Friday, December 28, 2012

The Goopster Has A New Cookbook

It is hard to believe that in April the third cookbook authored by Gwyneth Paltrow is coming out. I would wager that she has not eaten three cookbooks of food her entire life. This one is supposed to be all of her favorite recipes for when she needs to lose weight and also to feel good. Considering she always looks cranky and skinny, the book will probably just be a cover. Seriously, when has she ever needed to lose weight. Last I checked she has never had to play someone who has starved themselves to death or a hiker in the desert who could not find food. That is about the only stage of skinny beneath her now. I'm sure it will be a best seller and if people are willing to buy it, then that is their decision. Just remember. Cranky and skinny.

98 comments:

seaward said...

I wonder how much money she spends to have her hair look like unkempt shit.

*karen* said...

Cranky and skinny is fine, but does it also turn you into an absolute blowhard? That would be my concern.

LottaColada said...

Chicken goop for the soul. Never trust a skinny chef!

O'Really said...

I don't get all the Gwyneth hate. Maybe some reveals next week will enlighten me.

discoflux said...

She looks like the homeless lady that always used to ask me for cigarettes at the corner of 6th and Congress in Austin.

Alma said...

Dude, i can't wait! Just the other day i was thinking of how i should cook those rare golden goose eggs.

Christopher Cruz said...

Such a good one!!! And probably WAAAY too much!!!

ReesesPeace said...

I was never so miserable as when I was active with eating disorders. I looked damn good, but I was freakin' miserable! But my hair looked good.

*karen* said...

Also, RECIPES don't have the power to "make you look good and feel great." They're just instructions.

Sunny said...

*takes hoops off and puts vaseline on my face*

Just kidding! But I do like her - different strokes

FlirtyChick74 said...

She wants to be the next Martha Stewart. I'm no fan of hers but I can see the appeal. Lots of women I work with would kill to be her.

Sugar said...

I don't love her either but I think she looks cute here and I actually like her hair. I'll never buy her cookbooks though.

*karen* said...

@Reeses, cosign on that. :(

VIPblonde said...

I bought Gwyneth's first cookbook, just for her roasted brussel sprouts recipe. Totally worth it. Haven't even looked at the other recipes yet.

Also, everybody knows that when Gwyneth is feeling fat, she follows "Clean" by Alejandro Junger, which is basically a fast. So if this is her weight loss book, what are the recipes going to be? Different ways to flavor your water?

Cheryl said...

It's All Goop

Tish said...

I went through the same thing, @reeses and @Karen :( The worst part was constantly being complimented on how 'great' I looked. Other people were clueless.

Alma said...

Well for me it is how she tries to present herself as an everyday woman then gives "practical" advice to women and tries to sell them a $900 plain white t shirt. She was born with a silver spoon in her....mouth and does not seem grateful for her privelaged life. I love blythe danner but she raised a very spoiled woman. And now she is gooping all over us. Can i use it as a verb?

ReesesPeace said...

Happily noshing on a slice of frosted Triple Choco Brownies that boyfriend made to make up for peanut-laden cookie bars he brought home from brother's house. Y'all have your mimosas and such...I'll take choco! =)

PuggleWug said...

I don't hate her, but I don't like her. She's meh. I doubt she came up with any of those recipes.

discoflux said...

Here's the drink recipe thread:

http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/08/blind-item-2_10.html

I totes bookmarked that sucker that day. Iposted it in the Stormin' Norman post, too.

ReesesPeace said...

@Tish. Gahd, that was awful, wasn't it??? You look sooo good! And, when I stopped, people would say, "You need to get back to doing whatever it was you were doing!" Even after they knew I'd had ED!!!

ReesesPeace said...

@Alma. I've been saying gooping for years... as in, I'm gooping the hair color on right now, can't talk! lol

Agent**It said...

Sunny's Blue Fancies.. that's what I was looking for:)

*karen* said...

@Reeses and @Tish, exactly. Only a few people knew/know that my weight loss was due to an eating disorder. What I hate now is that trying to lose weight safely is so hard.

Alma said...

Awesome! :)

Tuxedo Cat said...

Apparently Gwyneth's father was a self-professed gourmet "World Famous Pancakes" etc., so she grew up around the patter of cookery.

I think these are probably mostly family recipes, which is fine, and early in her armchair chef career was accused in a Daily Mail article of having used the ghostwriter, Julia Turshen.

According to Gwyneth, she (Gwyneth) "wrote every word".

But, Julia Turshen (taken from an acknowledgment in one of the cookbooks):

"She quantified, tested  and retested every recipe, oversaw the production of the photos, helped brainstorm in a crisis, and, above all, was my intellectual and emotional support through the whole process".

So I think Gwyneth wrote the little first paragraphs that come before some recipes in recipe books...

It pisses me off that she has so much yet is taking even more in putting out a celebrity cookbook, which will take business away from other cookbooks that are actually written by people who are trying to make a living at it.

Apparently it is very hard to get a cookbook published these days bc of all the internet recipes available.

I know she has the right to do anything she wants, but she seems to keep trying to be Everywoman and it is annoying.

If she weren't a celebrity already she wouldn't have a chance of getting a cookbook published.

discoflux said...

Happy to assist, Agent. It can be the official drink of our drunken badminton team.

Renoblondee said...

I like her too!

eris hilton said...

Never trust a skinny cook, that's what I say! Although in this case, I doubt she has ever cooked/eaten any of this food, but it probably was conceived of and eaten by someone else who knows what they're talking about. So hey, it might be pretty good.

dia papaya said...

Thanks disco!!!

Hope those babies aren't giving you too much trouble today!

Agent**It said...

Yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lioness70 said...

She looks about 25. Impossible for someone her age and who's that thin.

I'm two years older than her. I don't have any wrinkles. I'm also a good 70-80 pounds heavier than her.

Amazing what 'shopping and retouching does.

Skinny, cranky, and wrinkles - no thanks. I'll keep the extra weight. ;)

katsm0711 said...

She almost looks like she asked her makeup artist tiger her the roseacea special. As if redness indicates healthy from healthy eating lol. And her hair? This photo is such a lie bc it's nothing like she ever looks in real life so why would get fans buy the cookbook if it's not the normal Gwyneth that they like in the first place? Even if she decided it was best to be makeup free on the cover to match the mood of the book, she needed to cover up her red nose which indicates inflammation caused by what se eats.... But at least we know she's still street bc she says things like "it's all good"

dia papaya said...

Sunny's Blue Fancies and drunken badminton! When and where?

Who has the best party yard? All that sunshine in Portland yesterday has me thinking it's summer! Summer beach party!

*did I mention I didn't sleep so well again*

phoenix said...

I love her as Pepper Potts in the Iron Man franchise movies. Just about any other celeb you can think of engages in more truly hate worthy off screen behavior than her imo, so whatever.

dia papaya said...

I am torn about Gwyneth. I want to like her. She always seems so personable on the chat shows. Her golden locks and legs to heaven are on everyone woman's wish list. But! But!!! I just can't shake the feeling that she's not 100% genuine. That she's smirking at me with her giant blue eyes.

But her and dreamy RDJ are good friends so maybe he knows something we don't know.

whocaresnow12 said...

I hate to admit it, but her first cookbook is pretty good.

Also, for whoever said food doesn't make you feel good, yes it does. Eat only crap and you feel, and look, like crap. Eat whole, clean foods and your body will look and feel good. There less chance of illness and most genetic diseases.

yodelay said...

Sorry, that cover shot looks like she's trying to sell me a hair lightening product in 1976. No thanks.

I do like her as an actress however.

KathyVermont said...

I don't mind Gwyneth at all, and am looking forward to her cookbook. I love to cook and I got back to what I weighed in my 20s by eating healthy and portion control, I'm not cranky & skinny either.

discoflux said...

I'm at work today, dia, and the oldest is totally over the sickies. Yay! Unfortunately they go to their honorary grandparents house today so I have a little bit of the sads.

When Mr. Disco and the boys (i'm totally making them start a band now) dropped me off at work this morning, I got misty eyed. I'm getting misty eyes right now just thinking about it. We were supposed to have them until the 5th because their mother, who left for england on the 21st and doesn't return until Jan 4th, being the oh so lovely person she is, decided that since the divorce decree states that Mr. Disco was only allotted the 22-28th (regardless of the fact that she didn't take that into account when she scheduled her trip and conveniently "forgot" and that the arrangements for us to keep them the entirety of the trip had been made months ago)that we had to take them to the honorary grandparents and said that if we didn't she'd have law enforcement come remove them.

I don't understand how someone can be as mean as she is.

NapAssasin said...

She's always been a macrobiotic follower, and typically that's akin to veganism as well as absconding from anything that might give you pleasure from food - alcohol, sugar, starch. I'm not surprised she put out another cookbook on a healthy lifestyle, she clearly has fans of how she lives, just look at Goop (the website). I'm sure equally vapid self absorbed rich white women will think "Finally, a book written by someone just like me, who understands my struggle and issues while finally taking advantage of the inexpensive bounty at Whole Foods. I'm saved!" And she'll make a mint off it and will continue to be exactly the same person. I don't hate her, but I spend a lot of time with raised eyebrows when I read about her. I hope she is somewhat as genuine a human as she believes she is, and a good mother. And I call bullshit on that picture. That was taken in her 20's when she actually had some roundness to her face.

ReesesPeace said...

Oh, Disco, sweetie, your last comment made me sad and furious! I don't understand how people can be so damn mean and petty and vindictive. I give my Mom credit: she never ever bad-mouthed my Dad and trust me! She had reason to, but she always took the high road and I so respect her for that. Keep your head up and smile 'n nod! Smile 'n nod, baby!! Those kids will someday learn what a twunt their mother is!

MISCH said...

Goopie follow's every diet fad that comes along....
I won't buy the cookbook of a bulimic .....
Anything for a buck...she really has become a greedy pig..
On the hair she has thick wavy hair like her mom...

dia papaya said...

Disco! I'm so sorry! Now I feel bad for asking. I don't like miserable people who use their children as pawns and make evetyone miserable in the process. It makes me steaming mad.

You want for us to find her and rough her up a bit? I know people ;)

*karen* said...

@whocaresnow, I was referring to the wording, not the claim. The MEALS can possibly make you look good and feel great, but the RECIPES cannot.

curlyhairslacker said...

I like Gwyneth, but I don't buy her cookbooks. Too many good online recipes!

@whocares-ITA.

ms snarky said...

it amazes me that with her income, she can't afford a decent haircut.

discoflux said...

That's all I can do, Reeses. We do our best to provide a loving and stable environment for them while they're with us, never bad mouth her in front of them, and try to raise them to be be good, respectful human beings. Her behavior will only backfire on her as they get older and see the things she does and the way she behaves.

discoflux said...

Ahhhh... don't you just love the arguments over semantics, karen?

fancyscreenname said...

She's probably just trying to keep the creative juices flowing and have herown thing going on. At least she's not sitting around expecting Chris to take care of her and bitching him out because of "another tour" he has to go on. I hope not.....

She's cool beans..:-)

Frivolity said...

In 10-15 years she'll have a tell-all book about how difficult it was to be shilling her cookbooks and her healthly lifestyle when all the while she was anorexic/bulimic. And she'll make a ton off of that one too ...

Jules_345 said...

@kathyvermont, great job, I am trying to get back to what I weighed in my 20s myself (or even my 30s).

discoflux said...

I'm actually glad you asked, dia. I needed to vent. :) My besties all have the whole week off so they're not online to chat.

She's one of those people that isn't happen unless she's making someone else miserable, won't do anything for herself that she can get someone else to do, never takes responsibility for her actions, and is as dense as a marble block.

ReesesPeace said...

@Frivolity! I can definitely see that happening!

*karen* said...

@disco, it's because I'm an editor. I'm naturally nitpicky about the written word. It hit me right after I posted, "...Karen...no one cares but you."

Li said...

She may be a nice person but that stunt she pulled with Winona Ryder makes me think otherwise.

Tippie Toes said...

Oh I don't find her attractive and I've been pondering for years what all the hype is about her! And she thinks she cool enough to use the NWORD because she has black dumb azz friends... Bey Jay and YE! YEP I SAID IT

discoflux said...

Karen - I completely appreciate it. I do technical editing as well.

Tippie Toes said...

MY GAWD she resembles OPIE....

Jules_345 said...

Li, what stunt?

Señior Seamhead said...

I hate that line. You've obviously never worked in a restaurant.

Cheryl said...

I did get back to what I weighed in my 20's. Due to gallstones, I had to go on an ultra low fat diet to prevent attacks until my surgery. In the process I learned how to fit healthy eating into my lifestyle. Post surgery, its been difficult to maintain balance in my diet, but eating right does make you feel better than when you eat garbage.

Sherry said...

This is a horrible shot of Goop. And it isn't a recent picture.

Years ago I collected cookbooks and had prolly over a 100. I realized that aside from a few go to's my skill set didn't require them any longer and gave them away.

I make it a point NOT to buy them from celebrity chefs however because I know most of them are not penned by said chef. That somehow seems inherently wrong.

@Disco..Sorry your having the kiddie tug of war. Karma baby!!!

LottaColada said...

No señior I obviously haven't ;)
And I'm talking about celebrity chefs not restaurant chefs.

White lilly said...

@discoflux, I'm so sorry! It such a horrible thing when parents do that to their chiildren. They think they're getting back at the adults but it's really the kids that suffer... so vent away!!

@Frivolity, I can see that happening too!!

Maybe her cookbooks are good, but I just find it hard to swallow it (no pun intended) when I've watched that show "On the road - Spain", with her. Everyone else on the show was seemed to always be enjoying the food and whenever she would be eating, it looked like she was disgusted and only took a little piece and hated everything. She wouldn't appear all the time, so it even looked like the other people on the show were more relaxed when she wasn't around...

jax said...

Skinny and cranky is NOT ok. It means you have low blood sugar and your body wants fucking food.

I'll take a few extra pounds and poutine any day over starving to look a way my body was never meant to be.

White lilly said...

Anyway, I'm off to hell. Or going get the ferry and being pissed that people cut in line with their cars. Will be back later. If I'm not and not back until New Year's Eve, I wish you all a great New Year, I know most don't really celebrate but here in Brasil, we have a bunch of parties and I'll be off to watch fireworks at the beach!
So have fun, lots of mimosas!!!!

xoxoxo

dia papaya said...

So many editors! I know who to call when I write my book!!! Glad someone still knows how to write and use words correctly!

Glad I could be of service Disco! You vent away! The ladies of CDaN are here!!!

Call me yndy... said...

Ummm it says "And Julia Turshen" right under The Goopster's name. Just in smaller print there.

*karen* said...

@dia, I would much prefer editing a book to a user manual. Just let me know. :)

dia papaya said...

Thanks Karen! We can drink Guinness and take about words!!!

Brea McCain said...

I was going to say the same thing but you said it better thanks.

Call me yndy... said...

@disco I refer to parents like that woman as "incendental genetic donors" -- since she has all the parenting instincts of a pit viper, she must only have been in the universal picture to donate some important genetic traight to her offspring. Which means they can be perfectly nice boys as long as they don't emulate her!

auntliddy said...

Me neither. Do these drama queens EVER think of the children first?? Ever? I have no use for people who do shit like this. Hugs to u and mr. And a pox on meanie-loo, i hope the heel on her shoe breaks and she has to limp all the way home.

ReesesPeace said...

@Aunt Liddy...lolol! When I read 'a pox on meanie-loo', I thought you meant me! My nickname..honestly, people, my name on Facebook is Meanie! That is my true and bonafide nickname! =)

skimpymist said...

I wonder if it comes with a bonus enema...

discoflux said...

Thanks for the support, ladies. I truly do appreciate you all. I wish we could challenge her for primary custody but she's backed by millionaire parents who will do whatever she asks without question, regardless of the ramifications on the boys and we are just not financially capable of fighting them. Children are just props to that family, it seems.

Jazzy said...

Yes! Also, who is telling her that she doesn't need to wear makeup?! If she is going out and taking pictures looking like this then she doesn't have any real friends.

Jazzy said...

Haha!

Li said...

The story goes that Winina wanted to audition for the lead role in Shakespeare in Love and she had the script and the Goopster swooped in, stole the script from her and the rest is history. At the time she and Winona were bffs. Not so after that.

urban chaos said...

I want to like Goop, I really do! But I cannot take her 'foodie' persona seriously. Food culture is just another snobbery of hers.
I will save my money for cookbooks of those I respect- the ones who have paid their dues in the kitchen and offer some mastery I can salivate over.

teg said...

I don't mind the goopster, she's so oblivious she seems like a total nut, which I can appreciate (plus she looked freaking adorable in The Avengers, which I did not expect). That being said, she looks like she's 12 on that cover--at a certain point looking younger than your age is cool, but looking like a tween is not.

Jen said...

She looks pretty gorgeous to me. I think she should have been a shoo in for Grace Kelly, she looks exactly like her and Kidman does not at all. I think the CDAN guy likes her, he's just joshing and all.

Jessie said...

I love Gwyneth. And I think she just needs someone else to do her hair. Okay, I'll do it.

Mango said...

She's a raging, pretentious ass and the fact that her Goop blog doesn't allow comments says a lot. Even Gwyneth in her little bubble must realize that people would mock the shit out of her.



fancyscreenname said...

Pulling a GWYNETH.....

OR

I got PALTROW'D....

WHen a "friend" or close acquaintance double crosses u. To put your hands on something that is not yours/stealing/snooping. To back stab. Disloyalty, etc....

"Don't let Cindy come over your house Anna, she pulled a Paltrow the other day, now I can't find my (lifted item)."

LOL, Yoko can't b the only celebrity whose name is synonymous with evil doing.....;-)

Agent**It said...

disco, she is not just mean but also very stupid. I do not know of any child that does not need all the good lovin' they can get. She has a great safety net for the kids with you and Mr.Disco, hopefully she'll wake up and get over herself real soon.

penelope said...

I agree that this photo was taken years ago... I doubt she looks like that now!

warmislandsun said...

I don't like her. No, I don't.

PuggleWug said...

I'm I'm the minority, but I really like the picture. She has the "natural" look going on (and probably is wearing tons of makeup to achieve it!). During the summer, we go to the lake a lot (I live I'm MI), and I end up looking like that by the time we leave. After a day of swimming and relaxing, I end of with rosey cheeks and messy hair. I don't look pristine by any means, but dammit, I feel pretty!

Disco, I am sorry to hear about your hub's issue with his ex. My parents divorced when I was you. I love my mom to death, but she bad mouthed my dad left and right. By the time I reconnected with him, I already had in my mind the kind of person he was, due to the bitterness my mom had. I have no idea of your situation, or what type of person she is, but this needs to be nipped in the bud. She may be trying to hurt your husband, but really she is doing a major disservice to the little ones.

PuggleWug said...

You=young
Also, I meant to put I'm only once in the sentence. I can't even blame my autocorrect today, dammit!

Lola said...

You all already know about my irrational Goopster love....

Sunny said...

Jesus, Lola! Where have you been? I couldn't fight this fight my myself, so I vented on FB! Ha ha!

Unknown said...

If she is that young and suffers from osteopeanio due to her disorder there is no way i would ever buy any cookbook she puts out. I remember being a teen and someone asked her how she maintains her weight and she said her mom gave her the best advice. Never eat anything you like. Even at a young age, that sounded so wrong.

Lola said...

Lol, Sunny. I saw you up there and thought, "poor Sunny, all alone all day." But then I saw renoblondee chimed in with the irrational love...and then there were 3. ;p

bri swartley said...

You need to spend some time reading how she'd rather die than give her kids a processed cheese product, all her nasty comments about America/Americans,, etc, and perhaps you'll get what a total snotty, anorexic, lying biotch she really is. Don't buy into the media/HW butt kissing, I know people that work on sound stages, have worked w her. There's many reasons she's called The Worst. But, Alba and Swift may end up usurping her, before too long.

Roman Holiday said...

I am a day late on this post but I like her too:) Maybe she is a natural at cooking? Also, she is probably one of those people that are naturally thin, I know from experience that this can happen I have been 113 lbs for at least 25 years now. I just can't hate on her because she is pretentious, we all have our moments only ours are not broadcast for everyone to see!!! @ Sunny and Lola, I am glad I am not alone:)

artemis said...

My favourite GOOP quote from when people complained that the products she shills are not affordable for the everyday woman:

"I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year. "

Sigh...I wish she would put on her actress hat and try to see what it's like to struggle while doing whatever possible to eat and live a clean lifestyle. I do admire how unapologetic she is however.