Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

Normally at this time on Sunday mornings I would bring you the best of SNL from the night before, but I didn't think any clips were all that worthy. Plus, with the holidays approaching, I thought this article from Deadspin is way more relevant and funnier than anything SNL attempted to show yesterday. Basically, one reporter has gone through the entire Williams-Sonoma catalog and commented on it. Here is what he had to say about the $40 Bourbon Cranberry Relish. To read all of it click here, but please be alone when you do so because you will scare everyone with how hard you are laughing.


Item #02-496059 Bourbon Cranberry Relish

Full size


Williams-Sonoma says: "Sauteed cranberries, bourbon, shallots and herb with a hint of orange. 16oz."

Price: $40

Notes from Drew: That's 40 bucks for a bowl of cranberry sauce that everyone will pass up because we all prefer the s**t that costs two bucks and comes plopping out of the can in the shape of the can. The second ingredient is LEAD. For 40 bucks, you should get the bourbon on its own.

19 comments:

CarmeliteLady said...

So true! No one goes for the homemade fancy organic cranberry/orange peel stuff that took five hours to simmer. It's the can shaped one every time. I love slicing the canned cranberry sauce like it's a little loaf of bread so that everyone can take a slice easily and plunk it on their plate. No more hacking off little pieces and watching it slip off the fork onto the nice company tablecloth.

DrunkenBlogger said...

Oh, thank you, Enty! My SIL is a W/S addict and would probably buy everything on that list. Even leaded bourbon, just because it came from W/S.

(On the plus side - whatever she doesn't end up liking, she gives to me. I adore my heavy W/S measuring cups!)

PugsterMom said...

Ok that made me laugh out loud as I'm surrounded by a bunch of people outside Starbucks. Thanks for the giggle.

Stacey Charter said...

Sooo loved this!

Sherry said...

OMG. Not sure what was funnier, the website or the comments to it. That was the perfect Sunday morning distraction to go with "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me".

Cee Kay said...

Eh. I read the whole thing, and it really wasn't funny. The writer definitely isn't SW's target market; I don't really know anybody who is, but I'd sure like to be!

Vera L- said...

Artisinal Meth. That made my day!

smash said...

Where are those g*d damn potato gloves!! That made me giggle.

timebob said...

I love the last one buying a co- worker a box of fancy candy and then keeping it for myself and they get nothing. OMG how many times have I done that, sooo many times, this made my cranky day.

misspeg86 said...

Definitely worth the read. I thought that guy was funny and witty not to mention the ridiculous products that are available...like the $72 cookies...seriously?!

Jessi said...

Loved it! Thank you for the laugh.

Cornbread said...

"Where else would I put my dirty European cheese?"

Man, that was a good laugh. I've always thought 80% of that catalog is pretentious nonsense...at least I'm not alone.

Mooshki said...

He gets lots of bonus points for using the word "behooves."

Mooshki said...

OMG, dying.

"Do they brew artisanal meth?"

Lelaina Pierce said...

Crying from laughing so hard. I do own an ebelskiver pan but I got mine at a yard sale. ;)

This kind of reminded me of Catalog Living.

Sherry said...

Too funny! That Waffle batter dispenser looks like it would be a huge pain to clean.

Amartel said...

Genius.

Veech said...

I work at William Sonoma as my parttime job. I have to sell those potato gloves.

Trashaddict said...

I loved it. Said everything I've ever thought about this shit. Now please do this for some of the other catalogues.
Veech, my sympathies. I regularly find it necessary to apologize to cashiers for the ridiculous scripts their employers make them recite. Perhaps the FTC should require holding up a card (at Williams Sonoma it would be done in tasteful font, of course) saying "This is Advertising"....Can you imagine if movie subtitles had to do that for product placement????