Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Lauren Conrad Is A Published Author


While millions of good writers are struggling to get their first book published, Lauren Conrad of course already has a three book deal and the first of her books will be for sale beginning June 16th. The book, entitled LA Candy is the fictional account of a young girl who moves to LA and unexpectedly becomes the star of a reality show. I'm guessing Lauren had to really dig deep for that life experience. Are people who watch The Hills really going to be that desperate to read a book by Lauren? Are you telling me that HarperCollins couldn't find any other worthy authors out there? Whatever money they are paying Lauren, I am sure it is about ten times what they would pay any other new author. It might even be more. I would much prefer they gave 10 authors a chance at a first novel. I'm guessing that one of those novels would end up selling more than the Lauren Conrad book will.

Oh, that's right. It isn't just one book, we get two more after this from Lauren. On her blog, Lauren says that the books "are definitely influenced by my own life. Some of the characters may symbolize people in my life, but it is in no way calling anyone out. I want them to transport people to another place."

Where are they going to transport people to? It is going to be The Hills but with words. This kind of thing just makes me sick, especially because I guarantee you she didn't write the book on her own.

32 comments:

Norah said...

there are way to many books about teen girls being famous now.
lame.

shakey said...

I don't think she can properly describe eye-rolling and salad munching. Is the writing filled with half-finished sentences and non-conversations? "And I was 'like, yeah, I mean you don't just ... yeah.' And then Madrina replied, "I was just like, confused, and yeah. You know?'"

Kelly said...

Their first mistake is assuming fans of The Hills can read...

Bad Fish said...

Exactly. I'm surprised they think the Hills audience is a reading audience.

Cabbage Babble said...

Amen, Enty. I work for a publishing company that specializes in new and unpublished authors. It kills me to have to reject GOOD manuscripts due to space, so it kills me even more to know that such an idiot gets the pleasure of seeing her "prose" in print with a publishing house behind her.

Gah!

ambernyc said...

And I thought teen books couldn't get much worse than "Twilight".

Sean said...

All I can say is...(deleted for use of inventive profanity)...I mean, I might not be a great writer but this...

Pookie said...

wow, the publishing industry has really sold out. :(

jax said...

oh Enty it's all part of the MTV machine, you know this.

and yes, we can read.

selenakyle said...

For me to even acknowledge this person exits or furthermore to bother reading anything she would have supposedly *written*...

...there'd better be some DAMN JUICY gossip inside! I'm talking deets.

nancer said...

i can't even imagine what she has to say that could fill ONE book, let alone 3.

but, if her fans (she has fans? yikes!) read her books, at least they're reading. that's not altogether a bad thing.

Sporky said...

OOPS! They forgot the word "Nose" on the title.

I've never watched The Hills and never will, but I've seen pictures of this girl and she has the cuntiest smile I've ever seen.

Mooshki said...

"and yes, we can read."

Hee! Me too.

trogdor said...

Ent is wrong!

This is a great move by the publishing house!

He doesnt realize that LC can't write. Hell, she can barely speak.

The publishing company will hire 25 ghostwriters to actually write the book. 1 to write it, the other 24 to take turns interviewing her. Well, you might need more since a couple will surely die of boredom.

heh heh...

jenna said...

Okay, I'll admit it - I love The Hills. And even The City. Its like crack to me - I cannot get enough. This does not mean I think it is a great Tv programme, or that any of it is 'real'. I don't even like most of the people on it! But it is addictive trash tv at its best.

I'm fairly certain I'm not alone in feeling this way. However, as much as I love it, I would never ever buy any Book, or any other sort of merchandise nonsense. I think Harper have misjudged this.

Perez said...

Fuck Lauren Conrad, and fuck Rupert Murdoch and his shitty Nazi foisting mechanism of a company for doing this deal. Of course it'll be pimped all over Murdoch's MySpace platform, which, since becoming acquired by NewsCorp, has itself turned into a stupid foisting mechanism for celebrity diarrhea like this. Oh, and fuck Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Speidi and the rest of the crap Murdoch's machine pushes, too.

Charlene said...

I can't even imagine what she has to say that could fill the cover, let alone the book.

I hope the ghost writer is getting a percentage of the gross, not the net.

Snautrag said...

How many innocent trees had to die for this drivel?

shakey said...

jenna, I just can't get into The City even though Whitney was my favourite character on The Hills. I may become addicted the same way I was addicted to The Hills - one of those Saturday marathons to wash the brain.

Jungle007 said...

I never really got into any of the mtv shows, but my name is VERY similar to LC's (same initials, same first name) and some of my Hills-watching friends call me LC, you know, for sh*ts and giggles.

Anyways, off topic. I'm no expert but i doubt there will be any gossip, at least any REAL gossip, considering she seems to really try to be this angelic, sweet-talking, wannabe psychiatrist type. Any dirt in this book will be that of the glitter variety.

You know, show-dirt.

Jenna said...

How quick you all are to judge this girl and her book. You don't even know her and you haven't even read the book yet. It's sad to see such jealousy and all the mean comments. I say good for her. She would be stupid for not taking advantage of every opportunity.

bionic bunny! said...

huh-oh, jenna, your unicorn is double parked in the fairy sparkle zone.

Jungle007 said...

I looove how everytime people rip on someone for a being lame and pretentious, there's always someone ready to jump in and say "you're just jealous!!"

Jealous? No. I'm JEALOUS of Salma Hayek for being gorgeous and smart. I'm JEALOUS of Julia Robert for her f*cking gorgeous smile and having so much money to throw at her kids. I'm JEALOUS of Drew, Halle, and even Beyonce for their hard-earned success.

LC. Hm. Nope. Not jealous of her. There's nothing to be jealous OF.

audieh_1 said...

I'm lost. I don't watch this show so I am only going by what I read on gossip blogs. Isn't this the girl who had a one time singing career? And isn't there some sort of fashion line in there too?

Nature Girl said...

LOL @ Bionic Bunny!

Hee Hee...yeah Jenna, there's no jelously, just head shaking at the fact that this famous-for-nothing chick gets a 3 book deal when talented no-names can't even get a junior editor to look at their work.

I hope Lauren's secretly embarrased seeing her name on the book's cover knowing it was ghost-written.

jenna said...

yeah there are 2 jenna's posting here! I'm the first one!

canadachick said...

hey my friend is writing a book...its fantastic but sadly since we live in teh middle of NO WHERE it will never get published...SIGH and this idiot gets a 3 book deal....this is whats wrong with the world..the little guy never gets ahead.

Katie said...

Chapter 1:
"Like, he is so shady, like, that's really shady, like Brody, like, Spencer, like, um, like, Justin Bobby and um, like, shady and Heidi betrayed me and I miss our friendship, like, um, ewww, Fashion Institute and like, um, Stephanie is nice, and like, Audrina, wow, my parents sold their house and like, drama, too much drama, People's Revolution and, like Whitney's hair is shiny."

Mooshki said...

Katie, do you write for The Hills? LOL!

Emma31 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emma31 said...

Jungle007... I agree 100%

I love how her name is bigger that the title!!

Wil said...

Uch.. Fuck me. This is depressing as I am trying to get published. I need a drink now...