Daily Charlie Sheen Recap
This can't go on for much longer can it? I can't keep up with it much longer. Think about this for a second. If you spent an hour a day or a little more in full concentration you might be able to read everything that has happened that day in the world of Charlie Sheen. An hour a day of reading. Think about how many things Charlie Sheen is doing each day for you to have to spend an hour a day just reading about it all. This is out of control. Yesterday in Charlie's world, he went on the air for the fourth straight night. It was all pretty much gibberish, but this quote gives you the general idea of what he was smoking.
"Now that I have your lazy f***ing attention world, sit back and rejoice. For the Malibu Messiah, the Condor of Calabasas, the f***ing warlock of the jealous face that is before you. Undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance. I beg you all to stay glued for this raving wise, Gibson shredding napalm poet before you. Alone and unshackled as the desperate cries of the soon forgotten echo freely in my lair."
Umm yeah.
He also called Jon Cryer a turncoat, told Life & Style that he is losing his mind. I think we all could see that for ourselves. Not really sure we need a tabloid to remind us of it or point it out. Roseanne Barr says she looks sane compared to Charlie Sheen. Hmm, I am going to call that one a tie for now. Other reports say that Charlie is cash poor. We3ll, yeah, if you are spending the average yearly salary of most workers on hookers for a couple of nights and doing more coke than every person in Miami did during the 80's, you are probably going to be cash poor. And in the show news, Chuck Lorre thinks Rob Lowe would be an interesting replacement. Yeah, I could see that. I don't know what else he can contribute to Parks & Recreation so I could see him going over to CBS and more money.
45 comments:
I can't see this ending well.
Sorry Enty, but I think Charlie has Roseanne beaten by a mile (of coke).
"Undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance"???
Charlie writes and speaks in Spamese. Can you see it? He totally reminds me of those e-mails you get that say stuff like "Coconut shovelcup ringtailed lemur road warrior scrotum blossom loving you next Wednesday."
I really believe that Jon Cryer did contact him but didn't bow down enough to Sheen's ego. Please pay him and let him slide away.
C'mon now, the guy has GOT to be amping up the colourful terms and language for the audience, hoping something sticks and he can put it on a t-shirt for sale.
On that note, mmmm hummus.
Not Rob Lowe. Would never watch that. James Spader or James VanderBeek. Yes.
I think Chuck wants Rob as another F U to Charlie since Rob grew up with Charlie and it would drive him even more insane.
I find it really disgusting that a) anyone still likes Charlie Sheen and b) that everyone seems so happy to watch this man have a fucking mental breakdown in front of the world.
This man is MENTALLY ILL. It's obvious that he's got some sort of disorder, be it bipolar or whatever. But we're just sitting around enjoying this as entertainment?
It's fucking sick. I refuse to be a part of this. He is disgusting, his children are going to suffer, and I find it utterly abhorrent that EVERYONE seems to be happy to continue to enable his behaviour.
I, for one, would appreciate never hearing the words CHARLIE SHEEN again.
I swear my first thought when I wake up in the morning lately has been 'wonder if Charlie Sheen died overnight?' I'm sure the only reason he hasn't been committed under the public safety laws is because they are afraid of his money and his lawyers. Hopefully Martin Sheen and the family will find a way to get him some help. He'll probably need a medically induced coma at this point to survive the detox.
rob lowe is the perfect sleaze for this. let's not forget his past..
Ha--I just read that Sheen called 2-1/2 Men a "slag pit of redundancy" and is relieved to be away from it. If it was that bad, the audience must be creepier than I imagined.
Where's the 5150?!? I can't believe no one's got one out on him yet.
In all honesty, if that was my loved one, I would have done it already.
I personally prefer James Spader. And can't the police arrest someone walking around with a machete?
Not EVERYONE. Local news (Los Angeles) was reporting yesterday that the tide is turning for Charlie and people are getting fed up.
It was shocking the first day or two, but now it's impossible to watch. I know the tabs will keep reporting this crap, hell, they're still talking about Lindsay and the stupid necklace.
Lots of us have a short attention span. Unless Charlie changes gears fast (like checking into rehab, joining a monastery, or driving down the 405in a while Bronco with a gun), he's already old news.
That quote sounds like that LA reporter that had a migraine on camera and starting speaking jibberish.
Personally, I don't care if this ends well. Seems like all of his kids (known and unknown) would be better off without him.
Amoteafloat: hilarious!!!! I can't believe his family hasn't intervened and had him locked up. He is a menace to society. Who knows what might happen when he starts coming down from his manic high? He has already been shown to be prone to violent acts.
Can anyone get to him? It sounds like he's always on the move and lives in such a gated community and fortress, he has to allow you access.
I saw an interview with Martin and Emilio last week and they were in England or Ireland. It may have been pre-taped, but it seemed current.
I vote James Spader. I need more Spader in my life.
Friday is 'unfollow Charlie Sheen' day, if anyone cares (according to the Village Voice).
@RQ, seriously. I would watch Spader read the phone book.
@sunnyside - I know, right??
I think they should just cancel the damn show and be done with it. I hope the poor kid (Angus?) on the show continues to work, I liked him. Hopefully he won't use Charlie as a role model, lol.
First, I am ROTFL at amoteafloat's stab at speaking Sheen-ese. Would love to get that on a t-shirt.
I also just love the idea of James Spader as a replacement. Good suggestion!
Ya need someone not that cute bad boy drugs a little jail thrown in--Russel Brand maybe? Nah I still wouldn't watch.
OMG so funny Amoteafloat!
The sad part is-when he dies, the media will treat it like "we saw it coming all along"-no you didn't, you contributed to it!
Sad to say Charlie Sheen was the first celebrity I ever met, and he was very kind.
That's it, no more Charlie speak, read, or hear from me.
@ amoteafloat - that was awesome, still LMAO!!!!
@FS - I agree completely.
Justin Bateman could replace Charlie on the show and increase viewership.
I would love to see Justin Bateman, John Stamos, or Rob Lowe replace Charlie Sheen and not as a new character, but as a recasting of Charlie Harper. The writing on that show was where the talent was, not on Sheen's acting. Bateman, Stamos, and Lowe can all act. There could be a few jokes the first episode about how great Charlie (Harper) looks and then just go on with the show as if none of this madness had happened. Having the show continue to be a success without Sheen would be Lorre's ultimate Fuck You to Sheen.
Thanks, guys. :-) But my parody totally pales in comparison to the real deal. Charlie REALLY DOES have an awesomely unique grasp on language. I mean, who would YOU rather hear speak for an hour straight? Charlie "the Condor of Calabasas" Sheen or Katie "Barley Milk is Amazing" Holmes?
He needs to lay off the blow and begin writing poetry. I'm serious.
@girltrav -- it makes me sort of sad that you met Charlie and he was really nice. It kind of proves how far he's fallen, because I'm sure he'd be more guarded/colder at this stage in his life. I'll never forget the celebrities I've met who seemed like cool, regular folks. At least you've got a positive story to remember.
Also, if he was really nice to you, I'll bet you're pretty cute. ;-)
@Miranda -- it IS sad that he's having such a massive bipolar freakout. I was deeply troubled when the same thign happened to Britney, for instance. But when Britney had HER meltdown, she didn't give a zillion interviews, refer to herself as a God among mortals, and wield a machete in public.
Just sayin.'
Last night's Sheen's Korner was the first one that was mildly entertaining and Charlie didn't appear totally out of his mind. But apparently it was the last episode.
Why replace Charlie's character on the show? Have him die from a heart attack while having sex. His will leaves everything to Jake. Instead of listening to Alan, Jake turns to Berta and Rose for advice. Grandma starts kissing up to Jake, but acts bitchy to his friends. Alan becomes the voice of reason, but gets no respect.
I hope this is the end of it. Between reading about him and listening to him and reporting about him on my website I spent two nights this week having dreams about the f**ker.
I'm not kidding.
Don't know if Rob Lowe will do it. He left "West Wing" after season 4 because he thought he was too good for it.
Same thing might happen here.
And Spader is kind of chunky these days. He must be at least in his late 50's.
Why do people keep asking why his family doesn't do something? What can they do? I have a friend whose father is literally a falling down drunk, and there is nothing she can do about it. Charlie's threats to his exes may be grounds enough to keep the kids away, but I doubt it's enough for a 5150. Does anyone really think he's going to physically harm himself or someone else? I mean, apart from an overdose? I don't.
The man definitely has a way with a phrase.
It might be funny to have different people fill in for the role. Every week you never know who you will get...Rob Lowe, James Spader, Jason Bateman, Emilio....any 80's film actor.
OMG Terri I love that idea!
Why not have Charlie disappear into a monastrey have him leave all his wordly goods to Jake. Have the other guy be Daddy Harper.
Mama Harper faked his death because he ran off with another woman. Have Daddy Harper be ( If his show gets the ax) William Shatner.
Enty, I think Charlie Sheen is doing meth, not coke. Both are manic but the affect is different. He just wants to say it's coke because coke is a higher class drug.
Amoteafloat - I was coming on to comment about those emails, too! Weren't they sent by $cientologists? I think I remember reading something about it. btw, he is a published poet. I think he does have poet's sensibility for words. I can picture old beatniks snapping their fingers after he says something so "profound".
I always thought Two and a Half Men was based on his life, or lifestyle. Justin Bateman is too clean-cut for this role.
I think this whole WINNING thing has run its course, and I'm sick of hearing my son say "DUH!" every other sentence. I imagine kids are talking about it at school.
Anyway, I have a BAD feeling when he comes down he will do something completely drastic and entirely public.
Oh and Nate F. - He's been in my dreams as well.
I liked the idea of Rob Lowe or John Stamos but I love, love, love the idea of Jason Bateman in the role of Charlie Harper.
I don't usually watch 2 and a Half Men because of CS but I'd watch it again to support Chuck Lorre & the rest of the cast.
Hollywierd. So many nutjobs, so little time.
NoseyParker - awesome idea although I would love to see James Spader or Jason Bateman on the show. No Rob Lowe please *shudder* They wouldn't have to have the new actor playing Charlie Harper; maybe they could have the newbie play the executor of Charlie's estate yanking the purse strings. Charlie's will (made while he was on a bender in Vegas) stipulates that Jake, Alan, Berta and Mom all get a forth of his sizeable estate if they can live under the same roof for a year. Evelyn keeps ordering Berta around like she's still hired help; Alan has to forcibly keep Berta from pounding Evelyn into a perfumed lump. And Jake... well Jake will continue to age for the next five years that the show is on, while the cast pretends it's still only one year in their lives.
You know it's bad when I start to agree with Dr. Drew (who said it's a drug induced psychosis, which is pretty much what I thought originally). at first, he sounded like he was doing just a big eff you to the media and he was being a huge narcissist but relatively coherent; this has seriously gotten to the point where it's sad and frightening and someone needs to care about this guy enough to get him some help and stop being a sycophant. and I feel guilty for being entertained the first two days.
Hush your mouth, Enty! Rob Lowe is lit-rally perfect on Parks & Rec. Don't mess with it!
Jon Cryer did a great job of holding his tongue for a long time. He was giving plenty of noncommital comments before this. In fact, I think he's held out longer than many of Charlie's supposed friends.
I do hope Charlie survives this trip he's on. I would hate for anyone's final words to be this kind of nonsensical garbage.
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