Friday, April 04, 2008

Pimpa Turned Jessica Into A Bit Of A Freak


Lost in all the shuffle yesterday of Perez Hilton outing John Mayer was the little throwaway line that said while the two made out, Jessica Simpson spent the entire time rubbing John Mayer's crotch. I always thought Ashlee was the freaky sister. I mean being with Pete Wentz you have to know that at some point, freaky s**t is going to happen. Whether it be animals or little people or unique uses for velcro, things are going to happen.

But apparently Pimpa must have taught both his little girls that it is ok to be freaky. I think we are all in agreement that Jessica was never freaky with Nick which is why he found the freakiest person he could. Anyone who saw Newlyweds and realized that Nick had to beg for a month and spend a couple of thousand to get anything other than missionary once a week from Jessica knows someone else brought the freak out of her.

So who was it? Dane Cook? He isn't funny but he looks like he could be a freak. Bam Margera? Another person who likes to play both sides of the ball so maybe. Maybe she was pulling trains on Dukes Of Hazzard, or Pimpa had a talk with her. Who knows. I do know one thing though. Tony Romo must have told everyone in the locker room. Remember how all the players thought she was a jinx, and then Tony had a talk with them and they all changed their stories immediately. Yep, obviously they all think they have a chance now.

I could just be seeing too much into this. She could have just been drunk as crap and didn't know her boyfriend was making out with Perez and just was doing what Daddy told her to do.

27 comments:

Jesse D said...

Ok, are we seriously taking this Perez thing.... seriously?? I just can't see it. Maybe I just don't *WANT* to see it....

Marisa said...

Lainey Blind Item! Please post, Enty!

ms_wonderland said...

Perez outs everyone. He's not a reliable source. If he claimed that a hotty like John Meyer made out with him thats just Perez' wishful thinking. Not saying Meyer is straight, but gay for Perez? Ha!

I must be missing the point here, but how is rubbing a guy's crotch freaky?

p m said...

I think the kink comes in when you realize she was rubbing John's crotch while he was kissing another dude.

And I can see this happening.

Irishstayc said...

Ms Wonderful - I think EL meant it was freaky that they were in public, her boyfriend was making out with a man and she was participating by rubbing his crotch.

I for one wouldn't be stroking my man's crotch while he made out with another guy - I'd be walking out the door - and the next day i'd send him a book on how to come out to his family. LOL

jax said...

Perez took a lie detecter and its going to be on tv..see his website.
this shit is getting nast-y!

ms_wonderland said...

Ah, thanks for the explanation. EL says 'while the two made out' and the last two he mentioned were Meyer and Simpson. It sounded like Perez just reported it. I don't read Perez.

Rare Avis said...

I think this is a case of getting wasted at a club. I think that Perez just shot himself in the head now. He is making it seem like such a huge deal. If a straight girl kisses another girl does that make her a dyke? Guys can be a little different, but the thought is still the same. Anyway, it was a kiss you f**ktard. So what if it was John Mayer. I hope you enjoy it because people will think twice before it happens again. Ok, thinking of Perez Hilton, maybe 5 or 6 times in the first place, now 10 or 12. Cause really, who needs that nelly buzzkill anyway?

Irishstayc said...

hmmmm anyone think this may smack of Ashton's Pop Fiction?? Just a thought...

daniel said...

Yeah I just don't understand what he was hoping to do by this other than getting upset at what John wrote in his blog entry a week or so ago
"This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man".
I just thing John was definitely drunk maybe other things as well and was just fucking around. Because lets be honest, if he was gay I think he would probably be leaning towards someone actually attractive.

Town Bike said...

It was Johnny Knoxville.

kevin said...

I think JS is a little freaky to due to the religious upbringing. Didn't Pimpa make his money off the collection plate before he made it off his daughters tits?

Pinky said...

I'm with Irish. John's blog was the set up, then Perez went in for the kill. Totally Ashton.

violet said...

I admit from time to time I go on Perez. Boycotted him for a LONG TIME, but in the end a boring day at work = trolling his website for pics (after CDAN of course!!). Anyway,I digress. Prior to this Perez has made a few comments to John about "that night" implying john Mayer "knows" what he is referring to but never gave details.
I heard Perez on KIIS w/ R. Seacrest and he was swearing up and down this happened. Perez said he himself was shocked, and mentioned J.M's PR person never denied it, but commented w. "its ridiculous" John Mayer seems to like to shock factor so I can see this happening. Just my 2 cents.
But in the end.... who really cares?

Visman said...

There are other bloggers that think the gay blogger blurb was about them. P.H. is pretty disturbing.

Twisted Sister said...

Maybe they were kissing the same way Brit and Madonna were kissing....just to be freaky and make news.

But seriously, I don't see Perez being attractive to anyone of any gender.

Ayesha said...

I, too, have a really hard time believing that John Mayer was really making out with Perez. Either it was a stunt, or it's a lie. I see Jessica as a sexual void. She doesn't have a concept of real sexual intimacy - she just does whatever it takes to please her partner, pleasing that person to get whatever she wants.

Leah said...

Just the thought of anyone making out with Perez makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

uuugggghhhh

Moonmaid said...

John Mayer may be a bit of a pompous ass, but he's not stupid enough to tongue kiss Perez Hilton, even if he is drunk or bi or whatever.

wtf said...

Perez doesn't do anything for me, but I've seen pictures when he wasn't as heavy and he's kinda attractive.

Mayer isn't all that either, plus he pees on his sex partners.

Yucky!!!!!!!

DBF said...

As far as Jessica's freakiness, there were reports on the gossip blogs around the time she and Nick broke up about her and her assistant diddling each other and she didn't consider it sexual because it was a girl. Supposedly they were drunk on a pool table. That's why I laughed about the BI where she was disgusted by a lesbian who who asked her out. Jess and her whole family are full of crap.

Judi said...

Total B.S. Who'd want P.H.? Thoroughly disgusting pig-slob. Town Bike, I agree that Knoxville freed Simpson.

Amber said...

I refuse to go to Perez's site, so I want to know if this is new? No right? B/c Jessica was still with John when it happened?

So months later, Perez suddenly wants to talk about it? uh huh

jax said...

well Perez passed the lie detector,just watched it.

oooh i love the juice like this.

squirm Johnny you mean prick!

Sexecution said...

3 of the most over rated nothings who are web famous more than real famous at this point - I am happy that 3 of the most tasteless, talentless people on earth found a way to whore each other out. Anyone who touched Perez should be quarantined to a deserted island, ala Doctor Hannibal Lector. Freaks.

PollyPureBred said...

I agree with Twister Sister. Sounds like something JM would do to be out there and edgy.

PH is full of shit.

someone said...

Jessica Simpson's proactive voice really is nasty. She bugs.