Friday, June 24, 2011

Jessica Simpson Stages Intervention For Ashlee Simpson - Gets Boyfriend Job


Star has been on fire this week. They really had enough good stories to last them about a month but they jammed them all into one issue. Because they had so many, this one kind of got pushed back a little, but when I read it, I decided it was the funniest story of the week. No, the fact that Jessica Simpson is staging an intervention for Ashlee is not funny, but even though I fully believe that Ashlee is drinking 10 bottles of wine by herself each week, I doubt Jessica really would stage an intervention. Although, it probably is not the wine she needs to be worried about. The funny part of the story is that to try and get Ashlee back on her feet, Jessica has told her boyfriend Eric Johnson to start helping Ashlee write songs for a new record. Seriously? That is the job you found for the guy? If you want to disguise this monthly allowance thing, you can do it a lot better than this. I am guessing he failed miserably at whatever tasks Jessica and Joe have given him previously so is now a songwriter?!?

Oh, and Jessica is helping too, but wants no credit. That is because when the album bombs Jessica wants to say she had nothing to do with it. I don't think Jessica ever wrote one song for any of her other records so why would she start now?

25 comments:

Christine said...

I love that Eric Johnson is helping to write songs for Ashlee. Next think you know, we'll hear that he is helping Obama to negotiate some treaties. Well, and then after that, he'll be so busy doing open heart surgeries that he will hardly have time to write children's books.

Patty said...

Christine, good one.

IF this is true, and that's a mighty big IF, it's confirmed that Jessica is absolutely and certifably delusional.

RocketQueen said...

Wait, what? Jessica herself can't write songs, but Eric can? And of all the business ventures Asslee has been involved in, singing was still better than acting, I guess. Though who will ever forget her appearance on SNL?
Ugh this trick. Why doesn't she figure something out for herself? I'm sure she's getting healthy child support and alimony from Pete, FIGURE IT OUT.

Ida Blankenship said...

I just came here to say that I like Ashlee's dress.

That's all.

blydon33 said...
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Tempestuous Grape said...

That's the cutest she's ever looked in my opinion. She reminds me of an amalgam of so many girls I've known just like her.

Dubs said...

Yeah I am sure the Yale graduate is too dumb to do anything else.

Dubs said...

Yeah I am sure the Yale graduate is too dumb to do anything else.

Ida Blankenship said...

@Dubs -- I can think of one super-stupid famous person who went to Yale. I'll give you a hint: his nickname sounds a lot like your user name.

Idiots are everywhere -- even in the Ivy League. And if Eric could toss a ball better than most people in high school, that's probably how he got accepted to Yale in the first place.

blydon33 said...
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RocketQueen said...

Also - he's not a Yale graduate. He's a Yale dropout, if I recall correctly.

Dubs said...

Wrong RocketQueen, he graduated in 2001

Dubs said...

@Ida
He was NOT anywhere near a prospect for football and he put in work once he got there.

He was also accepted and ready to go to Wharton for his MBA when he met her, the kid is smart.

Ask 90% of men if they would stop what they were doing to date Jessica Simpson for a few years and the answer will be yes.

RocketQueen said...

Sorry, my bad, you're right. It's Wharton's MBA program he dropped out of when he met Simpson. He'll always have Yale!

Ida Blankenship said...
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Ida Blankenship said...

@Dubs -- Wellllll...if Eric *is* so smart -- and *if* he did get into Wharton -- why hasn't he used his intellect and connections to land himself a GOOD JOB yet? Not using those degrees is kinda stupid, if you ask me. He wouldn't exactly have to toil in a corporate mailroom or anything.

And I'd say that 90% of men would feel a little inadequate if they did *nothing* but follow their famous girlfriends around like useless puppies for years on end -- but maybe I'm just thinking of the men I personally know.

timebob said...

he is a "life coach" and he calls people and tells them smart stuff so they will have a good life.

He's a helper, he really is.

And I know this one guy, he went to Yale University AND Harvard Business School.

And you know what he did with that education, he had over 5,000 soldiers killed in Iraq & Afghanistan.

Now if that isn't smart, what is?

Dubs said...

@Ida Well.....the man made millions of dollars playing football and was very into investing. How do you know that he wasn't very smart with his money and never has to work another day in his life?

My point is nobody really knows anything about the kid. He could be set for life as far as money goes.

Cocoa said...

I don't think any one knows for sure what Eric does..
He may just be smart enough to do something he doesn't have to punch a 9-5 clock...

Rose said...

He was just at a Yale reunion along with Cash Warren & Jessica Alba. I was dumbfound to learn Cash was a grad too. They must have a course there that teaches how to snag a rich woman.

Snakeoiler said...

I was really pissed off at my ex-wife this Reunion Weekend. For 20 years, I went to those damn reunions in New Haven, and the first time someone is there I wanted to see (Edward Norton is also on that cycle, but I never saw him), she went and divorced me.

Ida Blankenship said...

@snakeoiler -- my dad attended Yale with Meryl Streep, and I BEGGED to go along with him to his reunion -- and he didn't even go! I understand your frustration.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Poor Jessica. She is the only one holding that family together. (sarcasm)

Mooshki said...

Hey Enty, when you post about Asslee, instead of using a picture, you should use the video of her drunken exploits at Mickey D's.

Char said...

I really don't think Ashlee should sing. I also don't think she should act. Or do fashion. Or be any sort of spokesmodel/person. Sooooo.... yah. She should probably just fade into obscurity (still crossing my fingers!)