Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Lindsay Lohan Arraignment Today - Yawn

Today is the day that Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned on three criminal charges and have her probation yanked and today is also the day that nothing will happen to Lindsay. When she gets back from Europe she will turn herself in and get bailed out immediately after she adds another mugshot to her collection. Then we will sit here for a month or two waiting for the hearing to determine whether she will go to jail and she won't go to jail or will get such a minimal amount of time that it will seem like she didn't go to jail. This whole process will though provide continued employment for everyone who works in the legal community. Someone come wake me up when Lindsay does actual jail time. You know, like a good six months solid where we don't hear from her or see her and the only time we say the word Lohan is in the context of, "I wonder what happened to her."

76 comments:

mikey said...

She's aged before our eyes.

Lily Pannella said...

Where is the judge that locked up Paris Hilton? They need to get on this case STAT.

Amber said...

Blah so I read about this this morning. The judge that's been assigned to her doesn't believe in jail. She basically believes in therapy/behavior mod, and gives her cases little gifts and crap for making progress.

Shit You Can't Buy said...

Funny how no one in the legal system seems to realize that going to jail could be the only thing that can save Lindsay. Now she just continues screwing up, she will die and everyone will say 'omgggg why didn't anyone help her?' Right now it's getting sued and getting out of it, how is that helping?
Since she is broke (so can't bribe anyone) she should just go to jail -.- Or mandatory rehab, with drugtesting regularly, and when she fails no whiny punishment like sweeping floors, straight back to prison! Yes this will cost a lot of money, but what about thw 35893859839853 lawsuits she has per year? Think they cost more, and there will be more since she doesn't change and is surrounded by enablers like poppa and momma Crackho.

MISCH said...

nothing will help this bitch because she thinks theres nothing wrong

surfer said...

I read that too, Amber.


Hopefully the judge will take a different tack this time, because, you know, therapy has worked so well for her in the past.

dia papaya said...

OMG! Look at her face! It's 50 Shades of Lohan, tanning gel extraordinaire!

rejectedcarebear said...

Ent- let's start off 2013 the right way: a LL ban. For a month, then maybe we can expand it further.

dia papaya said...

Yes Carebear! That would be the best present!

And no Kuntrashians, either.

Tuxedo Cat said...

Hopefully there is a judge with wisdom that will be able to see that a long sentence will save her life.

ReesesPeace said...

Sigh...I'm 50 today and I look younger than this trick!

I am off to get my very first tattoo...have a drink, a toke, some cake for my birthday celebration! I feel lucky and grateful to be alive! Much love and peace! <3

Christopher Cruz said...

Happy Birthday!!!

EmEyeKay said...

Happy Birthday,@Reeses! Enjoy your day!

Christopher Cruz said...

It's kind of strange that she's even still alive. She makes the OLD Drew Barrymore look like Mother Teresa.

ReesesPeace said...

Thank you! Mwaaahhhhh!!

Amber said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REESES!!!

mikey said...

Welcome to the 50's Reeses! Enjoy and may many great adventures come your way.

MadLyb said...

If any of us "regular" folk had even half her rap sheet, we'd spend 6 months in jail at the very least.

goes in circles said...

HBD, Reeses!

Ari Dari said...

just die already

Ms Cool said...

Happy Birthday Reeses! I like milestone birthdays - the dread/anticipation wears off (I say as someone who recently hit the 40's). Have a great day.

I'm all for a Lohan ban. It won't happen, though.

chopchop said...

Happy birthday Reese! :-)

Dagny said...

Happy birthday, Reese! Hope you have a phucking good day with phucking good birthday cake philled with phucking awesome philling.

Sugar said...

Happy 50th Reeses! "I'm 50 and I kick!" SNL skit

And I'm looking forward to a red-headed mug shot. Change things up a bit!

msgirl said...

Reeses-what a great way to spend your milestone bday! Aside from what's happening to our faces and bodies, 50s are great, truly!

Carolyn said...

As a recovering alcoholic, I usually have sympathy for people with addictions, but I just can't muster any for Lindsay. I'm not sure why that is, especially with her parents being who they are and thus her having the deck stacked against her from a young age. But I just can't.

Happy birthday, Reeses!

Grammar129 said...

HAPPY BORTHDAY REESE!

I really hope Lohan gets arrested in NY then she will hopefully do some legit jail time at Rikers.

MadLyb said...

Happy Half Century B-Day, Reese! I'll be joining you soon.

Frufra said...

Reeses - happy birthday! I know it will be just the first day of a fabulous year!

And YES to Sugar mentioning the SNL skit - Sally O'Malley,I believe - so so funny!

rejectedcarebear said...

HBD Reeses!! What kind of tattoo are you getting (if you don't mind me asking)

Roman Holiday said...

Happy Birthday Reeses!!! Enjoy your special day (12/12/12) Once in a lifetime date??

The only way Lindsey will not die is if she does time, here's hoping they lock her ass up!!!!

katydid25 said...

my sentiments exactly Ari!

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Happy birthday, Reeses! I'm curious about the tattoo as well, so spill, damn it!

yodelay said...

Happy Birthday Reeses! Good luck with the tattoo! I'm getting one for my birthday this year too!

Rose said...

Why don't we skip all these arraignment and sentencing posts unless she is being sent away in another state or for more than a year.

Just trying to save some memory on your site Enty. ;)At this point if I was LL even I would be laughing at legal system, making jokes left & right about how what a waste of time all this crap is.

Ella Bella Boo said...

Happy birthday reese! You're one of my favourite commentors on here! Have a great day! :)

Maximus said...

Must be nice to be a celebrity.

MalibuBarbie said...

Happy Birthday, Reeses!

Robert said...

HBD, RP! Book her, Dano, she's five-oh!

Pookie said...

i really want to see this girl make a come-back, she's been brought up by two people who have no accountability to be an adult w/ no accountability...it can't continue or she will die. i do think she needs a harsh sentence, and i think a jail stint could be a good thing, but ughhh, l.a. is so pansy when it comes to actual justice.

GemTwist said...

Awwww! I had a toke for your birthday too! Happy Birthday!

Cornbread said...

Happy Birthday, Reeses!

@Dagny, very phunny birthday wish. ;)

@dia, I also came to comment on the Rainbow Coalition of Lilo's mugshots! Holy cow.

minerpoteet said...

This is like a Faces of Meth montage. Right before they show the really awful one.

portlandjewel said...

Happy birthday!

SusanB said...

Happy birthday Reeses - for what it's worth, the 50s were very good to me!

As for Lindsay, I heard a few minutes ago on the news her probation was revoked. If I were the judge, I'd make her pay court costs and jail her if she can't pay them.

I don't particularly like the idea of banning her or the KKlan. Reading about them and reading all the snarky comments makes me appreciate my ho-hum life so much more.

smash said...

Yeeeeaaahhhh Reese's!!! Happy birthday! Girl you don't look a day past 29. :)

smash said...

Dagny- you are amazing! I am in Seattle but we should totally be friends! :)

Sherry said...

Happy happy Reeces! Enjoy.

feraltart said...

Happy Birthday Reeces!

Renoblondee said...

Happy Birthday @Reeces! I shall have several drinks in your honor tonight. Do you mind my asking what tattoo you are getting or is it personal?

Ingrid Superstar said...

The one in the middle is the most sinister of all!

auntliddy said...

I dont see how jailing her will do any good. Her crimes are not that serious, and shes a screwed up drug addict who doesnt even know where she is sometimes. I wish shed get sober and write a tell all book!!!!

dia papaya said...

Happy Birthday Reeses! 12/12/12!!!!

Dagny said...

@smash I am in Sacramento, but distance doesn't matter due to the awe-inspiring power of the internet! =) Is there a way to do private messaging on Blogger?

seaward said...

So here I am reading through all these nice birthday messages, when suddenly: "just die already."
Took me far too long to realize that wasn't directed to the bday girl.
HBD, Reeses.

I vote for NO Lohan ban! She pisses me off to no end, but I can't help it, I get an insane amount of pleasure out of her antics.

888 said...

Poor Lindsay, she has ruined her looks and that is the worst tragedy of all. I can't even imagine being so beautiful and completely ruining it at the age of 26. Remember how the paparazzi mistook her for 60 year old Debbie Harry when she had that horrid blonde hair? I wish someone could help her but that's not likely at this point. So sad.

888 said...

Oh and she will be my example of why you don't do drugs for my kids. If I had seen her picture in high school I would've never touched anything EVER. Scared straight indeed!

babo said...

Bon anniversaire Reeses

SashaJames2 said...

Happy birthday Reece! Enjoy your day and much love and happiness to you. Xxx

smash said...

Dagny- no clue on the private messaging. You can always email me! ashley organics at gmail dot com. No spaces :) I grew up in Napa and my uncle live in sac town! My bfs mom lives in San Francisco. I miss the Bay Area so much!!

ReesesPeace said...

We need a LOVE button in here!!!

I phreakin' love my tattoo!! I'm already planning my next one!

My tat: It's called Tribal Heart by Gail Somers. It's kind of an open heart with a smaller solid heart in the middle. It's my first tribute tat to my son and my parents, all 3 long gone. I have another one in mind just for my son and talked to the tattoist about it. I got quite emotional as I shared with Stretch the birth and loss of my son.

It also means...keeping an open heart and purple...to me represents PEACE. I'm always in search of peace. I've had a lot of heavy duty trauma and such in my life: forgiving is very important to me; I'm working on forgiving MYself.

I phreakin' love the awesome and beautiphul readers of CDAN!

Now...wasn't writing about my birthday so much better than writing about Lindsay? ;)

Love and peace to you all! <3

Jenn719 said...

Happy Birthday, Reeses! We're birthday buddies. Today is my 40th and I also look much younger than Lindsay. Even Dina looks younger than Lindsay.

ReesesPeace said...

Happy Birthday Jenn719, my sister Saggi. I hope you're having a wonderfully fabulous day!

figgy said...

Happy birthday! I'm 50 in 10 days...or rather, thirtytwenty.

old ;ady said...

Happy Birthday Reeses. That sounds like a beautiful tattoo. Something I am going to do in 2 yrs on my 60th.

I am waiting for the IRS to go after her for the back taxes. They do not play.

BlindItemMe said...

@Reeces - Happy Birthday!

Hope you have a wonderphul and phantastic day!

(sorry couldnt help it - loved the PH)

wishing you well! :)

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Reeses, hope you have a happy, wonderful birthday!

May the universe bright you joy and light, and more F's than you'll ever need!

(LOL, I almost wrote "F you" but that didn't sound right. So I'll say that Lindsay instead. F You, Lindsay!)

nodisplayname said...

Should submit this lineup of images to Faces of Myth

nodisplayname said...

Meant to say Faces of Meth. Damn auto correct

nodisplayname said...

Should submit this lineup of images to Faces of Myth

nodisplayname said...

Should submit this lineup of images to Faces of Myth

E Gee Be said...

Lovely story, Reeces, and it sounds like you had a pretty awesome day planned, hope it was amazing!

Mrswife29 said...

That was a nice story Reeces! I hope you had a great day and I love that your getting tattoos! Gail Somers work is very pretty.

Mrswife29 said...

I meant "you are." Jeez.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Nodisplayname - I think your "faces of Myth" suggestion is spot-on. After seeing that Liz Taylor antibiopic, Lohan's talent is looking more like a myth every day!

Harvey Manfrenjensen said...

I agree Enty, can't she just disappear for six months so we can all forget about her? The poor wretched beast. Go away crackmonster!