Tuesday, March 08, 2011

I Can't Keep Up With Charlie Sheen


I think I have figured out why Charlie Sheen needs multiple goddesses in his life. It is because he is literally awake 24 hours a day and needs to have someone with him at all times. I am pretty sure they must take shifts. This is not like a Hugh Hefner thing. Hugh is eating his pudding by 3pm and lights out by 6pm. This is so off the wall, so crazy that I don't know how anyone can keep up this pace for long. Yesterday Warner Brothers fired Charlie Sheen which of course just added another few news cycles to this craziness which means Charlie will of course have to respond which will of course keep him up for another three or four days. At this point Charlie must be running a continuous shuttle between South America and his place. He is a one man drug industry.

Charlie says he is going to confront Warner Brothers, went to a random roof with a machete, says he has plans for a stage show, he still has the trip to Haiti, his radio show, his webcast, interviews with anyone who asks, custody negotiations, finding more porn stars to replace the ones he is wearing out, and spending money like crazy. First, who carries a machete with him? Someone who sends texts like these. "Put yourself in my shoes for one warlock nanosecond. At some point there is nothing to say. Only war to wage … The winds are howling tonight. The gods are hungry. The beast is alive. And awake. And deadly." Is he Goser?

41 comments:

PotPourri said...

Poor dude. I get that he has ego to the Nth degree, but where is his check and balance?

Jessica said...

Over at TheDirty.com - there is a letter from someone in Sheen's camp that said he is doing Meth, and that those urine tests were faked with urine from those hanger-on's that are always around him.

Terri said...

Last nights "Sheen's Corner" was insane. I'm really concerned for his health and safety.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Everyday I wait for the news that he is dead.

Anonymous said...

Do not ask me how I know this, but you can buy fake urine at the head shops, it's about $50, and it does work. Drug tests don't mean diddly.

ms snarky said...

at first I was amused, now it's just sad and scary. There's probably only one, very sudden, ending to this story.

Anonymous said...

The video of the test shows them drawing blood. Maybe standard lab tests don't work on Tiger Blood?

BigMama said...

he has reached a level of nuttiness that passes anything Brittney ever did. It's like Brittney and Mel had a baby and it was Charlie Sheen. Except, that baby would at least be cuter.

hotchacha said...

Oh, I hope he IS Goser.

kris said...

Yeah, while I'm sad that his addiction has obviously gotten the best of him, I'm over it. I think he's gotten WAY too much attention as it is...

Katja said...

@BigMomma-lmao that is high-larious! Why haven't his family stopped him? Is he supporting them all?

looserdude said...

Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Charlie Sheen! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sheen that day, I can tell you!

BigMama said...

they can't stop him, he is out of the country. I imagine they are all more concerned with protecting the kids if they can. Still, I somehow picture Emilio somewhere saying "geez, how are we even related?"

kimmypie1 said...

who ARE these people he is seen with? I mean how deranged do you have to be to support someone like this? And I don't mean those trying to help him, I mean the guys seen with him in his machete video...the guy who he is on the phone with in one of his sheen's korners where he repeatedly tells him how brilliant he is etc.

mary said...

I can still believe it's not drugs and just manic. I had a friend who went totally manic for over a month. she only slept an hour a day, if that much, mind was constantly zooming, had all these grandiose ideas and if you didn't agree, you were nuts, didn't think anything was wrong with her, in fact she was great, the best thing ever, hyper sexual, got more and more paranoid as time and lack of sleep went on... it's very scarey and sad, you cannot reason with someone in that state.

penelope said...

not a goser or Gozer...IMO simply a goner.

nancer said...

i'd bet my left tit it's drugs. there's also no reason it can't be BOTH mania and drugs.
come on. this guy's clean? no way in hell.

Patty said...

I believe he is on meth. He looks like shit, lost his looks and looks at least 15 yrs older than he is.

RocketQueen said...

I think his career as an actor might be over, and he's veering into Gary Busey territory. Kind of this crazy guy who entertains people, but is a little too sketchy to trust on set anymore. He'll make money somehow (however Busey makes it?), I'm sure.

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Momster said...

He tweeted yesterday that he discovered Tulsa OK, in a dream, lol. Next time I drive thru Tulsa I can say, thanks, Charlie! Tigerblood!

__-__=__ said...

So it's not normal to have a machete right over there? Who knew! Note to self indeed!!

But, yeah, look at those fingers. Shades of Blohan, don't ya think?

BigMama said...

@looserdude- wow, I am totally impressed! My coworkers are impressed too since I just spit coke all over my desk.

chopchop said...

Did those drug tests he took and passed test for prescription drugs?

MadLyb said...

@Jessica - I've suspected the urine was someone else's, so I'm going to believe this is probably true. When people become manic they don't stay "up" for this long without crashing. I think this is a drug-fueled psychosis on top of the mania. The guy desperately needs help - he looks like he's going downhill fast physically. I mean, he looks like he's pushing 70 at this point.

nepenthe said...

I'd think with the Machete thing Martin Sheen could now have Charlie 5150'd as he's definately a danger to himself and others.

And let's hope Sean Penn is smart enough to not allow Charlie to go to Haiti with him....oh wait, he's too busy chasing ScarJo's pussy to know what's going on.

Hendrix said...

Agree with MadLyb....mania plus drugs...also if he starts to crash he will just up the drugs (cocaine and meth mimic the grandiose highs of a manic episode.)
What kills me is that the media is pretty much egging him on. (Oh, I guess that means us, too.) It's the reality TV syndrome. We are unconscioulsy all participating in the lionizing of destructive narcisistic, practically sociopathic personalities - from Charlie Sheen to Real Housewives to Jersey Shore.
He's a pretty tough guy; he might not die for a while. He probably already has some brain damage however...
...and the "Goddesses." They are in it for 2 things 1) money 2)fame and the ensuing possibility of more money with the fame. They are from the Reality TV generation where fame is all that matters; doesn't matter what you do to get it.

kathrynnova said...
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Anonymous said...

I'm almost (I said almost) inclined to think it's all for show. Who lets someone walk around with a machete??? He's got people around him and they let him have a machete? If I were stupid enough to be hanging around him, and suddenly he starts weilded a fucking machete, I'd be calling the cops. This is a guy that threatened to cut his ex-wife's head off. You don't give him sharp instruments.

Also his thumb is blocking the mouth of the bottle. To me, he's aware of the spectacle he's putting on. I'm calling bullshit.

Chrissy Buns said...

yes, he is obviously not drinking that whatever it is...i keep wondering exactly what IS in that bottle. who cares about dumb crazy Charlie Sheen, i wanna know what's in the bottle...

Robert said...

The label on the bottle says "Tiger Blood." So he's pretending to drink his own blood now? Or is that where he gets it in the first place?

amh.producer said...

On Perez (I know, I know) they were saying that the Live Nation peeps gave him the machete and told him to do his best Che Guevara impression and wave it around for the cameras.

RuRu69 said...

Is his thumb over the opening of the bottle? So he is fake drinking tiger blood. I want my damn machete back.

Robert said...

Maybe he HAD to block the bottle neck as this was for demonstration purposes only, and when he really drinks it, it becomes a "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Sheen" scenario.

Zeke Zzypt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
girltrav said...

@looserdude-I always love your comments. I choked on my lunch reading that!

Lolita Breckenridge said...

I believe he's on meth too. Look at faces of meth, then look at Charlie from last fall until now. Obvious, no?

Robert said...

Like somebody else said, Enty should put a little "Like" button on reader's comments ala facebook. looserdude would get mine every time.

shakey said...

I was quite shocked to see Charlie's appearance on tv. It's like he worsened almost overnight. I've got bad feelings about this. Good thing his kids were taken away. If his hangers-on are smart (which they aren't), they'd clear out pronto.

On Access Hollywood it was reported that his contract would be considered void if there was an incident of "moral turpitude", I.E. if a felon was committed. If that is true, why the HELL didn't Warner Bros. fire his ass when he got his slap on his wrist in Colorado???

enchantress said...

Seeing that what he's "drinking" actually looks like blood, I would guess a mix of corn syrup and red food coloring. He might be high, but who wants to drink pure (mostly) corn syrup? :))

Meg said...

@Sue Ellen - Me too! :-/

He likes to use the word Warlock....

:-/

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