Thursday, March 05, 2009

How To Make Money Off Your Birthday Every Month


It seems that it was just a month ago that Paris Hilton was in Las Vegas celebrating her 27th birthday. Wow, time flies because she is now 28. Oh, wait. No, she is still just 27, but it turns out that a club in Las Vegas wants to pay her some money to host another birthday party. No, not for someone else, but for her again. Are you trying to tell me they couldn't find any other random ass celebrity and celebrate their birthday in Las Vegas this weekend? Apparently not. To show that Paris Hilton is getting a piece of the door and the bar this weekend for the party and not just a guaranteed fee for showing up, Paris took to her blog to invite the entire world to her party. This of course means that her home is ripe for another burglary since we all know she won't be home.

Plus, the air will be a little fresher in Los Angeles this weekend and the pharmacists won't have to work as hard and can just enjoy that Southern California sunshine. Of course the pharmacists will be extra busy this weekend in Las Vegas assuring people they cannot catch the herp just by being in the same room as Paris. They might catch something else, but they won't catch the herp. Of course those guys who are unfortunate enough to be invited back to her room for a special screening of Hot Or Not, may indeed want to be examined by their doctor, not only for disease, but also for brain damage, because why the f**k else would you go back to Paris Hilton's room?

Next month Paris will be hosting another birthday party, this time for her dog, but if you wear a leash you get half price drinks from 7-9pm.

25 comments:

canadachick said...

half price drinks ....and all i have to wear is a leash ? Hell i've done worse for drinks

Sylvia said...

I can't stand this slut. Always finding ways for attention. What do they call those kids ADD or ADA I can't remember which initials it is.

MontanaMarriott said...

Awww PH, the Zsa Zsa Gabor of our generation, famous for no reason at all!

stiffkittens said...

If she can have a B-Day every month, can she age a year each month too? That way the world would be a safer place in time for the Olympics.

shazzzba said...

I PRAY FOR A NO MORE PARIS WORLD...WHAT A WASTE OF SKIN AND BONE...I'M SURE THERE'S NO BRAIN IN THERE.......

Ariel said...

Enty. Stop bitching about Paris. It is not that interesting to read, and not everyone hates her as much as you do.
If you have such a problem, stop covering her so much.

stiffkittens said...

Ariel, i think you got lost on the way to justjared.

stiffkittens said...

And yes everyone on here hates the whore.

Mooshki said...

"...not everyone hates her as much as you do."

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Funniest thing on CDaN in months!!!

Tiffany said...

20 purses....check
100 pairs of shoes....check
150 outfits.....check
dogs in closet....check

Bad Fish said...

Ha ha Ariel the new CDAN cut up. Shouldn't you be off checking your PopSugar mail or something?

Mooshki said...

Ugh, I just went to Perez, and he has new staged pictures of Doug shoving his tongue down her throat. I should've caught onto this when I saw the first "candid" pics of them: they are trying to be the new Speidi. Unbelievable.

Mooshki said...

And by "unbelievable" I mean exactly what anyone would've expected, if they'd wasted any time thinking about it.

nancer said...

why won't she just go awaaaaaaaaay????????

DNfromMN said...

Ok guys, someone expresses an unpopular opinion and we jump down their throat? Not cool. Yes Paris is an unscrupulous whore, and we should try and educate people who disagree, but picking on other commenters? Not very welcoming.

Anyway, why does it have to be a birthday party? That's what I don't get. Why can't it just be: Paris hosts (theme) party?

Mooshki said...

You're right, DN, but it's Paris Hilton! Ariel, my rude reaction was because of how I feel about her, not you. :)

And if you're wondering why, she locked one of her dogs in her closet and forgot about it and it died. :(

stiffkittens said...

Apparently that was a common occurrence, Mooshki :(

She also lets them all inbreed with each other because she is too much of a fuckwit to spay/neuter them. She should be banned from owning any animal for the rest of her whorish life.

califblondy said...

I'm curious which club is paying her. Hell, maybe it's Whiskey Pete's or some place like that. LOL.

Bad Fish said...

Hm, someone tells the author of this blog what he should or shouldn't be posting, and its unkind of us to tell them exactly what we think...?

Ernestine said...

Enty, I am begging you from the very cockles of my heart: PLEASE STOP WRITING ABOUT THIS WHORE.

K?thxbye.

Lila said...

What's more surprising to me are all of the people who go to the parties she hosts. Those are the real morons if you ask me; she's working because she's getting work. She IS losing popularity and Hollywood can't stand her so her climb down began a while ago. I just ignore all of the crap about her, I only read it here actually.

Jungle007 said...

Ern-- "The very cockles of my heart" LOL!!!! LOL til i die!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhh

OK you can all pick on me for saying this, but I watched her BFF show!! No, I didn't enjoy it... and I know i should be ashamed.


ok.... I actually watched twice. But, hell, curiousity got the best of me and it was so hilarious.

And by hilarious, I mean cuntastic.

stiffkittens said...

Jungle007 - Lol... Lets pretend it's the hormones, eh? I'm too scared to watch her due to the parasite effect..

Jungle007 said...

Stiffkittens- yeap, that's my excuse. hormones

I just hope my bf's willing to forgive and forget. He wasn't too pleased with my choice of program when he had a perfectly good bball game to watch.

Sporky said...

*wiping tears of laughter due to Ariel's comment and responses*

I love you guys.