Friday, August 07, 2009

Ted C Blind Item

Most featured Blind Vice babes just guest star in this blolumn, but Morgan Mayhem's practically a series regular here at the Awful Truth. Truthfully, she should be happy for the work, especially since she's favored her drama and drug addiction over any semblance of a once spot-on career.

We're almost falling asleep at Morg's predictable downward spiral, and it looks like she's bored, too—she's looking for a change.

Not in lifestyle, like sobering up finally and screwing her head on right, but in drug choice. M2's party days of dipping her nose in the white stuff just don't thrill anymore, which may be why she turned to meth (Wonder if she and Emma Uh-Oh ever hung out in the same crystal-abusing circles?). Morgy got bored with that, too, and has moved onto something entirely new to stick in her bod.

And it's deadlier than blow or meth, if you can believe it:

If Michael Jackson's death can be used as a cautionary tale, Morgan Mayhem's new fave things, prescription drugs, are the most dangerous things to abuse. Why? Well, (a) they're easy to get and keep getting, as long as you get that first prescription, and (b) abusers don't exactly consider themselves to be abusing drugs in the naughty sense of the D-word, since they got 'em straight from a doctor. A medical "professional" gave them to me, so it must be OK! Right?

So wrong. Morg's constantly up on Adderall, among other happy pills. Some wouldn't be surprised that the unfocused honey's got ADD, but this is strictly for recreational use as opposed to anything M2 actually needs—gives her a much-mellower high as opposed to an anxious tick like blow, and she can actually get some work done! Girl can actually fake being sober a lot better than she could before, which only encourages her to keep pill-popping like mad. But deep down she must know something's not right, since she still tries to hide her habit from everyone around her.

But she's not always successful: M2 was just caught red-handed with the script stuff by her dearest friends—the paparazzi. Spilled all over the sidewalk, reds, blues and purples falling out of her purse, M-hon scrambling to pick them all up. She begged her photo friends to erase the pics, which they did—and they would, if they wanted Ms. Mayhem to keep calling them whenever she goes out on the town.

So can't anyone help poor Morgan? Anyone?

And It Ain't: Kristen Stewart, Hayden Panettiere, Mischa Barton

24 comments:

Shannon said...

I really hope I'm wrong, but is this Lindsay Lohan?

GalFriday said...

Dakota Fanning.

J/K - Lohan. Didn't she just get a job?

AnonMom said...

I really do hope someone can help Lindsay ... she's so young, and it's easy to forget that.

captivagrl said...

Morgan Mayhem is Lohan and this isn't shocking.

jlb said...

Lindsay Morgan Lohan get your shit together.

Who is Emma Uh-Oh - Britney?

Shannon said...

I was thinking Emma uh-oh was mischa barton

Share said...

Lindsay is drugging herself into an early grave. If she doesn't get clean permanently, she'll be dead before 25 - if that.

allison said...

lindsay lohan for sure, she calls the paps constantly and then pretends like she gets annoyed. sad. she looks terrible she needs to get it together

McDooks said...

MM is obvious but who is Emma Uh-Oh??

dreadpiratecuervo said...

Lindsay throwing crying fits for the paps outside SamRo's house sounds liek fulfilling a blackmail obligation.

Pookie said...

holy cow. don't that little girl's parents give a crap AT ALL?

def LL. remember...she dropped/spilled a ton of crap from her bag a few weeks ago when leaving samantha's house...tons of pics of that. guess the paps deleted the incriminating stuff...or kept it for a juicy day. :(

msanthropist said...

I think Emma Uh-Oh is Mischa Barton, it makes total sense - first initial M and two syllables in surname. Plus meth face of course.

And MM was one of the only blind items I'd ever correctly guessed, I was so proud. :)

hello kitty said...

This is sooooooooooooooo old.

Mooshki said...

Yeah, Kitty, LiLo's been on adderall forever.

AvaMore said...

Sorry~ but I could care less about this talentless dumb-a**.

Between "sobriety" and being a "lesbian", she has nothing else going for her BUT drugs...and she still gets work, so apparently he addictions don't bother anyone but Ted.

Pat~hetic.

RocketQueen said...

Of course it's Lohan. I think Emma-Uh-Oh was agreed to be Samaire Armstrong, but that was just by 'most votes'.

ambernyc said...

Lohan's a lost cause.

selenakyle said...

Adderall is likely how she got so skinny, not by the meth and coke.

I read a long time ago that's what Parasite and Nicole used for weight control.

GD, I wish I could get me some of that. And I really am pretty hyper, I could probably get it. But it probably makes your BP skyrocket...

warmislandsun said...

This feels like it was recycled.

littlemanwhatnow said...

i work for a very famous pap agency and i never saw pic of pills with lohan and none of the paps have said anything and i know them all...i still think it's her though.

rachelstargirlrox said...

Lindsey Lohan. Who else?

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

What, is Ted on vacation or something? Going to the Morgan Mayhem well again? BOORRR--INNNGGG!

Andrea said...

Um, okay, except I'm on Adderall, and it doesn't make you high. I guess if you took a LOT of it, it might make you high. Or if you opened the capsules and crushed it and snorted it. But if you're going to do that, why not just get speed? It's probably cheaper, and certainly easier to obtain.

J-Mo said...

Same as Andrea, I'm a female on ADHD meds and if I were to take more than one it would make me sleepy.
Number one way to see if a person really has ADHD is to give them the drugs and see if they help the symptoms or if it's just like giving them speed.