Wednesday, October 22, 2008
About once a year I write about Santa or something that has happened to Santa. Was it last year that Santa had to file charges against the woman who kept groping him looking for his special candy cane. I loved that story. That one made me laugh. This one. Not so much. Below is my letter to Tysons Corner Mall which is a huge mall outside Washington DC. For why I am writing the letter, click here.
Dear Tysons or Grinch or however you spell your name,
I just read in the Washington Post how you basically screwed your Santa over for a few extra bucks. I really think that shows what kind of people are running your organization. Your Santa has been working at your mall each winter for the past 18 years. Eighteen years he has showed loyalty to your organization and to all your customers. Customers who came as children now bring their own children to see Santa.
You obviously at some point felt very good about him being your Santa as he has a contract with your organization that is good through 2012. Based on that legal document he went and bought a house last year. You probably don't know this because he is just a guy in a red suit to you, but he actually lives in Tennessee, and comes up to the Washington DC area every year because he likes the people, the customers, the atmosphere and because he feels a sense of loyalty. Obviously these are not characteristics you share with Santa.
Also in reliance upon that contract, Santa bought three new suits this year. Did you know they go through that many suits? I didn't, but when you think about the thousands upon thousands of customers who sit on his lap each day it isn't surprising. Those suits cost $900 each. He also buys a new pair of boots each year which cost $725. He sure does a lot to make himself appear to be the very best Santa he can be. That is a big commitment. Something again, which I don't think you share with him.
Sure, Santa makes a decent wage when he works for you. Santa says he makes about $30,000 over the holiday season. It seems like a lot until you guess he is working 7 days a week for 15 hours a day for about six weeks. He does that with a smile on his face all the time because he can't let any child or parent not think he is giving 100%. Obviously something you don't really do there either.
Did you notice the day on the calendar? It is October 22. Just about two months until Christmas. When did you let Santa know you would be using some rent a santa from a national company that promised you more money from photos? Oh? This past weekend. Well, don't you think that most Santas have been hired already for malls around the US? You don't really care do you? You don't care if your customers are upset or if they call you names. You don't care if they let you join in any reindeer games. Hell, can you even name all the reindeer? Probably not, but I bet you tell all your friends about the time you went to Finland and ate one. Why don't you tell that to your kid and see how they react. Oh? You don't have children? Of course you don't because you wouldn't be such heartless bastards if you did.
Have you ever stopped to consider that if 500 of your customers decided to go to Pentagon City or some other mall in the DC area and spend their money there in protest that it might in fact offset whatever extra few dollars you are getting with the photo company? You probably didn't. You just saw fat dollar signs in front of your eyes and forgot the most important lesson about Christmas.