Thursday, December 06, 2012

Your Turn

Gwyneth Paltrow missed her anniversary with Chris Martin. Would you miss your anniversary with your significant other?

75 comments:

Lily Pannella said...

What do you mean by miss? Forgot? Possibly, probably not. Miss for work? Absolutely. It's one day. I can celebrate another day.

Mitchellaneous said...

I did once. And then I got divorced. The end.

Barton Fink said...

If it were Gwyneth, I would.

wrekehavoc said...

not if i wanted to see the next anniversary. or if i had gotten hit by a truck. i think he would excuse that one ;-)

KendraWM said...

Yup, been married 11 years and we have missed a few anniversaries. have to travel for work sometimes and work trumps anniversary.

LottaColada said...

Not purposely but for work/emergencies I think you get a pass. Make up for it when you are together again. =)

My SIL missed her first ann. with her husband because they fight a lot. Not a good way to start a marriage.

VIPblonde said...

Not if things are going well. If your relationship has reached the point that you can't even get it up for your anniversary, it's a bad sign

*karen* said...

If I reminded my husband and he still forgot, I'd be annoyed. If one of us had to work or had another commitment, I wouldn't care if we celebrated on another day. The milestone is important, not when you celebrate it.

Mitchellaneous said...

I did it because a friend had an extra ticket to a Billy Joel/Elton John concert. And I really didn't like my husband.

Mitchellaneous said...

But I'm a huge fan of my current husband, and although we don't make a big deal out of the day, we're always together.

Lurky Loo said...

I did this year. My husband had to fly down to New Orleans for a conference so we missed spending it together. But I flew down that weekend and we had a blast making up for it!

DixieTheNoble82 said...

No I would not.

donner said...

Our anniversary was yesterday. We don't really do anything to celebrate it, but its on my calendar. We don't do big birthday or Christmas deals either so it's just how we roll...

Flor Avila said...

Me too! Except thats when I realized he was cheating on me. Amongst other things, like the apartment in downtown, nights away due to "overtime", profiles on dating websites, anonymous calls from women, and other douchery behavior! Hmmmm.....

Renoblondee said...

I try not to, but sometimes due to work or other circumstances you have to.

Flor Avila said...

Me too! Except thats when I realized he was cheating on me. Amongst other things, like the apartment in downtown, nights away due to "overtime", profiles on dating websites, anonymous calls from women, and other douchery behavior! Hmmmm.....

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

I guess Enty doesn't even bother to offer a context since we all know it'll be in the Daily Mail...

DBZee said...

Mr Z completely forgot our anniversary this year - then forgot my birthday 2 months later. We've been together long enough that I don't take it personally - I have to remind him of family birthdays, anniversaries, events, etc.

In our family, we don't take "days" as something to be revered. We put off birthday celebrations until the weekend, when we can all celebrate together.

That reminds me of one thing I'd do if I ran the world: make *ALL* holidays fall on a Friday or a Monday. If you've ever tried to teach art to 25 third-graders hepped up on sleep-deprivation and chocolate overload the day after Halloween, you know what I'm talking about!

Its just U said...

Ah yeah. It's just a day. My man is a lighting tech for rock bands (roadie) so he is away a lot. We don't need a special day to show each other how we feel. We do that all the time.

All about Eve said...

I haven't and I don't think I would, it's the one day out of 365 days in the year to celebrate your marriage. I don't judge people who would miss it because of work specially when there's no other option but really does Gwenyth need the money that badly that she can't turn down this job that would keep her from her husband on this day?

Christine! said...

My husband is physically unable to manage his calander (construction) so he can remember birthdays and other important dates. My 10 yr old daughter has no memory of me ever blowing out a birthday candle- and my birthday is 2 weeks after hers....My husband cannot buy birthday gifts or christmas gifts without handholding. It is so hurtful...3 weeks before my last bday- I explained how it was important for our daughter to see ME celebrated- to see ME honored and that at 10, she needed someone to TAKE HER SHOPPING, as she can't drive herself....and I told my husband it was up to him to make it happen- explained how he could go buy a cake/candle and all that. My birthday came and went with nothing. I dread christmas....if it makes any difference, he doesn't do anything for his Mother either...

StewMcG said...

The only one we "missed" celebrating was our 4th anniversary but that was because our 3 week old daughter was in the hospital, diagnosed as "failure to thrive" and neither of us were willing to do anything that would require us to leave her hospital room. Flash forward 7 years and we're just about to celebrate our 11th anniversary with a very healthy 7 year old daughter. :)

Christine! said...

sorry- the reason I commented was to say our anniversary was 2 weeks ago- no card no nada...11 years together.

auntliddy said...

Her and hubby lead very diff lives than most people. On the road alot. Wldnt want to miss it, but if it was some work stuff, what r u gonna do?

auntliddy said...

Ooh, to finish: me and my hubby together like 24/7, so we never miss anything, lol

StewMcG said...

Christine!, I'm so sorry you're going through this. My ex-husband was like that and it carried through to everyone in his life, including the 2 daughters we have together. Now that the girls are 17 and 16, though, he's finally beginning to understand. Imagine their surprise yesterday to see a UPS box of Hanukkah gifts from their father sitting on the front porch. I think this is the first year that presents from Dad were not bought, wrapped, and delivered by either of his parents or me.

Maybe one day it'll click with your husband.

LottaColada said...

@Christine, that really sucks. My father was the same way. If my older sisters hadn't been there to celebrate my mom, I don't think I would've known her birthday as a child. Do you ever "forget" his birthday?

Jamie 2 said...

During the time I was married, we never celebrated an anniversary. $100 says my ex couldn't have told you the date at gunpoint. We got married during lunch hour at the court house in our work clothes and the only people there were the judge and his clerk to witness. The judge was eating a sandwich and asked, do you want the religion bit? We said, no, and it was done in five minutes.

It was an immigration emergency and our lawyer told us to get it done in a week. We did. We'd been living together for five years. so there was no big fuss.

Well, until I got home after working late that day and found him watching football w/o even a bunch of flowers for me or a bottle of champagne. It hadn't occurred to him to ask me out to dinner.

Yup, I married the last of the Great Romantics.

Christine! said...

thanks friends- no I do not miss his day- though it comes down to me making a cake and us having friends over and having a bonfire etc...his type of celebration.

I tell him how I feel, and make a point each year to explain that one can go to the store and buy a premade cake, buy candles and buy a fricking card- to deaf ears.

His Mother had to call him to remind him it was her birthday this year- I got a huge laugh from that- still get a giggle.

Baka Neko said...

Possibly. We got married the week of Christmas and I work in retail so we can't take if off. So for our one year if I have to work we're going to celebrate the next day we have off.

Sarah said...

I don't have a significant other, Enty *bursts into tears*

It wouldn't be a big deal if it was missed though. Work and things happen.

IMakeNoSense said...

I've been single for a long time now and i can't remember any of my families birthdays, etc but i can tell you my exes birthdays and such.

Aoife said...

Men will forget an anniversary. Women, unless the relationship is in the shitter, don't.

DBZee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neva Reese said...

If you are true partners and teammates, missing celebrating the date you were married is not going to break you. Especially when you're both creatives.

...oh lord, I think I just defended Gwyneth Paltrow...all signs point to the Mayan Apocolypse!

rejectedcarebear said...

I understand Christine- my father forgets my moms birthday and their anniversary every year and they are a day apart. He also forgets how to spell my name. I hope it gets better for you!

SusanB said...

We're always together...a few years ago though, we both forgot about it until a few days later. We were busy with work stuff...we both felt kind of bad, but at least it was mutual.

Hazeldazel said...

Christine, (very excellent name by the way) forget his birthday next year. I'm serious. The message needs to be sent. He needs to "get it", that it is hurtful. And if your kids aren't going to do anything either, go off to a damn spa or whatever is fun for you (maybe with some girlfriends?) and treat yourself and let them cook and clean up after themselves for the weekend. Just tell them you're going, no asking. Ooooh, Vegas would be fun. *waggles eyebrows*

I always take my anniversary off and my birthday off. My boss knows it's like Hazeldazel law and to just mark it off the calendar. Luckily, she does the same thing as far as anniversary and it's the day before mine. But it's a good rule, who wants to schlub thru work and get yelled at on your special days? Nah, sleep in and schlep around in your fuzzy slippers and cuddle with your sweetie.

yodelay said...

Christine, you've exactly described someone with ADD. Given the length of time you've been married, I'm sure you've learned not to take it personally. I hope he shows his love and appreciation for you in his own way. It can be a real struggle to be with someone whose brain doesn't operate the way most others do.

HolidayinCambodia said...

Well, my wife got humiliatingly falling-over drunk at a neighborhood party before we were going to go out on our 18th anniversary. Then we got each other the same ambivalent card for our 19th. We were split at 20, and there was no 21.

Maja. With a J. said...

I think the milestone is important, and I think I might be a tad disappointed if my husband didn't remember. We try to do something on the day, like going out to dinner or whatever, but if we had to miss it due to work or other commitments, not a huge deal.

This year we won't forget though - it's our 10th, and it's on December 21st. Hence my conviction that the world WILL, in fact, end on that day!

Michelle said...

I have a military spouse. We've had more anniversaries apart than we've had together!

Ms Cool said...

Not if I could help it. I haven't missed on yet.

Off topic but I need a place to discuss that John Travolta/Olivia Newton John video. OMGoodness.

Christine! said...

ADD huh- thats a possiblilty. I personally think its a huge ass case of don't give a fuck.

there are worse things in life- heard on NPR yesterday about women in Nigeria/Africa wasting so much of their time each day- get this- looking for a restroom. There are major issues with sanitation and it ends up now people are charging to operate restrooms- CAN YOU IMAGINE??????? My 10 yr old and I sat in the car well after I had parked listening to the announcer tell the story. We both sat in silence for a moment- and my daughter announced she wants tpo follow in her cousins footsteps and join the Peace Corps- my niece went to Peru and built restrooms for a village and taught oral hygeine.

To wrap it up- it does hurt to be "forgotten", but in the grand scheme of things- I try and remember it really is a gift each day to be healthy and live in the USA vs be ill in a Country where you can't crap in the privacy of your own home.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ALL!

Mari said...

I got chills.
They're multiplying, and I'm losing control.
It was that bad. :))

Sherry said...

Sometimes we have to put off celebrating until the weekend if my husband is out of town, however we always at least go out to a nice dinner when he gets back.

Our anniversary is next month so I think I'll just suggest to my husband that I travel with him that week so we can be together on the day . . . so nice to have the kiddoes all grown up.

feraltart said...

My hubby and I got together in February, our wedding anniversary is in June. We will have been together 14 years next February, our next wedding anniversary is 9 years. We have both forgotten our wedding anniversary for a few years in a row now. It doesn't mean anything to us. Being together is what we love, and not being able to have children means we travel, go to dinner etc, so we do special things together all the time. We consider our birthdays more important.

Jules_345 said...

Our 20th is on 12/19...so stupid to get married the week of Christmas! And we will be together but likely the only celebration will be ordering Chinese food to go along with the classic 20 year china gift. Because of the date, there have been plenty of years that we celebrate on our half anniversary. It's just a date.

FalseProfit said...

That marriage is a sham.

nudibelle said...

no we have seen each other every anniversary. even if it was just enjoing take out and our tv shows we took the time out that day. but nothing ever came out that we couldnt . AW the good old days when we use to get so dressed up and go out... now its my pick of favorite take out and i get to watch my shows for the night

Renoblondee said...

@DBZEE What a wonderful idea for @Christine and her daughter. I totally cosign! It made my eyes well up a little.

Jaiden_S said...

If we had discussed it in advance, and it was unavoidable, sure. As long as we celebrate, the day doesn't matter.

Turkish Taffy said...

I've been married more than 20 years, and sometimes real life rears its ugly head on a day you plan to celebrate. We may not always be able to make it an "event", but we always remember the sentiment.

car54 said...

Single, don't have an anniversary...but this year according to the Mayan calendar the world is ending on my birthday so that will be exciting. :)

Turkish Taffy said...

Wow, I just read through the comments. I'm amazed how many of us had December weddings. Mine is 12/17.

MrWolf said...

If my anniversary was with Chris Martin, hell yes I would miss that. How many times do I need to see dude singing Paradise?

If it was Gwyneth Paltrow, I dunno. I guess I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. On the other hand, I might kick her out of bed for lecturing me on how crackers are inorganic, loaded in sodium and low brow..

The Little Woman said...

We've never forgotten, but we don't always celebrate. Or to celebrate, we do nothing together. With four kids it's our very favorite way to celebrate :)

yodelay said...

@Christine, I went through something similar with a parent and it was very frustrating. If any of the following sound familiar, it may help to look into it:

• Inattention to details and tendency to make careless mistakes.

• Fidgeting, squirming and restlessness.

• Difficulty focusing.

• Failure to listen when spoken to directly.

• Lack of follow-through and failure to finish work.

• Disorganization.

• Avoidance of work that requires sustained mental effort.

• Excessive talking.

• Tendency to lose items necessary for tasks.

• Easily distracted.

• Impatience.

• Forgetfulness.

• Trouble participating in leisure activities quietly.

• Tendency to interrupt or intrude on others.

Cee Kay said...

Eh. I'd be pissed if he forgot it, but if he couldn't be there for work or whatever? Not the end of the world. Treat me well everyday, and you don't have to show up for an anniversary or Valentine's Day bearing gifts. (Can't even remember the last time we celebrated Valentine's Day, honestly. It was definitely pre-kids...)

zeldafitzgerald said...

we do all the time!

Sherry said...

Christine, you are obviously a giver. And, it appears the children are taking after you. Good work be proud of yourself. And I'm very sorry to hear that your husband doesn't appreciate that. And like someone else mentioned, do something special for yourself for your birthday and go out with your girlfriends. Screw him if he doesn't know what a wonderful partner he's got!

Sherry said...

We don't always celebrate on the exact day because we married the weekend he has an annual convention. But the Opster never forgets special occasions. He's very sweet that way. And it's not about spending $ but October 2013 will be 10 years married (17 together) and he must get me the other diamond band I asked for. He teases that he'll make me one outta metal but I know he'll deliver. I got a good one ladies and gentlemen.

Christine! said...

yodelay & sherry- appreciate the words and information<3

Mari said...

Late saying, but I know what you mean. My BFF for life & I just had our 20th anniversary of our first meeting, he's overseas right now (army) he said, 'Out of the 20 years you wanna work out how many years we've been in the same country? It doesn't matter though, cause you're always with me.'
*tears*

Silly Girl said...

First marriage, our son was born the day before our anniversary (4th year), so every year since I'd gloss over our anniversary in favor of continuing to celebrate our son's birthday. Second marriage, we spend every day together, so I'm not sure the actual day will be all that important.

WUWT? said...

I had a new manager call me into work on my first anniversary. I had ALWAYS come in every other time I was called, but this was a new manager so he didn't know that. I said no, and he told me to read my job description and find another job if I wasn't going to come in. I said in any contest between my marriage and my job, I would put my marriage first, so please don't ask me to come in on my FIRST anniversary. HR sided with me.
Now, as long as my husband and I have SOME time together on our anniversary, it's fine if one or both of us have to work for part of it.
And I have a new manager again (I outlast them all), and I think she would understand.

Popnursing said...

@Donner - us too. Anniversary, meh - still together; see you tomorrow.

E Gee Be said...

Happy anniversary to you guys that are about to celebrate!
To Christine and any one else that has been there...gurl(s), I've been married almost 22 years and I have been on the receiving end of some "forgetfulness" , but after one full year without a single anything (birthday, anniversary, valentines, Arbor Day, etc), I went on my own celebration strike. Not completely, but the scale way back mode worked, and mr. Be figured t out, and now always comes through
Remember, we are all worth celebrating

BlindItemMe said...

Oh I saw it this morning. Wow. I've never used the term cringe-worthy, but that's what it was.

just come out John we'll still love you!

Free John!!

KittensRUs said...

I was about to note that I am the one who doesn't remember events, but neither does my fiancé so we are made for each other. Two high IQ, extremely ADHD, type A's. His daughter is the type that would need therapy if anyone forgot her special days, fortunately I know how to use the gmail calendar to set up reminders.

CanadianMiss said...

I have a horrible time remembering important dates. I'm a a little scattered.
For our actual anniversary, neither my husband or I can remember the actual date. Every time we talk about it we debate whether it's the 30 or 31 of the month, and we've been married for 9 years! :-)
For us, or me at least, little niceties often are more important than one day.

StewMcG said...

Another December anniversary couple here... 12/22 marks 11 years for us. :D

redronnie said...

We were married on New Year's Eve, so we would have no excuse not to celebrate with fireworks.

misspeg86 said...

I totally forgot mine this year. My bf and I were going through a really rough patch and I was just under a lot of stress. He texted me after I got into work that morning to say happy anniversary attached with a short message. I felt so bad because he knew I had forgotten. Things are on the up now so I'm looking forward to our next one and will definitely not forget again!

@Christine! Your posts are so sad :

misspeg86 said...

Sorry, pressed the wrong button...message got cut off...

@Christine! Your posts are so sad :( I hope your husband will soon appreciate what an awesome wife you are and celebrate you the way you deserve to be celebrated! Otherwise, like some other readers suggested, if he's too ignorant to celebrate you then screw him...celebrate yourself. You know you totally deserve to!