Thursday, December 13, 2012

Lindsay Lohan To Lose Storage Locker

Although Storage wars might be fake, thanks to the show, i think everyone knows how a storage sale occurs and why they happen. It turns out that Lindsay has a huge storage locker. She also has a huge bill. To the tune of $16,000 she needs to pay or her locker will be auctioned off. This won't be a quiet Paris Hilton locker sale where the sex tape was found. Nope. This will be a fully covered all cable networks standing out there while Barry rides up in skeleton gloves and a wheelchair to bid on Lindsay's locker. The thing is I think the amount people pay for it will be crazy. She has a ton of designer stuff in there and maybe even things that were not hers before they ended up in there and you know there will be naked photos and tapes and other things she doesn't want to see the light of day. There is also no way she is going to get $16K to pay that bill when she has the IRS breathing down her neck for the money they are owed. They want their money first. That being said, if you want Lindsay to come over to your place for the weekend in the next few weeks and have $16K, well she would probably be very grateful.

46 comments:

Amber said...

This is bound to be so much better than Paris' Valtrex and sex tapes. I bet they'll find the Shroud of Turin and Atlantis in there. She's gotta be like areal-life Carmen Sandiego.

Agent**It said...

They should get Geraldo to open it.

surfer said...

What I want to know is, why is Shawn Holley still in the picture? What is the deal with that? How on earth is she able to pay her?

megan00m said...

May she will find her integrity!

Amber said...

YES AGENT! Maybe he'll be able to uncover the body of Jimmy Hoffa and he'll become the greatest journalist of all time!

SusanB said...

I can't wait to watch this. I never in my life used pay-per-view but I just might to watch this. And I'd love for Barry to get it just to watch him sneer over the crap she has in there (although I'm sure there's some good stuff too).

Ari said...

She's a piece of crap

ReesesPeace said...

Amber...you're making me snort and cackle in a rather unladylike fashion this morning with your comments. That's all I wanna say. lol

T. E. Cuz said...

i would love to check out the stuff in her storage. i remember rachel zoe giving an interview, or maybe on the first season of her show, talking about lindsay and how she brought so much designer stuff to linds.

abolish the irs, taxation is theft.

Susan said...

LMAO re: Geraldo.

I wonder how much stolen loot is rotting away in there.

curlyhairslacker said...

How long can you get away with not paying before they open it up? She owes $16k-that must be some damn expensive storage!

LMAO @Amber! :)

Amber said...

Haha Reeses - you're welcome! I think I'm in a "mood" today because I have tomorrow off for my brother's graduation.

rejectedcarebear said...

Amber- I'm sure that's also where Bigfoot and Nessie have been hiding this whole time. The real indentity of Jack the Ripper? Yup, its in LLs locker.

ReesesPeace said...

Amber...ENJOY your day off and have tons of fun!!

Onyx Loathes Hydrangeas said...

@surfer, that is a realllly good question. I have no idea either.

And I also sooo can't wait for this! I bet Paris is excited as well.

T. E. Cuz said...

arent lindsay and paris the guess for 2 girls that hooked up and one fell for the other?

ReesesPeace said...

Oh dear gahd...don't let there be a FireCrotch and WonkyEyes sex tape! o_0

The Black Cat said...

I just feel Lindsay's entire life is one big publicity stunt and none of it is real, all prefabricated and we are all being Punk'd

auntliddy said...

Ahhh, the great slow decline marches on. The auctioning of one's possessions.

Momster said...

BARRY!!!

Love that man. Would love to buy him a drink. He's the only reason I occasionally watch the show.

Me said...

shawn holly tried to be removed. lindsey was getting another attorney,(they were named), then it just stopped. suspect the court will not allow holly to be removed (w/ no other attorney) while there is an on-going action, and who else would take her?

Mitchellaneous said...

I'd love to go through that locker with Barry! I'd want us both to we wearing HazMat suits though. Think about it. Perhaps something from the CDC.

Sugar said...

I totally forgot we got blessed with Paris's sex tape and her valtrex prescription knowledge through her storage locker. I wonder what Lindsay is hiding! The possibilities are endless.
I remember Geraldo opening that vault. That shit was classic!!!

T. E. Cuz said...

@me, that blows for miss holly :(

mynerva said...

I thought the exact same thing!

Amy said...

Well in addition to her own stuff she's hiding somewhere some genuine Liz Taylor belongings, and Lady Gaga belonging too, and that's just what we know of from within the past year (and not including the stuff she's lifted from magazines in their photo shoots).

J Breezy said...

The Geraldo comment KILLED me! I needed that this morning...it's my Monday! As for the contents of the locker...a Sam Ronson voodoo doll and probably all sorts of Wilmer memorabilia (a copy of That 70s Show that he signed "Papi" like she dedicated to him on her CD). And that's just the hidden under the bed embarrassing stuff. I can't imagine what was shoved to the back of the closet. The IRS should charge people to watch this...they'd get their money tenfold!

Tania said...

Can't the IRS seize the contents? I bet it's all stolen goods...

katsm0711 said...

If this was twitter I'd start #thingsinsideLiLosStorageLocker

Silly Girl said...

OMG - I've never heard about Paris' locker before!! THAT's how the whole world found out about Valtrex and the sex tape?!?! I never knew that!!!! AWESOME. She's now an even bigger idiot than I thought was even possible!! ROFLMFAO. Seriously!

Tru Leigh said...

Yuuup!

Seriously, does anyone smell a rat? Do you think they paid LiLo to plant some of her crap in a storage locker because she'll do anything for a buck?

Angela said...

Paris Hilton's real "sex tape" was leaked years before the locker incident. The guy who bought the locker content had a few topless videos, or stuff in which she seems quite high on coke on Joe Francis' yacht. He was David Hans Schmidt, the "Sultan of Sleaze", who had bought and sold other sex tapes. He probably bought the locker thinking he would get a treasure trove, but the content was comparatively tame and the Hilton family took care of potential racy stuff.
Schmidt committed suicide five years ago. He was under investigation for attempting to extort money from Tom Cruise (he allegedly got photos from the Katie Holmes wedding) but might have slipped during auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Cecilia00 said...

@Tru Leigh

Yup.

Squeezebox said...

Ahhh, this brings back the days of Katherine Jackson failing to keep up the rent on her storage locker. A guy who had gotten a court judgement on her and her hubby found out about it, and quietly arranged to purchase it contents at auction by sending a representative to bid in his place. As soon as he won it, he had it secretly trucked to New Jersey before the Jacksons could catch up with.

And that's how the world found out about Michael Jackson's dildo, and the dirty pair of young boys undies he'd saved for a souvenir, and the porn tape, and the letter he wrote to a sister-in-law suggesting she tell her kids that they could be molested by anybody.

Lots of good stuff came out of that storage locker!

Silly Girl said...

@Squeeze and @Angela, you guys are GOOD! I didn't know about either of those situations! Sad the guy committed suicide, though.

parissucksliterally said...

In Paris's locker, they also found 3 QUART SIZED ziploc bags of cocaine, jewelry, and THIRTEEN tapes of her having sex with men and women. I knew one of the guys who owned the locker and sold it to that auction guy.

Silly Girl said...

What happened to THOSE tapes, @parissucks?

Silly Girl said...

Not that I want to see them, I should clarify...ugh...gross....

Ms Cool said...

@Squeezebox - what?! Link please.

nurysp said...

i forgot abt paris storage locker.. does this girl ever check any of her bills

parissucksliterally said...

silly girl, whatever the auction guy decided I guess. The guy I knew made a nice chunk of change selling the shit to him.

curlyhairslacker said...

Who the hell puts drugs in storage? What a dipshit! Thanks for the extra details. :)

Sherry said...

Yeah really! Why would you put that much coke in a storage locker?

Loved Megan00m response except I'm pretty sure she never had ANY integrity.

There is no question that you'll find tons of stolen items in there. TONS!

Shit You Can't Buy said...

Paris' locker was bought by a woman, not a man..

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Like Paris's locker, there will be Valtrex at Lindsay's.

Unlike Paris's, the Valtrex will be given as a preventative to anyone who may come in contact with Lindsay's belongings and catch Lind's Special Herp-10 via an unfortunate paper cut.

When they open the locker, I'll bet they'll find Lindsay herself, looking and acting like 50% Gollum, 50% rabid raccoon, and 50% last scenes of "Scarface" -- all hissing and screaming "MINE!!" But be warned: She'll still have the presence of mind to pickpocket yo' ass!

Remember, bidders: Make sure your immunizations are up-to-date, and have your last will and testament notarized before you go!

Harvey Manfrenjensen said...

commence the evil laughter: BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!