Thursday, September 13, 2012

Levi Johnston Named His Daughter After A Gun And A Sex Abbreviation


We all knew that Levi Johnston was going to name his daughter after a gun. Apparently his girlfriend somehow talked him into only making it a middle name. Tougher to sell the naming rights to Beretta that way, but they are going to try. Probably will get her tattooed with the company logo in just a matter of days. Hope they get the money first. So, Breeze Beretta Johnston. Otherwise known as BBJ. Hey, she can always have a career on Craigslist then. You always want to have a trade. Something you can fall back on in hard times.

46 comments:

auntliddy said...

this, here, is why you should need a license to reproduce.

IDoTheRobot said...

Complete fucking idiot.

RenoBlondee said...

Good god.

nolachickee said...

Someone needs to make him a full body condom suit and mandate that he wears it 24/7, 365. This ass wipe cannot be able to continue to breed.

MISCH said...

moron

discoflux said...

Are we living in the interim time of Idiocracy? Is this what was happening while Joe & Rita slept?

"The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections."

IDoTheRobot said...

@disco that is one of my favorite movies ever. It's so true!

rejectedcarebear said...

I'm gonna name my kid Beef Supreme.

jane3113 said...

Once you see the movie Idiocracy. you see signs of the impending Idiocracy all around you. "Ow My Balls" is essentially "Wipeout."

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to see if Starbucks sells Hand Jobs yet.

dia papaya said...

LOL Carebear!

Disco I LOVE that film! And I think it's safe to assume that Joe & Rita are off sleeping. The end of the modern thinking age as we know it.

But I gotta ask... Is this an Alaska thing? I mean as a state it's known for lumberjacks and extreme fishermen, not Rhodes scholars. *please find the snark here. Alaska is a beautiful state*

Unknown said...

Breeze? Is this an Alaska thing? I seriously am asking this, I don't know - I like the name Willow, but Trip and Trig and whatever else? Now Breeze? Is this family just the Jamie Oliver of Alaska, or is this common practice up there?

bobbi_1025 said...

It's not just Alaska. I live in Florida and know a few people who have given their kids names from guns and crap. One couple named their kid Tebow and another named their son Remmington Gauge. There are dumbass rednecks everywhere.

Agent**It said...

Passive Eugenics. Margaret Sanger's favorite subject. (Sanger is one of Hillary's heroines).

BreeB714 said...

Levi and Sunny have a Breeze, what a Tripp

Unknown said...

@bobbi: TEBOW? Holy Shit. He's not even good!!

hunter said...

It is amazing that I have managed not to get accidentally pregnant my whole rich lifetime of 36 years.

JUST SO AMAZING - HOW DO I DO IT?!?!?!?

Del Riser said...

Another instance where the dumb runs deep, and now they've bred and the roots go a little deeper.
They could have named her Parabellum Baretta and she could at least be a PB and J. Or Pistol hahahahaha.

Roman Holiday said...

Whatever happened to John or Joseph or George? Heck Todd even sounds normal now! Someone I know loves Tom Brady and named their kid Brady! It's not that bad but still would not want some stupid name!! Although I have a regular name and I don't think it is all that great - not enough umph!!! Ah I don't know what the hell I like:)

selenakyle said...

IDIOCRACY.

discoflux said...

"Your children are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr. - Fuck you, I'm eating."

My best friend's wife got soooooo irritated with us because we would have entire conversation in nothing but idiocracy quotes.

discoflux said...

*conversations

Stacey Charter said...

The way some peeps name the kids has always fascinated me.One of my seemingly very normal not redneck acquaintances named their baby "Roman Danger" - Yes... so he can grow up saying "Danger is my middle name". Then there's the guy i know who is a huge Dallas Cowboy's fan (don't get this philly girl started) his kids?? Dallas & Landry.

curlyhairslacker said...

@hunter, I was *just* saying that the other day to my friend. Just found out my cousin (23 yrs old, minimum wage job, no college ed, not with the daddy) is having a baby and she's SO exicted. Seriously, I'm glad she's excited but I have a full time job & a degree-granted that doesnt seem to mean much anymore-and I'm irritated at the price of litter boxes! Sorry, I just dont get how people can be so nonchalant about bringing a baby into the world without having some sort of plan.

Also, I work at the safety net hospital in our state. 2 of my favorite names: Damanasty & Tupacalypse. No shit.

rejectedcarebear said...

Hey now I love the name brady but I am biased (its my nephews namme) but his mom wanted to name him Brett after you know who. That got shot down.

Michelle said...

Levi Johnston (while I am not a fan of his) does not corner the market on bizarre baby names; celebrities often give their kids weird moniker's that could give them complexes: Banjo, Bronx Mowgli, Pilot Inspektor, Blanket, Apple, Moxie Crimefighter...

PugsterMom said...

Good one!

PugsterMom said...

I know a couple that named their newborn Exodus. Just put a freaking "kick me" sign on the poor kid.

Tuxedo Cat said...

@curlyhairslacker OMG thanks for posting the names, that is too much!

Tuxedo Cat said...

Wow - terrible name for the baby, even more terrible initials... Breeze is kind of cute, that part could have been worse. I think Levi J. plays too much Call of Doody.

g.strathmore said...

There was a military couple who had a baby girl while the husband was deployed in Iraq during Operation Desert Storm. They named their daughter, Desiree Stormee. No lie.

Lalaay said...

I've met so many people with weird names, lucky-girl and Nostradamus were the stand outs. I appreciate a good story behind a crazy name but sometimes the parents just get carried away.

Lauren said...

First off, I know two people with the name Breeze. Its not that ridiculous. And I like the name Beretta as a middle name. Its not like people will be calling her that. Its only when a baby is BORN that people even CARE about a persons middle name. I think its cruel to insult a child's name. Its over and done with, and these kids have to grow up with it. We want our kids not to bully each other, but comments about names and insults are exactly that.

Jeneral said...

Ignorance is bliss. She's not smart enough to realize how terrified she should be.

Laura said...

My youngest daughter is named Brielle and Everyone calls her Breezy. It seriously makes me laugh when all the parents yell " Go Breezy" during soccer games. My Brother told me I had better put a stop to it before High School as the rhyming taunt may not be so great.

Sherry said...

@curlyhairslacker: OMG! Too much although I knew a family whose children were named Crickett and Sparky or something like that. Breeze seems pretty hippy dippy to me so maybe it DOES fit with AK.

Still think Vagelita was the best one evah!

Noetje said...

There is a boy here called Papillon Eagle-Eye Rainbow. I compare every name to that one and so far none have been able to live up to it. It's the worst...

auntliddy said...

Do these attention whires ever think about the child before they saddle them with numbnutz name? Get a pet and gv it a funny name; not your children!

HalleGoLightly said...

EXTRA BIG ASS TACO!

Carl's Jr: FUCK YOU, I'M EATING!

bobbi_1025 said...

Talking about names, I forgot I used to work with a girl named Windy Sunshine.

rejectedcarebear said...

Love love all the Idiocracy quotes. Gonna have to watch it tonight, its such a hilarious movie.

g.strathmore said...

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

astrogirl said...

That US swimmer still kills it for me, especially since she became famous poor little Mysty Hymen....

astrogirl said...

Bad grammar sorry, should be especially because she became famous..

alliwholovessomuch said...

banjo isn't weird if ur aussie lol ;)

Maja. With a J. said...

MOXIE CRIMEFIGHTER IS AN AWESOME NAME. *stern look*

astrogirl said...

Moxie is a brand of tampons and pads here Maja there is a song about being a moxie girl, it's kind of cute.