiring celebrity like so many young 20 somethings running around these days, obsessed with The Hills, believing they can be the next Lauren Conrad, dreaming of finally “moving to LA” and then when getting there, hooking up with any actor that can get them papped while leaving a club.
Why are some girls so dumb?
So dumb they get talked into sex without a condom, so dumb they get knocked up? When he found out, of course he promised he’d make it official…he’d legitimise her as his girlfriend but she had to, as you would expect, get rid of the bump. A nice cheque and a bauble, along with several thousand dollars worth of merchandise from Fred Segal came along with the promise.
Naturally she believes him. And she gets it done. And now he won’t return her calls preferring instead to set up a few photo opps depicting him the perfect single man. Her friends, seeing a cash opportunity, are imploring her to run to the tabs. Only she’s in love and is afraid to ruin her chances.
So all she does is keep calling. Only to be met with radio silence on the other end.
Pray Xenu she finally starts singing the jilted blues all the way to the National Enquirer. It’s about time this sleaze loses what’s left of a dwindling fanbase.
27 comments:
Ryan Philipe or Heath Ledger? I'm voting for Ryan because he actually had a fan base that has dwindled. I think Heath has been under the radar his whole career.
ryan..she's already said "and it's not" to most other guesses this morn.
we all knew he was a douche, why else would Princess divorce him?
WTF is the Xenu reference for?
What I don't get is what the Xenu/Scientology reference has to do with Philipe.
I think Lainey always prays to Xenu.
thanks robert
What about Brody Jenner with the Hills and LC comments?
riddle for all riddles = Heath Ledger?
ryan philipe: lainey's disdain for him is legendary ad this blind oooozes with it.
Seriously, there was a woman who thought he was going to make it official if she "took care of the problem" That is a sad excuse for a brain.
Anyone else notice the phrasing, "Radio Silence". That's not an all too common phrasing. I feel like this could possibly be a HUGE hint.
?
My first thought was George Clooney. She said "a legendary philanderer, now that he's allowed" I thought that referred to George Clooney's endlessly single status with the exception of that one girlfriend he got in an accident with, then she suddenly stopped showing up.
But Heath Ledger and Ryan Phillipe make sense too.
Leonardo DiCaprio
Ledger plays the Joker. Jim Carrey was The Riddler, and he seems really happy w/ Jenny McCarthy and her son.
Radio Silence, hmmmn Seacrest, Bonaduce, Stern?
radio silence, hmmmn, Danny Bonaduce?
photo opps - perfect single man, NOT Bonaduce
What about Ethan Hawk?
For some reason Jude Law comes to mind. But I dunno if he's a legendary philanderer.
I mean Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson are legendary...who could rack points like the big dogs...Clooney?
I dont know why but Cuba Gooding Jr comes to mind with the "radio" hint... it just blared at me. I havent done any research on the dude and for all I know he's happily married with 80 kids.... thought I remembered him with a bit of a partying prob tho...
nevermind, apparently he's been married for ages. sorry, kids!
Xenu is in reference to the all-seeing Scientologists. It's a long running sort-of-joke on Lainey's site, mostly shows up in Tom Cruise posts.
Totally Ryan. Lainey's thing is that she uses code words to reference the same people. This one reeks of references to when Ryan was filming in Vancouver and cheating on Reese with every dumb, blond waitress at the Cactus Club in Yaletown. Went from one to the other to the other.
I believe "radio silence" is referring to the military, where any radio transmission may reveal troop positions, either audibly from the sound of talking, or by its use as a homing signal. It was used mainly in broadcasting, in the event of an attack. This occurred after Japan bombed Pearl Harbor in World War II, hence the BIG CLUE. Ryan Philippe starred in "Flags of Our Fathers" which was about the Battle of Iwo Jima, a turning point in WWII. Gotta be Ryan!
Ted had a blind last month about Brody Jenner getting a girl pregnant. Seems too obvious with the Hills references but... "allowed" he was in a fake relationship w/Lauren, and is known being sleazy and dating all the celebrities he can for publicity.
Anybody think this could be KFed? "Radio Silence" is a Thomas Dolby song; Dolby smacked him down when he tried to sample "She Blinded Me With Science"...
http://www.laineygossip.com/Ryan_Phillippe_introduces_Abbie_Cornish_to_his_children_.aspx
It's Ryan. Read Lainey's tone as she reports that Ryan's basically legitimizing the dumb girl who moved to LA and talks about his deteriorating fan base.
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