Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Your Turn

Lisa Lampanelli recently used the N word to describe Lena Dunham and says that because she used the word with an a ending rather than an er ending that it is perfectly fine and that she not going to stop using the word ever and that it is fine that she uses it. Agree or disagree?

141 comments:

Miranda said...

No. It's not okay for a privileged white woman to use that word. Full stop.

kgirl said...

Not okay at all.

KPeony said...

She's an asshole. Not okay.

VIPblonde said...

Warning: this is meant to be funny

With the amount of black men she's had up her ass, I think she's earned the right to say it with an "a."

I'm all good with Lisa Lampanelli doing it, but for most other white people, it's a no. Highly offensive. Especially when Goop does it.

Lucas said...

Wait - isn't Lisa Lampanelli married to a black guy? Doesn't that make her black-adjacent? Kinda like my best friends are a lesbian couple so I get a pass on "dyke"?

Merlin D. Bear said...

Not okay.
So not okay.

Lucas said...

Exactly @VIPBlonde.

Della said...

No. It's not ok to use that word. I don't know who she is but using an a ending as apposed to er doesn't make any difference. Never ok.

Renoblondee said...

But that's Lisa's thing. She uses all the slurs in her schtick.

prolixe said...

She's an insult comic who makes Chelsea Handler look tame. I look at the n word the same as wetback - it's an offensive slur with a violent background that just keeps getting play from people who use it over and over.

Speaking of... did you know there was a US gov't movement in 1954 called "Operation Wetback"?

"In 1954, the executive branch of the U.S. government implemented Operation Wetback, a program created in response to public hysteria about immigration and immigrants."

Every time someone brings up the good ol' days, I can't help but mention "whites only" water fountains and Operation Wetback.

EmEyeKay said...

Not okay.

Turkish Taffy said...

Not OK at all. Too loaded with painful associations. Like the r-word, people say they don't mean anything by it, but it is too painful for those who have been abused with it in their life.

Kate said...

I have a black friend who calls me the n-word with an a and says I'm fine to call him that because we are friends. Its not used as a derogatory term.

I wouldn't walk up to someone on the street and say it but with him I don't feel bad for calling him that.

I'm a white girl, as white as they come.

warecat said...

agreed!

Tuxedo Cat said...

No, it's not okay and in addition, sounds really stupid when one white person uses it to refer to another white person.

I'm white, so I will never use the word. I don't have the right. Black comedians use it sometimes, and rappers to make a point, but I think they even need to be careful, because some black people don't like it in any context.

If a person can't find a word to replace the n word, they have a pretty piss-poor vocabulary.

Renoblondee said...

My teenage daughters bff is black and I've heard the bff refer to my white daughter as one of her _______ before.

urban chaos said...

Lisa is oh so edgey as is Lena dunham with their white privilege being urban and hip. ::eye roll::
Completely unnecessary and using controversy to get press/publicity.

hollywood dime said...

it's a slur. period. why does she want to say it so badly is more concerning to me? She's not funny with the word or without it.

just curious said...

Nu Nigga Rule: a WW is allowed to say nigga/nigger just as long she is addressed as a CUNT.
Any deviation from this rule should result in said White Woman being treated like the WM offspring that she helps bring into the world...snap her shit up!!!
No exceptions to the rule...no matter how many black dicks she's had,how "mixed" her babies are ,what rap song she's singig along with,how much liquor she drank or what nappyheaded fool cut her off the highway.
Enforce the Rule.

Amartel said...

This word is not going to go away until and unless everyone stops using it. It's used to get attention, to provoke. So stop giving it attention, stop being provoked. It's so lame, tired, and worn out at this point it barely has any meaning other than "look at me." It started off as a slur against blacks by low class whites, continued its life as a low class way for blacks to refer to each other "ironically," and now it's basically just a cry for attention. The only time I ever hear this word is from stupid celebrities who are clearly not up to the task of saying anything of interest so this is their default.

Ashlea said...

Not play and I hate them both.

just curious said...

LL dated brothers in the pass but she married some "guido" looking dude about 2-3 years ago.I really have no problem with her comedy within context.

IMakeNoSense said...

Why do you get to make the rules?

just curious said...

LOL,I didn't even know who Lena Dunham was,I had to google.

That's the racist bitch that said Rihanna was a bad role model for taking Chris back..but she left out Hope Solo and Diane Lane for 4giving their men.

Superstitious FunDelicious said...

I am originally from WV, but lived in NYC for 5 years. The last 2 in the Bronx. All of my friends were black or Puerto Rican and mostly guys, and my boyfriend is black. My friends and I are all geeks, and we would spend hours around a table playing Dungeons and Dragons, which if you don't know is basically a lot of talking, and the way we played, we'd laugh and joke and tease each other a whole lot. The running joke was that I was half black, because I spent so much time with them and because my boyfriend is black. "You've had so much black D in you, you are half black." I know that sounds crewed, but we are all educated people with jobs, and just joke a lot and rag on each other.

Anyway - they told me that I could call them the N word with the "a" at the end, because I am cool on that level. My response was, with my country accent, no matter how I say it and in what context it will come out sounding so racists. I am like, what if I get used to saying that at our D&D table, but then we are out and I say it. I will get beat down, because my accent just sounds like I should wear white sheets on my head.

I do not think it is acceptable at all. It doesn't matter if you are down with the brown. NO!

I could tell an even more interesting story... but I am not sure if I know yall well enough for that!

Ms Cool said...

No. Language is important. Think of all the derogatory terms for people who aren't white and for women and especially their private parts. There aren't nearly as many nasty, ugly terms for men or their privates.

SusanB said...

It's not ok, period. I've laughed at Lisa L. before, but it was more a laugh of shock than of her being funny.

lostathome said...

I don't give a shit if she uses it or not. As long adage isn't throwing it around or if she's quoting something, I don't see what the problem is. I doubt she's going up to random black dudes and calling them that.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Attention seeker. Out of all the other words in the English language Lisa could have used, she purposefully chose that one to start some shit and get her name some cover. She knew what she was doing. I think with all the acclaim and success that women like Tina and Amy are earning in the industry, people like Lisa have to rely on controversy to stay relevant.

just curious said...

Actually,YOU make the rules.
YOU wanna De-sensitize the word NIGGER but wanna fire or fine a brother for saying faggot or voicing his own opinion about gays.

Lurky Loo said...

No one should say it, I don't care who you are...this isn't a 'right to say it' issue. It's wrong for EVERYONE to say, period. Did anyone see the Rolling Stone cover with Lena Dunham on it? I always thought she was kind of gross, but she is completely revolting on that cover.

seaward said...

That word has never been a part of my lexicon. Ever. Whether it ends with -er or -a, I have never said it. I guess I just don't get why a middle aged white woman would say it, other than shock value. Which, considering who Lisa is, seems about right.
So in answer to the question: Disagree.

Dave M. said...

Lena Dunham has a (white female) writer who also uses the N word because it's hipster ironic to be racist, or some other nonsense.

It's never acceptable for people to justify their use of the term, and they know it. They are attention whores whoring for attention.

just curious said...

That's LL's gimmick:she's an AVERAGE WW w/o the trainer or botox.
She's one of the few female comedians I can actually sit and watch.
Her stuff at Flava Flav's Roast is the funniest.
That and her trippin' on Palin's grandkid with Down's Syndrome.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Attention seeker. Out of all the other words in the English language Lisa could have used, she purposefully chose that one to start some shit and get her name some cover. She knew what she was doing. I think with all the acclaim and success that women like Tina and Amy are earning in the industry, people like Lisa have to rely on controversy to stay relevant. As Tina and Amy and Melissa McCarthy prove you don't have to be shocking to get laughs. You just have to be talented.

And yes, I've enjoyed Lisa's roast work. I'm also liking Amy Shuemer. Lena Dunham? I'm not getting the appeal of her. Janeane Garafalo did the same thing almost 20 years ago - and way better.

kathrynnova said...

why are people so bent on making this word sacred? i am SO fucking sick of hearing it, and hearing people up in arms about hearing it. i NEVER use it, but get so disappointed with dialogue such as this because what we're all doing here is promoting its relevancy and keeping such a hateful word quite alive and well. i wish WISH that it could fade into oblivion and become obsolete, but we just can't let it go, can we? all a loser celebrity has to do is say it, and everyone's all "OMIGOD DID YOU HEAR SO AND SO SAID THE N WORD!!!! OMIGOD THAT IS SO WRONG!!" this woman used it so she would get attention. good job. we're giving her what she wants. so now she can use it again and she will get more attention. yeah, it certainly looks like we're trying to solve racism, huh? full stop.

JSierra said...

Disagree 100% It's ignorant.

IMakeNoSense said...

Please show me where i did any of this?

I'm not in a position to fire our fine anyone.

Seriously what the fuck are you talking about?

MJsNugget said...

Dating black men does not automatically grant her a ghetto pass. Only a person w a pass can use the N word and not get a beat down.

MISCH said...

My best friend is mixed race, I would never ever use that word

Lucas said...

@Supersticious - you are kinda obligated to tell now. And high-five for multi-culti D&D.

Annie Hall said...

@kathrynnova, I am just curious if you are a minority of any kind, because whether you want to admit it or not, it does matter and it would explain your opinion on the subject of the N-word.

Personally, as a dark haired woman with some middle eastern heritage, I still consider myself as having white privilege, for a FEMALE. I don't have white MALE privilege. That is like winning the freakin' lottery (TM Louis CK). But having a dose of white privilege automatically takes me out of the running to be able to safely use a word like the N-word because of the painful history that neither me nor anybody in my family ever had to experience. It is about respect for the trauma and horrific injustices that we inflicted on so many minorities.

Louis CK has a great take on this if you are interested http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=derzWWYf3-w. It's all about historical context. And respect, you know, having actual empathy and compassion for the human condition of what other people perceive and experience.

just curious said...

Whitefolk like to say nigger or like being called nigger BUT don't want to be treated like one.

When you hear folks complain about TSA violating their rights and unlawful searches,you have to laugh becoz that's the way cops treat blackfolk.

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

How would she like it if I called her an ugly fat bitch

Selock said...

Not okay...but remember, these people make a living off if "showing us how ridiculous shallow assholes are". It's just play acting, right? It's like a service!

*cough*

digal704 said...

Nobody should use any type of a slur, period. It's just ugly and not funny. It's especially ugly when you are of a different race using it to describe someone else. It's also ugly when you use it about your own race. However, people do what they want and we only have control of ourselves.

Mary Ann said...

I'm a white southern woman. I would never use that word. I have a knee-jerk negative reaction to it. I'm old enough to have lived through the upheavals of the Civil Rights era. I well remember the Bad Old Days of segregation. I give no one a pass on that word.

I don't like any derogatory words of any kind. If I can't respect you, why should I ask you to respect me? And vice-versa.

just curious said...

YOU as in society,brainless.

Comma Chaser said...

Not acceptable. For many of the reasons cited above.

Selock said...

I agree with this. It's more lame than anything.

With this word, it's all about context...who's saying it, who it's describing and the intent.

just curious said...

"..because it's hipster ironic to be racist, or some other nonsense."


You think Alec used this excuse.

Upside Downunder said...

It is one of the few words that is not ok to use, regardless of the speaker's race. For an African ancestry person to use it, it is dismissive of slave history, not empowering. I am saddened to see it used in any context. Slavery is one of the most depraved institutions of humanity, if not the most.

lazyday603 said...

That's so gay of her to use an offensive word like that.

IMakeNoSense said...

Mom he called me a name

just curious said...

I wished folks applied this POV to the other slurs. Lamp is Jewish,does she make Jewish slurs funny? Anyone? When was the last time you heard a Jweish slur (kike,etc) spoken by a comedian or used in tv /movie?

IMakeNoSense said...

I love your generalizations. Oh I'm sorry...I love YOUR generalizations.

Single Man in Love with Love said...

Let me just say this. NEVER IS IT OK TO USE THE WORD WHITE PEOPLE! Get the fuck over it. Stop it. Or don't complain when you get smacked in the face. Lisa L. is a piece of shit. She's not funny. I really wish a few black girls would get a hold of her FAT ass and kick her teeth in!

just curious said...

Your mom brought you into the world...she's part of the problem.

Angela said...

I'm more shocked about Lampanelli using the D word, as in Lena "Dun#@m".
An overexposed comedian that people feel obliged to defend as edgy because she's from New York, self-demeaning and also because a few idiots criticize her nudity, finding the girl ugly.
But her show and her character aren't that groundbreaking. Rolling Stone calling Girls "The Best Show on TV" is the most insulting thing they've printed in a long time, including their 5-star reviews of Mick Jagger solo albums.

annabella said...

she's an a--hole who should know better. she just did it for attention is my guess.

just curious said...

Where's Chris Dorner at when ya' need him.

prolixe said...

Don't feed the troll, please.

Mary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IMakeNoSense said...

I'm brainless again...does this mean you want someone to kill me?

IMakeNoSense said...

My mom personally or you talking about society again?

Sandy said...

I don't understand the context - was she saying that Lena Dunham is the n-word? That n-words like her because she's fat? What? This makes no sense and sounds incredibly stupid and so obviously meant to shock (even though it makes no sense).

And yeah, racial epithets should never be uttered by anyone, even the by the racial/ethnic group in question, just because it perpetuates the hate.

just curious said...

Funny reading whitefolks debating the use of nigger.Strange as hell but funny.

dragon said...

I live in hood. We use it all the time were I live. I cant say I see a problem when i use it with my friends and etc

prolixe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
prolixe said...

And the question was... (duh, Pro) -

Anyone else seen Limitless? I thought the girlfriend character (Abbie Cornish) was Charlize Theron at first!

Anna Nonymous said...

it's a stupid name, that white people shouldn't say at all, it's there's they've reclaimed it, let them use it if they're comfortable with it. I don't want to use that word anyway.

Annie Hall said...

@Anna Nonymous "I don't want to use that word anyway." EXACTLY! And I don't understand why white people are so obsessed with this imaginary oppression that they feel from not being able to use the word. What is wrong with NOT using the word? I will never understand.

Annie Hall said...

*correction, "a lot of white people" It sounds like I am saying all white people feel that way. Didn't mean to generalize.

Desiree said...

too much emphasis being put on words. Why do people continue to make it an issue????

Desiree said...

too much emphasis being put on words. Why do people continue to make it an issue????

Superstitious FunDelicious said...

@Lucas - Our D&D sessions are epic. I moved back to WV a year and a half ago, and haven't been able to find a RPG group I fit with since. I miss it. I also miss being in such a culturally diverse area.

I also tried to tell the other story, but it sounds so bad when I put it "down on paper".

smash said...

Imakenosense- give it a rest girl. You are fighting a pointless battle. Unless you come armed don't try to fight.

And just curious- every single comment thus far has said NO this is NOT ok. Lisa L is an ignorant prick douche bag. I like to use words that have meaning. Like she is prick, she is flabby, she has skin hanging like a ball sack. She is a douche bag, she likes to slurp up her partners dirty bits and leftovers from the other people they are fucking . SEE. You can insult someone and call them names. Just know what your saying when you say it.

(Sorry if I offended anyone with pricks or people who use douchebags) have a nice day.

Superstitious FunDelicious said...

OMG Smash... hilarious.

jax said...



the only thing holding you back is YOU. Step into 2013 instead of blaming everyone else for your lack of success/ambition/money/ career/education.

Personal responsibility, give it a try.



Maja With a J said...

I really have no idea what I'm supposed to get offended by these days. If someone called me "Nigga", I would assume the underlying joke was how white and nerdy I am.

smash said...

Hey real Jax. You are so right.

smash said...

Thank you superstitious! I just CAN'T anymore with this crap.

prolixe said...

jc is baiting, as usual.

Smash, that was a George Carlin worthy takedown!

AKM said...

She is so gross. So is Lena. Ugh.

Not okay. For ANYONE.

Oh, and LL is not Jewish. She's Italian and she was raised Catholic.

smash said...

Well thank you very much prolixe! I can go on and on. I really do not care for Lisa L. Her brand of humor is much worse to me than Chelsea Handler. And also, it just had to be done. :)

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I don't use it conversationally, but when I'm singing along to a Biggie song, I LEAN into that shit.

And what

Geebz said...

Not cool. Not ok for anyone. This word being used by the rappers and such is suppressive.

For anyone not black; why would you WANT to use the word? Seriously? Why? What does that say about you?

People that are black that use the word; why do you? Your ancestors...hell probably the previous generation in your family went through hell dealing with the fun that came with throwing that word around. People were still being hung in the 1960s because they were thought of as less than human and that word was a representation of that feeling.

And loves, bitching about people using that word is not people using it as an excuse for things holding them back. The first thing you think of when someone uses that word is not your 'buddy', 'pal', or 'person dear to you', you will probably think instantly of a black male. Maybe one into hip hop culture, even.

The word needs to die like polio.

scratchy kitty said...

Totally disagree. A slur is still a slur.
Btw, trash, even if it does come from.money, is still trash, and both Lampshade and Le Dunce are trash.

prolixe said...

@jeebs, I can't speak for black people, but I'm Native American and we call ourselves "injun" or Indian" all the time as a kind of back-slap joke. I think of it like this: my brother is an idiot, but only I get to say that. Anyone else calling my brother an idiot gets a face-full of my fist. Only I get insult my brother, b*s!!

I read Malcolm Gladwell's "Freakanomics" a couple of years ago and his part about African American baby names was very interesting. (Here is a Slate take on the article.

Brian said...

She is a comedienne. I only have one question when comedy writers use the n-word: "Is the joke funny?"

Geebz said...

I guess I can see that pro but it's SO ugly. When you say "injun", I couldn't even imagine using that. Typing it felt wrong.

My old CO used to say, "When in doubt, leave it out.". I'll have to check out Freakanomics at my local library.

CDAN-educating people daily in the comments.

TracySwingKid said...

Should have said Ninja. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ns-kXeQCMk

prolixe said...

@geebz, I feel exactly the same way typing the n word but typing Injun doesn't bother me at all. The Redskins tick me off to a million degrees (really, are there any sports teams called the Kikes or the Negroes?) but when I brought it up in a group, they said, oh, you're offended by being associated with a powerful sports group?

Up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's a POINT MISSED. Sheesh.

Sorry, tangent there. Freakanomics is a really interesting book - he goes off sometimes, but if you're a data nerd, it's like Jim Butcher.

Geebz said...

My brother sent me this a year ago and I found it funny, sad and intriguing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLZA32oHbC4

Elly said...

I read "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. It is a great book and I plan to read more. I'ge read "Freakanomics" too. I didn't realize he wrote it.

Vkn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
auntliddy said...

Let the n word die already. There has never been a curcumstance in my life that i ever thought of using that word. I dont think anyone should use such an ugly word. It isnt remotely "cool".

Fish said...

LL is such an unpleasant and nasty person. Whatever commentary she was making about LD, her fast and loose mouth crippled the message. Tacky in a list of tack.

However, I was actually very offended at the time by Lena Durham's comment on Rhianna being a poor role model. I do think LD is very talented. I applaud how she puts herself out there and challenges the tv female ideal. Very brave work (loved last week's episode).

However, LD also has the incredible bonus of having been brought up in an exceedingly wealthy and artistic NYC environment - where she has flourished.

In SHARP contrast, Rhianna succeeded in spite of a difficult childhood that includes poverty, drugs, and a stormy family history.

When you have the deluxe edition of life, you should hold your tongue on how other people should live their lives. Or take a few social work courses and gain some empathy understanding of how the other half really lives.

feraltart said...

Anna, are you moved out safely?

NaughtyNurse said...

The N word is one word that just needs to go away. Like "whom."

Tuxedo Cat said...

I don't see how just can be accused of race baiting when the subject of the post is the 'n' word. Holy shit!!

Just, I wish you wouldn't use the hateful words against women. It hurts my feelings, because I am one.

This was a thoughtless way for LL to get attention. The n word must trigger emotions in a black person that no white person can ever understand.

If I had been at that taping or interview I would have walked out.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Disagree. Even if I got "permission" to use it, I would never.

prolixe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TuesdayAdams said...

I don't care of your ONE black friend says its ok, why would you want to call them your "nigga"?

Brea McCain said...

^this & you win the internets today. Thank you.

Sherry said...

Lisa is a friend of a friend of mine. They met each other in rehab.

Anyone want her email address?

MadLyb said...

Any white person who uses that word is either a racist or a pathetic wannabe. Blacks use that word because they took a horrible racist slur and decided to own it and make it their own. And that means "Nigga", too. Sorry, if you're white, you can't use that word, period.

MadLyb said...

Crappy writing. Sorry.

nevermindthat said...

If it's meant as a term of endearment then I think it's fine. That word only has the power that you give it. People know when that word is being used in a hateful way and when it's meant in a non-hateful way.
Just b/c Blacks turned it into a slang word doesn't make it okay for them to use it either truth beint told.

gee-gee said...

Lisa Lampanelli is an unfunny asshole. She gets too much attention for saying stupid shit.

car54 said...

nope, I don't think any white person needs to be using that word.

JSierra said...

So I am assuming that everyone who thinks it is an ok word to use had no problem with Nessa using the word chink in one of her posts.

Fish you must have missed the part of Lena's comment where she said that she wasn't a good role model either.

Tuxedo JC is baiting when he makes numerous posts with inflammatory comments that aren't meant to add to the discussion, but rather rile it up. One or two comments isn't baiting, but when he doesn't get a response and continually posts ignorant comments to get said response, that is baiting. Have you ever noticed that when people ignore him, he floods the thread with ridiculous comments? Baiting.

Unknown said...

Sorry wasn't it explained by the rap community that nigga is my homie my friend..and ni__er is offensive. Isn't NWA nigga with attiudes so we can't talk about them? I say it was a parody use in humor - let it go.

FlirtyChick74 said...

I'm so glad this discussion is being had. I'm a black woman. I have a co-worker who I know has been dying to call me a nigger and finally got his chance recently when he and other co-workers were discussing ground nuts and the word niggernuts came up. He brought it up. It was sideways but he "got to say it". It's been a long time coming. I said my piece and moved on. The thing that has lingered from that situation and many others is this: what is the desire to use this word? My whole life has been multicultural. My relationships and friendships have been extremely diverse. I've always lived in diverse environments across the country. It's never been in my heart or mind to call another group by a derogatory name, no matter how angry I am. If anything, I will always address issues that I have a problem with head on. I find it hard to believe that people say things for shock value. I think that words reveal what is in the heart.

So, I'm up in the air about the whole nigger movement. Part of me is appalled but part is me is glad that I know what I am dealing with. I still don't get what it's about because words reveal intent. I get it from a black on black point of view. That has been well discussed to death. The meaning is different. I haven't had a clear message concerning what it means in a white POV. And the whole Carlos Mencia/ hipster racism thing is unclear. What are you really trying to get at when you call someone a nigger?

Goodnight said...

"People that are black that use the word; why do you?"

I'm not black so I can't give an answer to that, but might I suggest that for some it's an issue of reclaiming the word?

I know a lot of gay people use homophobic slurs to refer to themselves because they want to reclaim the word, i.e by using it themselves they take the insult and pain out of the word. I'm a gay woman and my best friend is a gay man. He and I say things like 'that is Liberace gay' and call ourselves and each other a dyke, fag etc.

That said, we only use that language in the privacy of our own conversations because we don't want to offend other people. Oddly straight people get more offended by it than other gays and lesbians, so make of that what you will.

I don't think it's appropriate for LL to use that word even if she is married to a black guy. I wouldn't want my straight friends to call other people fags and dykes and think they get a pass because they know a lesbian.

just curious said...

That's a Female!!! I swear to GOD I thought the poster was some white dude living with his momma. Oh well.

just curious said...

And yeah, racial epithets should never be uttered by anyone, even the by the racial/ethnic group in question, just because it perpetuates the hate.

****
You make up good point but 've been around Asians who call each other F.O.B. (Fresh off the boat)
Indians who use the word 'skin or Redskin amongst themselves and Latinos who throw "Mexican" around like its' an insult.
They can say it others OUTSIDE their culture can't say it and that's understandable.

Why do whites want to say nigger? What do they get out of it? Do you get the same thrill as saying any other ethnic slur?

Are you taking the power back?

Whites make more of an issue out of the word than Blacks,I really do believe.

Geebz said...

@Goodnight, I appreciate that explanation. I just don't understand the appeal of using it or any other slur at all. My friends and I here always refer to people as hillbillies but we're talking about loggers, flannel shirt-wearing, PBR drinking, tabakky chewing dudes (my ex included) in town of ALL races. (honestly mostly white and latino) We think of it as more of a sub-culture than a slur BUT never cr#cker or w#tback.

I don't know. It's just sad and unnecessary.

rexruther said...

I believe language is important. Words can be harmful. I think that there is easy racism and hard racism. It's really easy to focus on a public figure saying something racist. People are quick to spend time discussing a celebrity saying something stupid. The difficult discussion happens when we talk about real disparity - in schools, incarceration, neighborhoods. These conversations make a lot of people very uncomfortable.

I also think that the line has been blurred in the past decade in regards to this word and other slurs. Real conversations happen when we go beyond the surface and truly look at the what, when, where, why and how.



FlirtyChick74 said...

I'm trying to understand the desire. Is it because it is taboo? My co- worker gave the lame excuse that these things just "slip out". WTF??? I told him there's no excuse. He and his friends are adults and know right from wrong. I guess I want for people who claim to be not racist why do they use racist language? What's really inside of them? I want people to be honest about who they are and what their beliefs are. I doubt I'll ever get that.

E Gee Be said...

Smash wins this thread! And just no. It's an ugly word with an uglier history.

Superstitious FunDelicious said...

Am I the only one that keeps thinking "Cool J" every time they read a post that call her "LL". No one should be called "LL" but the luscious lip licker himself.

hamster party said...
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hamster party said...

Ugh. Never, never, never. No white person should ever have that word coming out of their mouth, actually any race other than african american. It's so reprehensible, ignorant, and disrespectful, there is no justification. If she had described me in such a fashion, I would be foaming-at-the-mouth raging, but I haven't heard a response from Lena. I cannot stand Lena anyway, so two peas in a rotten, pussing pod.

rexruther said...

I don't know why some people use language they know is harmful, Flirtychick. Possibly because it's taboo? They enjoy hurting someone else? Because they feel threatened and this is how they retaliate?

Words like that do not just "slip out".

just curious said...

I think Enty is baiting.He post this not me.Race does sell(Magic/Bird...Rocky/Apollo..Chris Brown...OJ...Obama...Alec,Mel,Mike Richards,etc) I just comment like everyone else.

just curious said...

You're the second person today that I mistaken for a dude.

FlirtyChick74 said...

@just curious: I do not think this is race baiting. Calling this convo race baiting is just shutting down the conversation, which I am sick and tired of. I want people to put their feelings " on front street". I want honest discussion.

just curious said...

No argument here.

just curious said...

Just, I wish you wouldn't use the hateful words against women. It hurts my feelings, because I am one.
*********
This will be case by case ONLY....but the nigga rule still stands.

Redmena said...

Lisa Lampanelli is a satirist. She uses all those words no one says, or will admit to ever thinking about saying to point out how empty those words are, and to show how awful someone would be to genuinely want to use those words. By doing so, she makes all those terrible words and slurs lose their power, those words become laughable. On another note, she will actually insult anyone and everyone who catches her eye, even herself.

The panic I see here show that far too many give far too much power to mere words. Stop taking them seriously, and they can no longer harm you, and real bigots lose a weapon.

Mango said...

...snap her shit up

@ just curious - I'm not even sure what that means. Snap her shit up? Does that mean shut her up?

YOU wanna De-sensitize the word NIGGER but wanna fire or fine a brother for saying faggot or voicing his own opinion about gays.

White athletes should also be fined for using the "F" word.

Lisa Lampinelli is crude, crude, crude. She has no finesse.

I don't use the N word or like hearing the N word used. I get that for some reason blacks can call other blacks the N word and I have to admit that it cracks me up when Wanda Sykes calls other blacks "negro" in her comedy sketches. (I also laugh when people fall down or get hurt on America's Home Videos". Sue me.)

Mango said...

@ Goodnight - my closest male friend is gay and he refers to himself and his friends as "faggots" all the time. A few weeks ago he and his roommate were renting a room in their house and he said that a gay guy "and his fag hag" came over to check out the place. Maybe he felt comfortable talking to me like that because we're so close, but I'll have to ask him about that; when is it and is it not appropriate language.

rexruther said...

Panic? What panicking do you see here, specifically? What an odd choice of word to use while speaking to an entire group of people who for the most past, were having an intelligent, thoughtful discussion.

I take umbrage with using the word "laughable" as well. The connotation is that we all should be "over" specific things that are problematic. I understand where you're coming from, but the "relax and don't worry" message makes everything lose its meaning and importance. We can't just pretend these things away or act like it's not a real thing. That's a slippery slope to general apathy, which is what many people are fighting hard against to keep empathy a "thing". You know what empathy means, right? Empathy is having the ability and werewithal to recognize others feeling emotions.

We all do this in every human interaction. And if you're not born with empathy, you must be taught it. Usually comes from experience. Doesn't this slur seem like the opposite of empathy to you?

So Lisa is a shock comic. Got it. I can still find her ridiculous and horrible. You know how much self-loathing it takes to be a comedian for most people? It's a hefty ingredient. Look up some biographies. Shock comedy is borne of self-hate and then simply gets to hating. Not the kind of person I'd associate with, but I'm kinda choosy. No haters.

rexruther said...

Major ups, Annie.

Goodnight said...
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Goodnight said...

@Mango

It's incredibly common (in my experience) for members of the gay community to use homophobic slurs and I don't know that everyone has a reason for doing it, it's just kind of done. It's mostly gay rights activists I've encountered who talk about reclamation. Personally I use those words sarcastically, it's just a joke between me and my best friend. I've been called a dyke before and it really doesn't worry me, in part I think because it's almost a term of endearment between us. I call myself his fag hag and he calls himself my les bro.

Lucas said...

Sure. I think she's hilarious and it would be fun to send an email that says "Hey, so we were totally talking shit about you on this gossip site and someone offered up your email addy and I couldn't resist the opportunity to actually interact with someone I've seen on TV (other than that vapid weather bitch I'm always running into at the coffee shop)."

brentbent said...

OK folks, it is indeed Ok for her to use because of the context of how she is using it, which is to disempower the hateful aspect of the word by rebranding it as a positive term of endearment just like some African-Americans use the word nigger to defuse its power, just like gays & lesbians who use the words faggot, dyke, and queer as terms of endearment so that when some knuckle dragging, mouth breathing bigot says "You're a flaming faggot!" the person can respond, "Thank you for supporting the gay rights movement and our efforts to reclaim offensive words by making them ironic." Granted, if you aren't a member of the words being used, i.e. if you are using nigga and aren't black, then some scrutiny will surely land upon you to make sure it's coming from a place of love, like with Lampanelli or Chelsea Handler, or is it coming from a place of hate like Dennis Miller. As a gay man in Idaho, my efforts to program my brain to accept queer, fag, homo as positive words has made it much, much easier to deal with the idiots who use those words as weapons to bully others. When a guy calls me a "Cocksucking faggot" I responded with "Are you pointing out the patently obvious are is this your way of asking me to suck you off?" Now with somebody like Azalea Banks, who was calling Perez Hilton a fag, she was doing it as an insult and using it that way is unacceptable unless you think trolling is a legitimate form of art. (it's not.) When Lisa Lampanelli uses those words it's usually along the lines of "I love the spics, I really do," and then she lists reasons why she loves them. It lets people know that there are plenty of people in the world who know that such words can be hurtful and, more importantly, that those words can be reclaimed by the people they are being hurled at as invectives. If you have the capacity to think beyond black and white, yes or no, always right or always wrong constructs you will quickly notice the difference between people who are using such words as terms of endearment and those who are using them as tools to verbally disparage those they don't like. Huge, huge difference as anybody with any public speaking or debating skills can tell you. I can say something as polite as "My, that's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen you in," yet the words don't matter if the delivery of those words are infused with sarcasm and condescension. That being said, if a person of a discriminated community tells you they don't like such things, then respect their wishes and don't use such transformative perjoratives around them, but at the same time, it is ridiculous to expect people to censor their language incessantly because somebody don't cannot grasp the nuance created by people who see words not as tools to dominate or denigrate others but as ideas to help encourage everybody to remember that words are powerful and disrupt or even ruin people's lives. A this word is always bad mentality does nothing to help promote evolution towards a more positive framework because the people that need to learn how to alter their behavior are being told they are monsters who should never utter such a word. It's not too likely such castigated bigots will be open to anything that could help them reduce their bigotry.

tl;dr Context matters with words like these. I can call a person by the proper term they want but I can also infuse that proper term with sarcasm and condescension by the way I say the words so it is more important to analyze the particular situation to see if the comments were meant to be hurtful or were meant to empower people so those words won't be as hurtful when the mouth breathers spew them. Black and white solutions never work for complex problems. Black and white solutions work for engineering problems but for social problems it is a never ending morass of gray that over time we will suffuse with color.

nicanon said...

is it offense when a brit uses cunt? no, because it doesnt mean anything to them. As a canadian female I wouldnt personally use it, but it does not offend me if someone uses it without malice.

I hate the n-er word, but nigga is exclusively used as a replacement for the word friend or buddy. What is offensive about calling someone a friend! Move on society.

nicanon said...

Also - just curious - why does is seem like caucasian folks are always accused of being racist, but no other race is?
Why dont people get it shouldnt be about skin pigment, but about where you grew up, or your customs that makes people "different".