Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Justin Bieber Is Now Justin Johnson


In a 911 call to police reporting that paps were following him, Justin Bieber referred to himself as Justin Johnson. Think about this for a second. You are a celebrity and are calling to say there are paps following you on the highway and making it unsafe. So, naturally the dispatcher on the other end of the call is going to wonder who is so famous they are being pursued all over the highway and you say Justin Johnson. At that point the dispatcher is going to take you way less seriously because can you think of anyone named Justin Johnson who would be followed? No. I don't get it. Is he ashamed to be a Bieber? Does he like Justin Johnson because it makes him sound like Jack Johnson and people will take his music more seriously. Does he wish he had a big Johnson? OK, maybe that is going too far. You know when he got pulled over for going 100 and endangering all the people around him? Do you think maybe if he had gone 65 which is the speed limit, the paps would have also gone 65? I still don't get why they were following him so aggressively and why he was trying to shake them. Yeah, are you thinking what I'm thinking? He was late for a nooner. It was about 10:45 and with traffic and parking. Yeah, I could see him rolling into a hotel a little before noon. Get a room. Practice talking deeper. Yeah, that makes sense to me. A nooner with someone not named Selena Gomez.

25 comments:

rejectedcarebear said...

Can't wait for him to be as irrelevant as the jonas brothers

Frufra said...

Just goes to show you this kid doesn't have the good judgement to be in charge of himself. He's still just a kid, and I'm thinking he's much less mature that regular folks his age (18, 19? Don't care enough to look it up).

Hasn't he been the breadwinner since he was 14 or 15 ( again, too apathetic to get real numbers)? That'll mess with your head. Couple that with sudden fame, tons of cash, and throngs of girls tossing their panties, and you've got a real potential Michael Jackson-style arrested development thing going on.

figgy said...

Kids that age are stooopid. Bieber's just being a kid in the spotlight.

I shudder to think of my 17 year old stepson with money and the freedom to do whatever he wanted. OMG.

Cathy said...

If he really didn't want to be followed, he wouldn't be driving around in that all-chrome monstrosity that's about as subtle as Liberace.

hunter said...

I suspect he just had a brain fart. Isn't he barely 18 or something? Not so unusual.

Trey said...

Such a little punk

anita_mark said...

*stares in disbelief*
Really? Because maybe saying, "I'm Justin Bieber" would cause some people to hang up. Just a theory.

Mischievous Angel said...

I know Justin Johnson. You are no Justin Johnson.

billybob said...

Yeah, as Cathy said. He should have been driving something more subdued than that Sceino spaceship. And my fingers are also crossed that he’ll go the way of the Jonas creeps.

dia papaya said...

He looks like such a little boy in that pic. I know those cars sit low but he looks barely old enough for a sippy cup let alone that amazing car. He is too young to have that car.... Please send it to me and I will gladly take of it until you are old enough to see out the window :)

Chad Sexington said...

He should google Leif Garrett (however you spell it).

Dishtlk said...

Totally agree with Cathy and BillyBob, in LA you could blend in pretty easily in a pretty sick mercedes or Range Rover... I can even understand him wanting the car for his collection to roll around in sometimes with his buddies, but that sticks out like a sore thumb.

That said I tried to resist it but I like the kid... and from a lot of accounts he's pretty cool. Although the diva stories are starting to be a little more regular... ugh. So coflicted. What I do know if that Boyfriend tune is damn catchy!

PS - lol at the Liberace comment!

skeeball said...

If you listen to the 911 tape, you can hear what a conceited little dick this kid is!!!!!!!!! he was astounded that the 911 operator didnt know what kind a car a fisker is, he spells it for her!!! asswipe!!

Sylvia said...

I've never heard of a fisker either.

mngddess said...

@dis papaya - I don't ever think he looks like a little boy. A little girl, yes.

His ego is so huge at this point it's a wonder he can hold his head up.

anita_mark said...

Yeah, I don't know what a fisker is either. It sounds like a sex thing that I don't want to know about.

Sallie Murphy said...

I think he was really polite with the 911 operator, called her ma'am, he could have been way more of a brat and he wasn't... I don't really understand why people are so hard on the kid. When he's 25 he will probably not drive a car like that around.. but he's 18. What would you have driven at 18 if you could choose any car in the world.

Redheat said...

A fisker sounds like something you should lance.

I can see where divulging your name if a celeb could cause some "uh huh, sure you are" then again it's LA. It does seem odd that he would call 911 for a so called EMERGENCY due to paps chasing him, and not use his actual name. That would seem a bit more suspect then saying you are the biebs.

Sallie Murphy said...

chp told him to call 911 if they were still on him.

Rose said...

It sounds like a porn name.

Texshan said...

I can't stand this brat. I wish I could slap that annoying little face. Plus, Justin is really a 14 year-old girl. Look at that face!

Even if he is a boy, he is the youngest-looking 17 or 18 year-old I have ever seen in my life. I'll bet he's on hormone suppressors so he doesn't go through puberty and lose all of his fans. I am seriously not even kidding about that last part.

*girl said...

Really? Because I thought the same thing yet I want to know exactly what it is!

kpist said...

Definitely wishes he had a big johnson - johnson

Another Josh said...

Give the kid a break. He's doing his best to deal with all of the problems that inevitably come with fame.

0_0 said...

He doesn't have a lot of life experience (um, how do I identify my car? er-) but he makes some stupid moves that being young doesn't excuse.