Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Jessica Biel Is Delusional

Apparently even though the entire world thinks Jessica Biel is a truly awful actress, you might be surprised that she does not feel that way. I mean she does have a point in that she convinced Justin Timberlake to marry her, but one bad actor to another...Anyway, Jessica thinks she is great and thought that she was going to land Anne Hathaway's role in Les Miserables. Honestly, she really felt that way. Does she sing? I think her reps are enabling her and need to tell her that she needs to go the Jessica Alba route. Find one character in an action movie ensemble cast where you don't have to do much except look good and cash big checks and in the meantime try and find something you like to do when that role disappears and come back in 20 years to start filming some cameos before you play the role of a mom on a sitcom or independent movies. Oh, Jessica also thought she would get the role of Catwoman. Probably not as big of a stretch, but when you audition against people who can act, it is tough to win a role. There is always the infomercial route too.

51 comments:

Ari said...

she has a really cute face and her body is amazing, but my goodness she has no depth...maybe in real life she's a nice person?

ZORBITOR said...

She could easily do a Mariska Hargitay on a police procedural show.

Me said...

^^ really? the face is not so cute to me. i dislike her for some reason. just find her annoying. and i can't think of anything i've ever seen her act in(???).

MadLyb said...

So in other words, Anne Hathaway is stealing all her parts! Sadly, even though she's attractive, she doesn't have much charisma.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Love the Jessica Alba reference!
Also, no to me Jessica Biel looks like a horse.
Every "star" named Jessica needs to disappear because I feel like they have no talent.. Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson.. Disappear!!

Jason said...

If Anne Hathaway ever goes missing, I'm just going to assume Biel is responsible.

Jolene Jolene said...

Totally agree with ZORBITOR. She needs to do television. Anything really, I'm sure some network would hire her to do something. But she is convinced that she's a movie star. I cannot stand her. She's like watching paint dry.

Jolene Jolene said...

@Caitlin--Bite your tongue! Jessica Lange is AWESOME!

greenmountaingal said...

I like Jessica Biel. She's not the world's greatest actress, but she's not that bad, either. She was good in Chuck & Larry (one of my favorites). Is Anne Hathaway really that good? I didn't like her as Catwoman & am sick of her Fantine schtick. To each her own, I suppose.

Sara said...

she was in The Illusionist with Edward Norton. she needs new agent.... also... she is 30 now... Age for some actress is dificult

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Ohh! Good point! I didn't even think of her!! LOVE her!
I retract my previous statement and change it to.. Any star named Jessica under 35 haha

Harvey Manfrenjensen said...

Who told her she can act? She can do herself pretty well and act relatively natural in front of a camera. I thought she did an ok job in that Adam Sandler movie where she's the love interest. I think he was pretending he was gay?
She does have an amazing body, a very pretty face, and a brain. She's also not a filthy bimbo prostitute like some people (not naming any names, but I'm looking at you Paris, Linds, and Kim). She really COULD go back to doing light television. A sitcom perhaps? She's good at being the "Oh REALLY?" straight person/girl. Just no way can she handle a movie, she's a basic normalish person and we go to movies to see larger than life personalities doing exciting things. She's just too blah. Now if she let her (alleged)lesbianism out she'd have a ton more roles. And be so much more exciting, edgy and interesting. Remember what that did for Angie's career? She said she'd had a lesbian relationship and boom! Became the biggest female star on the planet. I know it was alot of other things but it lends a certain cache' and fascination by the public when pretty women are bi or lesbians.

LottaColada said...

Everyone agrees she should go back to TV bit I think her ego is a little to high for that. Remember that ridiculous pant suit/pajama outfit she wrote to the Hitchcock premiere? She made a fool of herself and she doesn't even know it.

Sarah said...

I read an article a couple of years ago where she actually said she was always up against Anne and Scarlett for roles, like she thought they could have really been hers for the taking.

S.joy said...

I neither like her nor dislike her... because there's really nothing to like or dislike. I def think this is a horrible pic of her though.... sheesh

All about Eve said...

Jessica used to be cute once upon a time but I really think Justin took it! I really started to dislike her when she started dating him, not jealous because I don't like him but I think her personality has changed and her face too IMHO. Her acting is not good at all! Maybe TV is the way to go for her. And while her agents are being honest with her about her acting skills can they have a talk with Justin too? It's just painful to watch him try to act.

kelly said...

I thought she was pretty darned good in The Illusionist.

She's not good at romantic comedy or these light cutesy roles though.

Maybe a gritty HBO historical series where she plays against type. Bring back DEADWOOD . . .

Elizabeth said...

Anne Hathaway gets dissed on here all the time, which I find puzzling. I think she's incredibly talented and will likely get an Oscar for Les Miz. The director said her audition was one of the best he's ever seen. I saw Jessica Biel in Total Redux. She was...not great. I don't hate her but come on. She and Anne Hathaway are not on the same planet and when everyone sees Hathaway's performance, they are going to openly ridicule Biel for thinking otherwise.

O'Really said...

I do not find her attractive at all, especially in this photo. She's so very blah and her conceit just pisses me off.

Christopher Cruz said...

No.

Christopher Cruz said...

SUUUURE, an A list ensemble cast- Biel wouldn't have stood out like dogs balls at ALL.

Jolene Jolene said...

Hahaha, okay Caitlin. We're not fighting anymore. :) J. Lange is so freaking good in American Horror Story I can't take it.

I reallyyyy don't understand why people thought Biel was good in The Illusionist. Gahhhh that ACCENT she tried to put on. Awful.

Jolene Jolene said...

"wouldn't have stood out like dogs balls" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA...that was hilarious.

MISCH said...

I find her sexless totally androgynous

Hazeldazel said...

Biel and Aniston are exactly the same - sucktastic at movies but would be super A+ in television. But for whatever reason, they stick at trying to do movies and it's putting their careers' in the toilet.

Elizabeth said...

Just try to picture Biel singing "At the End of the Day" with Hugh Jackman and cast. Just imagine her trying to do the death scene with Jackman. It's laughable.

Sasha said...

Lainey is always slamming her and it is pretty funny.

canadachick said...

Yup some people need to know its better to be big fish in a small pond (TV) then trying to be a guppie in a big pond (movies)

**gives Jennifer Ansiton the side eye**

katsm0711 said...

I'm not saying I think Enty should stop posting Jessica Beil stories, bc people obviously enjoy them, but after everything I read, I now find her so boring that I don't even enjoy making fun of her anymore. She's now on my list of "don't read"

Vkn said...

I totally forgot she was married to Justin Timberlake. That's pretty bad.

T. E. Cuz said...

hi jess, i'm like your only fan here, it looks like!

+10000 pts for getting rid of the bangs.

PotPourri said...

When actors and actresses know their place in Hollywood role-dom...they can make a KILLING! But idiots like this have no clue. She's not really attractive to me. Her features are so masculine, but not in the Hillary Swank way, just guy-ish.

Brooke said...

I can't stand Anne Hathaway (she has always seemed SO fake to me no matter whether she's playing a role or just being herself *coughOSCARScough*), but Jessica Biel is just awful. She has absolutely NO personality, how does someone like that become a famous actress? My opinion is that she rode the tails of her (mostly adolescent male) tween cult following from 7th Heaven as far as they could ever go. She needs to just fade away. You married Justin Timberlake--great for you! He's boring and talentless now just like you. Well done!

Aoife said...

I think Biel might find a niche on network television. Cable television has stepped up its game. Would she work in a show like "Justified"? "Boardwalk Empire"? "Homeland"? "Sons of Anarchy"?
And these shows are forcing the networks to step out of their comfort zone in terms of casting and in acting demands. Shows like "Chicago Fire" are going to become the new normal for TV drama. I don't watch sitcoms except for "Modern Family" and she'd stick out like, well, as someone said "dogs balls" in that kind of ensemble.

Maybe one of those totally non comedic CBS comedies (leaving out HIMYM which was funny at times).

dia papaya said...

Chris Cruz - share some deets!

Sarah said...

Jessica is not funny, I could see her in a drama, something sort of tough. Cop drama, CSI, Walking Dead, something with action. She has that pretty tough girl look

Lauren Eaker said...

She's great in action-y roles. I thought she was AWESOME in Blade: Trinity. She's a yawn, otherwise.

crila16 said...

I agree Ari. She has a cute face and an awesome body. That's where it ends though.

She is one of the most painful actresses to watch on screen. She's ordinary and an awful actress. Les Miz...seriously??? Wow. Delusional is right. Cat Woman...yes, if you wanted to watch the most boring cat woman in the world, who looked phenominal in a cat suit.

FalseProfit said...

Her IMDB reads like a list of what NOT to do. I wonder who she slept with to vecome an acress, or if her parents are loaded.

Mango said...

@ Elizabeth - Anne Hathaway gets dissed here because she's a first class bitch. She's so up her own ass I don't know if we'll be able to hear her Oscar acceptance speech if she wins, it'll be so muffled. After her Les Miz audition she crowed about how she knew she nailed it:

"I knew that someone was going to have to go in there and do something pretty special to unseat me," she said of feeling incredibly confident after her three-hour audition. "Sometimes you leave a room and you feel like maybe you’ve left the door open a crack. This time, I knew that I had slammed it shut behind me."
She can play Catwoman and Fantine, but she can't play humble.

There's also stories about her treating people and crew much like Meryl Streep treated her character in "Prada" - and again, she's too much up her own ass to recognize her behavior.

Animor said...

What about Carmen Electra?

ABlake said...

Is she the Amy Adams to Anne's Alba?

She bought her own press when she was on 7th Heaven and blew that whole deal with her Playboy spread. Kind of shocked she's still around, though she did confirm (to me at least) that Timberlake is an idiot.

ABlake said...

BTW, she owes me the 2 dollars I spent on her Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.
She also owes me 1 hour and 14 minutes of my life back.

just curious said...

I'm sucker for any woman with cheekbones or dimples.Plus,she has a nice ass for a yt girl.

Unknown said...

She acted like Justin was straight..she should get an academy award.

auntliddy said...

Love anne hathaway. Biel is delusional if she thinks she has anywhere near the talent of hathaway. Shes as wooden as they come, and she does hv a face like a monkey! She wasnt even good in 7th heaven!! And it was all downhill from there. She is as interesting as sawdust.

Henriette said...

Has anyone seen the movie where she plays a stripper? The stripper pole had more range! God, she was AWFUL. I was surprised at how bad she was. It wasn't even a fun bad like Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.

nudibelle said...

So the blind from abt two months ago abt an actress and her nemesis is jessica and Anne taking her roles...

nightowl said...

Am I the only one who thinks she is just unattractive?

cowbulls said...

I’ve seen her in several movies and she was as good as most actresses. Her scene with Freddie Prince Jr. in Summer Catch when she was in the red bikini is iconic. She seems to be a regular woman who just happens to have one of the most spectacular bodies in history.

katsm0711 said...

@cow I don't think I've seen a single of her movies, but holy hell the girl should walk around in a bikini 24/7 and be constantly photographed from behind. Breathtaking. Ever since I saw this one pic of her half in te ocean I'm convinced she should be a lingerie or swimsuit model bc it doesn't require speaking. The girl is HOT with a smoking hot body but unfortunate hair at the moment.