Crazy Days and Nights: Jesse James Gets Married Again

Monday, March 25, 2013

Jesse James Gets Married Again

Well, it has now been one full day since Jesse James got married and there have been no reports of him cheating on his new bride yet. I'm not sure what line of crap Jesse told his new wife Alexis DeJoria to convince her to walk down the aisle, but he must be really tired from shoveling so hard. He cheats constantly. He has a crazy porn star ex-wife and Jesse enjoys anything Nazi related. He is a keeper. Alexis is a bazillionaire though so maybe Jesse can keep himself relatively well behaved. This is his fourth marriage.

30 comments:

Betsy said...: yuck; 6:48 AM
HolidayinCambodia said...: He must have a magic dick.; 6:48 AM
lalaland said...: hope theres a prenup; 6:54 AM
ethorne said...: She looks a little cray, like she'll chop his balls when he cheats. He just looks like a doof in that pic.; 6:58 AM
Christopher Cruz said...: Ew. Just... Ew.; 7:00 AM
Ari said...: he must have a golden rod; 7:03 AM
Steampunk Jazz said...: With all his sterling qualities, I'm surprised he lasted on the open market as long as he did! That Man is a fixer upper with bunker basement appeal. (locked of course..and sound proofed); 7:06 AM
LottaColada said...: Gold digging whore!

(and I'm not talking about Alexis); 7:07 AM
Robert said...: A pair of lookers, for sure.; 7:08 AM
Agent**It said...: FYI : Her father is John Paul Dejoria, co-founder of the Paul Mitchell hair care products line and Patron Spirits Company.; 7:11 AM
Anonymous said...: Lalaland 2nd that. I'm guessing he didn't get shit from Sandra Bullock. Could you imagine the public backlash if he'd gone after her money? I always thought there was more to that story though, something tells me Sandy isn't as squeaky clean as some think.; 7:19 AM
Mama June said...: She looks like a cross between Octomom and Amy Fisher.; 7:25 AM
KPeony said...: @Agent : Eww she's the Paul Mitchell hieress and her hair looks that grimy?; 7:32 AM
greenmountaingal said...: Just looks wise, I've never found Jesse James attractive. I usually like the bad boys, but he has crazy eyes. Also, he's a dickwad.; 7:35 AM
Lucas said...: Jesse James is plenty rich on his own. But that pic is freakin' hi-larious. Now we all know that rebellion amongst billionaires with daddy issues isn't that much different than rebellion amongst trailer trash with daddy issues. And before anyone says anything I spent years living in a trailer park under the flight line of Memphis International - I get to call anyone I want trailer trash because I recognize my own ;); 7:46 AM
Anonymous said...: Congrats....perhaps she's the one. ((Shrugs)); 7:49 AM
Anonymous said...: Time for Daddy to cut him a secret check to make him go away. Annulment in 3...2...; 8:30 AM
OKay said...: @katydid - you and me both. I always assumed it was the same kind of arrangement that Demi and Ashton and every other "successful" Hwood couple had. Screw around all you want, but don't get caught or embarrass me publicly. Because clearly it's not cheating on your wife that's the problem, it's the world knowing that you did it.; 8:46 AM
Taracu said...: Sandy B is a lesbian. They bearded for each other- a symbiotic relationship. He made her appear straight. She helped him appear more wholesome and likeable. She couldn't care less he was pounding everyone in town, until it was made public and she had to deal with public humiliation.; 8:58 AM
Sherry said...: Lucas: I admit it, I lived in a trailer too. I was totally dickmatized just like this woman must be.; 9:02 AM
crila16 said...: Ewww is right. He's gross.

@Taracu...yes. I agree, but I don't care if Sandy is gay or straight. She just appears to be a good person. I'm just surprised after the breakup, when he was expelling Sandy's secrets...the one secret he never said anything about was that she was a lesbian.; 9:03 AM
Taracu said...: Me neither, @crila. Just saying that things usually aren't as they appear in HWood.

Sandra does seen like a genuine, nice person. I think Jesse wouldn't want to do a really low blow like outing someone who didn't want it. I think they genuinely had affection for each other.; 9:17 AM
Mango said...: I just don't see this fucking NEO NAZI having the patience or kindness to beard for a lesbian. OTOH, he does seem to be a real fame/attention whore. He must have loved getting to chat and rub elbows with all the A-listers who don't have motorcycles (or whatever the hell it is he does).

I say we take bets on how long this love fest will last.; 9:51 AM
auntliddy said...: They are both idiots, therefore deserve each other. Its like her 3rd or 4 th marriage too. Enjoy your few months together.; 9:57 AM
Lucas said...: @Sherry - I wasn't dickmatized, I was a teenager living with my mom. She had tranferred from my hometown to Memphis for work and had her trailer hauled up there. Little did she know she moved into a park full of Irish Travellers of the "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" variety. It was a trip for sure.; 10:55 AM
NomNom83 said...: Is it just me or do they look like one another? Same bone structure or something...; 11:40 AM
Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...: NomNom, you're right, it's a kind of Mr. Peanut vibe going on.; 12:19 PM
Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...: I think Jesse James liked Sandra Bullock because she's fluent in German, and he allegedly is a fan of all things Nazi. There's speculation that Bullock does too, but I don't believe that.

Something hysterical: That grey-haired guy from "Fast N Loud"... TMZ got him while he was in LA for something and asked about Jesse James starting a show like his in Texas. He started trash-talking James, talking about "getting famous by marrying an actress" and other stuff. Rockabilly fight!!!; 12:26 PM
MrWolf said...: I think you women need to have like a guild meeting and pass a rule regarding marrying Jesse James. Also John Mayer.

It really shouldn't be that hard to leap these hurdles, ladies.; 3:18 PM
di butler said...: I see a Dirty (Hitler) Sanchez in someone's future! I'd prefer Bullock as a lesbian. Imagine the fun new casting-making out with Melissa McCartney? Fey? Rebel Wilson? Also don't believe Sandy didn't give anything to that jizzwhistle, post divorce.He's hooked a big fish now, they probably registered at Mein and Yours Kampf.; 6:43 PM

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Monday, March 25, 2013

Jesse James Gets Married Again

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