Saturday, June 02, 2012

Dina Lohan And Reality Shows


I know this is the weekend and that you are trying to relax and don't need much stress or drama in your life, but we need to talk. We really need to fix this once and for all. Dina Lohan on our television screens can't be allowed. So, you have to promise that after the first episode of whatever show she is on you will never watch it again. It is ok to watch the first episode because that way you can say you honestly saw it. Do you want Dina Lohan to have more fame? More camera time? Do you want to see her on the cover of tabloids when you are buying groceries for your family? Do you want to see her when you wake up in the morning and turn on your morning news show? I don't think so. Oh, and for those of you outside the US, this includes you. They show Kardashian shows all over the world. Do you want Dina Lohan to spread to your country too?


Dina is working on a show where she mentors Broadway hopefuls. Claiming to being a Rockette for five minutes gives you the qualifications to judge Broadway hopefuls because......????? Is there a big demand for a show like this? What does the winner get? A lifetime contract with Dina Lohan? Free tanner? Something from the Stolen Collection by Lindsay Lohan.

There is also the VH-1 ex-wives thing. I'm hoping she will get booted out of there for people who are way more interesting. She is not even the ex of someone that famous.

The final thing? Dina is trying to get on Millionaire Matchmaker. I know, I know, all men at the mixer should run as fast as they can, but Patti Stanger is going to lock the doors so the men can't get out. Sure, some of them will try to jump through the windows, but it's tough to get by the steel bars. before any of them leave, Dina gets to choose one victim. he will suffer the worst fate known to mankind. Yes, even worse than tonguing Verne Troyer. He will go on a date with Dina Lohan and it will be televised and recorded and avail;able for all to see until the day he dies. He will probably move and become a monk somewhere.

So, please make sure if you see any of these shows, do not watch them. Tell your friends to not watch them. Shame people at the water cooler at your office or on the street if you hear someone talking about them. Threaten to take your child out of school if any teachers watch them. These people are educating the kids of the world. You don't want them infected and then spreading the bug. The next thing you know they will be telling you that Bret Michaels only ever had sex with one woman a season on Rock Of Love.

29 comments:

MadLyb said...

"Tonguing Verne Troyer" is the last thing I wanted to have in my head first thing in the morning, LOL.

I won't even watch the first show, to be honest.

strawberrygirl said...

I promise to only watch re-runs.

Frufra said...

The photo is gold, enty, solid gold. Don't worry, I'll never ever ever watch. Team CDAN gotta stick together, yo.

nolachickee said...

Wow. Look at her parenting disasters. Now you want her to mentor Broadway hopefuls? Whomever I'm directing this question to, you have to either a)be on some serious shit or b)be really, really fucking stupid.

Don't worry, Enty. I'm not going near any garbage she's involved with.

anita_mark said...

"Dina is working on a show" means what exactly? Is it a done deal? I doubt it. It's probably one of those tricks her and others who want to be famous say (side eye to Courney Stodden). They make it seem like they're in demand so studios actually want them.

You know what would be hilarious? If she's hustling and trying to pitch this idea, it gets picked up but they cast it with people like Bebe Newirth and Alan Cummings. You know, qualified people. That would be gold!

EmEyeKay said...

Don't worry, I won't. Not even the first one. Agree, @Frufra, that pic is perfect!

auntliddy said...

Now here is someone I dont feel remotely sorry for. She will do anything, anything to be in public eye, at the cost of her childrens sanity. Literary. F*cking disgrace, her and her ex husband, 2 spawns from pits if hell. I put a curse on her !!!!! That she will someday be out if limelight , and hv to work for a living.
Wouldnt watch anything of hers, no worries.

SusanB said...

Perhaps we can find whoever put the voodoo curse on the Miami Zombie and get them to put one on this trick. THAT I'd pay to watch!

FS said...

I won't watch any of this shit, not even the first time.

chopchop said...

Enty, my dear, you do know this means you can't blog about it too?

lazyday603 said...

I'm impressed that she looks younger than her 25 year old daughter.

Rickatoo said...

thanks Lazyday, my sentiments exactly

Rickatoo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherry said...

She's so full sh*t. Just like all the time she claimed Lilo had a project. The best thing about pathalogical liars is everyone knows they're just talking smack. She has a talent for making herself look stupid and that is the only talent she has. Rockette my eye!

ergterana said...

I've the same advice for Toddlers and Tiaras, 16 and pregnant, and any spin-offs.

canadachick said...

the only reality show i want to see and will watch Dina Lohan on is one i like to call Fame Whore Island - where all the fame whores get shipped to live together with no escape - freeing the rest of society from their douchieness :D

anita_mark said...

@Canadachick, I'd watch that.

timebob said...

I guess she couldn't get the Today Show to pay for her appearances anymore.

Unknown said...

A new spin on I'm a Celebrity Get Me out of Here---all the fame whores are gathered together and once you are chosen to leave, your torch goes out--- and that's it--there goes any hope of a future career.

Iwinjen said...

I can now officially say I snorted ice tea through my nose. I was taking a sip as this page loaded. This is her best photo EEEVVVEEERRR!

Iwinjen said...

I can now officially say I snorted ice tea through my nose. I was taking a sip as this page loaded. This is her best photo EEEVVVEEERRR!

parissucksliterally said...

I fucking DETEST this woman. Whoever cast her in anything needs to be fucking shot.

auntliddy said...

Yes, but I'm not impressed the 25 yr old looks like her mother!!

anongkhla said...

Hilarious picture choice is hilarious.

Not watching this will be no hardship. The last reality show I bothered with was Amazing Race and even that finally got on my nerves a few years ago, haven't missed any of them since. Although people I live with love all the Kardashian bullshit, so it's on in the background far more than I like. Usually I'm muttering darkly about what complete bullshit it is within about twenty seconds when I'm stuck listening to it. Can't wait till their fifteen minutes are finally over (though it'll just mean there'll be someone else just as annoying to take their place.)

cricket said...

Never had any intention of watching any of them. Not even the first episode. Reality TV is the downfall of humanity. People would kill their mothers for a chance to get on a reality show. Too bad that's not how Brisket Palin got hers.

Comma Chaser said...

Fart Smelling Dina deserves a place in the pantheon alongside Braying Donkey Kim, in terms of photos that are nuclear in their capacity to keep on giving.

That said, no problem on avoiding her show - the only thing I watch on E is The Soup (I'm assuming this is where DiLo's show would end up). If she winds up on Millionaire Matchmaker, I'd take time out of my busy laundry folding schedule to watch Patti rip her a new one. She's pretty consistent with taking the self-entitled down a peg or two on that show, if they deserve it.

deree said...

Her face sums up my feelings completely about her,any reality shows on the horizon featuring her... Dafaq?????

The woman is WORTHLESS!

hunter said...

Hilarious picture IS hilarious!!! I would also want to see Patti tear Dina a new a-hole, that would be killer.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Dina LIED about being a Rockette. Shocker, I know. Radio City confirmed that there was no record of her ever being a Rockette.

I'd watch the show if the Broadway hopefuls were allowed to make comments on her shitty parenting.
This show is going to be called DramaMamas. Do we really need another show like this?